


Building the tension

by HonestPassion13



Category: Vampire Academy & Related Fandoms, Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romitri, Extremely Dubious (Compelled) Consent, F/M, Limited reference to domestic assault, Spirit Compulsion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2019-08-22 20:50:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 37
Words: 128,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16605221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HonestPassion13/pseuds/HonestPassion13
Summary: Alternate Universe - What if the Mână never tried to claim Lissa?  The cabin would never happen.  Rose might have heard from Mason about the Strigoi attack sooner. Told from Rose's POV (mostly).We won't get into the Mature content rating for at least the first few chapters, but I am hoping to have a nice suitable replacement for the cabin scene eventually.Bear with me for the first few chapters where there is a lot of repetition of Mead's original text.  It will be diverging slowly to somethingcompletelydifferent.





	1. Things are changing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything prior to the Strigoi coming to St. Vladimir's campus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be gentle with me; this is my first time. (Please forgive the double entendre, there.) I'm starting this off from the section at the end of chapter 21 of Shadow Kiss where Jesse and Ralf are asking Lissa about joining Mână. I've added a few paragraphs from Mead's original text so you can (hopefully) tell where she leaves off and this starts, and also where the story just wouldn't entirely diverge that much from the original (mostly, this will only happen in the first few chapters), but I’ve tried to vary anything that isn’t actual words out of a character’s mouth. Original text underlined, where possible.  
> It’s possibly worth mentioning that I don’t own the characters, relationships, traits, or settings in the Vampire Academy world, but hopefully you all know that. After all, it’s called ‘fan fiction’ for a reason. Those are all the goddess/genius that is Richelle Mead. The plot and words of this storyline (most of it) is the only thing that is my own.  
> For the first few chapters, there are a couple of author notes in the middle where I just couldn’t find a good way to articulate a similar enough situation to Mead’s original storyline that would still transpire in this AU. I’ve tried to minimize the mid-chapter author notes, but it just doesn’t make sense without them. For now, the content rating as stated is Sexually Explicit, but there are warnings on the chapters with more graphic content. Let me know if you have major issues with either of those things - if I get enough negative feedback, I will try to rework it.  
>  **THIS CHAPTER WAS UPDATED ON FEBRUARY 11, 2019**

"Fine? With your Strigoi boyfriend and slutty wannabe guardian?" Ralf said, loud enough for Eddie to hear. Eddie looked pissed.

"Be quiet," said Jesse, anger coloring his voice.  Then, to Lissa, he said, "He shouldn't have said that…but he's kind of right. Your family's reputation is all on you, and the way you're going, no one's taking you seriously. The queen's already trying to keep you in line and get you away from Ozera. You're going to crash and burn."

At that, Lissa had had enough.  I could feel the spirit-driven anger bubbling up inside her.  She looked into Jesse's eyes and I could feel her working her compulsion on him, "I've never used compulsion," she said, "I'm completely clueless about it.  Now, tell me what this Mână thing is and why you think I'd want to be in it."  I could see the glazed-over look on Jesse's face and I knew that this battle was over better than if a guardian had defended her against a physical attack.

"We're using magic on people ... over by that jenky pond on the northwest edge of campus ... if they can compel us to stop, they're in ...  We got the impression you were excellent at compulsion ... we thought you'd want to make a difference in the way the legal system works ... get us royals more protection ..." His words were almost like they were being dragged out of him and his responses were jerky and stilted, but he couldn’t hold back.

"I don't want any part of any of that.  And you and your friends aren't going to bother me about joining anymore." Jesse nodded, mouth gaping open and still dazed, as Lissa continued her compulsion on him.

Ralf was still staring at Lissa, "What?" he practically hissed, "You just used compulsion on him - didn't you?"  At that, Lissa turned her gaze on Ralf, still using that same compulsion stare. "Ralf," she said, "You know I didn't use compulsion.  I couldn't possibly have that kind of ability,"  Lissa turned back to Jesse, "Now, tell me what you know about the queen's plans for me." 

"She wants you to marry Adrian Ivashkov." Jesse muttered, in a daze.  Lissa nearly laughed at the idea.

"We're done here," Lissa snapped, as she walked towards Eddie.

"Are you okay?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah.  Thanks, Eddie," said Lissa.

"What was that about?" asked Eddie

"They're obsessed with this royal society of something and want me to join so they can have every royal family in it.  They were kind of fanatic about it."

"Well, they can annoy you all they want, but they can't make you join something you don't want to," said Eddie.

"Don't worry - they won't be bothering me anymore," Lissa replied.

I slipped back into my own body and opened the door to my own dorm and headed upstairs to bed.

 

* * *

 

**This portion would be largely identical to the original text, so I have omitted it.  Rose goes to see Deirdre the counselor, then meets up with Lissa where Lissa relays the previous day's conversation with Jesse and Ralf and gets into the field experience practice attack with the three guardian teachers, culminating in Rose besting Dimitri in combat and ending up with Rose positioned on top of Dimitri, then walking back to her dorm alone.**

 

* * *

 

Back in my room, I saw how truly filthy I was from all of the mud and dirt of the practice attack.  After I took off my grungy clothes, I saw that I needed to take a thorough shower to get rid of the filth before I could be out in front of other people again.  After I finished, almost an entire hour had gone by and dinner was nearly done being served. As I ran back over to the commons, I heard Lissa in my mind: _Dinner's almost over._

As I rushed down the hallway that led to the cafeteria, I noticed a big group of people had gathered around something, and I recognized there was a fight.  Since I knew that the group of royals tended to keep their beatings private, I guess that this wasn’t them.  I squeezed in through the crowd and looked over the taller people to see what had brought so many people together.

I was astonished to see Adrian and Christian there.

Eddie was there, clearly in a referee role, stepped in between them.  Lissa was inside the cafeteria, but I checked into the bond and she was on her way out.  The time for niceties had passed, so I shoved in past the rest of the masses that had gathered in front of me and went to stand beside Eddie.

"What the hell's going on?" I asked.

Eddie seemed glad I was there.  Even if he was doing fine in keeping the combat instructors from ‘attacking’ his charge during our field experience, he didn’t have any idea how to handle this.

"No idea."

It didn’t look like anyone had hit the other person - yet.  Christian appeared to be the one who had started it, though.

"How long did you think you could get away with it?" he asked, with an angry gleam in in his eyes, "Did you seriously think everyone would keep buying your act?" Adrian appeared to be his usual pithy self, except for some hints of worry under his charming grin.  It seemed clear that he didn’t want this fight.

"Honestly," Adrian said, ready to be done with this, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Can we please just go sit down and discuss this reasonably?"

"Sure. Of course you'd want that. You're afraid I might do this."  said Christian, holding up an orange fireball with a core the color of his ice-blue eyes.  A few of the people around us gasped, but I was getting accustomed to seeing Moroi - especially Christian - fighting with magic.  For many of them, it was still pretty off-limits, though. Christian only gave a smug grin. "What have you got to fight back with? Plants?"

Lissa walked up and stepped between the two. "What is going on here?" she asked.

"Your boyfriend there thinks I'm planning to marry you and carry you off into the sunset," said Adrian. He spoke to Lissa, but his eyes never left Christian.

"Don't act like it's not true," Christian raged. "I know it is. It's been part of your plan—yours and the queen's. She's been backing you the whole time. Coming back here…the whole studying thing … it was a scam to get Lissa away from me and tied to your family instead."

Adrian said, "Do you have any idea how paranoid you sound?  My great-aunt has to manage the entire Moroi government! Do you think she really cares about who's dating who in high school—especially with the state of affairs lately? Look, I'm sorry about all the time Lissa and I've spent together. I really wasn't trying to get between you. There's no conspiracy going on here."

Christian was adamant, though. "Yes, there is."

He glanced over at me with a scowl, but it was Lissa who replied.  "I just heard about it last night from Ralf Sarcozy and Jesse Zeklos," Lissa replied, "It was the first I'd known, but honestly, I thought it sounded hilarious.  I think it's just some crazy rumor some royal made up.  I'd forgotten all about it until this minute.  I don't think there's really any plan the two of them have put in place, just some silly story a couple of high school guys made up."

"Isn't there?” Christian asked, ”Rose knows. Rose has known for a while about this. She even talked to the queen about it."

"That's ridiculous," Adrian replied, looking over at me for a denial that wouldn’t come. "Right?"

_Oh, Shit._ "Well …" I started to say, "Yes and no."

Christian eyed Adrian with a look that could practically spew venom at him, but he wasn't about to take action with Lissa right there. 

"It doesn't matter," said Lissa, as she turned to Christian, "You're the one that I love and I'm not walking away from you."

"Something's wrong here," I said, shooting a meaningful look at Christian, "and we _all_ need to figure it out before Christian does something stupid."  The crowd had started to break up and disperse.

"What's wrong," said Christian, eyes pleading with Lissa after glancing angrily at Adrian, "is that they're trying to break us up, Lissa, and Rose knew about it."

 "Did you really?" Adrian had directed his question at me.

"Yeah, long story." I stopped looking at Adrian and then told Lissa and Christian, "Look, Adrian didn't have anything to do with this. Not intentionally. It was Tatiana's idea—and she hasn't even actually done anything yet. It's just her long-term plan—hers alone, not his."

Christian asked, "Then how did you know about it?"

"Because she told me—she was afraid that I was moving in on Adrian."  I could feel Lissa's shock coming through the bond.

Adrian asked me, "Really? Did you defend our love?"

I scoffed, "Adrian, for the last time, there is nothing between you and I." 

"My fondest wishǂ, little dhampir," Adrian replied, giving me a wink.

“Really, Adrian?” I asked.

"Rose, when did she tell you this?" asked Lissa.

"When we were at Court.  Just before the spa."

"You've been hiding this from me for that long, and you didn’t think it was worth telling me?  I thought we were best friends, Rose." anger flashed through the bond.  "Why didn't you tell me all this?"

"Because I didn't want you to worry.  With all that you've been going through from spirit, and with Victor's trial, you deserved some peace."

The feelings coming through the bond changed from anger to compassion.  Lissa replied, "Rose, what about what you've been going through?  I just don't understand why you didn't feel like you could confide in me."

Lissa stared at me and I could feel through the bond that she was noticing something hadn't been right with me in a while.  It hit me that I've been doing the same thing with what I know about Anna - and doing the same thing with everything that had happened with Dimitri.  I wanted to tell her - badly -, but I wasn't sure I was ready.  "Liss ... I just wasn't sure I could yet.  I don't want to put this all on you.  Could you give me some time and we'll talk?  Maybe tomorrow?"

Lissa walked over to me and looked me in the eye.  "Take all the time you need.  Just promise me you'll tell me when you're ready."

"I promise," I told her and she hugged me.  Feeling like a weight was beginning to lift off of my shoulders, I couldn't help but smile.

 

* * *

 

The cafeteria was closing up shop by the time I actually settled in to get some food.  After I scrounged together what food I could still find, which turned out to be a couple bags of potato chips and a bottle of chocolate milk, I headed back towards my dorm.  As I was walking, I spotted Dimitri going across campus.

"Hey," I called to him, as I walked up to him, "Are you on duty right now?"

"No," he replied, "I was just on my way to the gym." He began walking again, and I followed in the direction he was going.

"Can we talk for a minute?" I asked, almost running to keep up with his long strides, "About what happened earlier during the attack?"

"Nothing happened," he said.

"I saw that look in your eyes," I said, "when I pinned you. You know something did."

"It doesn't matter, Rose," he replied flatly.

I moved in front of Dimitri and faced him. "Why not?" I asked.

"Because it can't be," he replied.

"Because I'm underage?  Because you're my mentor?  Those things won't last forever.  I'll be eighteen in less than two weeks, and I'll be graduating soon.  They won't last."

Dimitri said, "It's not just that. Roza, all I can give you is disgrace. I can't give you the life you deserve.  Or the one you want."

That did it.  I was angry now. "Dimitri, who are you to tell me what I want? Shouldn't that decision be left up to me?  I - " I suddenly stopped. Dimitri stopped immediately and gave me a puzzled look.  There, in front of my eyes, Mason appeared.  He looked the same as he had since I started seeing him again, almost.  The despair I had seen was still present, but there was something else that I couldn’t figure out.  It might’ve been anxiety or annoyance, but it almost seemed like terror.  That didn’t make sense, though - how could a ghost be afraid?

Dimitri asked me, "What's wrong?"

"Do you see him?" I pointed to Mason’s pearly, glowing, transparent form.

"See who?"  Dimitri looked, but it was clear he saw nothing.

"Mason,"  I replied.  Mason was getting more agitated.  I still couldn’t determine what was wrong, but I knew that this was serious.  I could also tell Dimitri still wasn't on board with me seeing ghosts.  Mason’s lips were moving - almost like he was trying to talk to me.  There was something important he needed to tell me, but he didn’t have a way to do it.

"What? What is it?”  I asked him.  He was getting frustrated.  He pointed towards the northwest.

I was getting frustrated, too, but I didn’t know what to do about it.  I said, “Tell me."  Dimitri kept glancing between me and the space where Mason was standing, though I was pretty sure he couldn’t actually see Mason standing there.  I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew it was important. 

Mason was moving his mouth, opening and closing.  I could tell that he really wanted to speak to me, but there weren’t any words coming out.  It felt excruciating watching him keep trying, but then, the impossible happened.  The words were so quiet I almost didn’t hear him: "They're … coming…."

"Who?  Who are coming?"  I could tell from the time between his words and the time it took him to reply that it was taking him some effort.  He made some strange hand gestures where he put each index finger on one side of his mouth pointed down, but I was clueless and just shook my head. 

Finally, he moved his mouth again and no words came out.  He tried a second time and said, "Strigoi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ǂ = Borrowed this line-usage from Kresley Cole’s Poison Princess


	2. The Strigoi Attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Strigoi invasion of campus, with better preparation, and then the counter-attack against the Strigoi in the caves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As before, any original text borrowed from Richelle Mead is underlined. I feel like there are a lot of repeating things she already said in these few opening sections, but - trust me - I have big plans to take this in a different direction. In the mean time, look for the minor differences. Wherever possible, if the text is absolutely the same, or matches 99% with clearly understandable changes, I've tried to just reference a quick summary instead of just parroting the maestra.  
> I'm still planning to add some more to this chapter and get us past the whole battle before continuing, but I wanted to put this out there before I get cold feet about the whole thing.  
>  **UPDATED 2019-04-07 - I'm still working on removing some of the original Mead text, so I will likely update this chapter again**

Everything was quiet, moreso than usual.  I couldn’t hear birds or crickets chirping, or even the sound of wind moving through the trees.  Mason’s terrified eyes met mine, pleading with me. 

"Dimitri, there are Strig-"  I looked at Dimitri and saw that he had gone paler than I had ever seen him before.

"I know ... I don't know how, but I heard him," Dimitri replied.

"Mason," I asked, "which way?"  He pointed to the far side of campus, in the direction of the guardian outpost cabin.  "How much time do we have?”  He shot me an exasperated look that let me know I’d have to make it easier on him to communicate.  I asked, “Do we have hours?" He shook his head. "Minutes?" _Please, not seconds._ Mason nodded - we had minutes.  "How many?" Mason held up a two, then formed his hand into an O.  "Twenty minutes?" I asked.  He nodded.

"We have twenty minutes.  They're coming from that edge of campus," I pointed in the direction Mason had pointed, "back towards that pond by the old cabin Tasha Ozera stayed in."

"Rose. Listen to me. Run. Run as fast and as hard as you can back to your dorm. Tell the guardians about the attack and where to find them."  I could only nod.  There wasn’t time to question and we both knew that he knew what to do.  He grabbed my upper arm tightly and looked into my eyes.  "Do not stop.  No matter what you hear, no matter what you see, do not stop. Not until you've warned the others. Don't stop unless you're directly confronted. Do you understand?"

I nodded again. He let go of my arm.

"Tell them buria."

* * *

**Notice a few key pieces from the original story that I omitted in the above, due to the time difference and the lack of the element of surprise. The good guys weren't on the run yet, and there was time to mount a better defense.**

**From here, the attack would be nearly identical to the original text, except that Dimitri is far better prepared and other guardians have a chance to make it there to aid him before the Strigoi appear.  Rose runs to alert the other guardians and the whole campus is placed under lockdown.  Rose ends up escaping a second-floor window, finding Christian, and working together with him to bring down several of the attacking Strigoi. Rose gets that horrible nauseous feeling every time a Strigoi gets near.  At the end of the fight, Dimitri finds Rose and Christian fighting together, having taken down more than their share of the invaders.  Dimitri congratulates them on a job well done, but tells them that the Strigoi managed to kill some people and take some prisoners.**

* * *

 

They’d taken some people away, treating them like portable juice boxes for snacking on during the trip back, or to-go food orders for the big bosses in power.  It was an appalling thought, even if it was not unheard of for this to happen when Strigoi attacked.  Some of them would even bring back a person to turn Strigoi, which was even worse.

No matter why, there was hope that some of the people they took were still alive.  Once we’d found and secured ‘safe zones’ where we’d _officially_ confirmed that the Strigoi had cleared out, all of the students and the remaining adult Moroi on campus were grouped together there.  The promised guardians, meanwhile, went to survey the aftermath.  I felt like I should’ve been a part of the fight, but I was forbidden, told that I was done with my part.

It still blew me away that this had happened.  It felt like the academies and Court were the places that were made to be safe - the _reason_ that we were sent away from our families as kids.  Now, that didn’t feel so accurate.

Finding out how many had been captured or killed took hours and those hours moved slower than any of the time before that.The numbers were bad, but not as bad as they could've been.  The early warning gave us time to prepare.  When the Strigoi breached the wards, there was a fleet of guardians waiting to take them on, and most of the students and adult Moroi roaming campus were able to be directed inside buildings under the lockdown where they could be kept safe.  In total, only four Moroi had been killed, along with five guardians.  Three Moroi and four more guardians had been taken away.

From the numbers we’d seen and the attacks we’d experienced, the school’s guardians figured that there must have been between fifty or sixty Strigoi, total.  We’d found forty-two Strigoi bodies, so we killed the majority of them, but maybe as many as twenty more escaped, taking the seven captives with them.  Given the number of Strigoi we’d faced all in one night, even though things definitely didn’t have a happy ending, we’d fared far better than would have ever been expected.  Mason’s advance warning was part of what helped us.  The Strigoi hadn’t gotten on school grounds yet when the guardians were alerted, so we’d had the time to prepare.  We’d all gone into lockdown as soon as I gave Stan the warning.  Since it was already after curfew when the Strigoi had come, most of the campus was already indoors for the night, also. All of the Moroi victims—dead _or_ taken—were those who had been either teachers or students violating curfew, those that were out in the open when the Strigoi came.

The attacking Strigoi never made it into any of the dorms, but even one life lost felt like too many.  I was at my breaking point and felt like I couldn't take anymore, but there I sat in the cafeteria, eating. The campus had reverted to a daylight schedule, so my timing was completely off.  Students were only allowed to leave dorms for meals.  A guardian meeting was planned to be held later and - surprisingly - I had been invited to it.

"There were seven people taken," I said, "Seven. We should've saved them. We should still save them."

"They're as good as dead," said Christian.  All of the anger I'd been feeling welled up inside me.  If I knew I could do it, I wanted to go kill them all. 

Lissa asked me, "What's wrong?"

I couldn’t believe she would ask me that. "What's wrong? What's wrong? Do you seriously have to ask that?"  I had said that louder than I meant to.  People were looking at me.

Adrian spoke, full of serenity, “Rose, you know what she means.  We’re all upset.  Sit back down.  It’s going to be okay.”

At first, I started to sit.  Then, I realized.  Compulsion  I shot Adrian a look that could kill.

“It is not going to be okay,” I said, “not unless we do something about this.”

Lissa wasn’t talking yet.  I could feel through the bond that she was upset that I’d lost my temper with her.  Christian, however, said, “There’s nothing to be done.”

Standing to walk away, I replied, “We'll see about that,"

At that, Lissa finally found her voice.  She called out, “Rose, wait.”  Part of that was worry for me, but she was also scared for herself.  She wanted me to stay with her, where she could see me, for both our sakes.  But I couldn't stay, not right now.

* * *

 

**So far, the only major difference is that Eddie wasn’t taken prisoner.  This is going to play a big role in what’s to come.**

**From here, Rose would go to the guardian building and run into her mother while looking for Dimitri and have the same conversation with Janine as in the books, just with a different count of the people, and then go to find Dimitri.  After she found Dimitri, she convinced him that they could launch a rescue mission for the missing captives if she could get the Strigoi’s location from Mason out by the front gates.**   **Rose and Dimitri go to the gates to meet with Mason and get the guardians to open them. Mason points to the map and tells them where to find the Strigoi.  Dimitri tells Rose that the guardians say that there are caves there and that they are only five miles away.  They present their ideas to the guardian meeting and Rose's mother convinces them to allow senior novices and adult Moroi to join the fight.  Dimitri asks Rose to go for a walk to calm her down.  At first, they walk past the pond and Rose explains how she knew from the Mână discussion Lissa was a part of that was where the wards were broken.**

* * *

Once we were far enough away from the buildings, Dimitri turned to me.  "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked.

"Take your pick," he replied, "Not believing you about seeing Mason, any of the times when I didn't treat you like an adult ... you deserve my respect, Roza.  And my trust.  I want you to know that you have that now."

I was so stunned that I was completely speechless, amazed at the wonderful warm feelings I had from what Dimitri was saying. After a few moments, he continued. "I know I can't stop you, but I don't want you to fight today."

There went that good feeling.  My voice rose about 10 octaves. "What?  Why?"

"I don't think my mind will be on the battle.  I'll be too worried about you, focused on keeping you safe instead of fighting.  I want to come back from this," Dimitri looked around, turned to face me, and then took my hand, "And I want to come back to you."

It was a lot to think about.  Did I want to fight?  Absolutely.  Did I want Dimitri to fight?  Without a question.  But was I willing to sit it out if it meant he wouldn't come back otherwise? 

"I'll think about it," I said, finally, "But don't you think, after last night, that I could hold my own in a fight?  Don't you know that I'm capable?"

"Roza," God, it thrilled me when he used my name like that, "it's not about that.  Everyone gets caught by surprise.  Do I want my focus to be offensive or defensive?  I can tell you right now that if you're there with me, I won't be on the attack with them.  After Spokane, I know you probably could, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm going to worry."

"Then, how are you supposed to fight Strigoi with me later on?  What do you expect to happen when we're both guarding Lissa together?"

"We can't," he said, "I won't."

"We can't what?" I asked.

"We can't be guarding partners like that.  After graduation, I have to distance myself.  I'm going to apply to stay at the academy.  I can't be around you anymore."  I tried to keep my mouth from hitting the ground as Dimitri began to walk away.

"You can't stop me from fighting this afternoon," I called out to him, "I'm stronger than you think I am.  And I don't need your help." I followed him back, taking the rest of our walk in silence, feeling the frustration and anger build in me.

As I walked, I could feel some tingling come through the bond and knew that Lissa was using her magic, but I just didn't care anymore.  Let the rage build up in me.  I want to kick some ass tonight.

* * *

**The first part of the battle commences pretty much the way Richelle Mead wrote it.  Everyone is divided up into 4 groups, consisting of 2 groups of guardians and novices on each side of the cave at the outside and 2 groups of guardians and fire users going in each end of the cave.  The groups are slightly larger because of fewer losses. Eddie is in Rose's group of novices. Dimitri, Alberta, and Rose's mother went in on the opposite (closer to St. Vladimir's) side of the cave than the one Rose is on.  The whole walk over to the caves, Dimitri is glancing over at Rose - and she is looking back at him with anger.  Once the teams were in the cave, hostages started coming out.  The 4 hostages that came out this end were directed back to the school with 3 of the novices.  Eventually, Alberta made the call into the headset that reinforcements were needed, so Emil made the call that Stephen, Rose, and Eddie be sent in to the cave, while Emil and Shane remain outside.  When Rose is finally sent into the caves with Stephen and Eddie, she finds a cave-in happened, blocking the route to the other side.**

* * *

Ten guardians were trapped with eight Strigoi on the other side of the cave-in.  Dimitri and Alberta were among them.  I couldn’t see any Moroi fire users, but there were definitely flashes of fire on the other side.  A handful of bodies were strewn across the floor, at least four of which were Strigoi.  The opening was small and someone would have to get low to the ground to get through, leaving them in danger of attack.  The Strigoi needed to be eliminated before anyone could come through the cave-in.  The three of us would help to make that a more fair fight.  We got the jump on a few, but others saw us coming, one each diving for Stephen, Eddie, and me.

I was ready to fight and I could feel the darkness working in my favor, fueling my fight with anger. My size worked to my advantage in the close quarters because I could move more freely than the Strigoi.  He couldn’t get away and I was able to dodge most of his hits.  I got my head slammed up against the wall, but it didn’t hurt.  I got in a couple of good hits and then managed to stake him before he could try to hit me again.  I pulled my stake away and went immediately to Eddie’s aid, but before I could even get to him, both Stephen and Eddie had each taken out their own opponents.

The guardians who were trapped took out a couple of the remaining Strigoi and then there were only four Strigoi left. Stephen and I worked together to take down one more.  He was older - and therefore more powerful - than the others, so even two against one, he was difficult to kill, but we managed.  Once there were fewer Strigoi, it was easier to finish off the remaining few.  The trapped guardians were getting free and could now help us.  Anxious to do my part, I lashed out with my stake at the back of one of the Strigoi closest to me who was fighting with Eddie.  It's not even all that likely to hit a Strigoi's heart with the stake when trying to stake from the back, but I had to try, and I immediately hit her heart.  Once there were only a few left, Alberta told us to make our escape.  We had them surrounded and three of the trapped guardians made their way out the way we had come in.  Stephen, meanwhile, crawled through the hole to the other side. Dimitri staked one of the two Strigoi. One left. Stephen stuck his head back in and shouted something to Alberta that I couldn't quite make out. She yelled something back without looking at him. She, Dimitri, and two others were closing in on the last Strigoi.

"Rose.  Eddie," yelled Stephen, beckoning.

Follow orders. That's what we did. I left the fray, scrambling through the hole more easily than Stephen had, thanks to my smaller size. Eddie and another guardian immediately followed after me. No one was on this side of cave-in. The fight had either ended or moved on. Bodies showed that things had been intense, however. I saw more Strigoi and a guardian that I didn't know. I hastily looked away toward Stephen, who was helping another guardian through the hole. Alberta came next.

"They're dead," she called. "It sounds like there are a few more blocking the retreat down here. Let's finish this before the sun comes up." Dimitri came last of all through the gap. He and I exchanged brief glances - his looking relieved, irritated, and maybe slightly proud, mine trying to convey the anger that I felt that he couldn't have faith in me to handle this. Then we were on the move. This was the long part of the tunnel, and we hurried down it, anxious to get our remaining people out. At first, we encountered nothing, and then flashes of light indicated a fight up ahead. Ms. Carmack and my mother were fighting three Strigoi. My group closed in, and in seconds, the Strigoi were down.

"That's it for this group," my mother gasped out. I was grateful to see her alive too. "But I think there are more here than we thought. I think they left some behind when they went to attack the school. We haven't lost many, but we lost a few.  The rest of our people—that survived—have already made it out."

"There are other branches in the cave," said Alberta. "Strigoi could be hiding in there."

My mother agreed. "They could be. Some know they're overwhelmed and are just going to wait us out and escape later. Others may come after us."

"What do we do?" asked Stephen. "Finish them off? Or retreat?" We turned to Alberta. She made a quick decision. "We retreat. We got as many as we could, and the sun is dropping. We need to get back behind the wards." We took off, so close to victory, fueled by the disappearing light. Dimitri and Eddie were both beside me as we moved.

"I remember this curve," my mother said as we rounded a corner. "It's not much farther. We should see light soon." Thus far, we were only guided by the jacket lights. I felt the nausea only a split second before they attacked. At a T intersection, seven Strigoi jumped us. They'd let the earlier party escape, but they'd been lying in wait for us, three on one side and four on the other. One guardian, Alan, never saw it coming. A Strigoi grabbed him and snapped Alan's neck so quickly that it looked effortless. It probably was. It was such a mirror to what had happened to Mason that I nearly came a standstill.

* * *

**Just skipping ahead a few paragraphs of redundant stuff that we've already read here ... (ha, ha, ha)**

* * *

But not close enough. Three Strigoi lay in wait in one of the alcoves. We'd passed them, but they'd let us go by. It all happened so fast; no one could have reacted in time. One of the Strigoi grabbed Celeste, his mouth and fangs going for her cheek. I heard a strangled scream and saw blood everywhere. One of the Strigoi went for Ms. Carmack, but my mother jerked her away and shoved her forward toward us.

The third Strigoi grabbed Eddie.  It was the blond Strigoi I had seen earlier on campus.  The one who had spoken to me in the battle.  My mind immediately flashed back to Mason.  I couldn't protect him.  I couldn't let that happen again with Eddie.  I wouldn't let myself lose any friends today.  He grabbed Eddie and pulled him to the ground.  I had a clean shot at this Strigoi's back, but he was so far.  Could I reach him before Eddie was down? Could I make a second stake in the back work?  I did it once today; could I do it again?

I stabbed out at his back and the Strigoi yelled out so much that it was almost like a growl, but I didn't hit his heart.  Instead, he whipped around and started coming towards me.  Eddie appeared to be laying unconscious on the ground behind him, but I hoped still alive.  I didn't have time to worry about him right now, though.  I had to act fast.  The Strigoi was stronger than he looked for a former Moroi who didn't appear to be that old.  He gripped my upper arms, and tried to pin me to the wall, slamming the stake out of my hands.  He prepared to sink his fangs into my neck, but at the last moment, I was able to connect and head-butt him in the forehead, quickly bringing my knee up to his groin.  It might be dirty fighting to kick a guy there, but when it is life or death with a Strigoi, nothing is off the table.

The Strigoi doubled over for just a moment, then looked at me with his red-rimmed eyes full of fury and began coming back to fight me again.  I saw where my stake had fallen, but I wasn't sure I could get to it.  I punched him as hard as I could, but he smashed my head against the wall.  Everything started going blurry and black around me and the Strigoi picked up by my arms again, preparing to sink his teeth in. 

In an instant, the Strigoi was dropping me and we both crumbled to the ground.  As I fell, I saw in my blurred vision that there was Dimitri behind the Strigoi, with his stake sticking out of the Strigoi's back.

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I was out for, but I woke up in the med clinic with Dr. Olendzki and Lissa looking over me, feeling that cold and hot that I was beginning to associate with spirit healing running over me. 

"Rose," she said, "finally, you've come back to us.  It appears that you had a very mild concussion, but you're going to be just fine.  Princess Vasilisa has been healing you."

"What happened?" I asked.

"Guardian Belikov carried you all the way back here from the cave," said the doctor, "You owe him your life."  I knew he would be fine, but it surprised me how much of a relief that was to hear that Dimitri was alright.

"What about everyone else?" I asked.  "Did Eddie make it out?"

"See for yourself," Eddie said from the next bed over.  I couldn't help but smile.

"Rose, you don't need to stay here any longer, if you're ready to leave.  It's almost curfew, now that we're on daytime hours."

"Thanks," I said, "I think I'd like to go home and rest, anyways."  I got up off of the exam table and asked, "Wait - where's Dimitri?" I asked.

"He couldn't stay," said Lissa, "He had a couple of guardians' meetings to debrief, and then he was supposed to do a security shift."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who haven't read gigi256's **_AMAZING_** take on Dimitri's POV of the entire VA book series ( https://archiveofourown.org/series/273894 ), she always does a really great "Question of the Week" at the end of her chapters and I just love that idea, so (I hope she doesn't mind) I thought I'd borrow it.  
> My question of the week is, if you were to imagine that Vampire Academy had never been made into a movie, who would you cast?  
> Personally, I liked the movie and I love Zoey Deutch as an actress, but after reading the book (I'm a 'see the movie first' kind of gal), I always felt like Rose was mis-cast as a little too caucasian. Maybe if she was younger and could do the action sequences, Mila Kunis would have been a great Rose, but also possibly Sarah Hyland could have been cast as Rose instead of Natalie, just based on appearance, and Danila Koslovsky, while truly authentic in the Russian accent, lacks some of the sex appeal I would expect for Dimitri. Since he might be getting a little too old to be playing a 24-year-old now, I was thinking maybe Gregg Sulkin, if he could grow out his hair and talk with the Russian accent. I'm also not at all sure why the movie version of Lissa had a British accent - that was just puzzling!


	3. Coming to Terms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Strigoi attack, Rose deals with the aftermath and dreams of what could be with Dimitri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the start of that heat we've earned our Mature rating for, folks! Explicit content not suitable for younger readers ahead.

The dream started out the same as it always did, except for a nagging feeling I just couldn't shake in the back of my mind.  

There I was in my black dress, heading up to the staff wing of the dorms.  I didn't know how, but I was drawn to that door and began to hit it over and over again.

There he was, opening the door, shirtless and amazing, in his pajama pants, with his hair slightly damp.  He looked good.  He smelled good.  Oh, how I wanted to touch him. 

"Let me in," I said, "It's Lissa."  He opened the door and let me in.

I knew it wouldn't work because I had tried so many times before, but I leaned in to kiss his beautiful chest, as he ducked backwards away from me.

"Are you drunk?" he asked me.  It all seemed so repetitive.  I just wanted to get past this part.

"Don't I wish.  I thought you wanted to - don't you think I'm pretty?" I asked.

"Rose, I don't know what's going on, but you need to go back to your room."

I moved towards Dimitri and he grabbed my wrists, igniting that flame in his eyes.  He moved his hands to my arms, pulled me to him, leaned in, and kissed me for the first time, feeling that soft warmness of his lips meeting mine, for just an instant.

"Do you think I'm pretty?" I asked again.

Dimitri looked in my eyes and said, "I think you're beautiful."

A thrill washed over me.  I could hardly believe his words.  "Beautiful?"

"You are so beautiful it hurts me sometimes."

His lips came back to kiss me again, removing that black dress, as he had done in my dreams so many times before, in one smooth movement.

"You got rid of that dress fast.  I thought you liked it?"

"I do like it.  I love it."

Dimitri's lips returned to mine as his arms circled my bare waist.  I felt his hands on my spine pulling my body flush against his.  The feeling of his chest muscles against my stomach, skin to skin, was so astounding that I gasped. 

He backed away just enough to see my face and ask,  "Are you okay?" It was barely a whisper from how close he was.  Just hearing his sexy voice like this and feeling so close to him was so incredible.

"Yes," I could barely find my voice, "Very much so." I leaned back in to continue kissing him.  Dimitri carried me over to the bed and laid me down, all without breaking that wonderful kiss.  I felt his hands moving up to the middle of my back and unfastening the strapless bra I was wearing.  I let out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding when he slid it off of me and it dropped to the bed.  As he leaned back to look at me, I had a moment of nervousness. It was the first time - the only time - a man had seen me topless.  My nerves were rewarded by the look of utter entrancement he gave me as he looked down.

Dimitri wrapped one hand in my hair at the base of my neck and leaned back in to kiss first my ear, then my neck.  As I felt his hand gliding from where it had been on the side of my hip up to my stomach, I heard him murmuring my name in Russian over and over again, warmth and electricity coursing all over my body. 

His hand and lips began to move towards each other.  I was nearly panting as his fingers made contact with the underside of my breast, but even more so when his lips started working their way towards my nipple.  As his lips drifted up onto the softer, pinker skin, he parted them, letting his tongue trail across me, and I couldn't help but let out a moan.  When he heard my moan, Dimitri looked up at me and smirked, like I had just earned some kind of reward, then took my whole nipple into his mouth and sucked gently, causing a shiver to pass up my entire body and making me moan again, much louder than the first. 

"Oh, Dimitri," I moaned, feeling his mouth licking and teasing at me.  The whole time, I couldn't stop letting my hands explore his back and chest.  His skin felt so warm and smooth, his muscles so strong.

After a few moments of making me moan like that, he moved his fingers on his right hand to my nipple, rubbing and gently squeezing, and began trailing kisses back up to my mouth.  As his lips met mine, I greedily took him in, drinking in his kiss as deeply as I could. In between kisses, he would say my name again and again.

Before I even realized what was happening, both hands had slid down to my hips and inside the waistband of my panties.  Dimitri leaned back again, a question in his eyes.  I smiled, not needing words to tell him the answer was yes.  "Roza," he murmured again, leaning in to kiss my neck and earlobe, "Oh Roza."  Every time he said my name, everything just increased.  I wanted him so, so badly.  His hands continued, sliding my panties down my thighs, around my calves and ankles, and then tossing them off onto the floor. 

I was breathless as I laid there naked beneath him.  He admired me for another moment, then leaned back in to kiss me.  As the kiss resumed, Dimitri captured my breast in one hand as his fingers of the other slowly snaked their way up my inner thigh.  As his fingers grazed against my folds for the first time, I let out a loud, moan.  To my surprise, he did, too.

Though he kept his pajama pants on, I could feel the heat of him beside me, the hardness. I could feel how much he wanted me, too.  

He slowly let a finger slide against my opening, just for a moment, and then edged slightly inside.  I let out another moan, unable to hold back now.  "Oh, Dimitri!" I cried.

Dimitri rolled both of our bodies over and I found myself on top of him.  I saw the six molnija marks, touched the back of his neck, and asked the question I knew I would ask, "Did you really kill six Strigoi?"  His nod was the same as always.  "Wow," came my response, still amazed, but I had heard this so many times before that I wanted to be past this part of the conversation.

His lips grazed my neck in a way that felt almost electric, running his fingers against my opening again, which felt even more electric. "Don't worry. You'll have a lot more than me someday."

"Do you feel guilty about it?"

"Hmm?"

"Killing them. You said in the van that it was the right thing to do, but it still bothers you. It's why you go to church, isn't it? I see you there, but you aren't really into the services."

He smiled that smile again. "How do you know these things? I'm not guilty exactly…just sad sometimes. All of them used to be human or dhampir or Moroi. It's a waste, that's all, but as I said before, it's something I have to do. Something we all have to do. Sometimes it bothers me, and the chapel is a good place to think about those kinds of things. Sometimes I find peace there, but not often. I find more peace with you."

He rolled me off of him and moved on top of me again. The kissing picked up once more, harder this time. More urgent.  Fingers probing more deeply between my legs. Oh God, I thought. I'm finally going to do it. This is it. I can feel it.

He must have seen the decision in my eyes. Here it was.  Smiling, he slid his hands behind my neck and unfastened Victor's necklace.

"Stop!" I cried, half-way between a sob and a scream, "Don't take the necklace off!  Please!"

Dimitri's gaze met my own, an irritated question in his eyes. "And why not?" he asked.

"Because you won't want me anymore. Just, please, _please_ , stay with me.  Leave it on.  Please," Okay, that one was definitely more of a sob than a scream.  A tear leaked out of the corner of my eye.  "Please.  I'm in love with you."

All of a sudden, Dimitri disappeared and I was left there in his bed, naked and alone.  I pulled up the covers around me, then heard a voice saying, "Well, that part's new."

With a gasp, I realized that I recognized the voice, "Adrian?!? Are you seriously dream-walking into my _sex dreams_ now?"

"Little dhampir, I'd hardly call it 'sex' if you don't have any penetration, but I was certainly enjoying the show.  I do have to admit, though, it was different this time."

"What are you talking about? This is always the way this dream plays out.  Except for the part where Dimitri just vanished into thin air.  And I don't think you've ever eavesdropped so invasively on my dreams before."

"Vanished? That's because _I_ took him away.  And I _haven't_ eavesdropped on this particular dream of _yours_ before.  Because  _you're_ not the only one who's had this dream," he said. 

He took a moment for me to digest his words until my eyes lit up with understanding.  " _He_ has this dream; doesn't he?"

"Often," Adrian replied.  "But you never tell him that you love him.  He never tries to take off the necklace, either." I sat in stunned silence for a moment, realizing what that might mean.

"Why, pray tell, does Dimitri have the same dream as you?" Adrian asked, "What. The Actual. Fuck?  This happened - didn't it?"

Shame filled my face as I admitted, pulling the covers tighter over my nakedness, "Yes ...  you saw Victor Dashkov's trial.  That was the charmed necklace.  It wasn't really an attack charm; it was a lust charm."

"Interesting..." Adrian replied.  I felt dirty, like he was trying to mentally undress me of those blankets.  "Has anything happened since then?"

"Why should I tell you that?" I asked.

"Because you need to report it if he is taking advantage of his student like that," he said, "I won't let him take advantage of you, little dhampir."

"You saw more than I would've liked you to see - lots more. You saw what I saw, Adrian.  You know he wasn't taking advantage."

"Do I?  It looked to me like you never gave verbal consent there for him to take off your clothes, or touch you in any of the ... many ... _ever_ -so-wonderful places ... he chose to touch you."

The way Adrian said it made my skin crawl, but I felt the need to tell the truth, if only to protect Dimitri.  "No," I said firmly, "I wanted him to, but nothing else happened.  Nothing will _ever_ happen."

"Are you sure?" he asked, though sounding mollified. 

"He doesn't want me like that," I said, "Not while he's awake, at least.  It doesn't matter how I feel about him."

"His dreams say a different story."

A thought occurred to me.  "Adrian, how many times have you seen this dream?"

"Ten? Twenty? He dreams it a lot."  Adrian paused.  "Actually, come to think about it, most of his dreams are about you.  Not all of them are as fun as this one, though.  This afternoon, they were all depressing ones about the caves.  He kept picturing different ways of you dying."

"So what happens now?  Are you going to report this?" I asked. "You know it was just the lust charm on that necklace that made it happen."

"Little dhampir, tell me the truth: how do you feel about him?" his eyes were filled with understanding, but I could tell he would settle for nothing less than the truth.

"I'm completely in love with Dimitri," I said.

Adrian looked as though he had taken a punch to the stomach, but said, "Then I won't stand in your way. If his dreams tell me anything, I am pretty sure he loves you, too."  

The dream ended abruptly and I sat up in my bed in my dorm room.  I looked over at the clock. Just a few minutes after two o'clock.  Dimitri's security shift would have just gotten over.

I knew I had to talk to him.  I got out of the bed, not knowing how I was going to get there or what I was going to do when I got there. The entire campus was still on daylight hours and only guardians were allowed to be patrolling the area after dark. 

I went over to my closet and pulled out my guardian dress uniform that I'd gotten during the trial.  I looked it over.  It was a little wrinkled, there was a stain on one of the lapels, and I managed to shrink it a little when I tried to wash it, but it would still work.  I put it on, taking a minute to swap out my normal black bra for a snug white lace one to minimize the buttons pulling apart at the chest. 

I started to put up my hair, like I had in the Dashkov trial, when I realized that none of the few female promised guardians on campus that I'd seen had long hair.  I would have to hide it.  I pulled the jacket off and tucked my hair into the back.  It would be too warm and maybe a little uncomfortable, but it would be good enough to get me in and out of the building without attracting any notice.

The hallways and campus were completely clear, with the exception of one guardian I saw patrolling a couple of hundred yards away from me. Since we were currently on human time, the cover of darkness made me harder to identify.  I ventured over to the staff wing of the dorms, going right to the same door I had gone to in my dreams a hundred times. 

I knocked once.  I waited a moment.  No answer. 

I knocked again, a few more times and louder.  I gave it a couple more seconds.  I was starting to sweat in the layers of long sleeves with my hair tucked in. "Shit," I said to myself, "He's not here."  I started to turn around, when the door opened a crack and Dimitri poked his head out, hair even more wet than I had seen it the last time I was here.

"You?" he exclaimed.

"We need to talk," I said, "Now."

"You're not supposed to be here.  For a lot of reasons.  And it's not the best time."

"Tough, Comrade, I have to talk to you now.  Now, let me in before I get caught out here," I said.  Dimitri opened up the door and I stood there stunned for a moment.  He was wearing nothing but a towel, trails of water still dripping down his exquisite, chiseled chest.  I looked at him, wanting nothing more than to kiss away those beautiful drips of water and pull off that towel.

"Well?" he asked, "You said you had to come in, so come in, before you get us _both_ in a lot of trouble."  

I shook off whatever I was thinking, walked in to his apartment, and immediately took off the jacket, letting my hair out and getting rid of the extra layer.  Dimitri pulled out a desk chair for me and went into the kitchenette to stand behind the counter.  I couldn't bring myself to sit down, but I placed the jacket on the back of the chair and took a moment to stretch the kinks out of my back.

"Is this real?  Or is this a dream?" Dimitri asked, eyes falling to the puckering gap in the front of my shirt buttons.  I felt myself blushing a little as I saw where his eyes had gone, but tried to ignore it.

"Aaannndd, that is part of what we need to talk about," I began, "I had an interesting little talk with Adrian Ivashkov about you and your dreams tonight."

Dimitri's face suddenly turned horrified, "What did he tell you?"

"We'll get to that in a minute.  But first, we need to talk about you not wanting me to fight today."

Dimitri's reasonable mask dropped to reveal sternness. "Rose, what you did was reckless; swooping in to save Castile like that."

I shot back at him, "And if I hadn't, he'd be dead right now.  Or worse."

"I can't have you risking yourself like that, Rose."

"I'm sorry if you don't think I'm good enough," I said, "I try so hard to prove myself to you!  Why do I even bother?"

"Rose, it's not that you're not good enough.  You just take risks.  Too many risks.  I can't be around when you're doing that."

"Because I'm going to get us both killed?" I asked, "That's why you don't want to be my partner guarding Lissa, right?"

"No, Rose, it's not that."

"Then what?"

"I don't want to see you die," Dimitri replied, "I can't watch you die."

Shocked, I blurted out, "That was one of the things Adrian told me you dreamt about."

"What else did he say?"

I closed my eyes, swallowed, and then pushed forward, saying, "That you were having the same dream I was.  A lot."

"Oh?" he asked, switching from stern to that same stoic face he always makes when he is trying to hide his feelings.

"Except mine was different. Because I told you that I'm in love with you and begged and pleaded with you not to take the necklace off."  

Dimitri's audible intake of breath was so swift that it almost caught me off guard.  "Rose, what are you saying?"

"I know it's wrong," I said, "I know there are so many reasons we shouldn't be together.  But I've never loved anyone the way that I feel about you."

"Roza, I can't give you the things you need.  I don't have money. I don't have influence. I don't even have time to spend with you.  If we were guarding together, we would either be near guard and far guard or trading off shifts. And I can't protect Lissa like you'd want me to if she's with you." Dimitri moved out of the kitchenette to stand in front of me.

"Dimitri, I said that I love you," I said, "I'm not hearing that you don't love me, too."

"Because I can't say that, Roza. But I can't be what you need."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of what I need, Dimitri?  Because right now, all I need is you."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question of the week: What is your typical preferred reading media - do you read physical books or electronic? If physical books, do you prefer hard-cover or paperbacks? If you have an e-reader, which one do you like best? And do you usually borrow or buy books?  
> Personally, I'm a _big_ fan of Google Play Books. I have Google Opinion Rewards, so I often get my books for free through them and I love the night mode feature that gradually eliminates the blue light from your screen as it gets later in the evening.


	4. Alone at Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter with some explicit content. Be advised.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of what I need, Dimitri?  Because right now, all I need is you."

Dimitri gripped my upper arms and looked into my eyes.  It was clear that he was searching my face for something, but I couldn't tell what.  Everything in me wanted nothing more than for him to just kiss me at that moment.  Until that moment, I hadn't _truly_ considered the downright carnal possibilities that existed by us being alone together in his apartment, despite the fact that he was standing in front of me practically naked in that towel.  My fingers itched to remove the towel and I desperately wanted him to remove my clothes, too.

He continued looking at me and I saw the warmth go out of his eyes. "There's a difference between a need and a want," he said, "You're just learning what you truly need out of life.  I can't be the one to provide you with those things.  No matter, what happened tonight in the caves can't happen again.  You almost died tonight, Roza.  If I hadn't been there, who says you wouldn't have?" Dimitri let go of my arms and turned away. "It was foolish and reckless.  If Vasilisa had been there, she would've died while I was saving you."

Hearing Dimitri mention Lissa was like a slap to the face. I couldn't let her down.  I couldn't let her die.  Still, I was haunted by his statement from early October, echoing in my mind: "If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." 

He just admitted he would have saved me instead of her.

Dimitri loved me!

I couldn't speak.  I couldn't think.  I took hold of Dimitri's arm and turned him back towards me.  I put my hand on the side of his face. "You love me," I said.  It wasn't a question, but there was a question in my eyes.

"Yes," he replied, sagging under the weight of his confession, "but I can't."

"Why not?" I asked.

"This life, Roza.  Look at it.  Even look around this apartment, for God's sake!  Really look!  There's no room for it," Dimitri said. I let my eyes wander the all-too-spartan room for a moment.  There was a twin bed, a wooden desk with one chair, a small kitchenette with a coffee maker and microwave, and a small dresser - all of which came with the room and would've been less than a typical hotel provided.  Other than the essential furniture that came with the room, a small bookcase with an assortment of western paperbacks and a few movies, and a tiny television sitting atop the dresser, the room was bare.

He continued, crestfallen, "We can't have a relationship.  We can't _love_ \- not really.  If we were to give in and be together now, what would it mean for your career if we were found out?  Do you think you'd still be able to be a guardian?  Do you think you'd be able to be Lissa's guardian?  Do you think _I_ would?"

"She'd be alone," I said, stunned.

"No, she wouldn't be alone," Dimitri replied, "She would have other guardians.  But she wouldn't have you."

"And she wouldn't have you, either."  The thought hit me for the first time, like a load of bricks.  I sat back into the chair Dimitri had pulled out for me earlier. Dimitri crossed over and sat on the bed, a few feet away, careful to keep the towel covering himself.  I turned my chair towards him.

"It doesn't change how I feel, you know?" I told him, looking up at his beautiful god-like face.

"I know," he said, "That's why I have to stay here when you leave."

"What about until then?" I asked.  I couldn't even dare myself to assume.

Dimitri gave a half-shrug.  "I don't know.  I hadn't planned on you figuring it out."

"And then we just never see each other again, after that?" My voice broke a little as I spoke.  I hated the idea of crying in front of him, but my heart was on the verge of breaking.

I could see the sympathy in Dimitri's eyes.  And something else, but I didn't know what. "I don't know ...  Guardian Petrov has stayed my request to continue on at the academy. It could be denied."

Dimitri paused for a moment.  "You and I, we've attracted some ... attention.  I've been hesitant to mention it to you, but a few people have noticed that we might be more to each other than just our roles as mentor and student."

I was stunned and afraid by his admission.  "Who?" I asked.

"No one who is going to say anything, as long as we don't let it get too far," he offered, " That's all you need to know.  One of the others came to me with an idea after the Strigoi attack was over."  Dimitri's chocolate eyes met mine, this time with a small glimmer of hope.  "With the field experience surprise attack yesterday, the way you aided in the Strigoi attack, and the lives you saved in the caves, you're pretty likely to be chosen as Vasilisa's guardian, as long as your final trials go well.  Court is a big place.  Though I'm assigned to be her guardian, too, right now, I could garner a few favors to get a different position at Court - it wouldn't be what I'd want for myself, but I could probably get someone to give me a desk job at guardian headquarters.  Guardians at Court have plenty of time off."

I released the breath I didn't even know I'd been holding.  I was astounded by the brilliance and the self-sacrifice of this gorgeous man in front of me. "Would you do that for me?" I asked.

"To truly be with you, without hurting you, there's almost nothing I wouldn't do," Dimitri replied, "but it wouldn't be instantaneous - and there'd still be a lot of obstacles.  We'd have to wait until we'd been at Court for a while, until there was no question that you got where you were on your own skill."  I nodded.

"And there's so much I can't provide you.  I don't have money.  I can't even really keep you safe.  I couldn't even get you into Victor Dashkov's stupid _grebanyy_  trial."  Damn him and his Russian cursing! I _still_ didn't know what that meant! "A lot depends on what Lissa does, also.  If she decided after a year that she didn't want to be at Court anymore, you would have to go with her, and I would be stuck at a desk job.  Is that really what you would want?  Could you truly be happy with that?" I took a moment to weigh what he was telling me.

"How long would we have to wait?" I asked, "To be together, I mean."

"Probably at least until the summer is over," he answered, "Maybe six months from now?"

"Would we still be able to see each other?"

"it wouldn't be that unexpected that you and I would train together, as we do now.  There are guardian gyms at Court."

I nodded, licked my lips, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and replied, "Then, yes.  Without a question.  If you're willing to make that much of a sacrifice, then absolutely.  I don't even know if I could be happy without you."

"We're in for a long wait.  Can you hold out for that long?"

"You're worth the wait."  I looked into his eyes, gauging his reaction.  Joy and relief flooded his features.

"What about now?" I asked.

Dimitri eyed me curiously.  "Now?"

I grew bolder than I thought possible.  "Tonight?  I'm here, alone with you, in your apartment.  No one knows I'm here.  All I want right now is to be kissing you."  Shivers ran up and down my spine at the possibility.

Dimitri asked, "If we give in to this now, are you sure we can wait six more months?  There can't even be a hint of anything romantic, publicly, until then." It was a legitimate question.  Patience was never my strong suit.

"Knowing what I know now, I'm not even sure I can wait six more _seconds_ to kiss you," I said, standing and moving to sit beside him on the bed, "but if we have to hide what we feel, I will.  I just want to be with you now.  Just for tonight."

Dimitri placed one hand on the side of my face and the other on the side of my hip, closing the distance between us so that our faces were almost touching, then stopped, a thought occurring to him. "What about Lissa? Are you going to tell her about this?"

His question caught me off guard.  Was I going to tell her?  I hadn't told her anything, thus far, but I promised her earlier that I would tell her everything. "I don't know," I replied, "I haven't told her anything about how I feel about you yet.  I would have to tell her eventually, but right now ... I'm not sure.  I don't know if I'm ready."

"I'm not sure I want you to, but I feel like, for your sake, you'll need to tell her - when the time is right," he said, "but it doesn't have to be now, if you're not ready."  Dimitri leaned in, brushed my hair back from my face, and touched my lips lightly to his, just letting me feel the warmth of them, and the warmth of his breath on my tongue, letting his hand move from the side of my face to my hair.

Dimitri stopped, letting our foreheads still touch, hand still wrapped in my hair, eyes closed.  "What about Adrian Ivashkov?" he asked, "After that dream, he knows; doesn't he?"

"All he knows is what I was dreaming.  He doesn't have to know anything else, but he did promise he wouldn't stand in our way," I replied, as I angled my lips back against Dimitri's and kissed him again.  The kiss was soft and warm, with none of the darkness and rage I had been feeling when I kissed him in the gym, and none of the meaningless lust I had felt the last time I kissed him on this bed.  This kiss was pure love, filled with warmth and adoration.

Dimitri pulled back from the kiss again, stopping abruptly, the light of a thought crossing his eyes.  "He loves you, too."

I eyed Dimitri, skeptically.  "What?" I asked.

"Ivashkov," he stated, more somber than I had seen him throughout all of the other topics of tonight, backing away from our kiss. "He loves you."

I scoffed, practically laughing out loud.  "No, I'm pretty sure that the way he feels about me is a different 'L' word that has four letters." I leaned back in to kiss him again, but he stopped me.

"No.  You didn't see him when you were in Spokane.  Or last week, when he came to me after he had to compel you to put the Conta girl down.  He has been worried about you.  He has been protecting you."

I searched Dimitri's eyes for where he was going with this. "Why does it matter?"

"Because, despite what he said, he's not going to let go without a fight.  And because he can give you what I can't," Dimitri said as he backed further away and stood, "Money, power, time, a chance to have an out-in-the-open relationship _today_  , not having to risk your life every day, a future with the potential for a family ... he can take care of you.  I can't take that away from you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I said, "Who says I even want to have a family?  And no matter what else he can give me, he can't give me you."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" 

I nodded. "Yes.  Why is that so hard for you to believe?" 

Before I even realized what was happening, Dimitri was back beside me on the bed, lips almost slamming into mine, kissing me, hands in my hair and leaning me back towards the pillow, angling his body so that he was laying over me.  My arms circled his waist as he began to deepen the kiss.  Once I was flat on the pillow, he moved his lips to kiss my cheek, along my jaw, my neck, and the sensitive spot along my ear.  "Roza," he murmured, "Roza, I love you."

Just hearing him say it was the most incredible thing.  "And I love you, Dimitri," I replied.  He kissed my neck, listening to my sighs.  My hands gripped at the firm, smooth muscles of his shoulders and back.  I felt the tickle of his wet hair against the base of my throat.  

Dimitri rolled us over so that we were both on our sides and began to unfasten the buttons of my blouse.  When he got past the ones that were puckering, he spread the opening of my shirt apart. 

I looked down at myself and blushed a little.  My white lace bra was all but completely see-through, leaving little to the imagination.   He'd already seen me completely naked once before, but this time, it was just us.  There was no lust charm.  It was just him, looking at just me.

Dimitri met my eyes.  Ever the cautious and respectful man he was, Dimitri asked, "Is this okay?  We don't have to do anything you don't want to."  I took my hands off of his back, and began unfastening the rest of the buttons on my shirt, my eyes never leaving his, pulled it off behind my back and tossed it off.

"It seems like I have a lot more clothes on than you do," I mused, as he stared at me, entranced.  I looked down at him and noticed that the towel was still covering him, but only just, and there was a very large bulge quickly developing underneath it. I smirked. "We should fix that."

"Roza," he practically growled my name, as he came back to my lips to possess them once more.  His hands quickly went to work unfastening my pants, then tugging them off of me in one continuous motion, so fast it nearly took my breath away, momentarily breaking the kiss to stand and remove them.  "Better now?" he asked, coming back to my neck.

"Mmm-hmm," I replied, "Getting there."  I began running my fingers along the oblique muscles along his sides, distracted for only a moment thinking back to the trainings we had both done to strengthen those and so many other muscles, feeling his lips stray down my jaw and to my collarbone, his hands struggling to undo my bra.  I had to stifle a giggle that such a skillful, graceful man could be so completely baffled by something as simple as a bra.  Dimitri growled in frustration, abandoned the clasp, moved his hands to the shoulders, and pulled the straps down, dragging the cups down to my waist, then lowered his lips down to kiss one breast, letting his fingers trail like fire to the other, squeezing and rubbing at the tender flesh of one nipple with his hand, his mouth circling the other.  I let out a moan as his mouth made that contact. 

"Roza," he murmured against my skin,  "Oh Roza."  I let my hand trail from Dimitri's side to his amazing abs, feeling the firmness and the smooth indentations of his chest.  "Roza," he said again, pinching my nipple between his fingers and subconsciously thrusting his hips towards me.  "Roza," he whispered against my flesh, giving me a vigorous lick that caused me to moan, "Roza, you're driving me crazy."  

God, how I wanted to remove that towel...

"You're not the only one, Comrade," I replied, breathless.

Dimitri moved back, smirking at me with a playful look in his eyes.  "Comrade?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, "Really?  You're going to call me that now?  Oh, now you asked for it," he said in that gorgeous Russian accent that I couldn't get enough of.  He brought his lips back up to mine, twisting one hand into my hair, the other on the small of my back, and kissing me for all he was worth, practically crushing my body up against his. I moaned again into his kiss.

Up against my stomach like that, I could feel exactly how hard he was through that towel, and all I wanted was to remove it. When he had pulled me in close to him like that, my hands had slid back to his sides, but I let them drift down to the edge of that towel now, sliding a finger inside the cloth on each side and giving a gentle tug. 

Instantly, Dimitri froze.  I opened my eyes to see his eyes wide, staring back at me.  He broke off the kiss.  "Are you sure?" he asked again.

I licked my lips and looked into his eyes.  "I've never been more sure of anything in my life," I said, going back in to kiss his lips again as I pulled the towel apart, feeling his shaft spring free and the bare skin make contact with my stomach.  I glanced down, trying not to ogle him too obviously, enjoying the beauty of his entire body.

"Oh, Roza," he whispered, as he kissed the edge of my jawline.  Dimitri slid his hands into the back waist of my panties and began sliding them off of me.  Once he got them down to my knees, I pulled my legs up and kicked free of them the rest of the way.  Dimitri smoothed his hand along, from the front of my thigh, to my inner thigh, to my center, letting his fingers graze my folds, as he did that night. 

When the pad of his finger came in contact with me, the feeling was so startling that the moan came louder than I would've ever intended. My eyes went wide.  "The noise," I said, "Is someone going to hear me?  Are we going to get in trouble?"

Dimitri gave me a devilish grin  "The apartment next-door is vacant.  It has been all year.  And I love to hear you; to know that I am bringing you such pleasure."  He slid his finger deep inside me, causing another loud moan to pass through my lips.  He slid it out, slowly, and slid it in again, excruciatingly slowly, causing me to let out a very long, low moan.  He angled his mouth down and began kissing my breast again, continuing his long, slow slides in and out of me, changing direction slightly or twisting sideways.  "Roza ... Roza ... Roza," he whispered, hearing me moan and stroking his finger into me.

"You feel so good," he said, adding a second finger to the first.  It was snug, but it still felt good and slid in smoothly.  I was starting to feel almost dizzy from the intensity of his fingers working their blissful stroking inside of me.  "You feel so wet ... I want you so much ... I can hardly stand waiting to be inside you."

"So, why wait?" I asked, not really understanding.

"Oh, Roza, you are too tempting," he said, smoothly running the fingers along their path into and out of me again, "Not yet.  Just wait."

On his fingers' next trail of me, he hit a spot that was so intense I could barely stand it.  In addition to a louder moan, I felt my hips involuntarily move into his fingers, angling for more. "Oh, Roza, that's what I was looking for."  He trailed his fingers along the same spot, again and again, each time causing me to moan, until I finally called out his name, saying, "Dimitri, please."

He removed his fingers and looked into my eyes.  Dimitri rolled me onto my back and used his hands to slide my legs further apart.  I could feel the tip of his penis pressed up against my opening.  He teased me for a moment, just sliding the tip around the outside edges, rubbing the wetness around.  He took a hand and coated his shaft with the lubrication my body was providing.  "This is going to hurt for a minute," he said, "I'm sorry for that, and I wish that it wouldn't, but I know that it will.  I love you so much, Roza."

I began to say that I loved him, too, but my words were choked off with the sharp stabbing pain and fullness of him entering me.  I couldn't catch my breath and a tear leaked out of my eye.  Dimitri wiped my tear away and kissed at my cheek.  "I'm so sorry for your pain, my beautiful Roza.  Give it a moment." 

He held steady in that position, though I knew it was requiring an effort for him not to move.  I could tell from the barely-contained groan when he entered me that this was causing an entirely different kind of tension and discomfort for him, but he was doing his best to keep from causing me more pain.  He kissed my lips again, letting me feel his breath on my tongue as he gently licked at my lower lip.  He went back to rubbing and squeezing at my nipple for a few moments.

When Dimitri's kiss moved back to my ear, I breathed out, "I think you can move again now.  _Slowly_."  He nodded and slid back out slightly, then slid back in again, very, very slowly.  It didn't feel spectacular, but it wasn't as bad as it had been a few moments ago.  I was pretty sure he could see on my face that there was still pain there.  Then, his hand moved in between us and he began rubbing gentle circles at the bundle of nerves at the front of my opening, eliciting another moan, causing me to tighten around him and slide him further into me.

"Roza," he let out as a strangled cry.  Dimitri plunged his hips into mine again, then pulled out, letting his fingers continue their path.  The painful tension of the stretch inside me began to melt away, replaced with a different, better kind of tension, as I found myself moaning again.  He began to glide in and out, soon angling his hips so that he was hitting that same intense spot deep inside me.  I pulled at his hand, no longer needing his fingers for the extra stimulation, twining my fingers with his as he continued to slide in and out of me, hearing the springs of the tiny twin bed creaking, the sound of him calling my name, and my own moans.

As I became aware of a mounting climax coming soon, I looked into his eyes.  "Dimitri, I love you so much," I said, just before that moment overtook me and I couldn't control the near-yell of my release.  

A moment later, Dimitri was right there with me, letting out a groan as he shuttered his eyes and gritted his teeth.  He gave me a soft kiss on the forehead.  "I love you, too, my Roza," he said, brushing the hair back from my eyes, sliding out of me, turning to hold me close, and pulling the blanket around us both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about that little tease right there at the beginning, but hopefully I made up for it later on. It just wouldn't be Dimitri if he gave in to his desires quite so easily without trying to resist them, would he? Just because it seemed to fit in so well with the story, I've decided to treat the portions of gigi256's Dimitri POV storyline that transpired between Dimitri and Adrian or Yuri up to the point this story breaks off as if they happened.  
> So here's my new Question of the Week: How often do you read fiction for enjoyment and how old were you when you started reading it?  
> I picked up a few books here and there outside of school when I was growing up (Carrie, Les Miserables, 2001, and Oedipus), but I actually didn't really start reading for enjoyment until I was pregnant with my son and I had some wicked morning sickness that would keep me up (or worse - wake me up) at night, so I would turn to reading to pass the time at bedtime until I could safely fall asleep. Oddly, despite my age, I was reading almost entirely YA books. First, I read all of the Twilight books, then all of the Harry Potter books, next I was reading all of Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments/Shadowhunters series (plural), then the Divergent series, the Kingkiller Chronicles, The Magicians, The Arcana Chronicles, Fifty Shades, Alyson Noel's Immortals series, and more. I just couldn't put any of them down - even the horrible ones (and there were a few stinkers I didn't care for in there).  
> On a mostly unrelated note, today is my birthday! Not that I usually admit to such things, but since my name here isn't really visible, anyways, I'm turning 43 today. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. As we move into the holiday season, you can probably expect theses chapters to take a little longer in-between, especially as I may be spending some time working on my own original writing.


	5. There's Got to be a Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Dimitri and Rose's night together

I laid there in his arms, just feeling Dimitri's arms around me, gazing into his wonderful chocolate-brown eyes and feeling the love that we shared together.  I couldn't decide if it felt like I was there for an eternity or if it was barely any time at all.  I would've stayed there forever if I could have.  My eyes started to drift closed as I felt sleep threatening to overtake me.

"As much as I would love for you to stay here," Dimitri began, "we can't risk having someone see you leave my rooms." 

I frowned.  He was right.  I knew he was right.  But I so wanted just to stay.  Dimitri ran his hand across my cheek, brushing my hair back from my face, and kissed my lips softly. 

"I know," he said, meeting my eyes, "but the next patrol shift starts at five o'clock."

I looked over at Dimitri's alarm clock and the numbers 4:37 flashed back at me.  I pulled back the blanket as he helped me out of the bed, still naked, except for my useless bra around my waist.  As I got up, I could practically feel Dimitri's eyes on my body, filled with heat and hunger.  

"You see something you like?" I asked, echoing what I'd said to him long ago, when he'd caught me in that compromising position with Jesse Zeklos in the lounge last fall. 

" _Every_ thing," he said, leaning over to kiss me again. 

I almost hated to pull my bra back into position and start to search for my clothes, but I knew that I had to.  A few minutes later, I'd found all of my guardian uniform and had dressed except for the jacket and shoes, Dimitri threw on some boxer briefs and a pair of pajama pants and laid on his bed, watching me with rapt attention from his perch.  "Don't you have to get dressed, too?" I asked.

"Not for four more hours," he replied, giving a small yawn, "I've only slept for four hours in the past two days.  And I've fought two battles and had lots of," he grinned at me, " _other_ exertion in that time.  I'm still hoping to get some rest before my morning shift. We'll still be on partial lock-down today, so there will be a lot of extra guardian work for me to do, escorting people around campus and patrolling."

"Did they say anything about when we'd go back to classes like normal?" I asked.

"A couple more days, I think - as long as there are no further Strigoi encounters," he said, "I am not supposed to tell you this, but once things are back to normal, I'm not certain your field experience will still be only half-time.  After the attack, Guardian Petrov felt that you had proven you could handle a larger assignment.  If she still decides to keep you at half, you and I will be resuming our previous training together on your off days.  If not, we may not be seeing much of each other for the next four weeks, unless we are fighting."

I nodded, trying to keep the gloom out of my expression. "It's only four more weeks.  Then, we'll have another four weeks of training together before my qualifier exam - right?"

"Yes," Dimitri replied, quirking an eyebrow, "Though, sparring with you is going to be a lot more interesting after tonight ... "  He stood from the bed and closed the distance between us, wrapping one arm around my waist and placing the other to the side of my face, running it into my hair. 

I stared into his warm, brown eyes. "I'm going to miss you," I said.

"I'm scheduled to be one of the guardians to escort the novices back to the dhampir dorm after breakfast this morning.  At least I'll see you then."

I smiled. "I'll see you then," I replied, and kissed him again.

"Adrian will be there with you at breakfast this morning," he said, furrowing his brow.

"He will be.  What do you want me to tell him?"

Dimitri thought for a moment.  "As far as he knows, you haven't talked to me yet, right?"

"Right," I confirmed.

"Stall him.  For now.  If he asks, tell him you haven't talked to me.  We have a couple of days before we'd be placed into a normal situation that would have the privacy to have a conversation during sanctioned hours.  No need to give him too much information about tonight."

"Okay," I said.

"I'll try to help you come up with a better explanation by the time when we can talk alone.  If you have to, are you able to convince him we're not together,"  he asked, "so that we can stay hidden until the time is right?"

I gave Dimitri a shaky nod and blinked.  "I can tell him you said that it's not the right thing for us right now."

"Vasilisa will be there, too.  Are you going to talk to her?" he asked.

"Maybe not about what happened tonight, but I should tell her how I feel about you."

"Will you tell her your theory about Vladimir and Anna, too?  About taking spirit's darkness through the bond?"  Dimitri asked.  "I think you should."

"I'm not sure I'm ready, but I will if it's important to you."

Dimitri kissed my forehead.  "Good.  Now, are you ready to go?" he asked. 

"I guess," I said.  I grabbed my jacket, sliding it on and tucking my hair into it.  Dimitri looked out the peep-hole of his door and cracked it open, poking his head out into the hallway.  "It's clear," he said.  

"Roza," he whispered, just before I walked out the door, "if you really need to see me while we're still on lock-down and daylight hours," Dimitri said, "I'm scheduled to patrol your dorm once each night and walk past your room around midnight as a part of my shift.  If you put a piece of paper on the floor under the crack of the doorway at night, I'll know you want to see me.  I may not be patrolling alone, and we would only have five minutes, at most, if I am, but if I'm able, I could knock on your door."

"You can count on it, Comrade," I said, kissing him one final time.

I left and went back to my dorm room, setting my alarm and going back to bed.

* * *

I overslept that morning.  I hastily brushed through my rats' nest of hair and ran to the cafeteria.  I knew I wasn't supposed to be roaming campus alone while we were on lock-down, but after the caves, the senior novices who had gone along were given some leniency during daylight hours, so I managed to get there without too much issue. I got to the cafeteria a few minutes before breakfast was wrapping up, but I was starving.  As soon as I had my tray loaded with food, I saw Adrian in a table in the corner, waving me over.  Hesitantly, I took my tray and headed to his corner and sat across from him, filled with dread at the possible conversation that was about to happen.

"Little dhampir, I've been thinking of you this morning," he said.  He was silent for a minute after that, leaving his words open-ended.

"And...?" I asked.

"I just wanted to talk to you and enjoy your company.  Can't a guy do that?"

I said, "You want to know if I talked to Dimitri yet."

"I'd say yes, but from the glow of your aura this morning, I'm guessing you already have, and that you got the answer you were hoping for.  Is he here somewhere?"

"No, I haven't seen him yet, but I'm hopeful.  For now."  I was a good liar when I wanted to be.

Adrian breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought for a minute there that I'd lost my chance."

"Chance?" I asked.

Adrian reached across the table and took my hand before I realized what was happening.  "Rose," he said, using my actual name, as he so rarely did, "I have feelings for you.  I know that you think you want _him_ , but, if he should reject you, I'd really like it if you would consider going out with me."

Shit. Dimitri was right.  Hopefully the shock on my face was the only emotion that Adrian was seeing. 

Adrian continued, "I'd like you to give me a chance.  I'll even give up cigarettes for you - unless I really, really need one."

"That's a lot to think about," I told him, "but, right now, I don't even know what Dimitri is going to say yet - and I don't even know when I'll have the chance to talk to him alone."

"Just think about it," said Adrian, "Okay?"

"I'll give it some thought," I said, quickly ammending, " _after_ I talk to Dimitri." 

Adrian pulled my hand toward him, leaned down, and kissed it.  "That's all I can ask," he said.

I looked up as Adrian kissed my hand and saw Dimitri walking in the back entrance of the cafeteria.  He appeared to have that same emotionless face he always made, but his eyes flashed for just a moment at Adrian kissing my hand.  Jealousy?  I hardly had time to think about it as my eyes continued across the cafeteria and I saw Lissa exiting the feeder room with Christian.  I smiled and waved them over to come sit with us.

When Lissa sat down beside me, I pulled my hand away from Adrian.  "Rose, we have to talk," she told me, meaningfully eyeing our hands.

"You bet we do," I said, "Can we do it alone?"  I looked at Christian and Adrian as I asked.

Christian, snarky as always, said, "If you're going to sit here and have girl-talk, that seems riveting and all, but I think I'll pass."  He got up and walked away.

"I know you have some things to talk about," said Adrian, "and some things to think about." He winked and walked off.

"Rose," Lissa began, "before we talk about anything, I just want to say how glad I am that you came back safely last night."

"Thanks.  I know you want to talk, and there are so many things I need to tell you."

I could already feel the questions about Adrian through the bond.  "Liss ... Adrian isn't the thing we need to talk about.  At least, not the main thing."

"Is this about what we talked about earlier, about you not telling me things?" Lissa asked.

"That, too," I said, glancing around to make sure no one else was too close to hear our conversation.  All of a sudden, talking about how I might be _catching_ spirit's crazy from Lissa sounded like the least difficult conversation topic to discuss.  "You remember that night when I had Christian run over to the chapel with me?  Adrian had told me that night, when you were working on the plants together ... that he had seen in our auras that the darkness I had was coming from you ... when you used spirit.  I asked Father Andrew that night what had happened to Anna."  I took a deep breath to steady myself.  "He said that Anna killed herself.  I think the bond lets me take the darkness from you."

Shock coursed through the bond to me.  "Is that why you've been seeing ghosts?"

I let out a shallow laugh, "Actually, no.  Those were real.  Mason was the one who saved us all by warning us about the Strigoi."

I could tell Lissa thought I was going crazy and I even sensed pity coming through the bond.  "I'm not crazy," I told her, "Mason spoke, and Dimitri was able to hear him.  You could even go ask him about it.  Mason was the one who showed us where they were hiding in the caves.  The guardians got the information about the caves because Dimitri was able to pass it on from me."

"Okay," she said.  Amazingly, she was willing to believe after I said that.

I began, "Which brings us right up to the next thing we need to talk about."

"What does?" she asked, "Mason?"

"Not exactly."  I glanced around to see if anyone was close enough to hear again, catching Dimitri's eye for a moment.  I smiled at him and scooted closer to Lissa so I could whisper.  "Do you remember how I had told you I stopped things with Mason that last night he was in the hotel with me when things started to get physical?"  She nodded, unsure where I was going with this.

"Did you notice all of the times that Dimitri protected me, or carried me to safety, or stayed with me in the med clinic, like after I fell through the bench - or when Natalie became a Strigoi, or after the plane, or last night in caves?  Or do you remember how, at Victor's trial, he accused Dimitri of some ..." I cleared my throat. "... things ... happening from the charmed necklace?"  I could see Lissa starting to put things together, but I felt from the bond that she wasn't coming to the truth yet.  "Liss, I've fallen in love with him."

"Rose," she said, "are you sure?"

"I think I've known for months, but I couldn't find a good time to tell you." 

"Does he feel the same way about you, too, Rose?"

"I think so, but we can't be together while we're mentor and student here at St. Vladimir's, so that would mean waiting months from now.  Unless he is reassigned and wouldn't be your guardian when you leave here, there wouldn't really be a way for us to be together then, either," I replied.  It was mostly the truth.  If I was going to tell her this, I wanted to tell her everything, but the rest wasn't just _my_ secret to keep.

Lissa asked, "So, if you feel that way about Dimitri, what did I just walk up to here with Adrian, then?"

"When Adrian dream-walks into me, it's usually entirely a spirit dream, one of his creation," I began, "Last night, after I left the med clinic, Adrian dream-walked into one of my own dreams, about Victor's charm - a lust charm - where Dimitri and I kissed.  And other stuff.  Adrian let the dream roll for a while before he let me know he was there watching.  In the dream, I told Dimitri that I loved him.   After he made me aware of him, Adrian told me then that Dimitri dreamed about me, too.  This morning, Adrian told me that he had feelings for me and asked me to consider him if Dimitri rejects me.  Only ... I don't think he will.  Not completely, at least."

"Do you think Dimitri would ask to be reassigned after we leave here so that he could be with you?" asked Lissa.

"I do," I said, smiling over at Dimitri, who was doing his best to scan the area and look anywhere but at me.

"What are you going to tell Adrian?" Lissa asked.

"That's a very good question.  Adrian even - sort of - told me he would quit smoking for me.  That's got to be pretty serious, right?"

"Time to start making your way back to the dorms now, students!" called out Alberta from the entryway, "Single file in orderly groups, please!  High school Moroi line up here next to Guardian Alto, high school dhampirs near Guardian Belikov -"

Lissa, through the bond, asked, _Can you talk to him on the way to the dorms?_  

"No," I whispered, as I stood to go line up, "too many other students around."

I got in line near the end of the high school dhampirs, intentionally standing far from Dimitri.  Alberta caught my ear again when I heard my last name. "... next to Guardian Hathaway," she said.  I somehow hadn't even noticed my mother in the room.  I figured she would be back on her way to the Szelsky estate after the battle in the caves was resolved.  When I looked over at her, wide-eyed, she gave me a small smile.  I expected disappointment to color her face, but this almost seemed ... proud?  I returned her smile, just before hearing Dimitri call out for our group to return to the dorm.

* * *

 

When I got back to my dorm room, I sat on the bed and tuned into the bond to see what Lissa was doing.  Within each of the dorms, students were allowed to move freely, so Lissa and Adrian were just settling in to one of the lounges to work on spirit together.

"Did you bring the jewelry, like I asked in the lobby?" asked Adrian.

"I did," Lissa replied, showing him her jewelry box out from under her arm, "What's it for?"

"I was thinking about charmed objects," he said.  I could tell he was thinking about Victor's necklace.  "I mean, earth users can make compulsion charms, all of the other elements add theirs to stakes or wards.  What if we could put spirit into an object, too?  Like a ring that would compel you to want to give up smoking? Or a bracelet that you put on and it heals you?"

Lissa smiled.  "Are you asking me to compel you to quit smoking for Rose?"

"I might be," Adrian replied, "It'd be interesting to see if that could be done.  If it worked, it'd be better than a nicotine patch, wouldn't it?  So, pull out your jewelry.  Let's see what you've got."

Lissa opened up the jewelry box and spread it all out on the table in front of them.  A few pieces were cheap costume jewelry, but there were definitely some gold and silver pieces that would hold a decent compulsion spell.  One was a very plain golden ring without any ornamentation on the band.  

Adrian held the ring up.  "This one," he said, trying it on his pinky finger.  "It fits me.  Could we try it?"

"Sure," Lissa replied, taking the ring in her hand.  "Will we know if it works?"

Adrian continued sifting through the jewelry.  "It's worth a shot," he said.  "Would you be okay with it if I tried to make Rose a healing charm with one of these?  I think I could use this necklace." He held up a plain-looking silver chain with a small cross on it. 

Lissa said, "I don't know if you could really convince Rose to wear a cross, though.  You might have better luck getting her to wear the ring."

Adrian unclasped his Rolex watch, eyeing it skeptically, "This says that the band is white gold.  Do you think it's gold enough to work the compulsion on it?"

Lissa echoed Adrian and said, "It's worth a shot," as she handed him the ring and began concentrating on Adrian's watchband.  

I left the bond just in time to hear a knocking on my dorm room door.  I knew that Dimitri wasn't planning to have a chance to stop by until midnight, so I wasn't sure who it could be.  I got up and opened it.

"Mom," I said, half-startled I was using the informal name for her.

"Rose," she said, brusque, but friendly, "May I come in?"

"Sure."

She came in and paced around the room like a caged animal, then sat at the desk in the corner, not looking me in the eye.  "You were amazing in the battles with the Strigoi," she began, "I couldn't have been prouder of you.  You've grown up so much."

"Thank you," I said, once again caught off-guard by this new warmer Janine Hathaway. 

I was quiet for another minute when she blurted out, "Your father called me.  He wants to meet you."

"Does he even know I exist?" I asked.

"Of course, he does!" she exclaimed, finally meeting my eyes.  "We just live in ... different worlds.  Obviously, we'd have to wait until the campus is safer for him to arrive.  And I'd prefer that he wait until after your birthday next Sunday." A sarcastic voice in the back of my head was surprised that she actually remembered my birthday.

"Do you want me to meet him?"

"I don't know," she replied.  "I think so."

"Will you still be here when I meet him?" I asked.

"I'll be leaving as soon as the campus is off of lockdown.  I don't think I could really get away again that soon," she said.

I nodded, "Have you heard anything more about field experience?"

"I'll have to let Guardian Petrov know that I told you: she said that you will be back to full-time field experience within a few weeks after the campus is secured.  We could arrange for him to come on your day off on a Sunday?"

"Okay," I replied.  How about the 28th?"

"I'll set it up," she said.  She hugged me - also a shock - and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a while now, I've felt like at least some of the verbal banter, especially early-on like this, or for significant events, like this, would be _similar_ but probably not 100% identical to what happened in the Mead's original text, so I had to add that "You see something you like?" piece where she repeated it post-sex from Last Sacrifice, even if I didn't make Dimitri's response exactly the same. "A butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, a hurricane happens in another" and all that. I omitted the part where Rose was saying how she had thought about the lust charm because I feel like the way she brought up the dream sort of brought life to that comment earlier, and the part where they both promised to protect each other, because I feel like those particular comments following the original lovemaking in the cabin came about partially from the spirit-fueled darkness and the fight with Jesse that happened beforehand. After all, at that point in time, Dimitri had just recently thought she was possibly going to kill herself or become crazy - or get expelled - when he made that promise, _not_ as much that she was a completely amazing (but reckless) badass fighter at the top of her class, who could hold her own against several Strigoi, who had just brazenly confronted him about the feelings he was trying to keep hidden.  
> As far as Rose's birthday goes, I had trouble figuring out an exact day for it. In the books, she goes to withdraw on her birthday, but a wiki site suggested her birthday was March 21, 1992, which would make her birthday a Sunday (thank you, Google). I didn't figure that she would've been able to see the Headmistress early in the morning on a Sunday and I didn't love it being on a Sunday, but I tried to stay accurate to the original. Timing out exactly how long there was between the attack and the qualifier trials was also a little bit tricky, but I didn't want to drag out that time where she would be basically alone for too long, so I hope I guessed right.  
> So here's my question of the week: How do you decide what to get people for Christmas? I'm pitifully behind schedule this year and it has always been tricky to figure out what to get, so several years ago, I made my husband and son start up Amazon wishlists so that I would always have some ideas to work from (and so that there wouldn't be any duplicated presents).


	6. Planning, Anticipation, and Action

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't plan on this story being a 'smut' thing, but there is a bit of mature content in this chapter, so read responsibly. I also couldn't resist tucking in just a tiny bit of Dimitri POV in this chapter. I find him a challenge to write because so much of his feelings are under the surface, so I hope I did him justice and I hope that it's enjoyable!

On our walk back to the dorm, I tried to distance myself from Dimitri a little, just so my feelings for him wouldn't be too conspicuous, although, I could hardly stand the wait for his walk-by at midnight to come that night.  As I passed him at the doorway to the building, I let my hand graze his for just a moment.  It made my heart hurt to know that was as close as we could get during the day.

I glanced over at Dimitri a few times in the cafeteria throughout the day, but he was always along the wall wearing his aloof guardian mask.  I sat at lunch and dinner with Lissa, but Adrian was a regular fixture at mealtime that day.  In a vain attempt at distraction, Adrian chattered about idle nonsense the entire time, like whether coconuts were a fruit or a nut.  Dimitri didn't escort the high school novices for the rest of the day, so I never even got close to him. 

I checked in on Lissa through the bond a few times throughout the afternoon and it appeared that she and Adrian were making some good progress on their charms, but it didn't seem like they would be ready for another day or so. Lissa's first attempt at a no-smoking compulsion charm made Adrian immediately run to the doors and grab a cigarette. Adrian seemed to think he was doing a little bit better at creating the healing charm that he was working on, but he didn't really have a test subject and there was no way I was going to volunteer to be his guinea pig.

About a half-hour after dinner, Eddie stopped by my room and asked me to join a couple of the other senior novices in the lobby to play poker.  After I beat them all for five hands straight and collected almost thirty dollars of my classmates' money, Eddie suggested I should probably head back to my room for the night before the others decided that I would need to give it all back.

Once I had returned to my room from the card game, I immediately found a sheet of paper and slid it under my door, as Dimitri and I had discussed. Seeing that I had to be in my room for the night a few hours before he would show up, I debated whether I should try to sleep before he arrived.  Inevitably, I decided against it because I didn't want to miss his knock. 

When I had gone to Dimitri's apartment the other night, I may have had a few minutes to think about how I looked before I left, but I didn't take long then.  I wanted to do it right this time.  I made my way to the showers and really took my time washing, exfoliating, shaving, and conditioning - I wanted everything to be as perfect as I could make it.  I returned to my room just before lights out.  I turned out the room light and turned on a small desk lamp so that I could continue moisturizing, styling out my hair perfectly, and a thousand other little girly things.  

The next question was what I should wear (or not wear) for when Dimitri would show up.  I decided it was probably better to go ahead and use some lip gloss, still thankful that he had bought me that tube of it in the fall, but cosmetics was the easy part.  As far as I knew, he'd never had the opportunity to see my over-sized t-shirt that I usually slept in, but it really wasn't anything that I was sure I'd want him to see me wearing, either.  Even if I had some sexy lingerie (I didn't - I'd never had a need for it), I wasn't sure that would exactly be something I should be wearing if anyone _else_ should happen to be the one to knock on my door.  Knowing my mother had been by earlier that day, I wasn't confident that he would be the only one to knock.  For the same reason, it'd be pretty odd for me to still be in my daytime clothes in the middle of the night.  After looking around through my drawers a bit more, I decided I would wear a simple bath robe - and nothing else.

While I was waiting for Dimitri to show up, I thumbed through the papers in my room.  I found a picture Lissa had taken of the two of us together the night of the shopping trip to Missoula.  Dimitri was just in the background in the picture, but his gorgeous face was looking at me.  The expression on his face was mostly his typical guardian face, but if you looked right in his eyes and knew it was there, you could see that he had cared about me, even then.  When I had looked at this photo before, I hadn't known it was any more than just my imagination, but now I knew.  Just looking at him in the picture with all of his hotness was nice, but to see that look, knowing it was there ... it was so amazing and exciting.  As I touched my fingers to the picture, I had the urge to kiss it, but I already had my lip gloss on and didn't want to mess up the photo.

I looked up at the clock and saw that it said 11:45.  Fifteen more minutes seemed like an eternity!  I fidgeted with the belt of my robe, debating if I would even bother to have it tied when I answered the door or just hold it closed, ready to release it when he came into the room.  After a few minutes, I untied it and just sat there waiting.  The waiting was getting boring awfully fast and I was starting to run out of ideas to pass the time.  On top of that, I knew I'd had more sleep than Dimitri had, but I was sitting in low light and had still only had about five hours of sleep the previous night, so I was starting to get pretty drowsy.  I had a huge pile of clutter sitting out in the middle of the floor, so I walked over to go through it and began to organize it into little piles; dirty clothes, school papers, books, and more. 

Before I realized it, I'd looked up at the clock and it said 12:10.   I frowned.  That must mean he wouldn't be able to come tonight.

I shut off the desk lamp, tied off the robe, and crawled into the bed, covered myself with the blanket, and rolled over, preparing to go to sleep.

_There was a knock at the door!_

I hastily pulled back the blanket, untied the robe, and walked over to the door.  Holding the robe closed with one hand and the door in the other, I cracked the door just wide enough for my face and peered out into the hallway.  Dimitri was smiling back at me.  It was that genuine smile of his that I so rarely saw, that I loved so much.  I opened the door and whispered, "Come on in." 

He walked into my room, I closed and locked the door, and I stopped holding the robe closed.  Our lips met so quickly that he didn't have time to register that my robe was open - or what was (not) underneath it.  The kiss was wonderful - soft and gentle and full of love.  It felt so special and meaningful just to have him here. He kissed me like that for a few moments.

When his hand went to my waist and met bare skin, he let out a little startled gasp.  He pulled slightly away from my lips and looked down.  "Oh, Roza," Dimitri chuckled, as his hand immediately went to my bare breast, covering me with his palm.  The skin-to-skin contact of his palm felt like fire on my skin, causing me to moan.  Dimitri brought his mouth down to my neck as I struggled to stand on tip-toes to give him a better angle.

"As much as I _really_ want to be with you right now," he whispered, so close to my ear that I could feel his tongue on my earlobe, "I'm not sure we have the time.  I also actually did have something to talk to you about." 

Despite his words, Dimitri didn't seem to be stopping.  I was practically panting as I felt his thumb grazing my nipple over and over again.  My arms were gripping his back so hard that I'm nearly sure I was leaving fingernail marks in his skin.  He took his other hand and ran it around my back, inside my robe, pulling my body taut up against him, cupping and squeezing my ass. 

From this distance, I could feel just how much he really wanted me.  I was pretty ready to go, too.  I wanted this.  But ... he had a point.  Breathlessly, I asked him, "Didn't you need to talk to me about something?"

" _Der'mo_ ," he exclaimed.

"Aren't you ever going to teach me what that means?" I pouted.

"No.  I've already done enough to corrupt you," he joked, "Besides, you swear enough in English that you don't need to know how to do it in two languages."

"What did you want to talk about?"

"First," he said, dark eyes full of fire, "take your robe off and lay down on the bed."

I didn't question it, but Dimitri could see the questions in my eyes.  "I should really only have five minutes, but I'm going to make it fifteen," he cocked an eyebrow as he said, "I'll write in my report that I found a couple undressing each other in one of the dorms."  I giggled. "But, right now, I want to give you something to think about after I leave.  God knows, you've already given _me_ something to think about later."

I laid down on the bed, robe cast aside.  Dimitri laid down beside me and kissed my lips deeply, running a hand through my hair.  As I melted into the kiss, I lost everything else going on in the room, thinking of nothing else besides his lips, our breathing, and the utter bliss of this moment, caught completely unaware when his hand slid in-between my thighs, resting at their apex, and sliding into my center.  Dimitri began kissing down my jaw, to the valley between my breasts.  Dimitri began rubbing small circles at the bundle of nerves with his thumb, sliding another finger inside.  "My beautiful Roza, I love you so much.  _Khochu zanyat'sya s toboy lyubov'yu tak sil'no_ ," he said, as his mouth moved to one of my nipples.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me what that means, either?" I asked, as he continued kissing and licking.

"It means," he whispered, against my skin, "'I want to make love to you ... so ... badly.'"  If just hearing that wasn't already enough to have me practically at his mercy, on the word 'badly', his finger began hitting that sensitive spot on the inside again.  My response was an immediate near-screaming moan.  Dimitri shushed me, saying, " I love the way you sound, but someone is going to come check on you if you're loud now."

He let his finger slip in and out of me a few more times as I nearly cried from trying to keep quiet.  "There," he said, relenting his pursuit and removing his fingers, lips coming back to mine, "Now I've given you something to think about." 

He kissed me deeply, then sat up and asked, "What did you say to Adrian this morning?" I could tell he was trying to sound casual, but he completely failed.

"I told him we hadn't had a chance to talk yet," I replied, sitting up to meet him and kissing him back.  "Then, he asked me if I would consider choosing him if you rejected me.  And then," I said, smirking, as he stood and handed me my robe from where I'd discarded it earlier, "you looked over just as he took my hand and kissed it.  You were jealous, weren't you?"

"A little bit," he admitted.  "What are you going to tell him?"

"I haven't figured that out yet.  We have a couple of days to get our story straight, right?" I asked, standing to join him and wrapping the robe around my shoulders, still leaving the front open.

Dimitri kissed me again. "Yes. I suppose we do.  Did you talk to Vasilisa this morning, also?"

"Yes," I replied, and then kissed him back before finishing with, "about spirit ... about what Adrian said to me ... and about being in love with you," each pause punctuated with more kisses. God, I loved kissing this amazing man.

"Did you tell her about anything that happened between us?"

"Not about last night," I said, "but I told her about Victor's charm."  I kissed Dimitri again, relishing every second of closeness with him.  "It just felt like this wasn't just _my_ secret to keep.  If it matters, though, I'm sure that Lissa would keep this a secret, if I were to tell her."

Dimitri nodded, smiled, and kissed me again, twining his fingers through my hair, "Alright," he said, "I trust your judgment on this.  If you need to talk to someone, I don't want you to feel that you have to hide this from her.

"I've got to get going now. My schedule tomorrow should be the same as today's was. I'll see you walking back from breakfast. If you leave the paper under the door again, I will try to come back tomorrow night." 

"I will," I replied. I smiled and kissed him back again.  Dimitri deepened the kiss again and it quickly became even more evident that the time for talking was done.  He reached down and slid his hand between my thighs and slid his fingers back between my folds, causing a low moan to come from me.  Between kisses, Dimitri said, "Could you do me a favor, please?"

"Mmm-hmm," I murmured, continuing to kiss him.

Dimitri paused.  He seemed almost unsure of himself, which was so unlike him. "Have you ever ... touched ... yourself before?"  he asked me.

Wow - I did _not_ see that one coming!  I was completely flummoxed.  I think he could see it in my eyes.

Dimitri let his finger take a slow journey all the way in and back out again, causing a louder moan, and then said, "Do you think you could take care of this for me after I leave?" Another journey of his finger, then a pause.  "I'd really like you to."  I felt utterly helpless under his gaze, and simply nodded.

"And Roza?" he asked, crossing to my door. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that the time was now almost half past.

"Yes," I replied, breathless and shaky, as I pulled the robe around me again.

"Think of me," he said.

"Most definitely," I replied, as he opened the door.

"Oh, Roza, I love you with all of my heart," he whispered as he exited.

"And I love you." Dimitri closed the door.

* * *

 

**Dimitri**

I couldn't believe how much Roza was beginning to mean to me.  Even if I couldn't still taste her lips, still feel her touch on my skin, still picture her beauty, and still smell her wetness on my fingers, It would still be difficult to be apart from her, knowing that she truly loved me - and had chosen to be with me. Once we could finally have a public relationship, I don't know that I would ever want to be apart from her again.  I couldn't wait for that day.

Patrolling along the periphery of the wards was brainless work that didn't require much focus, but I still knew it would be a challenge to watch where I was going.  The further I got from Rose's room, it should have gotten easier to think clearly, but instead, my thoughts became muddled with the conversations she and I had earlier and what she would tell Adrian or Vasilisa in the coming days.

A small part of me still wondered if Rose was really certain of her heart and her feelings for me. It felt wrong - in too many ways - to think of her as a child, but there was simply no denying her inexperience. How could I really be sure she knew her own heart well enough to know that she was in love with me?  What if she later chose to regret being with me? I was beginning to feel absolutely convinced that I could never love another woman again after loving Rose. No matter how much I loved her - no, _because_ of how much I loved her, I just couldn't allow myself to ruin her life - her entire _future_ , really - simply because of my own feelings.

In some ways, Adrian truly was the better man for her, even if I didn't want to give her up. It would definitely be hard to keep Adrian from noticing an illicit relationship, if he is going to be pursuing her romantically himself.  Even if he hadn't said anything thus far, there was no way I would trust him to keep our secret, _especially_ with what he had at stake.  The repercussions of us being discovered wouldn't be limited to just me.  This was a problem either I'd have to find a way to deal with, or Rose would.

Princess Dragomir, however, loved Rose like a sister.  If Roza trusted her, then I had absolute faith that as long as she felt that it was what Rose wanted, Vasilisa would hold on to Rose's secrets at all costs.  It would be good for Rose to have someone to confide in.

As I rounded the northern gates of campus, my phone started chiming.  I looked at the screen. "New text message from Yuri Bondar" 

I clicked into the message. It said, "12:52 AM: Patrolling high school dhampir dorm now. Your girl is having nightmares again."

I sent a reply text back, asking only, "Are you sure?"  She couldn't be asleep yet?   _Especially_ if she was doing what I asked her to do.

Within a couple of seconds, I got another reply.  "12:54 AM: Yes. She's been moaning and screaming like she was fighting really hard.  Heard your name several times." 

I had to adjust my pants, thinking about what could cause the woman I love to be awake and screaming my name over and over again in her bed right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of my making Rose into a card shark - or a complete slob? It just seemed so right for her personality to me.  
> Here's my question of the week: Do you think you could keep a forbidden romance (office romance, student/teacher, cheating on a boyfriend, etc.) a secret? If so, how long do you think you could keep it up?  
> When I was 18 and in college at my first office job, I worked for a large company where fraternizing with co-workers was prohibited and I briefly dated a man on my team, who happened to be 28. Not only was keeping it a secret hard, but it also meant that both of us had to physically and emotionally distance ourselves from each other during work hours. Every time I had the chance, I would let my hand linger on his. If we were alone somewhere, there were secret touches or kisses. I don't think we were 'in love', by any means - or that we even really had strong feelings for each other -, but eventually, the relationship just fizzled out because it was exhausting to hide it and we were never together, even when we were together.


	7. Hiding in Plain Sight

Nearly as soon as I drifted off to sleep that night, I entered what I immediately recognized to be a spirit dream.  I found myself dressed in the red Asian-style dress that Tasha Ozera had gotten me for Christmas, with my nazar around my neck, in the lobby area of Lissa and Adrian's dorm.  I silently breathed a sigh of relief that Adrian hadn't left me in the bathrobe that I had fallen asleep in.

"Hello, little dhampir," Adrian said, face splitting into a big smile, "How are you this fine evening?  You're getting to bed pretty late."

Grappling for an excuse, I said, "My schedule's all messed up.  I'll be glad to be back awake at night again."

"I could put in a word with Kirova," he offered, "You'll find I can be very _persuasive,_ " implying compulsion.

"No.  No need to do that," I replied, "I'm sure it won't be too much longer before things get back to normal.  Anyways, when they do, I'll be put back on field experience.  My mother told me that there's a chance that I might be back to field experience full time. You probably wouldn't see me very much, then."

"I could certainly find a way to be around Ozera more often, if it meant being closer to you. And you'd still have Sundays off," Adrian said, then, "Wait - your mother talked to you?"

"Yes, she came by an hour or so after breakfast yesterday," I replied, "After the attack, they felt like I was ready to go back to full-time."

"They?" he asked, "You mean Belikov?" I winced.  Just having Adrian say Dimitri's name would yield nothing good right now.

"My mother only mentioned Alberta," I replied quickly.  Maybe too quickly.

Adrian saw through my steering to a different topic and said, more a statement than the question it should've been, "You talked to him about the dream.  If guardians can just drop by your dorm room at will, then he must've been able to, too."

I tried to be evasive.  "Remember, I'm the one who wanted to talk to him - not the other way around.  When would I have talked to him?  We've been on lockdown.  Other than mealtimes, I haven't even been allowed to leave my dorm."  

"It doesn't really make any sense that you would've been able to, but, that's not really an answer to my question," Adrian scrutinized me meaningfully, "Little dhampir, I feel like you're hiding something."

I was probably quiet for a bit longer than I should've been, especially because the spirit dream had to be taking a lot out of him to maintain it for this long.  I could be a good liar when I wanted to be, but Adrian was always better than most in reading lies - maybe a part of seeing my aura.  So far, I'd avoided telling Adrian anything that was an outright lie, but it seemed I'd have to.  I made a silent wish that it would work as I finally said, struggling to give him a thing I could be hiding without giving anything away, "I told him that I wanted to talk to him, but we haven't had any time for a discussion yet.  We probably won't have time to talk until our next training session in the gym - which will probably be my day off on Sunday.  It'll be Wednesday when I wake up in the morning, though.  By the time we're back on nights, that'll be another day down, making it Thursday.  If we're not off of lockdown and back on nights in the next four days, then I might be talking to him on my birthday..."

Adrian finished, "And you don't want a rejection on your birthday."

I nodded. "I don't."

"Rose," he said, catching me off-guard by using my actual name, and taking my hand again and holding it to his heart, "please know that I care for you, too - and I _won't_ reject you.  Even if he wants you, you have to know that he's taking advantage of you.  And what kind of life could the two of you really have?  It would be months before you could even really have a relationship.  Is that what you really want?"  I almost felt like I was feeling a bit of compulsion from him on part of that, but I shrugged it off.  Adrian wouldn't do that to someone he cared about - would he?  I wanted to say 'yes' to his question outright - that, yes, I really wanted that, if it meant being with Dimitri - but I knew that I shouldn't give that much away.  

"And are you really sure you're in love with him?  Or that you _don't_ have feelings for me, too?" he continued.  "All I'm saying is, please, consider my offer."  As he finished, we were eye to eye.  I blinked, unsure how to reply.  Adrian leaned in and kissed my forehead.  The dream disintegrated before my eyes.

 

* * *

 

I was almost on time for breakfast the next morning, getting there while they still had all of the food lines open.  On the way into the building, I was told by one of the guardians that there was going to be an announcement at the end of breakfast.  I crammed my plate full of bacon and grabbed a handful of chocolate-covered donuts, then headed for Lissa.  Searching her through the bond, I realized that she was in with the feeders and took a seat across from Christian.  

"Did you forget to eat yesterday or something?  Was there any bacon left in the whole cafeteria?" he asked in his usual snarky mood, eyeing my plate.

"Hey!" I replied, biting into a donut and laughing, "I left a little bit for other people!"

"I'll believe it when I see it," he said, laughing, "After the attacks, I've been giving some thought to some stuff.  How would you feel about training a few of us to fight?"  My mind reeled at the possibilities, but I knew that we could all get in trouble.

I shushed him.  "Everyone knows using defensive magic is forbidden," I whispered back.

"And after the campus attack, everyone here knows that _I_ don't need training for _that_ ," he replied, smugness firmly in place, "I want you to teach us to throw a punch, kick, stuff like that.  I already know a little about that from Aunt Tasha, but there are others who could use to learn, too.  And I could always use to learn more.  Once you're back on field experience, you'll already be with me during that, anyways, so it should work out with your schedule."

"I _will_ be with you," I admitted, "maybe more than you know.  It sounded like they might put me back on field experience full-time."

"So, why not?" he asked.

Lissa walked up and sat beside Christian, setting her tray down beside his.  "Why not what?" she asked.

"Christian wants me to teach some Moroi how to fight."

"I think you should," she replied, biting into the lone apple she got.

Christian added, "Liss could learn a thing or two about it, too."

"I'm not sure I should," she replied, more timid than I would expect.

"I probably could train some people on some basic defensive combat.  It'd be kinda cool for Lissa to learn how to throw a punch.  You'd better clear it with some of the guardians, though," I said, "Maybe it'd be better to have Alberta or someone come with me to train you - or Dimitri could come and help us." I shoved another handful of bacon in my mouth.

Up until that moment, I hadn't realized that Adrian had walked up and was in the process of sitting next to me at the table.  "Do you think that it's wise to get Belikov involved, little dhampir?" he asked.

Lissa and I exchanged a meaningful look across the table.  I took my time finishing my mouthful of bacon, mentally searching out the words, especially with Christian - who didn't know anything about Dimitri and me - there. I finally replied, "Dimitri is one of the best combat instructors we have.  I have been working with him all year long and he's taught me most of what I know.  I'm sure he could do great."

"Besides," Lissa added, "no matter who does it, after the Moroi help with the attack this week being so successful, I'd be surprised if there hadn't been talk about training."

"Well," laughed Adrian, "I can try, but I'm not sure how far I'll get. These hands weren't meant for manual labor."

Christian scoffed, "And who said anything about training you, anyways, Ivashkov?  You're not even a student here!"

Lissa was going to try to be diplomatic again.  "Why don't we just leave the training up to the guardians in charge and let them know who's expressed an interest?  Maybe Christian could go talk to Guardian Petrov about it at the end of breakfast?"

Christian nodded.  "I can do that," he said.

"I heard that there was supposed to be an announcement," I said, "Did you want to go do it now, before they make it?"  Without actually answering, Christian got up and walked over to Alberta.  I could see him smiling after a few minutes of talking. 

He came back and sat down. "It's a 'go'," he said, "the announcement is that we are going to be coming off of lockdown and going back off daylight hours tonight.  She said that we could start training as soon as next week is over.  She'd just have to draw up a new schedule first."  I wasn't totally surprised that we were coming off of lockdown, but it did mean that Dimitri and I would need to figure out how we were going to play this with Adrian soon.  My eyes scanned the cafeteria for Dimitri, but he was nowhere to be seen.  Breakfast wasn't due to end for another ten minutes, so he wouldn't need to be there to escort us back for at least five minutes, but I wasn't sure if the announcement would effect his timing. 

 "So, did she say how soon field experience kicks back off once classes resume?" I asked, thinking about whether I'd have time to talk to Dimitri tomorrow before I'm back to being on duty.

"Nope.  We'll just have to wait and see," Christian replied.  "Why?  Can't wait for spending time with my awesomeness?"

"Just wondering if I should pack my bag again," I said, "I guess someone'll tell me if I do, though."

Adrian leaned to the side and said, in a hushed voice that I barely picked up, "If you're really that nervous about all this, little dhampir, there is a solution."  A quick check of the bond confirmed that he was too quiet for the other Moroi to hear with all of the other background noise in the cafeteria, but that Lissa was curious about what he was saying.

I turned to face Adrian.  "What's that?" I asked him.

"Just don't talk to him about it," he said in that same hushed tone, "Keep it to yourself.  Or better yet," he winked, "instead of just forgetting the discussion, give plan 'B' a chance."

Telling Adrian I chose not to talk to Dimitri could help to postpone the inevitable, so I liked that plan, but I didn't quite like Adrian's suggestion that I just start dating him.  I was struggling to respond to Adrian's comment when Alberta and Headmistress Kirova stepped up to the front of the room and Alberta called out, "Attention, everyone!  Our announcement is going to begin.  Take your seats and quiet down." The activity in the room all ceased within a few seconds.  Scanning the room again, my eyes met Dimitri's as I saw him walking in from one of the outside doors.

"As you all know, the wards were broken during the Strigoi attack earlier this week," Kirova called out, "We have found the cause of the wards breaking, confirmed that the wards are back in place and have been reinforced, and that all Strigoi threats in the area have been effectively neutralized.  Though there will be increased guardian security for the next few days, we will be removing the lockdown effective as of noon today, and returning to our normal night schedule this evening.  Lights-out will be at twelve thirty.  Classes will not be resuming until Monday, but students are encouraged to rest this afternoon to accommodate the shift in schedule.  Senior novices are to report to their charges before classes begin on Monday.  Because you are still on lockdown now, you will be escorted back to your dorms in five minutes."

"Rose Hathaway!  Please come and see me and Guardian Belikov before you are escorted back to your dorm," Alberta yelled.  

I immediately got up, carrying the remaining donut from my plate with me, and walked over to where Alberta was standing.  Dimitri walked over at the same time I did.  "What's up?" I asked them both.

"Rose," began Alberta, "In talking with Guardian Belikov, he's told me that there has been some proof that the ghosts you had been experiencing were less about post-traumatic stress than about seeing real ghosts as a result of some side effects of Princess Dragomir's unusual abilities and the damaged wards.  In talking with your counselor, we would like you to continue attending your sessions, but Guardian Belikov and I have been talking it over.  We believe that - especially with the wards in-tact again - you are ready to return to your field experience full-time on Monday. Guardian Belikov and Guardian Bondar both cited your amazing response in your last field attack, and several of the other guardians have mentioned your work in the caves, however, with your time off from the field experience, we both felt it prudent to give you some additional training, especially since we'd like to see you excel at your final trials.  We both believe that you have the potential to be the best in your class.  Guardian Belikov has graciously offered to find times to meet with you for some additional training time.  We'll allow you to take time off from your field experience for the sessions, but I'd encourage you to begin the training as soon as we're off of lockdown.  I trust you can accommodate whatever schedule he has in mind?"

I tried to hide my smile.  The thought of spending extra time with Dimitri sounded so good, but getting the best score in my class for my final trials was incredible, and the fact that both of them thought I had that potential was great.  "Yes, ma'am," I replied.

Alberta asked Dimitri, "Guardian Belikov, by the time you drop the novices off at the dorm, it should be around nine forty.  I know you're scheduled for a patrol shift after that, but if I reassign someone else to that shift, can you get a schedule drawn up and sent to Rose by ten thirty?" 

"Yes, Guardian Petrov," Dimitri replied, "I already have some ideas that might work with the rest of my patrol schedule over the next few days," Dimitri turned to me. "Rose, can you meet me at the track for running at six o'clock?"

That wasn't a lot of sleep, but I could handle it.  It would also give me a chance to see Dimitri sooner than I had originally planned.  "Okay," I said.

"Thank you both for being willing," said Alberta, "Rose, you may return to your breakfast now. Please make sure you," she glanced at Dimitri, " _both_ get some rest this afternoon to prepare for your training."

I left and sat back down at the table with the others to finish my bacon.  I noticed that the pile seemed somewhat smaller than when I left it, but let it be.

"What was that all about?" asked Lissa.

"They've asked me to go back on full-time field experience  on Monday," I replied, "and they're going to give me some extra training sessions to make up for being on half-time the past few weeks.  I'll start back up again first thing when we wake up in the 'morning'."

"So, seeing that we're going from eating breakfast, to sleeping, to eating breakfast again, do you think you could meet me after next breakfast?" Adrian asked me, "Maybe over in the library?"

"I guess so," I said, finishing the last of my bacon, "Why do you ask?"

"I'm almost finished with that healing charm I've been working on.  I'd like to finish it and give it to you," he said.

I was skeptical.  I asked, "Have you tested it out? I heard how well the first try of the no-smoking charm worked." 

"Yes," he said, "Lissa agreed to wear that bracelet."  He pointed to a silver bracelet with daisies on it she was wearing.

"Liss, does it work?" I asked.

Lissa replied, "A little bit.  It's not strong, but I can feel it."

"I'm still not so sure about this, but I'll give it a try," I said.

Alberta began calling us to line up to head back to the dorms, the high school novices behind Dimitri.  Now that I had a legitimate reason to talk to Dimitri, I got in the front of the line.  As he started to escort us out, I asked him, "How long do you think we'll be training later?"

He replied only, "As long as it takes."  

"Touché, comrade.  Touché."  At that, I saw a crack in his face that almost looked like a little half-smile.

After a minute or so, Dimitri asked me, "Did you do what I asked you to the last time we talked?"

I had to think for a moment to realize what he was asking me. "I might've," I replied.  Dimitri's face didn't change, but I thought I detected a shift in his posture.

"Guardian Bondar told me he thought you might've been having some nightmares last night.  He said he heard some screaming coming from your dorm room.  Should I be worried about you?"

I struggled not to show a reaction.  "Nothing but the sweetest of dreams for me last night.  Must've had the wrong room." 

"Good to know."  He maintained his composure, but I could see a spark in his eyes.

"Well," I amended, "other than a visit from our friendly neighborhood spirit dream-walker, that is."

"Does he visit you in your dreams often?" Dimitri asked, furrowing his brow slightly.

I replied, "Once every week or two, usually.  As far as I can tell, at least.  I got the feeling the other day that he might occasionally eavesdrop on dreams without letting someone know he's there."

"Indeed." 

We were at the door to the dorm.  I stopped to talk to Dimitri as the rest of the novices wandered past. "So, once you have that schedule ready, how will I get it?"

"I will email it to you," Dimitri replied, "Guardian Petrov will want a copy of it so that she can make some arrangements with the field experience."

"Okay.  I'll be looking for it when I get up.  And I'll see you at the track at six, ready to run."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we're another chapter in. Sorry this one took a bit longer than the past few, but it's finally here!  
> Here's my question of the week: How old were you (if you've ever been) the first time you truly were 'in love'?  
> I think for me, I was 16. I loved him enough that I felt like I would've given up my whole world for him. It didn't last, because I was impatient and his feelings weren't as strong as mine. The breakup inevitably gave me my first ulcer, but I wouldn't have changed it for anything, either. I had a few other romantic relationships after that one ended, but it certainly had an impact on all of my future relationships.  
> Also, I'd like to throw this out for anyone reading now and am hoping for a quick response in the next week or two: I'm not in love with the overall title of this story, since I picked it before I really had a clear long-term storyline in mind - how would you feel if I changed it from "Building the Tension" to something else? I'm hoping to either do it or decide not to in the next few weeks.


	8. Fighting the Urge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a little bit PG-13 towards the end. Special credit on this one goes to my husband, who may not be a fighter, but is a solid wall of muscle. He once spent some time as my personal trainer and taught me a thing or two that I've used in this chapter.  
> Note on update 2018-12-28: I had previously been using a random letter ("A") for Dimitri's middle initial. Thanks to another poster's fic (objectiveheartmuscle's "Call My Name"), I have discovered that Russian names use a form of the father's name as the middle initial, so I am fixing that now.

I said goodbye to Dimitri and headed to my dorm room.  I had completely forgotten to ask Alberta or Dimitri about training the Moroi, but I figured I could always throw in a quick response to his schedule if I didn't see anything there.  I knew I probably should be going to bed right away, but I still felt like it was morning and couldn't stop thinking about Dimitri and what our new training time together might hold.  I knew I had almost three hours until lights-out, so I started up my laptop, opened my email, and went back to the organizing I had started last night before Dimitri showed up, hoping it would chime loud enough when he sent me the schedule that I would hear it.  

After about half an hour of trying to sort through the mess, my computer chimed the new email message's arrival.  I walked over and opened Dimitri's message. 

> From: Belikov, Dimitri  
>  To: Hathaway, Rosemarie  
>  CC: Petrov, Alberta  
>  Date: March 10, 2010 10:08 AM  
>  Subject: Training Schedule
> 
> Rose,
> 
> Here is a training schedule for before classes start.  I will give you a different schedule for Monday by Sunday afternoon. 
> 
> 6:00 PM - Running - Meet at Track  
>  6:30 PM - Weight-lifting (upper body) and Sparring - Gym  
>  11:30 PM - Weapons training - Meet at Gym  
>  3:30 AM - Running - Meet at Track  
>  4:00 AM - Technique and Strategy - To be determined  
>  7:30 PM - Weight-lifting (legs) and Martial Arts - Meet at Gym
> 
> Topics for techniques and strategy will include single and pair guarding techniques, stealth, how to take a fall, and predicting your opponent's next move.
> 
> The molnija and zvezda mark ceremony for the attack will be on Friday at 3:00, so we might move the schedule out a half hour that day.
> 
> **Guardian Dimitri R. Belikov**  
>  Blood Master Level 7  
>  St. Vladimir's Academy

That would mean a big day tomorrow, including probably at least five hours with Dimitri.  It seemed like a lot, but it was about the same amount of training as we had before the field experience had started.  I sent a quick reply.

> From: Hathaway, Rosemarie  
>  To: Belikov, Dimitri  
>  CC: Petrov, Alberta  
>  Date: March 10, 2010 10:11 AM  
>  Subject: RE: Training Schedule
> 
> christian said there might be someone training moroi next week  
>  am i helping with that

As I was getting dressed for bed, my computer chimed about 30 seconds later.

> From: Petrov, Alberta  
>  To: Belikov, Dimitri; Hathaway, Rosemarie  
>  Date: March 10, 2010 10:12 AM  
>  Subject: RE: RE: Training Schedule
> 
> We'll see.
> 
> **Captain Alberta Petrov**  
>  St. Vladimir's Academy

"We'll see," was better than a flat-out, "no."  I finished getting ready for bed and laid down.  So many things were going through my head.  I was thinking not only everything that had happened with Dimitri over the past few days, but also of the time to spend with Dimitri, the possibility of getting the position of top of my class, and the possible training of Moroi.  My mind was restless, but I would need to get as much rest as I could with the big training day ahead.

* * *

Thankfully, once my brain finally quieted enough to rest that afternoon, my dreams were peaceful and they were my own.  I had set my alarm for five forty so that I would have just enough time to dress and get to the track.  After all of the times that Dimitri and I had trained together, I tried not to stress about what I was wearing, but I did wear a tank top that was a little more on low-cut side with some of my typical shorts. I ended up ready to leave my room a few minutes earlier than I had planned, so I headed out across the deserted campus.

When I got to the track, Dimitri was already there waiting for me, wearing his shorts and running shoes. "Hi," I said as I smiled at him, "Should I go ahead and start doing laps?"

"If it's okay with you," he offered, "I'd like to run with you this morning.  And keep your pace down enough so that you can talk while we run?"

"Of course, Comrade," I said as I took off running. 

Dimitri, with his long strides, effortlessly caught up with me seconds later and was running by my side along the track.  In the past, when we had run together, it was usually at my fastest speed and full of comfortable silence.  In keeping myself at a running pace where I could keep up a conversation, I honestly wasn't even really sure Dimitri was doing what you would call 'running', but it was still a pretty good workout for me.  "How did breakfast go before you went back to your dorm earlier?" he asked.

"Good," I said, "I got lots of bacon and chocolate donuts.  But I'm guessing you're wondering about more than just the food."

"Is Adrian Ivashkov going to be a problem?"

I had to think about that for a moment.  "I'm starting to actually think he means well.  He's really trying to be nice to me," I said.

"Means well or not, he won't want us to be together.  You know that, right?"

 "I do.  He changed direction at breakfast and asked me not to talk to you about how I feel, too."

Dimitri said, "That's what I would do if I were in his place, Roza. You know I don't say this lightly: it would be hard for any man not to pursue you.  He may not fight fair if he thinks he has a chance to hold on to."

"You think he'd tell someone about us if he knew?"

"I'm pretty confident he would.  Back at the ski lodge in December, he once told me, 'I may not like to get my hands bloody, but I have no qualms about playing dirty.'"

Neither of us spoke for the next half-lap around the track as I took the time to digest what he had said.  "Dimitri," I said, thinking back to the time at the ski lodge when I walked off with Adrian and threw it back in Dimitri's face, "what would you have done if I'd become involved with him back in December, instead of loving you?"  I looked over at him for his answer as we continued to run.

"I'd like to think I would've been honorable, as long as you were happy.  I know I wouldn't have done anything that would hurt you," he said.  Dimitri's expression darkened, "but ... I don't trust him, I don't like him, and I don't think I could stand to see you with anyone else, knowing how I feel about you." 

I looked at him.  "How long?" I asked.

"'How long' what?" 

"How long have you loved me?  How long have you known?"

Without hesitation, he replied, "Since the night Natalie Dashkov attacked you outside the holding cells."  _That was six months ago!_ I looked at him, stunned, mouth wide open, for a moment, then looked back at where I was going.

"What do you think I should do about Adrian?" I asked, as Dimitri caught back up to me on the track.

I expected some zen-like wisdom from him, especially given the fact that he had a couple of days to think about this.  "I honestly don't know.  He's given you an out from having to tell him anything concrete by suggesting you not talk to me about it - and if you truly didn't, it really would've put the two of us in the same situation we were in a week ago.  But I don't like that it was his idea.  It creates an opening for him, to try to win your heart."

"My heart's already been won, though, Comrade," I said, "I know that, you know that, and he knows that."

"For now," he said, almost too low for me to hear, and then, at a more normal volume, "He might not believe that he's lost his chance yet."

"Just because he doesn't know that you know doesn't mean he doesn't believe that I love you.  I'm sort of out of options, here,"  I was starting to get angry, "If I tell him you know how I feel, and that you want to be with me, then that puts us at risk of exposure.  If I tell him you know and that you _rejected_ me, then he'll pursue me more and I won't have an excuse to ask him not to.  If I tell him I chose not to tell you, then from _his_ perspective, we're right back where we were a week ago - but you don't want me to do that because he came up with it and he'll _still_ pursue me more.  If I tell him nothing at all, he's going to know I'm hiding something, and that also puts us at risk of exposure.  But I've got to do _something_."  If it weren't for the running, I probably would've been yelling by the end of that.

"What do you want to do, Rose?" Dimitri asked, "You should be in charge of your own destiny."  It was such a shift.  Nearly imperceptible, but everything turned on its head with that statement.  Suddenly, we were on equal footing with each other in this.  He was giving me control in this.  And I was caught completely off guard.

Another half-lap around the track.  This silence wasn't comfortable, but I didn't have a good response.  I finally told him, "There's really no easy answer, is there?  The only thing that seems remotely right, for now, is to just tell him that I decided not to tell you and keep hiding the truth from him.  To everyone's eyes but ours, to keep going like we were a week ago.  "

Dimitri nodded.  "If that's what you want to do, and you feel like you can do it, then that's what I want you to do, and I'll support that.  Can you do it, though?"

"I think I can," I said. We circled another three-quarters of a lap in a more comfortable silence.

"The night when I left for Spokane," I told him, "At least, that's when I really realized it.  When we were sitting on the roof."

"You told me to take Tasha's offer that night ..." He said.

"I did. And then I left to go break up with Mason, because I knew I'd never feel for him the way I felt about you.  I never got the chance to break up with him, but I always felt guilty about that.  I haven't seen him since the wards were put back up, but, since I started seeing his ghost, I wondered if my wanting to break up might've been part of why he couldn't move on.  Like if maybe he knew ..." I stopped running, feeling my emotions start to overtake me.  I didn't blame myself anymore.  Not exactly, at least, but it didn't alleviate the pain and guilt for the way that I'd treated Mason.

Dimitri stopped, too, and turned to face me.  "No," Dimitri said, brushing a spare lock of hair back from the side of my face, and letting his hand rest near the side of my neck, "Don't think that way.  If anything, I think that maybe he's at peace now, knowing he helped to save others from the attack.  I think he would've wanted you to be happy, too."

I closed my eyes and leaned my cheek into Dimitri's hand. " _You_ make me happy," I said.

"My Roza, you make me happier than I ever imagined I could be.  I had purpose before, but I've never felt like my life had meaning before you were in it," he said, "Come on, it's almost time to get to the gym, anyways."

* * *

Dimitri and I had gone through weightlifting together more times than I could count, spotting each other through all of our sets.  It was usually uneventful, tedious, and repetitive work, but it had never been with the knowledge that we had this time. We were the only two people in the weight room of the gym this morning, and other than the eighties music Dimitri had turned on, it was quiet and somewhat intimate.  We began at the bench press, which seemed innocent enough.  Seemed, at least.

To properly spot someone on the bench press, the person lifting is laying down on the bench, which is about twenty inches tall, bringing the bar down across their chest, right at roughly nipple-level, while the spotter is standing just behind the lifter's head, ready to intervene if something should go wrong.  Intervening would involve grabbing that bar, which is right roughly nipple-level, and helping to remove it from the lifter's chest, from behind, possibly standing with the spotters legs almost directly around the lifter's head.

I'd dropped the bar twice before, always with an extremely heavy weight, and never on purpose.  It was a scary thing when the bar was crushing down on you.  You feel like you can't breathe - and in reality, you probably could crack a rib or crush a lung.  Dimitri probably saved my life by spotting me those days.  That was very different from today.

"Damn," I told Dimitri as I went for another few reps, looking back at him, "I've never wanted to drop this bar so much in my life.  If I didn't absolutely know I needed to take this all seriously, I'd drop it on purpose now just to have you over me picking it up, putting your hands on me."  I heard Dimitri inhale sharply and saw him adjusting the waistband of his shorts as he moved his stance closer to my head.  I wasn't sure if that moving forward was a willful move to distract my focus or if he truly thought I was going to drop the bar.  

"After you finish this set," he said "I'll do mine as quickly as I can.  Then, we'll move to the concentration curls with the dumbbells."

"You're not making it any easier to finish my set, Comrade," I told him, glancing straight up at his face, which was now above me.

Dimitri gave me a small glimpse of a smile. "My job's not to make it easier."

"I could hit myself with a hammer and it would make my workout harder, but that doesn't mean it would make it more effective," I joked, as I eked out the rest of my set, "There.  Done.  Your turn."  

I stood and let Dimitri load the bar with the extra weight he would need and get in position on the bench.  Since he was so willing to test my restraint in the same position, I decided to position myself directly above his face ... which was a big mistake.  Three things happened, in short order.  First, I could feel the heat of Dimitri's breath on my thigh. My breathing stopped when I felt it.  Second, I was absolutely sure that he could see up the leg of my shorts.  Third, Dimitri set the bar back on the rack.

"What are you doing?" I asked.  

Dimitri asked, "Is the room clear?  Are we still alone?"

"Yes, but - Oh!" Dimitri's lips were on the upper portion of my inner thigh, face buried inside the leg of my shorts, hands wrapped around my hips and squeezing my ass.  He placed a set of four soft, warm kisses higher and higher on my thigh, letting me feel the tip of his tongue on my skin for just a moment at the end of the fourth one, and then pulled away.

"I should probably ask someone else to spot me bench pressing for a few days until I can get used to the idea," he said, "that I can do things like that now, but that I shouldn't do them here.  We'd better move on to those curls."

I grabbed the dumbbell Dimitri had gotten for me off of the rack, put my right knee on the bench, leaned forward, placing my right hand on the bench in front of my knee, tucked my left elbow into my rib, and proceeded to curl the dumbbell with my left arm.  Dimitri was doing his curls on a bench directly in front of me, facing me.  And he was openly staring down my neckline as I bent over.

"Did I ever mention how much I liked that shirt?" he asked, continuing his gawking, "It's almost as nice as those black lace panties you're wearing."

"Shut it, Comrade," I said as I counted out the rest of my curls.  After I finished my set, I asked him, "Was there always this much tension when we were in the weight room before?"

"For me?  Every single time. Maybe more, because before it wasn't just the chance of getting caught that kept me from kissing you."

"Right arms now?" I asked, trying not to think about it.

Dimitri replied, "Either that, or we head to the equipment storage room for twenty minutes and brace the door with a chair, so I have a chance to see those panties again."

"You've put way too much thought into this, haven't you?"

"Right arms," he replied, "though, if we have time, we might duck into the storage room long enough for that kiss after we're done with sparring."

* * *

We were in the weight room for about half an hour.  The rest of lifting was as tense as it had begun.  As we headed in to the sparring area, Dimitri told me, "We've never been in a situation _exactly_ like this, but we've both resisted each other before.  It will get easier."

As Dimitri signed in to one of the sparring rooms off the outside wall of the gym on the clipboard hanging outside the door, I said, "No.  _You've_ resisted.  I never have."

He smiled as he held the door open for me to enter.  "Well," he said, "then think of this as a new training exercise in patience, focus, and restraint.  At least now, we have a chance to do something about it later, though some waiting might be required."  Dimitri got into the circle and stood in fighting stance.  "Are you ready?" he asked.

I nodded, setting my feet apart and getting my hands out, but looking into his eyes, noticing the dark chocolate color and the little flecks of darker brown.  While I was looking at his eyes, Dimitri came at me with his a slightly different tactic than usual, aiming his hands at my stomach.  I fended off his first attack, but it caught me off guard enough that I had to spin sideways away from him.  He swung out with a leg and tried to sweep it, sending me down to the ground, but I just managed to see his leg out of the corner of my eye to jump just in time to avoid catching it under mine.  Without being able to see him in front of me, I was at a definite disadvantage in this match, so I'd need to try to fix that.  I ducked, trying to use his size as leverage to topple him over my back, but he managed to predict my move in time to shift his weight back, grabbing me around the arms by the waist and pulling me down onto the floor, face up, my back to his front.  He wrapped his arms around my body in a cage so that I couldn't move my arms.  As soon as I was fully on my back, Dimitri rolled us both so that I was pinned underneath him, facing the floor.  Typically, this would be the time that he would mimic a pretend bite from a Strigoi to declare the first match over, but instead, I felt his lips kissing my neck.  "Match," he whispered in my ear.

Dimitri's hands moved quickly from my waist to the floor on either side of me, so that he could push himself to stand.  As soon as his weight was off of me, I rolled onto my back, but he was still above me.  Our eyes met for a moment, then Dimitri stood and offered me his hand to help me up.  "I'm not sure this is gonna get easier," I said, taking his hand and pulling myself up, then letting our hands linger together for a little longer than necessary.

"That was a nice jump and duck, but it was still over far too quickly," he said, "You should've seen ahead of time when I was going for your waist.  Your head wasn't in the game."

"You're right," I said, "I'll try again."  We both got into fighting stance again.

Accidentally grazes of body parts were not uncommon during sparring, happening maybe once every week or two, but they were usually quick and accompanied by an immediate apology.  I would hazard a guess that neither of us had any intention today of apologizing when they happened - or of those grazes being entirely accidental.  I had intentionally positioned myself for this match so that Dimitri's back was to the glass panel in the sparring room door.  He came at me again and this time, I was more than ready.  Dimitri aimed his first strike as a kick out at my legs this time, but I quickly blocked him with my foot, spinning into an elbow to the chest.  He wasn't able to block my elbow in time and I landed a blow, knocking the wind out of him.  Once again, I ended up with my back to him, and I went for the ultimate distraction, letting my hand trail dangerously along the front of his shorts, hearing a pleasured groan from him.  Then, I spun back around to get Dimitri back in my field of view and tried to go in with a kick of my own to the side of his calf.  Dimitri dodged the kick, but only just.

"You're not fighting fair, Roza," he said, as he went in for another punch that I didn't block quite as well as I would've liked.  I moved back and circled the ring.

"You should've seen that coming," I called back, taunting him, "Your head wasn't in the game."

Dimitri shook his head.  "Oh, Roza," he said, "You better be careful what you ask for with moves like that."  He launched at me again, this time positioning his hands to either side of my ribs, trying to knock me out of the ring.  I got right up to the edge of the ring and nearly fell over backwards.  As I started to catch myself, Dimitri caught my feet with his leg, kicking them out from under me.  Almost before I realized what was happening, he was laying on top of me again, this time with his hands caressing my breasts over my shirt, hidden by his body on top of mine. 

"What was it you were asking for at the bench press?" he asked, practically purring into my ear, as I took a moment to let my brain fight between trying to reclaim the match and letting him continue to lay on top of me and let his hands wander my body.  Finally, the battle instinct in me won out and I flipped us both over, quickly hooking my legs around his arms and pinning him to the ground.  I sat up, using my hands to pin his shoulders down.

"Match, Comrade," I said, suddenly hyper-aware of exactly where on his body I was seated.  I could see the look in his eyes that told me he was aware of it, too.

"Yes, Roza," he said, "Match," letting the word hang in the air for a moment as I sat astride him. 

I took a quick glance at the door.  From this angle, no one would be able to see us from the hallway.  I leaned down and kissed his lips, letting my fingers slide around the back of his neck.  I pulled back and said, "See?  Not easier."

"No," he agreed, as I stood, "Not yet."  He put his feet out under his knees, hands behind his shoulders, and kicked into a standing upright position in one fluid move.

"Storage room?" I asked, as my stomach suddenly growled.

"Two more matches first," he replied, "Then storage room, and _then_ I'll have to let you go so that you can get some breakfast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think of Dimitri's stuffy, formal email signature? I thought it'd be fun to imagine what an email from him would look like. I pulled his "Blood Master" rank information from <https://vampireacademy.fandom.com/wiki/Dimitri_Belikov>. Also, the Adrian quote is from chapter 14 of gigi256's Dimitri POV series Frostbite - it's a really great work and I can't recommend it enough.  
> Here's my new question of the week: How many women do you think Dimitri had been with before Rose?  
> I always got the feeling as I was reading the books that Dimitri - even with a slightly checkered past in his younger days - was too reserved to have had a lot of 'experience' - maybe only 2 or 3 women, at most - but I've certainly seen others' fan fiction where they either expressly state or imply a very different opinion.


	9. Compulsive Liar

After I finally 'got my head in the game' that morning, I won three out of our four matches, so I was already feeling pretty good about that, but the few minutes we spent in the storage room had me feeling extremely good.  It was so freeing to be able to just say, "I love you," and kiss each other.  Dimitri and I hated to leave each other for breakfast, but we knew that I'd have to separate from him before we drew too much attention and, as much as we both wanted to, it just seemed like we couldn't stay there loving each other forever.  I tried to take comfort in the fact that it seemed at least as hard for him to part as it was for me.

Though it was technically Moroi morning, several people weren't quite back on the normal schedule yet.  Due to the shift in schedule, the cafeteria was relatively deserted for breakfast when I arrived at eight forty-five, but I had also arrived fairly late after taking the time to shower away my sweaty workout.  I quickly grabbed some sausage and some awful scrambled eggs, which were watery and clearly made from reconstituted powdered eggs.  No bacon or donuts today, but I did get myself a glass of chocolate milk.  The food was horrible, but I had worked hard that morning and was too hungry to avoid it, so I downed it without really enjoying it. 

After I finished my food and prepared to pack things up, I remembered that I had told Adrian I would meet him at the library.  I looked at the clock.  We had never specified a time, but it was already almost nine twenty.  Breakfast would be over in less than fifteen minutes and he would be expecting me.  I had a little less than two hours until my next training time and I really needed to get more rest, so I'd have to hope that Adrian was there and that it would be quick.  Even if I wasn't longing to see Dimitri again, I couldn't afford to be late to my next training session.  I shelved my lunch tray and jogged across campus to the library. 

When I got there, there was no sign of Adrian on the ground floor, but I was hoping he'd be there with Lissa.  I opened my mind to the bond, but she had skipped breakfast and was in bed sleeping.  I walked up the stairs to the second floor and saw Adrian through the glass windows in one of the few study rooms off the edge of the library.  He motioned me over, so I walked into the study room. 

"Shut the door," he said.  I closed the door behind me, surprised at his curt, demanding tone.

"Hi, Rose," I said, sarcastically, "So nice to see you.  Could you please shut the door?"

"Sorry," he said, "I'm just a little tense with how much work I've put into this charm." He held out the necklace with the cross he had been working on with Lissa, showing it to me.  He flinched a little as he said, "Sorry it's a cross.  I know it's not your favorite thing.  I tried with a ring and that just didn't work out the way that I'd hoped.  Why don't you have a seat?"

I eyed the necklace speculatively.  "Is it ready?  Will it work?" I asked, as I sat across from Adrian.  

He nodded, unclasping the necklace and holding the two ends out to me.  "It is ready.  I'm sure of it. Can you slip it on and see how well it works?"

I put the necklace on and fastened it around my neck.  I immediately started to hear a voice in my head, _You're starting to have feelings for Adrian.  He's not such a bad guy, is he?  You're reconsidering how you feel about Dimitri.  He's too old for you and he only wants you for your body._   My eyes went wide as I realized what was going on - this was a compulsion charm! "Adrian!" I said, outraged, "You can't compel me like this!  You know this isn't right!"

Before I could turn away, Adrian took my hand, looked into my eyes, and said, "You know this isn't a compulsion charm - right? You know I wouldn't do that to you.  And you really want to make me happy by wearing the healing charm I made for you."  Something in his words seemed so true.  I should listen to what he was saying.  I did want to make him happy.

He asked me, "How do you feel about Dimitri? Do you still think telling him how you feel is a good idea?"

I was confused.  So, so confused.  I could still hear that voice in my head, telling me that I had to question my feelings for Dimitri; that my feelings for him were mistaken.  "I don't know how I feel about him."  My face fell.  What had I done?  Did I just give my virginity up for meaningless sex?  Had Dimitri taken advantage of me?

Adrian put his fingers under my chin and turned my face up to look into my eyes.  "It's okay," he said, "You don't have to talk with him about any feelings you thought you had for him.  You can just keep having a mentoring relationship with Dimitri.  Just keep it professional, and you'll be fine.  And you'd probably be better off to keep the necklace on to make sure its healing power is working on you." 

I could find a way to get back to just a mentoring relationship with Dimitri, and just keep it professional.  I _should_ keep the necklace on.  I nodded.

"Now," Adrian said, dropping his hand from my chin and letting me tilt my face down, "How would you feel about going out with me sometime?"  I could hear the smile in his voice.

I thought for a moment.  I'd need to find a way to put some distance between Dimitri and I before I started anything new, but maybe Adrian wasn't such a bad guy.  I could give him a chance.  I wasn't sure I was ready to start anything new, though.  Not right away, at least.

I said, "I think I might like that, but I need some time first."

"How about next week? Maybe on your birthday?  I could probably even get clearance to take you off-campus somewhere for your birthday if I brought a few campus guardians with us."

It'd be nice to get to go somewhere for my birthday, but my birthday wouldn't be complete without Lissa. "Do you think Lissa would be able to come, too?" I asked, "I wouldn't want to celebrate my birthday without her."

Adrian's face shifted rapidly, and his reply was almost a snarl, looking down at his hands and wringing them against each other.  "Lissa, Lissa, Lissa, why is it always about Lissa ...?  So much spirit in one place - maybe too much.  Maybe I'm using too much.  It could get _too_ spirited if we let it.  Never alone.  And alone with my thoughts all the time.  Alone with thoughts that drive me crazy.  Can't be alone with you.  Even if we're alone, there's always another person there.  Even if it wasn't another person, I don't think Lissa'd be allowed off-campus without _Belikov_." Adrian sneered on Dimitri's name, but his words were ramblings to me and made no sense until that last part. "We can't bring him along.  We can't bring the sole Dragomir outside the wards, so soon after an attack.  Attack - I feel under attack - "

"Adrian, stop!" I said, putting my hand on his, "You used a lot of spirit to make this healing charm, didn't you?"

Adrian focused, as I said that.  "Yes ... a lot ..."

"Get some rest," I said, "I need to get some rest, anyways. We can talk about going out on my birthday later.  We don't have to bring Lissa if we go, though."  I patted his hand comfortingly.  "We don't have to.  Okay?"

Adrian smiled and looked at me again.  "Okay, I'll get some rest.  Thank you, Rose."  He looked me in the eye with his dark green eyes practically boring into me. "Just remember," he said, "Don't take the necklace off."

* * *

 

After resting for a few hours, I was ready for weapons training, but I was nervous about what could happen with Dimitri. I had slept with my necklace on and took great care to get dressed in my workout clothes without damaging it.  I decided on a very conservative sweatshirt and sweatpants, hopefully revealing little and making it easier for him not to focus on my body.  I didn't want to lead him on or put ideas in his head.

As I walked into the weapons room of the gym, I saw Dimitri sitting on the mats reading a western novel.  As he heard my footsteps on the floor, Dimitri looked up and grinned at me.  I took a deep breath and walked in.  I took another deep breath and headed over to him, hoping I could just keep things to mentoring.  "What kind of weapons training are we doing today?" I asked, "Do I get to work with a stake again?"

Dimitri replied, "Actually, I thought we'd work with bo staffs today, but first ..." Dimtri looked around and then leaned down, bringing his lips near to mine. 

I put my finger to his lips.  "Would it be okay if we just tried to keep it professional for today?  I'm not sure it's such a good idea," I said. 

He nodded, "Okay," he said.

We went about the rest of our training session as we would have before, Dimitri teaching me all the moves.  There were a few odd moments where I could see that he looked confused by something, but we finished our training session and I seemed to have mastered the staff fairly well.  As I finished the last training move, Dimitri asked me, "So, storage room now?"

I took another deep breath.  This was what I was putting off.  "Could we talk?" I asked,  "Please?"

Dimitri pulled two chairs out and sat in one, giving me a curious look. "Sure," he said.  I sat in the other chair.

"I think ... what happened between us ... I think ... maybe it was a mistake?"  I flinched, not sure I would like his response, "That maybe it was a bad idea."

The color drained away from Dimitri's face enough that he could've been a Moroi, "What are you saying, Roza?"

I couldn't tell him that I thought he was using me, even if I absolutely knew it to be true.  "I'm sorry - could you please not call me that right now? I think it was just all a bad idea," I said, "I'm too young.  I wasn't ready.  I shouldn't have." 

Dimitri looked crestfallen - and hurt.  _Good_ , my mind told me, _he should be hurt by the fact that he took advantage of me_.

"You told me that you love me," he said. 

"I was wrong.  I shouldn't have.  It shouldn't have happened."  I got up from the chair.  "I'm sorry."

I saw an expression that I had never seen before on Dimitri's face.  If I didn't know better, I would've said he was going to cry.  I moved toward the exit of the gym.

"I probably shouldn't see you until our next training," I said, as I started to walk away, "I'll meet you at the track for our running later."

* * *

 

When I got ready to go to the track later, it was too warm out to wear my sweats, but I tried to still keep it pretty conservative and wore a t-shirt with my shorts.  When I arrived, Dimitri simply said, "Go do thirty laps," and he sat in the bleachers with one of his books.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting a little (okay - a lot) earlier than intended this week because of a conversation gigi256 and I had in the comments in response to chapter 31 of her Dimitri POV Last Sacrifice. So, as much as I desperately prefer 'Romitri' to 'Rodrian', I have to say that I feel like this chapter was definitely Adrian's alternate-reality revenge for when Rose and Dimitri had sex while she was dating Adrian and on the run with Dimitri. Sorry for those of you who root for him, but I just see a lot of potential for him and his love of Rose and bi-polar spirit madness to do some seriously dark things and that starts with trying to make her love him if the opportunity doesn't present itself.  
> Here's my question of the week: If you could use spirit compulsion on any one person for only one thing (which could be on-going compulsion, like Adrian's charm), who would it be and what would you have them do?  
> For me, I have a particularly difficult eight-year-old son who has some major behavioral problems that all almost always seem to stem from him freaking out over every little thing. I would use spirit compulsion to help him calm down and just not sweat the small things about life.


	10. Color Me Surprised (at My Feelings)

After running, Dimitri asked me to go to the edge of the track bleachers for today's Technique and Strategy topic, learning how to take a fall.  For better or for worse, he was very professional - and stuck to very few words.  After he demonstrated the technique a few times, he had me try landing on the ground from the edge of the third row.  My first fall went well, but my second was somewhat less than successful and I turned my ankle painfully on the landing.  I didn't feel it working right away, but, even if I didn't feel it right away, I was grateful to Adrian for the healing charm because I knew that would help with the swelling.  Dimitri asked if he could take a look at it to assess the injury. 

I wasn't sure I wanted his hands on me at first and I tried to protest, but he was rather insistent that I might need to go to the med clinic.  I sat on the bottom bleacher and pulled off my sock and shoe, letting him run his fingers over my ankle.  I was somewhat startled to find that his touch on my skin still felt like fire.  I may have been wrong about my feelings for him, but I couldn't deny the physical way my body responded. My mind wandered back to the feel of his touch on other parts of my body, then the feel of his lips.  I struggled to keep my breathing even and to keep my heart from pounding.

Through all of this, my mind was also struggling to rationalize the argument between my body and my heart.  Did I still _want_ Dimitri, even if I didn't _love_ him?  Could I be okay with having just a purely physical relationship with him?  And how did this play into the feelings for Adrian that I was starting to feel? 

Through all of this, I realized, Dimitri was trying his best to keep things professional, but his fingers seemed to linger a little longer than was necessary on my calf, especially near the sensitive spot at the back of my knee and where his thumb grazed the bottom of my thigh.  He asked me to flex my ankle one more time, then looked up at me.  "It looks like you might have a sprain.  I think you need to go to the med clinic," he said.

"Adrian gave me a healing charm this morning," I said, "Maybe I just need to wait for it to kick in?"

Dimitri said, "Your charm may not be strong enough for this.  I don't want you to make it worse by falling on it again before the doctor has had a chance to look at it."

Dimitri grabbed an ice pack for me out of the chest freezer by the track equipment shed, helped me to wrap it around my ankle, and started to walk me to the med clinic, offering me his arm to assist so that I wasn't putting weight on that leg.  Being this close to his body, my breathing wanted to become shallow again.  I needed a distraction.  "Dimitri, do you mind if I check in on Lissa while we walk?" I said, "I can still walk fine and it will help take my mind off of the pain."

"Okay," Dimitri said, as I tuned in to her mind. 

Lissa was with Adrian again, sitting at a picnic table in the middle of campus, working on auras.  "I think I can _almost_ see it," she said, as she squinted her eyes to try to focus on the golden color she had known was supposed to be around him.

Adrian offered, "Squinting into it only makes it harder. It'll get easier to see them without trying as you do it more.  You have to sort of un-focus your eyes to see it clearly.  Like you're looking at one of those 'Magic Eye' pictures, almost.  Maybe try crossing your eyes a little bit."

Lissa crossed her eyes, trying to look as he had suggested.  Suddenly, Adrian's aura came into perfect focus.  It was a sparkly metallic golden shade, with grey and black sparks like solar flares popping out of him into it from every direction.

"I see it!" she said, "Does mine look like that?"

"Not exactly.  You can see your own aura if you look in a mirror, though.  Ours - spirit users - are always that sort of golden color.  The darkness from using the spirit is kind of grey or black.  You don't have a lot of darkness right now, but your aura is tinged with a little bit of yellow right now, too, just right around the edges there." Adrian pointed vaguely to the space around Lissa.  "It actually shifted to the yellow when you saw my aura, showing your emotions.  I haven't figured out what all of the colors mean yet, but if I had to guess, yellow is happiness.  Strong emotions usually seem to turn the colors brighter - except for the emotions that come from the spirit darkness, of course.  You should see what it looks like when you and Rose are together."

I realized with an odd mixture of excitement and something else I couldn't put my finger on that Dimitri and I would be walking right past the picnic table on our way to the clinic.  She'd get to see what it was like when we were together sooner than she expected.  I wasn't entirely sure how I felt about Adrian seeing me this close to Dimitri, especially if being close to Dimitri was making me feel desire and both spirit users could see the colors that my feelings were putting out.

Lissa asked, "Do you have a mirror?" 

Adrian was wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants, carrying nothing in his hands.  He laughed, turned out his pockets, which only contained a wallet, and held his empty hands up, "Do I look like I'm carrying a mirror?  I've heard some girls say that they can see themselves in my pants, but I promise there's no mirror there."

Lissa looked to Christian, who had been sitting quietly at the picnic table with them as they worked.  "Do you?" she asked. 

He shook his head.  "Nope.  I don't need a mirror to know that I look good," he joked, giving her a wink and a quick kiss on the cheek.

At that, Lissa began rummaging through her book bag, looking to see if she had a mirror in it.

"Speaking of Rose ..." Adrian said, eyeing something behind Lissa.  She didn't have to turn for me to know that he was seeing Dimitri helping me limp to the med clinic behind her.  I quickly got out Lissa's mind from the bond.

"Dimitri," I said, "Lissa and Adrian are over there." I pointed to the picnic table. "Maybe we could see if one of them can heal me?"

"Okay, but make sure Lissa doesn't use too much," he said, "Remember that her darkness passes to you."  Dimitri steered me towards the picnic table.

"Hi guys," I said, once we were close enough that they could hear me.  Lissa was just pulling a small hand mirror out of her bag.

"What happened to you?" Lissa asked.

I shrugged.  "I was learning how to take a fall the right way.  Except, I didn't."  I sat down at the table next to Lissa, facing the opposite direction.  "Take the fall right, I mean.  Dimitri thinks it's sprained.  We were on our way to the med clinic."

Lissa grinned, saying, "This is a good chance for Adrian to practice healing.  Or - did you have that charm with you, Adrian, that you could give to Rose now?"

"Actually," I said, "I'm already wearing it.  Dimitri thought maybe it just wasn't strong enough for this."

"Adrian, can you try?"  Lissa asked.  Adrian walked around the table and kneeled on the ground in front of me, putting his hands on my calf.  After a few moments, his brow furrowed in concentration and I felt some small tingles of the hot and cold feeling that often accompanied spirit healing, but not like what I would feel when Lissa did it.  I saw Lissa watching him curiously as he tried to heal me.

"Wow," said Lissa, "Your darkness got darker.  And Rose's sort of brightened a little for a second, too.  Rose, does your ankle feel better?"

I tried bending it each way and poked at it with my finger under the ice pack.  "It still hurts," I said, "but not like it did."

Dimitri, who I had almost forgotten was standing a few feet away, asked, "Can you take off the ice pack and your shoe and sock?  Let's look and see."  I removed the ice pack.  The swelling had gone down, but it was still red.  He again ran his hand along the ankle.  I felt like Lissa and Adrian had new insight into what I was experiencing as Dimitri's hand passed over my bare skin.  I momentarily checked the bond, to see what Lissa was seeing.  My aura was a dull brownish-red with the same flares of grey she had seen in Adrian - though not as much black to the darkness as he had.  What was Adrian doing that was using so much spirit?  At least there were no bright colors in my aura, so hopefully that didn't raise any red flags with anyone.  Dimitri's, on the other hand, was a very bright, almost shining, reddish-pink with some flashes of orange. 

Lissa looked over at Christian, as he took her hand.  I was surprised to see that his was also a bright pink shade with some splashes of red as he looked at Lissa, but I didn't have long to think about it because then it shifted to a dark green color as he looked at Adrian.  Adrian's eyes were focused on Dimitri and me.  His aura also had a more pure shade of red and some of the same green around different parts of the outside edges of the gold now, almost like a Christmas ornament.

"I think it looks better, but I wouldn't rule out getting you to the clinic," Dimitri finally assessed, letting go of my ankle.  Lissa saw Adrian's aura shift back to golden with the black flares, more black than they had been before healing me.

"I could try to heal you now, Rose," Lissa offered, "just the rest of the way from what Adrian already did."

"Okay," I said, "but not too much - alright?"  She nodded, and leaned down to put her hand on my ankle.  The feeling was much more powerful than when Adrian had healed me, but it only lasted for a second.  After she let go, I felt no pain at all.

I said, "I think I'm better now."  We all looked down and saw that the swelling was gone.

"Now would be a good time for that mirror," said Adrian, reminding Lissa that she had found one.  Lissa held up the mirror and looked at herself. 

I hadn't told Lissa that I could pull the darkness from her, but I suspected Adrian knew it.  I pulled a little, trying not to pull too much.  I watched through Lissa's eyes as the flares of grey shifted out of her aura and then saw them enter mine.  Lissa's eyes went wide as the whole thing happened in front of her.

Dimitri interrupted, "Rose, we were almost done with our training when you fell, so I'm going to call this good for today.  We'll work on falls again tomorrow.  I'll see you at our 7:30 weight-lifting."

"Okay, comrade," I said, without thinking about the nickname I'd used hundreds of times.  We both winced a little.  Dimitri began walk off, as I started to put my sock and shoe back on.

Lissa asked Adrian, "What do orange, green, red, or pink mean?"

Adrian looked around at all of us, including Dimitri's back as he walked away, and narrowed his eyes momentarily.  "Orange," he began, "I'm not sure, but I see it often in the person I see it in now.  I think that light green might be peacefulness or strength, but darker green is something different.  Darker green might mean sort of selfish or greedy, I think - or maybe jealousy.  Red might be a couple of different things, but I'm not entirely sure what it is.  I see red in my parents when they are lecturing me about my 'bad decisions' and are starting to yell, so I think maybe that's anger, but I've seen it other times for completely different things.  Pink, I have no idea, but, again, I see it often in the person who has it now.  Who knows - maybe pink's similar to the red?"

"Are you mad at Rose?" Lissa asked.

"Not at all," Adrian replied, as he put his hand out across the table and laced his fingers into mine.  Feeling his fingers touch mine seemed to have a calming effect on me.  It wasn't exciting, per se, like I would get when I touched Dimitri, but it was just ... nice.

Lissa exclaimed, "Look at that - Rose has a little bit of light green now!"  I almost wanted to cover myself, hearing my emotions were colors on display for everyone to see, even if none of them knew what they all meant.  She frowned, "Oh, but now she's turned back to reddish-grey again.  I'll never get these all figured out!"

For some reason, I felt the need to console her in this, even though she was exposing all of my emotions right now.  "Liss, it'll be okay.  You'll get the hang of it," I said.

"But I really want to," she said, " _You've_ been able to tell my feelings - and feel them, outright - for almost three years now, and I still have no idea what you're thinking most of the time, Rose."  She mentally added, _I might be able to tell how Dimitri feels about you to see if he loves you, too._   I shook my head.  Her smile fell.

"Oh.  Christian, Adrian, can Rose and I have some time alone?  It's almost five, anyways.  We'll meet you at dinner if you want to head over to the cafeteria."  They both said yes, then Christian and Lissa said their goodbyes, and Christian headed to his dorm before dinner.

Adrian pulled me aside for a moment, looked into my eyes, and said, "Remember to leave the necklace on, okay?  I want you to get better.  I care about you, Rose."  Adrian pulled me into a hug.  I really wanted to keep the necklace on.  "Think about my offer.  I'll see you at dinner," he said, and walked off.  I was starting to think about his offer.  I was pretty sure I was developing feelings for him.

As soon as they were both gone, Lissa asked, "Why did you shake your head, Rose?  Did you tell Dimitri - and he didn't love you back?" 

"No," I said, putting my face in my hands, "Liss, I think I made a big mistake."  I went through the story and told Lissa everything, starting with all of those times in training with Dimitri in those first few months back, all the way up to this afternoon when I talked to him in the gym after our bo staff training.  I left nothing out, no matter how conflicted my emotions were, knowing I needed to share everything with her.  I could feel Lissa's emotions mirroring the story as I went, relieved to finally share this all with her.  I poured out my heart to her, and she listened without judgment. When I reached the end, my emotions were a roller-coaster, all the feelings I thought I'd felt and all that I'd gone through with Dimitri coming up to the surface.

"But you told me yesterday that you loved him," she said, finally, "and that he loves you.  Are you sure you were mistaken?"

"I think so," I replied. "Maybe it was just the darkness making me confuse what I am feeling."

"Rose, what were you thinking and feeling when Dimitri was checking your leg earlier?  Was that anger?"

I asked, "Honestly?  You want to know?" 

She nodded.  "I want to know because I want to know you - and I want to be able to help you get a better grip on what you're feeling.  And what Dimitri's feeling, if I can read his aura better.  When I was looking at everyone earlier, you and Dimitri both had red when he was touching your leg, though Dimitri also had pink and orange in there.  I still don't know what that red meant."

I had to hold back on telling Lissa that I was watching through the bond as she was looking at all of us, but I really should tell her the truth if it would help her learn how to use her powers better, especially since reading auras didn't add to the darkness.  I covered my face and looked at her through my fingers.  "I was thinking about how good his hands felt on my body and how much I still wanted him, even if I wasn't in love with him."

Lissa said, slowly, "I'd say it was lust, but Christian had that same red and pink when he was looking at me at the table, too.  I don't think his feelings for me were lust, exactly, so maybe attraction?  Do you still want to be with Dimitri - even if you don't love him?  I mean, if that's what you want, I'm not going to judge, but it seems like a bad path to go down, especially if you were to get caught."

"I don't know ....  I'm not sure I would, but would it be bad if I said 'yes'?  I mean, it's like I told you, the sex was really, really good.  Absolutely mind-blowing, actually - to the point where I was almost wondering how he learned how to do all of that.  Part of me would really like to do that again.  I know that's the way some promised guardians operate, too - just _encounters_ with no attachments.  If I'm right that Dimitri only wants me for my body, that might fit the bill.  I want my heart to be a part of things, though.  I'm not sure if I could do that, to just have the sex with nothing else.  Especially with Adrian around." 

"Put some thought into it," she said, "no need to make any decisions right now without thinking it through.  It could be really awkward if the three of us are all together at court, though.  Do you know if Dimitri cancelled his request for staying on at the academy?  Or if he requested a different assignment at court?"

"I don't know.  I'll try to find a way to ask about that when I have our training after dinner.  What do you think the orange or pink in his aura is?" I asked.

"No idea," she said, shrugging, "What about Adrian?  What are you feeling about him?"

"I don't really know that, either.  He has been so good to me lately.  Even Dimitri said that he thought Adrian was starting to care for me.  I think, maybe, I'm starting to have some feelings for him, and I'm sure he wants to date me.  Tatiana wanting to keep us apart complicates things, though.  I don't know what'd happen if we started dating and she found out.  Adrian had asked me this morning if I would go out with him on my birthday.  He said he thought he could convince someone to let us go off-campus.  I'm guessing that meant he'd be using more compulsion to do it, though."

"Rose, there's a couple of other things you should know about Adrian.  When I was looking at his aura and he was talking about the colors, it changed when he was mentioned pink.  It could've been for the right reasons, but I think he might've been hiding something.  But also, I saw a lot of darkness around Adrian - much more than I did with you.  Maybe too much.  He has been wielding a lot of spirit and he seems a little unstable, like maybe he's at a tipping point.  Even as he was saying goodbye to you, his aura seemed to gather more darkness in it.  I also saw dark green - jealousy - on two people: Christian when he was looking at Adrian - which we sort of knew - and Adrian when he was looking at Dimitri with you.  If he's at that tipping point, don't give him a reason to think he has a chance with you if you're not sure about it.  You deserve to be happy, but you also don't want to set him over the edge by any relationship choices you make.  He might do something we'd all regret."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done! I am on some kind of a crazy roll here, especially considering I was expecting my progress to slow down over this holiday season. My next week I have vacation, so I don't know if that means more writing or less yet. If you've been reading this (or trying to), I might suggest using the Subscribe button in the upper right so that you can see whenever I happen to get around to writing something. I've also been trying to do a fair bit of reading of other peoples' stuff, so if you have something you've been writing or reading that's good, let me know in the comments and I'll be glad to give it a look!  
> Here's my question of the week: What fictional character do you think you are most like?  
> For me, I'd love it if I could say I was like someone brave or strong or wise, but life doesn't always work out like we plan. I think my personality is most like Cookie Lyon on Fox's show Empire. I charge in and say or do stupid things I shouldn't, without knowing the full consequences of what I am about to say or do, but I love my family and try to put them first, no matter what, even if it doesn't always seem to benefit them.


	11. I Want You to Want Me

As Lissa and I entered the cafeteria, I saw Adrian standing by the door. I was still all sweaty from my running and wearing my workout clothes, but I ran out of time to shower and change.  When he saw us, he walked over and circled an arm around my waist.  It seemed odd, since I hadn't even given him an answer yet about dating, but a voice inside me kept telling me that I was starting to have feelings for him and that I should give him a shot.  Queen Tatiana's worries about us, however, were a different matter.

"You look so sexy when you're all sweaty like that, little dhampir," he said, "It's a good look for you." 

"Adrian," I whispered under my breath, "thanks, but do you think it's a good idea to be so publicly affectionate with me with the queen wanting me to stay away from you?"

"Little dhampir, you worry too much," he said.  Though I didn't smell the cloves hanging around him anymore, I could tell that he'd been back to his usual heavy drinking.  "If I tell Aunt Tatiana that I want to be with you, then I will be with you.  Have you given any more thought to my offer about going out with me?"

I'd barely had time to think about anything except training that day, but that voice in my head kept telling me _Give Adrian a shot.  He's not such a bad guy.  You're starting to have feelings for him._ I told him, "I haven't had time yet, but I think I maybe _could_ go out with you.  If we do, I'd like to take it slow, though.  And, if it's okay with you, can we keep it a secret, for now?  Just until we're sure this isn't going to cause problems with Tatiana?"

"Do you really want a hidden, secret relationship, little dhampir?" asked Adrian.

I nodded.  "For now, at least," I said.

Adrian tapped my nose with my finger and winked, pulling his arm away from me.  "If that is what you want, then clandestine we will be.  Maybe the forbidden fruit will make it all the sweeter," The comment was not entirely lucid, but not the craziest thing I'd ever heard.  I wondered if I should be worried about spirit craziness getting to him.  "Meet me out by the picnic table we were at earlier after your weight-lifting tonight?"

"Okay," I said, "but not for too long."  

* * *

 

By the time I got to my evening weight-lifting, I was really starting to feel tired.  Many of the other novices and guardians were still transitioning back to a night schedule and were already sleeping, so the gym was still very vacant, except for the two of us.  A couple of stragglers had drifted in to the weight room earlier on, but they were long-since gone.  "I don't suppose you'll let me off easy this evening, since my sleep schedule's all fucked up from the time change, huh, Comrade?" I asked Dimitri after the first half hour, not thinking twice about our usual banter until after the words were out of me.  

"Not likely," he replied, "seeing as that I already let you off easy this morning.  You need all of the training you can get if you want to be the best in your class.  I want to see you get three sets of twelve reps of deadlifts at a hundred fifty pounds - now.  Show me how well you can do this, and I will consider letting you get done a _little_ early."

I went over to the rack, loaded up the bar, and began to lift the weight.  My body was tired, my brain felt fried, and I was really struggling.  All I wanted to do was curl up in bed.  I was really starting to regret the fact that I had agreed I would be meeting up with Adrian later, too, but I was too busy with what I was doing to think about that.

"You're slipping, Rose.  You can do better than this," he told me, as I finished counting out my twelfth repetition of my third set, "You're barely keeping your spine straight.  Keep this up and you'll be dealing with a back injury."

"Maybe if you'd stop being such a huge dick," I whispered under my breath.

Dimitri looked at me, appalled. " _What_ was that?" he asked, though he clearly heard me.

I walked over to him, got right up to his face, looked him straight in the eye, and spat at him, "I said, 'Maybe if you'd stop being such a huge dick'.  Although, maybe you just like to be that way."  

I saw several emotions cross his face at once.  Dimitri's appalled look turned to desire, then absolute shock, anger, horror, sympathy, and sadness all crossed his face.  He gripped my left arm with his right before I could walk away. "Wait," he said, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a calming breath to steady himself.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," he said, barely a whisper.

"Sorry ... what are you sorry for?" I asked.

"Roza, I don't know what I'm sorry for because I don't know what I did.  I don't know what I should've done.  I've clearly hurt you, and I don't want that.  I can't help loving you.  I'll always love you.  You seemed so sure you loved me, too.  I wouldn't have been with you if I thought you weren't sure."

Guilt seared into me as I realized that, even if he didn't really care about me, even if he was pretending even now, I had been the one who had gone to him, I had thought I did love him, and asked for everything that happened in his apartment.  I had brought it all on myself.  And being this close to his face, a part of me still wanted him. 

"Dimitri," I began, "it's not your fault.  I may not be sure of how I feel anymore, but I knew what I was doing.  Even if I didn't know, I _knew_ what I was getting myself into.  I can't hold it against you."

I stopped.  His arm was still holding me in front of him.  The idea of a purely physical relationship with this beautiful Russian sex god standing before me was suddenly sounding like a wonderful idea.  "Well," I said, pitching my voice seductively low, "Maybe I could hold _me_ against you ..." There was confusion on his face, then that look of desire again.

Dimitri's whisper was low and breathless.  "Rose, what are you saying?"  His hand still gripped my arm.

I smiled at him.  "Storage room?"

Dimitri gasped slightly, releasing my arm, but neither of us backed away, "I thought ..." he began, "I thought you didn't want us to be together."

"I didn't.  I don't," I said, shaking the haze away from my mind, as I moved in closer to Dimitri's face, holding his gaze, "but I do.  I want you.  And I think you want me, too." 

I glanced around the gym, verifying that we were still alone, bringing my face close enough to his that I could feel his breath on my lips.  I didn't kiss him and he didn't kiss me, but our lips came together at once, my arms circling his chest, his hands tangling in my hair.  I gently nipped at his lower lip, tasting his tongue and feeling his breath enter my body.  His lips began to trail across down my cheek to my jaw line, then kissing the soft hollow of my neck, near my ear.  I let out a little moaning sigh as his hands began to press my shoulders, bringing me tighter to his body.  "Roza," he whispered against my neck, and I felt that one word echoing through my whole body.

"How 'bout that storage room now, Comrade?" I asked, half-dazed from the pleasure of his lips on my body, already imagining them circling my breasts.

Like that, the moment was broken.  Dimitri let me go.  "Stop, Roza," Dimitri said, pain marking his expression, "I can't ... I can't do this."

I was confused - and hurt.  "'Can't do this'? Can't do what?"

"I can't be with you like this!"  Dimitri turned his back to me and walked away.  As he was at the doorway, he said, "Lifting is over for tonight.  Be on the track at six."

* * *

 

After I showered, I headed to the picnic table.  The morning sun had begun to rise, so all of the overhead lights on campus had started to shut off, but the sun was still low enough on the horizon that the table was in shadow.  I was earlier than I expected to be, so I wasn't sure if he would be there, but, I just saw Adrian cloaked in the shadow of the nearest building, holding a glass bottle of bourbon in his his hands, when I got close to the table.

"You're here, little dhampir," he said, with a smile in his voice, "Ha! I made a little rhyme!"

"Are you drunk?" I asked him, sitting across from him at the table.  It was too dark to tell if his eyes were glassy, but I suspected that they were.

"What, this?" he answered my question with a question, "I can handle my alcohol fine.  I can handle a lot more than this!"

"Maybe I should just leave," I said, getting ready to get back up from the table.

Adrian grabbed my hand. "Wait," he said, "Look, I barely drank a quarter of the bottle.  I'm fine.  I haven't even had a cigarette all day, just like I told you I wouldn't."

I sniffed and smelled only the alcohol on him. "Are you okay, Adrian?  You seem a little out of it."

He reiterated, "I'm fine!  I just needed to see _you_!"

I was exhausted.  I started to get ready to tell him that I was tired and wanted to go to bed.  Again, I heard the voice saying, _You're starting to have feelings for Adrian. You really like Adrian.  He's handsome and sweet.  You want to be in a relationship with him.  You want to make him happy._

"Can you tell me about your day, little dhampir?"

I opened my mouth, ready to say how I was tired, but I thought about that voice.  I really didn't want to lose his interest. "Okay," I said, "but there's not much to tell.  I'm still pretty tired from switching back over from the daylight schedule and Dimitri's been riding me really hard in the gym." _Oh, God, what did I just say to him?  Did I really just say that?_   "I had six hours of training today, and it sounds like it's going to be that way for a while.  Not a lot of breaks today, but this is probably more than I'll get for a few weeks once the field experience starts back up again."

"Tell me all about your day and your complete schedule." he asked, looking into my eyes with his dark emerald green gaze. I was sort of surprised at him wanting to hear it all, but it seemed very sweet.  I felt like I needed to tell him everything I knew about my schedule, and not leave any details out.

"First, I did running, then lifting, then that little break where I went to have breakfast and saw you in the library.  After that, I had weapons training, and - Oh! I got to learn how to use a bo staff!  Then I had lunch and a two hour break where I just went back to my dorm room for a while, but I had some laundry to -" 

Adrian cut me off. "So this is the schedule you'll have for the next few days until field experience is back?" he asked.

"Yes, including Sunday this week," I replied, "except they're giving me my battle marks from the attack tomorrow at three.  They've worked it out so that I'll keep getting extra training once field experience is back on, so I'll probably have a lighter but similar schedule after I'm back guarding Christian.  I'm not sure what Sunday schedules will be once I am back on, but there should be some more time then, I think."

"So you have an opening after lunch, and another after dinner?" he asked, grinning.

"That's the plan," I said.

He looked in my eyes again, "You'll be spending that free time after lunch or dinner with me, then, until the field experience starts back up." I knew I would be spending my free time with Adrian.  I wanted it badly.

He turned away, and winced, as if he were in pain, gripping the bridge of his nose.  "Rose," he told me, "I suddenly have a really bad headache and neck-ache.  Could I ask you to come around the table and give me a back massage?"

"I guess so," I replied, standing up to walk around the table.  I almost didn't notice that Adrian wiped blood away from his nose as I was coming around the table.  He opened the bottle of bourbon and took another deep swig from it.  I started to put my hands on his neck while standing behind him where he was sitting, but Adrian turned, one leg on each side of the bench, so that I could sit behind him, legs around him.  As I sat, Adrian leaned forward slightly.  

"Thank you, Rose," he said, as my fingers began work on smoothing out a knot in his neck.  "I needed that."  Adrian placed his right hand on the inside of my thigh beside him.  A chill ran through me.  I couldn't decide if it was pleasure or discomfort, but my breath caught.  "Is this okay - for me to touch your leg?" he asked me, "I just really wanted to be close to you, little dhampir."

My brain froze, not sure how to answer.  The voice was telling me again,  _You're starting to have feelings for Adrian. You really like Adrian.  He's handsome and sweet.  You want to be in a relationship with him.  You want to make him happy._

"Yes, I think it's okay.  You just caught me a little off-guard, is all," I replied.

"Good," he said, as I continued to smooth the knots out of his neck. 

I felt his hand rubbing my thigh, and inch slightly higher.  "That feels really nice," I said, "but it might be moving just a little fast for me."

Adrian moved his hand back down my thigh to my knee.  "That's fine," he said, taking another swig from the bottle, still open in his left hand, "We have time."

The voice in my head was still there, telling me about my feelings for him.  I wanted to show him I cared and appreciated him.  After I finished massaging his neck, I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his chest, giving him a hug from behind.  I craned my neck to meet his and kissed him gently on the side of the neck.  "Thank you, little dhampir," he said, setting down his bourbon and wrapping his hands around mine, trapping them up against his chest, "I feel a lot better now."

"You're welcome," I said, "I want to make you happy."

"You're beginning to," he said, "And I'd like to do the same for you.  Remind me when it's time to leave that I want to reinforce your healing charm on your necklace, okay?"

I smiled.  "Okay, Adrian."

"In the mean time, little dhampir," Adrian said, turning his face towards mine, "can you kiss my neck like that again?  Or maybe my lips?"

I gave a light chuckle as I gave Adrian a very prim peck on the lips. "There," I said, smiling.

Adrian turned his body on the bench so that he laced his legs under my right leg and could face me fully.  He caught me in his emerald stare again and said, "You want to kiss me, don't you?  I mean, _really_ kiss me."  I _did_ want to kiss him.  How does he keep knowing these things in my head before I do?

I leaned in to his lips and kissed him deeply, twining my hands in his artfully-messy hair.

"That's better," Adrian said, as the kiss ended, again capturing my gaze with his eyes, "Now, before I forget, very important, whatever you do, make sure you wear that necklace.  You'll want to keep getting the healing power from it as much as you can."

"Yes," I said, "I do want to keep getting the healing power from it as much as I can." 

Out of the corner of my eye, about a hundred or so yards away, I saw a very tall someone turning away from facing the direction where Adrian and I were sitting, and walking off into the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who celebrate it, Merry Christmas. Whatever your beliefs, I hope you find joy and peace in this holiday season.  
> Woohoo, another one done! I am feeling really good about my progress. I've been debating for a little while and I might be taking most of the month of January off of writing or reading fan fiction, so I'll try to get as much done as I can before then.  
> I have big plans for some crazy twists in the future next several chapters, including Adrian's compulsion necklace coming off, Zmey having some _serious_ words with both Adrian and Dimitri, and more.  
> Here's my question of the week: Do you have a fitness routine? If so, what is it?  
> Although I worked out quite a bit my last few years of college, I didn't really pick up a steady workout routine until about 7 years ago. Since then, I am up at 5 most every day, hitting the elliptical and dumbbells.  
> As I mentioned in the chapter 8 author notes, my husband is a pretty athletic guy who spends a lot of time in the gym, and I've always sort of assumed that, though Mead mostly glosses over all but the running, Rose would've spent time doing weight training and all sorts of other strength-building and conditioning besides just the running and all of the fighting training. I've been trying to sort of subtly showcase some fitness stuff that I pictured Rose could've been doing, as well as having some fun with the details on things that I thought could've been a little 'intimate' about those things.


	12. Building Block(age)s to Success

When I arrived at the track the next morning, Dimitri was there in the stands, reading his book and he had quickly barked out that he wanted me to do thirty laps.  After I finished the running, I walked over to him.  "Hey," I said, "I'm done now.  Now what, Comrade?"

Dimitri got up, carrying his book with him, and started to exit the track area.  "After you're done here, Guardian Bondar has agreed to help out with some of your training," he said, with his back to me, "He will be meeting you in the weight room for your lifting session this morning.  He should be there now."

* * *

 

When I arrived in the weight room, I found Yuri there waiting for me. "Hey, Yur - I mean Guardian Bondar," I said to him, "I heard you're going to help train me.  Where do you want me to start?"

"Rose, 'Yuri' is fine.  You're close enough to graduation and we fought shoulder-to-shoulder in the caves on Sunday.  And I know you've been pretty ... close ... with Dimitri," he said.  The way he said it left me to believe he had an idea of what had happened.  "He gave me all of the details of your previous training and left a pretty detailed schedule on what he'd planned to go over with you.   Can you start out at the bench press?"  

"Yeah," I nodded, as I headed over to load up the bar and get situated on the rack, "How many reps?"

As I positioned my hands on the bar, Yuri said, "Four sets of ten.  Is it okay if we talk - well, mostly me talking and you listening - while you lift?"

"Okay," I said, as I lifted the bar.

"I don't know what's up with you and Dimitri as of last night," he began, getting in place to spot me, "but I have seen enough to know that there's something there.  More than just mentoring.  Hell, I told him last week, it's really no surprise considering how much time you spent together."

"What?!?" I growled angrily, as I mentally counted out the first ten of my lifts and set the bar down, "And you thought you'd start trying to get me to fool around with you, now that he and I aren't on such great terms?"

"Not even close, little girl," he said, almost a little condescendingly, "I don't swing that way.  Quite frankly, if I had to pick anyone around St. Vlad's that I'd want to be fooling around with, I'd be much more interested in the person who practically begged me to replace him this morning than a novice almost fifteen years younger than me that he's afraid to be alone with right now."

"Ooookay, then!" I said, stretching my arms as I prepared for my next set, "So, what did you want, then?"

"Something's up with you two," he said.  "I don't know what it is, but the man is hurting.  And I think you better fix it."

"Why me?" I asked.

He replied, "Because you broke it."

"Can I trust you?  To keep things to yourself?"  

"Yours wouldn't be the first guardian romance I've kept a secret," he offered.

"How much do you know?"

Yuri began, "He's been treating you differently than all of the other students on campus, for months now.   Dimitri's whole personality has changed since he started training with you.  When we were on the plane back from the Dashkov trial, I don't know if you even realized he was there, he was holding you and brushing your hair back.  Thankfully, I think I was the only one there who saw him kiss your temple on the plane - and the only one at Spokane who spoke Russian well enough to understand what he was saying when he told you, 'Thank God you're alive.  I thought I lost you,' when you were in shock after we found you.  He might as well have just come out and said that he loved you." 

"It wasn't real!" I spat back as I finished my next set, "He didn't love me.  He was just using me.  And that has stopped now."

"You really think that?  Just last week, I told him that if he was willing to take a court job, he might be able to stay with you and be together. You know what he told me? He told me on Wednesday that he put in transfer paperwork, but figured it probably meant taking a desk job to get it to go through.  You really think he wants that desk job?  You really think that he doesn't love you?" he asked.

I replied simply, "Yes," as I went for the bar to do my next set.  His words seemed so true, and something about them pulled on my heart in ways I didn't want to understand, but the voice in the back of my head kept saying, _The feelings you thought you and Dimitri had weren't real.  You were mistaken.  It was all a mistake._

"Well, I don't."  Yuri was quiet for a moment, then said, "But he wanted you to be trained and felt like he wasn't the right one to do it all right now.  So, until you two can work it out, until he feels like he's ready for you to deal with it, or until you graduate, I'm gonna be here.  For your weight training, your sparring, and your martial arts.  I don't have a problem with being your friend as well as your mentor, but keep in mind that I'm mostly doing this for him - not you.  And don't think this comes without compromise from him, either - Dimitri offered to take an extra hour and a half of gate guard duty from me for every hour I train you."

* * *

 

The ceremony that afternoon was scheduled for three o'clock.   I had told Adrian during our time together after lunch that I would probably need some time before the ceremony to prepare beforehand, and left him rather quickly.  When it was time to go, Adrian walked me to my dorm, then looked me in the eye at the doors and said, "Rose, you're dying to kiss me right now."  I _was_ dying to kiss him, but I didn't know it until he told me.  Adrian leaned down and our lips met, his arms around my waist and pulling me flush to his body, hands coming to rest on my butt cheeks. 

I pulled away, blushing, but his hands were still on my ass. "I thought we weren't going to be so public about our displays of affection," I said, seeing several novices pass by us entering the dorm, eyes practically popped out of their heads as they tried to gawk at the two of us making out.

"I know," he said, "but you're just so delectable, little dhampir.  I just can't help but want to kiss you.  And touch you."  On the word 'touch', he gave my ass a little squeeze.

"But what if Tatiana finds outs?  She could prevent me from being a guardian, entirely.  I'm not ready to deal with that."

He said, eyes closed and face pressed up to mine, gently rubbing his nose to mine, "Oh, Rose, I already told you that you worry too much.  Just let it go."

"I can't.  If I don't get to be a personal guardian, I might never get to see _you_ , either.  Would you care then?"

Adrian smirked, "Damnit, I hate it when my girlfriend has a good point I can't dispute that means we have to be apart for a while."  He removed his hands from my body and moved a step back from me.

I smiled. "Girlfriend?" I asked.

"Isn't that what we are now?" he replied.

I looked around and waited for a few more novices to pass by the door, then gave him a quick peck on the lips, saying, "I guess we are."

* * *

 

I sat in the chair with my hair pulled aside as best as I could.  Some of the strands had caught in the clasp at the back of my healing necklace, which I hadn't taken off in over twenty-four hours.  I prepared for the sting of the needle.  As Lionel, the resident guardian tattoo artist, came to stand behind me, he said, "Novice Hathaway, you'll have to take off that necklace.  I can't get in to a good spot to put your battle mark while you're wearing it."

It took me a few minutes to untangle it from my hair, then I unfastened the clasp and dropped the necklace into my pocket, and saw Dimitri sitting in the chair beside mine.  For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, all of the voices in my head talking to me about Dimitri and Adrian were silent - not just quiet, but completely gone.  All of the confusion I had felt, all of the mass of seething emotions I had been feeling and dealing with, told me one thing: I loved Dimitri.  As Lionel added the new mark to my neck, I sat mulling over the past day, with frightening clarity.  Dimitri loved me.  We had been together.  I had let him go.  I had _kissed_ Adrian.  My world was spinning. 

As soon as Lionel put the finishing touch on my _zvezda_ mark and told me to get up, I stood, and looked up to see Dimitri standing from his chair.  His chocolate brown eyes met mine.  In front of all of those people, I couldn't say anything, and couldn't do much, but I prayed that my eyes would convey to him all of the regret, sadness, longing, despair, desire, and love that I was feeling when I looked at him.  I heard his breath catch for a minute as he looked at me.  As we both walked off to the side, I grasped his hand for just a moment, giving him a gentle squeeze.  I hoped there would be time to talk to him before he left.

Not that these things were intended to be a celebration or anything, but for the second marking ceremony in a row, I found myself unable to enjoy the food.  This time around, they'd made some kind of peanut butter chocolate pie that normally would've looked incredibly delicious, but I could hardly stand to take a bite of it.  I left my plate on the table when I noticed Dimitri sitting alone at a table in the far corner of the room and walked to sit beside him.  "Can we talk, please?" I asked him, reaching for his hand as he started preparing to stand and walk away.

"What is it?" he asked, voice deep, both demanding and somber. 

I didn't know how to say what I needed to say - or even what I needed to say.  I sat there, wide-eyed as I tried to gather my thoughts.  "I don't know," I said, honestly.

"That's what I thought, Rose," he said.

As I tried not to raise my voice, I cried, "Wait!  Please - just, please!"  I felt tears threatening to fall and I pushed them back, but I knew he could see it in my eyes.  "I don't know why, but I thought you were just using me for my body.  I was afraid and confused.  I realize now that I was wrong."

"Aren't you with Adrian Ivashkov now?" he asked. 

"Yes, but - " I began, before he cut me off.

"Didn't I see you kissing him last night?  Didn't I see him putting his _hands_ on you in front of your dorm this afternoon?  You can't just turn your feelings - or my feelings - on and off whenever it's convenient for you." 

My brain couldn't even begin to reconcile what he was saying, even though I knew it to be true.  How had this happened? "But I don't love him," I said, "I love you."

"It's too late for that, Rose.  I should've known better.  You were too young, but with all that you'd gone through, I couldn't see just how little you knew yourself and your own heart.  You don't love me.  You don't know what it's like to love someone.  And even if I can't stop loving you, I _can't_  let myself love you." 

"Wait, Dimitri, please!" I was practically begging, "I don't know what's going on, but I feel like I haven't been myself for the past day.  Please can't we just have some time to talk about this?  Could you run with me again this afternoon, and talk?"

"I'm cancelling your running this afternoon.  Go be with Adrian," he said to me.  Dimitri got up from the table, and walked to the trash, throwing away his pie.

One of the tears trickled out of my eye, I reached into my pocket to grab the healing charm, hoping it would help with emotional pain, too.  To my relief, it did, as the voices that gave rise to my doubt about Dimitri came back, letting me know I had made the right choice to not let him hurt me anymore.  _I was wrong about our feelings for each other.  I was mistaken.  It was a mistake._   He was playing with my heart.  And he wouldn't do it anymore.

I saw Dimitri exit the room as I clasped my healing necklace back around my neck. 

* * *

 

After I left the reception, I sought out Lissa through the bond.  To my relief, there weren't many other people with them, and she was with Adrian in the common room of her dorm, practicing spirit again. I headed over to the dorm to join them.

Although dresses or skirts weren't really going to work when you're sitting on a stool facing the whole room, we were always encouraged to dress up for a molnija ceremony, so I was wearing a pair of slacks with a dressy v-necked satin blouse.  When I arrived in the common room, Adrian let out a low whistle.  "Little dhampir, it was worth it to let you go early.  You look like you came straight out of my dreams," he said, then came close and put his arm around me, then whispered, quiet enough that I was sure Lissa could still hear, but that hopefully the other Moroi in the room couldn't, "Though in my dreams, I'd probably end up with that shirt on the floor.  We'll have to see about smuggling you into my room and getting that off of you."  I blushed and tried to pretend like the others in the room couldn't hear me.

Adrian looked at each of the other four Moroi in the room and individually asked them to leave the room now.  I could see from their glossed-over stares that he was using compulsion on all of them.  After they had all gotten up and left, Adrian said, "Now that that's done ..." and gave me a passionate, deep kiss on the lips, taking long enough that Lissa coughed a reminder that she was still in the room.

 _You're dating Adrian now?_   Lissa asked me through the bond, after he released the kiss.  I smiled and shrugged.  _Rose, this isn't like you._

"Have you given any more thought about your birthday?" Adrian asked me.

"What about your birthday, Rose?" asked Lissa.

"Oh," I tried to breeze by the fact that she couldn't come, "Adrian asked me if I wanted him to arrange for him to take me off-campus for my birthday next Sunday."

He asked again, "Will you?  Please?"

I hedged, "Tatiana won't find out about it, right?  And people won't be talking all about it later?"

Adrian offered, "If that's what you want, then I can keep the knowledge to as few people as possible."

"Am I going, too?" Lissa asked, brightening a little.  This might've been the first time, ever, that I'd been offered the chance to go off-campus for something that wasn't a school activity without Lissa.

I frowned.  "Sorry, Liss ..." I said, "Adrian just didn't think that he'd be able to get approval to take you off-campus so soon after the attack.  Especially without bringing Dimitri along.  But otherwise, I'd really like you to go."

"I understand," she said, "Nice to see you wearing that healing cross, though.  Adrian tried with a golden ring first.  If it would've worked, it would've fit on your thumb, I think, but it didn't work out so well.  That, and we figured you'd have to take it off while you were in the gym."

"Yeah," I agreed, "I probably couldn't lift weights with a gold ring on my thumb."

Adrian interrupted, "Ladies, ladies, we're getting off-topic here from the _really_ important stuff: Rose, are we going on your birthday?"

"I guess so, Adrian.  Set it up," I said.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And ... I've finished another one, folks! Sorry about the bittersweet part with Dimitri there, but I promise better things are eventually ahead. It will probably get just a bit worse before it gets better, though, so I apologize in advance for that. You're going to start to see the repercussions of Adrian's near-constant compulsion on Rose and what is quickly becoming his obsession with her. Also, I hope you liked that little vignet with Yuri in the weight room and we'll be seeing more of him. Gigi256 really brought him to life in her works - I know, I know, I keep mentioning her stories, but they are just _so_ good - and it just seemed right to have a little more of this guy.  
> Now, then, here's my question of the week (if you can call it that, considering I've posted two chapters in two days!): Other than Rose and Dimitri, who's your favorite Vampire Academy series character to read about?  
> I think my answer would have to be Adrian (after Dimitri and _then_ Rose, in that order). I don't really like him as a person, per se, but to me, he just makes me think of some bad decisions that I wanted that I've (luckily) narrowly avoided.


	13. Lost the Will to Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warning:** The last section has some extremely dubious consent. If you're uncomfortable with such things, you may wish to skip over that part.

"Three more," encouraged Yuri as I closed in on the end of my walking lunges, "You got this, Rose."

"My legs and ass feel like jello," I said, as I took the last lunge, "but thanks for helping me through this, Yuri.  I really appreciate your help."  

"This is all on you, Hathaway.  Well, you and Belikov's training plan that he drew up," he said.  Although I was kicking his ass in sparring more often than I'd expect, as mentors go, Yuri was surprisingly decent.  He was great at encouraging and motivating, but, other than the encouragement, I wasn't sure how much of his mentoring really came from the plans that Dimitri had given and how much was Yuri shooting from the hip.  I had started to learn that Yuri was definitely not a stickler for by-the-book and liked to change things up.  "Dimitri had down for you to do some seventy- or eighty-pound calf raises on the machine after this, but how about instead you do them up over on that box with a couple of fifty-pound plates?"

"Okay," I said, "A hundred - really?" I asked.  Yuri nodded. "Wow, that's more weight than I've done before.  Are you sure I can handle it?"

"Yeah, actually I slid the pin in a few further down for your last set the last time you were on the machine.  Just so you know, I've been updating him with all of your progress and he keeps changing up what he is having you do.  Man like him would never come out and say so, but I can tell he's really proud of you."  

"Really, Yuri?" I asked, surprised to hear it, as I started to do my calf raises.

"Really," Yuri replied.

"But he still can't stand to touch me,"  I said, "Yesterday, during weapons, we were working on knives and switchblades.  When it got to the part that I was actually working with our practice blades on hand-to-hand fighting, I got into a position where he was able to circle around behind me and use the blade against me and get it up to my neck, with his arm around my body.  As soon as he was standing so close like that, he immediately stopped the hand-to-hand part of the training and went back to throwing and grip!  How am I supposed to learn if he can't come in contact with me?"  

"For fuck's sake, Rose," said Yuri, "Didn't I already tell you this is your fault?  Fix it.  Just go to the man and kiss and make up."

"There are _so_ many things wrong with what you just told me!" I said, picking the weights back up for my second set, "So, first, You're an instructor at a school who basically just told a minor student to go make out with another instructor. And, second, I already told you - we're not like that anymore, because he was using me!  Third, - You promise you won't say anything if I tell you this?"

"Not a peep," he said, "I just want everyone to be happy, you included.  And considering you're less than a week from being eighteen, I'd hardly call you a minor.  In the human world, you and Dimitri are close enough in age that you might be in college classes as students together right now.  But, I won't say anything.  Even if you and Dimitri were fucking like rabbits, I'd keep it to myself.  Hell, if you _were_ fucking like rabbits, I might even have to ask you for details."

"Third is that I already sort of tried that - and it clearly didn't work.  That's why he asked you to come train with me."

"What do you mean you 'sort of tried that'?" Yuri asked, as I finished my next set and set the weights back down, sitting on the box I had been standing on the edge of.

"Dimitri and I were ... together.  After the caves.  I snuck into his apartment that night.  It was pretty great, at the time, honestly, but then it just seemed to be all about the sex and I started questioning everything.  I think I just rushed in too quickly without being really ready.  And it was pretty clear from his responses to me afterwards that he just wanted me for my body.  So, I told him it was a mistake."

"This conversation we're having is important, but don't get distracted from the lifting we're here for.  Do your last set now," Yuri said, "Then go do some good-mornings.  Same weight and reps as yesterday."

"Sure," I said, half-heartedly, as I wanted to forget my workout and just let this all out to someone completely impartial who was going to maybe have some good advice for me.  I grabbed the weights and got back up on the box.

Yuri picked the conversation back up without missing a beat, though:  "You haven't already experienced being a guardian out in the field for a few years, have you?  It's a pretty solitary, lonely life.  If you've had nothing but your own hand to keep your warm at night for three years, you've been fighting the urge to be with someone for almost an entire year of that time, and then you're finally together, the dude's _gonna_ need at least a few times to really get it out of his system.  Plus, I may be gay, but I still know how hetero guys think, Rose, and I hear what the other guys around campus - not just the novices, either, I'm ashamed to say - say about you in the locker room when they think nobody else is listening.  Straight guys want you - badly.  Dimitri's not immune to that."

"I've known that he was attracted to me for months now, ever since the night Victor Dashkov kidnapped Lissa." I started loading the bar to do my good-mornings.

"That's it," Yuri replied, "Dashkov wasn't shitting us about that 'attack charm', was he?"

"God, does everyone have to know that now?  Seriously, aren't there any secrets at this school?  I didn't really have a problem with him feeling that way about me, but after last week, it just seemed like he didn't care about anything else about me.  But that's not even all of it, either."

"Is this where the 'I already sort of tried that' comes in?" Yuri asked.

"Yeah, it is.  So, I sort of still want him - sexually, I mean," I said, guiltily.

Yuri interjected, "Don't we all, sweetheart?"

"And I was thinking maybe an all-physical relationship with him wasn't so bad, after all, as long as we were clear that was all it was ... and I may have offered ..." I let the unspoken words trail in the air as I finished my set of good-mornings.

"You _didn't_?" Yuri asked.

"I did," I said, setting down the bar, "the day after I told him it was all a mistake.  But he wouldn't go there."

"Well, of course not," Yuri said, like it was as matter of fact as that the sky was blue, "For argument's sake, let's say that the guy truly only wants you to get in your pants.  Not that I believe that for a second, but let's say it, for now.  If you guys banged, then you told him that it was a mistake, and then asked him to do it again, do you really think he'd rush to take all his clothes off and do it again?  And honestly, - start your next set now, Rose - I really don't believe for a minute that it was all about sex and he didn't love you.  If you were in love with someone and they offered you a sex-only relationship, would you be able to lock your heart up and just be purely physical with that person?"

"There's more," I said, thinking about the first part and ignoring the second part of what he just said.  The voice in my head kept telling me,  _The feelings you thought you and Dimitri had weren't real.  You were mistaken.  It was all a mistake._

"Seriously?  This is pretty fucked up already.  I'm almost to the point where I want to train you completely on my own, just so Dimitri doesn't have to see you."

"Not helping, Yuri," I replied, taking a minute to collect my thoughts as I went back for my last set of good-mornings, then uttering, as if it were all one word, "Dimitri saw Adrian Ivashkov kissing me."

"What the hell are you doing kissing him for?" Yuri asked, "I mean, I know he's hot and rich, but the boy's a player.  And I don't know if I've ever seen him sober.  Besides, Royal Moroi don't exactly take guardians home to meet mom and dad, either."

"I don't know," I said, "Adrian really likes me.  He even offered to stand up to the queen for me.  I'm not sure what I feel about him.  I mean, he seems so sweet sometimes.  As complicated as it all is, I think I might have feelings for him, too."

"Girl, you have a complicated life," Yuri said, "but here's what I know: if you're gonna be Vasilisa's guardian, you'll go wherever she goes, and protect her with your life.  That doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room for romance, at least once you graduate, because she will _always_ come first.  They come first.  If you want to be her guardian, un-complicate things.  And at least part of that starts with getting your _real_ mentor to work with you on everything again.  Maybe that means you and Dimitri aren't together, but you've got to do something to get him to be fully engaged in your training again, especially if he is cutting stuff out of your training to avoid being close to you."

"You're right, Yuri.  I know you are.  But I'm just not sure how to do that."

"Well, figure it out," he said, "Oh, and by the way, I've seen the field experience attack plans.  I know that Dimitri is scheduled to be in a group that will attack you again in your field experience Wednesday, so don't hold back.  If you fight him hard when he attacks, he'll be forced to go on the defensive to fight back.  He won't be able to avoid facing you."

"Speaking of field experience," I asked, "What does my training schedule look like during that?"

"Dimitri said he'd email it to you before end of day today, but I think it's basically just shortening the existing stuff and moving them to the early morning hours and while your charge is in class.  If you get to running in the morning tomorrow and he hasn't sent it to you yet, you should ask him about it."

* * *

 

"I'm going to miss this free time with you when you start back up on your field experience tomorrow," Adrian whispered, sitting next to me on the couch in the lounge.  Lissa and Christian were cuddled up together on the other couch and we were watching a scary movie.  It was a little chilly in the lounge, so Adrian and Lissa had each pulled out a blanket from their rooms to share.  None of the other Moroi had joined us in the lounge and I was suspicious that Adrian had used some compulsion to keep them out.

Adrian had wrapped one arm around my shoulders, while the other was holding my hand under the blanket.  He'd really been so good to me.  He had even re-charged the healing charm in my necklace every night.  The voice in my head, which seemed to almost constantly be there now, kept telling me I had feelings for him, but it had recently begun to tell me other things, like _You really find Adrian attractive.  You keep thinking of kissing Adrian.  You'd like to be alone with Adrian more_.

"Look at me, please, so I can kiss you," he said in my ear.  I looked into his eyes and he kissed my lips. As soon as my eyes flickered back open, Adrian caught my eyes again with his emerald ones and whispered, "Let's fool around under this blanket while we watch the movie." 

I was a little worried about what Lissa and Christian might see, so close to us.  From the bond, I could tell that Lissa was focused on the movie.  The volume was turned up enough that they wouldn't hear anything.

He held my gaze for a few more moments and repeated himself before I replied, "I guess so," and kissed him again. Within a few moments, I was feeling him pull the blanket up higher and begin sliding his hand inside the hem of my t-shirt.  His fingers on my skin weren't sending the flames of heat that I had felt with Dimitri, but he knew what he was doing and quickly maneuvered his hand so that he was touching my breast through my bra, with a finger gently stroking my nipple. My eyebrows shot up in surprise, feeling his hand on me like that. 

I told him, in his ear, "That feels nice."  Although it didn't send those flames through my whole body, it was definitely pleasant.

"Yes, it does," he replied, whispering back, a little huskier than before, "Can you look at me again?"  I looked. "I bet what you really want to do now is stroke my dick," he said, meeting my eyes with his, and then kissed me.  I wasn't sure I wanted to stroke him like that, but I was considering it.  This seemed to be moving awfully fast. Adrian said to me, again, looking in my eyes, "You really want to touch me, don't you?  I'd really love for you to touch me.  I think you'd like it, too." 

Maybe I did, a little. 

"Okay," I said.

"Would you like me to unbutton my jeans for you?" I nodded.  Adrian's hand came out of my shirt for a minute or so and then he resumed his fingers on my nipple as before.  "I unzipped them, too," he whispered in my ear, momentarily catching my earlobe with his tongue.

A few minutes later, my hand inside his silk boxers - of course they'd be silk -, Adrian whispered, breathing deeply and licking at my earlobe, "This feels so good having your hand wrapped around me, Rose.  Maybe on your birthday next weekend, we can find some real alone time and I can feel the rest of you wrapped around me."

I whispered, "Weren't we supposed to be taking this slow?  I'm not sure I'm ready."

"You've had sex before, haven't you?" he asked me. 

I froze for a moment.  If I told him 'yes', I might have to tell him that I'd been with Dimitri.  I replied, "None of the other students have really been worth it to me.  I've gotten close to having sex a few times, so I sort of have an idea of what I'd be doing, though."  I saw the corners of Adrian's mouth turn up into a deep grin.

He whispered, "Okay, I can wait.  Then, when you're ready, I'll be your first."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, somewhere along the lines, I decided that Yuri has a pretty foul mouth for an instructor talking to a student. As the first semi-openly gay character that we've really encountered in the Moroi/dhampir world, it just seemed like it'd be nice to make him a bit unorthodox (and give him more candidness) than your average instructor. I hope he was as fun to read as he was to write.  
> Sorry that things are taking a sort of dark path here with Adrian, and they are still going to get worse before they get better, but we're closing in on the end of the tunnel (maybe 3-4 more chapters before Rose is back to loving Dimitri again).  
> Since this will be my third chapter in the past 7 days, I'm going to forego my 'question of the week' this time around. I have some vacation for the holiday week, so I'm hoping to find time for another chapter or two before I go back to work on the 3rd.


	14. Coming Out Swinging

Once my week had started back up again, my training was rearranged so that I was doing most of it before Christian left the dorm room in the morning or in the afternoon while he was in class. My running was still with Dimitri, mornings before Christian was up, and Dimitri was always in the stands for it.  Weight training after my morning running was cut into upper body day and lower body day, sparring and martial arts were each reduced to every other day after my morning lifting, and technique and weapons were alternating each afternoon while Christian was in class.  Weight training, sparring, and martial arts were still always with Yuri.  Evening running had been cut.  Dimitri was intentionally picking weapons that would put me at arms' length.

My first couple of days of being back at field experience, the guardians on campus were all hitting me pretty hard.  I noticed that they all seemed to be doubling up on the few of us novices who had been at the caves every time they attacked us, so I guess that I had to consider that a compliment. 

Yuri telling me that I was going to be attacked by Dimitri on Wednesday was really against the rules, but it would give me a nice advantage, since I knew to keep an eye out for him.  The fact that my additional training would take me away from Christian for portions of each day helped me to narrow it down and be more prepared for the times that I knew I'd be guarding him.  Yuri had said it would be a group, so I knew that Dimitri wouldn't be alone, either.  I was really taking Yuri's advice to heart and had been planning what to do and how to do it - to take out the others first and go in for Dimitri afterwards, forcing him to fight me.  I would be relentless and fight as hard as I could, as if my life - no, make that Lissa's life - depended on it.

By the time lunch came, I was practically bouncing on my toes, waiting for Dimitri's attack.  Lunches during the field experience were always a bit strange because the novices still needed to eat, so we get to sit with our charges, but our charges were still supposed to be guarded during that time, which meant that the time we had to eat was greatly reduced and that we couldn't stray too far from our charges and had to eat whatever food they were eating instead of moving to other food stations. 

The weather was warm, for a change, so Christian had picked out a spot outdoors to eat his food.  Lucky for me, Christian also had a fondness for pepperoni pizza, so I got to eat a slice of it before getting back into my standing position to guard him.  Lissa and Adrian had both scurried off to the feeders, but Christian was still picking at his food and talking to Jill Mastrano about the training session that would be starting later that week. 

Jill always seemed to find it difficult to stop talking and she was chatting about how excited she was when I saw it out of the corner of my eye - someone wearing all black. I immediately slid my practice stake out of my holster and turned towards the attacker.  Guardian Chase.  I would take him out fast and find the others.  He was about ten feet away on my left, the stake in my right hand. 

I quickly turned as I saw him approaching to find the other threats around me.  No sign of Dimitri, yet, but I saw Jean hiding in one of the bushes, trying to wait for her opportunity to ambush me.  Three against one weren't phenomenal odds, but I had done it before.  I swung around, stake extended, and Guardian Chase blocked me with arm.  I had pushed my stake in hard enough to stake a real Strigoi, so when I missed, I swiped my practice stake across Guardian Chase's forearm.  Since the practice stakes were blunt-ended, it didn't draw blood, but it was sure to leave a pretty good bruise for him later.  I kicked my legs out at Guardian Chase's calf and saw him fall to the ground, instantly pouncing into a kneeling position to stake his chest. 

One down, two to go. 

Jean bounded out of the bush she was hiding behind.  It looked like they were going to take turns this time, which was all the better.  Jean was one of the few guardians who wasn't much taller than me, so all of my training to fight against taller opponents wouldn't really help me here.  She got in a punch to the mid-section of my back, which I'm sure would bruise later, but for now, the adrenaline was taking over.  I didn't have time to swing around and face her properly before she would be on Christian, so I caught her with an elbow to the chest, then kicked my feet behind me, trying to take her out at the knees.  She didn't go down like Guardian Chase did, but I could tell I knocked the wind out of her with that elbow.  While she was momentarily stunned, I spun to face her and positioned myself between her and the Moroi.  I aimed a left hook at her face, followed by a right with my stake hand.  She blocked the left, but the right connected with her cheek.  She went to punch me back, but I was still faster than she was, so I ducked her punch and aimed a sucker punch to the stomach with my left hand.  She doubled over for just a second, which was long enough to reach out and stake her with my right hand. 

I turned and assessed. 

Dimitri.  Across the table, coming towards me. 

I hopped up and slid across the surface of the table, connecting my landing feet in a kick to his stomach, immediately knocking him to the ground on his back.  Dimitri looked dazed as I came to the ground, my feet on each side of his abs.  I used my right arm to punch his face.  I heard a crack as my fist connected with his nose, but he pulled against my legs and practically flipped me in the air onto my back.  I steadied myself from falling by moving my feet backwards.  Dimitri used the move to toss me off from him and immediately kicked up into a standing position.

Once he was standing, Dimitri's nose was gushing blood.  I'd put money on the fact that I'd broken it.  I felt bad about it, especially since he'd had such a beautiful face, but even if I wasn't trying to hit him extra-hard, we truly were supposed to hit them with all we had and I really couldn't make an exception in his case. I was also literally trying to hit Dimitri harder than anyone else, so that he'd be forced to fight me.  Hitting him with a punch that wouldn't have broken it was just insulting.

I danced around him, drawing out the fight.  I wanted to hit him hard, but I didn't want to take him out too quickly.  But he wasn't fighting back at all.  "What?" I taunted him, "You gonna be afraid to fight me now?  No chance of calling Yuri in to finish this one?  I think you've got a little something coming from your nose, there, Comrade - maybe if you'd been fighting back instead of _letting me beat you_ , it wouldn't be bleeding so hard right now."  

That did it.  Dimitri swung out at me, aiming for the middle of my face.  I ducked, and he mostly missed, punching just above my left eye.  I could feel that it was bleeding a little, but it wouldn't be bad.  I went to kick his legs, and he jumped over my kick, coming back with another kick of his own, aimed at my head.  I reeled backwards just before his kick was able to connect, and used my body's momentum from moving backwards to kick him in the side of the ribs.  When my foot hit his ribs, I heard the most sickening crunch sound as Dimitri crumpled to the ground.  I staked him quickly to conclude the battle and then realized this was not a normal injury. 

The black thermal he was wearing was sticking out at an odd angle just in front of where I had kicked my foot, and his breathing became very shallow and gurgly. I leaned over him and he looked up at me.  "Roza," he breathed, placing a hand, covered in his own blood, on the side of my face, "I'm sorry.  You deserve better." He dropped his hand, the effort to breathe taking too much out of him.  The outside of his thermal was wet with Dimitri's blood.  I must have kicked him so hard I had punctured a lung with his rib! 

I didn't know what to do.  I panicked.  "Jill, Christian," I practically yelled, "Run!  Get Lissa or Adrian - or both, now!"  I took the healing necklace off of my neck, readying to place it on him. I pulled Dimitri's head into my lap, holding him close.  As I looked at him and the pain he was experiencing, I realized that I had just hurt the man I loved very badly.  If Adrian or Lissa couldn't arrive in time to heal him, he could die.  All because of some stupid training.  

"Dimitri," I whispered, cupping my hand to his face and letting a tear fall from my eye, "I'm so, so sorry.  I don't ever want to hurt you again.  I love you so much.  Please live.  I don't know how I can ever make this up to you, but I'll try."  I placed a kiss on his forehead as another tear leaked out and fell next to his nose.   Dimitri closed his eyes, floating out of consciousness.  I carefully circled the necklace around his neck, clasping it and tucking it under his thermal to make sure it was in contact with as much of his skin as possible, hoping it would be enough to keep him alive until they arrived and saying a silent prayer that God would let him live through this.

A few seconds later, Adrian and Lissa came.  Dimitri was still breathing, so I knew that they could heal him.  "Liss, Adrian, I hurt him," I choked out, "I hurt him really bad."  I lifted up the thermal he had been wearing and the hard protective plastic chest-piece that covered his sternum and heart area for staking so that they could see the purpling of his ribs and the skin sticking out at an odd angle. Lissa and I both gasped as we saw the bone jutting out of his side. 

"I think I punctured his lung," I was crying now, "Please, heal him." 

I moved back to give them some space as both Lissa and Adrian leaned over Dimitri, putting a hand on each side of his ribs, Adrian on the punctured left side.  I'd never watched a spirit healing of this magnitude up-close before, but I knew that it would be something to see.  For a moment, the surface of Dimitri's skin sparked with waves of glowing light passing over him.  The rib that was sticking out began to rotate back into the correct position and the wound began knitting itself closed.  I watched in awe as the injuries all disappeared. 

Dimitri's eyes fluttered open and his gaze immediately went to Adrian, sitting over him.  "You ... saved me!" Dimitri exclaimed, looking at Adrian with unfathomable awe. Dimitri put his hand on the side of Adrian's face.  Lissa was already standing, going over to sit by Christian, holding him and worrying if he was alright.

"Aww, shucks," drawled Adrian, "I couldn't just let you die, Belikov.  Besides, Rose would hate herself if she killed you - right, little dhampir?"  Adrian tossed me a wink.

Suddenly, Dimitri's face flashed to something else, a look I'd only ever seen before when he was looking at me.  It looked almost like ... desire? 

Dimitri, still lying on the ground with his shirt pulled up, leaned up towards Adrian, lips parted.  As confusing as it was, it looked almost as though he might ... kiss him?  What was happening here?  Adrian looked at me and went to stand up.  "I think my work here is done, little dhampir," he said, as he crossed over to me, put his arm around me, and gave me a kiss on the lips.  What was I doing here kissing Adrian again?  Shouldn't I be kissing Dimitri right now?

"Thank you, Adrian," I said, gut still wrenching with guilt, "I could've killed him."

"But you didn't," he replied, and kissed my brow, making me feel the sore spot where I had been hit during the fight, "You better get back to guarding your Moroi now, _Guardian Hathaway_.  I'll see you later."  He winked again and walked away as Dimitri stood up.

"Dimitri," I said, as I walked back up to him, "I put my healing necklace on you when you were hurt.  Could I have it back, please?"  He looked at me almost sort of angrily, nodded, and reached inside the neckline of his thermal to unclasp it. "I'm really sorry that I hurt you," I said.

As the necklace left his hands, a look of shock crossed his face.  It must've still been working some healing onto him until he let go of it.  I started to tell him that I loved him and was glad that he was alive, as I was re-fastening the necklace, but the voice in my head began to tell me all those reasons why I ended things with him again.  "I'm glad you're okay," I said lamely, "Are you mad?" 

"No," he replied, scowling at my necklace, "Not at you, at least."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh, relief. Well, now that that's over with, we can start to go back to Dimitri treating Rose like the love of his life again - even if she doesn't treat him that way yet.  
> Since it's officially a new week now (and will soon be a whole new year), I figured I'd go ahead and kick off a new question of the week, so here it is, inspired by Rose and Christian's meal of choice in this chapter: what are your favorite and/or most despised pizza toppings?  
> For me, I love all of the meat toppings, including shrimp (discovered this at a little hole-in-the-wall mom-and-pop pizza place in Michigan). I'm also pretty fond of mushrooms (fresh, not canned), green peppers, and olives, but I _absolutely can't stand_ pineapples (or fresh onions, but that's a different story) on a pizza. My husband is constantly trying to ship the Hawaiian pizza and it just makes me want to hurl.  
>  **Fruit absolutely does not belong on the same pizza as marinara sauce and mozzerella cheese.** (Drops mic)


	15. Locked In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** Another section of dubious consent at the end of this chapter. Most everything after the second break is somewhat questionable, but certainly everything after the third.  
> 

As I walked into the gym for weapons training that afternoon, Dimitri looked up.  He had two chairs set up near the small table with today's weapon of choice - nunchucks - on it and was sitting in one of them. 

"Rose," he said, uncharacteristically warm for what I'd come to expect lately, flashing me one of his rare full smiles, "I'm glad to see you.  Can we talk about what happened during the attack this afternoon?"

"Sure," I said, not sure what to expect, taking a seat in the other chair.

He took a long moment to talk and I almost thought maybe he had reconsidered talking.  "I almost died today," he said finally, "You almost killed me."

"I know," I said, "and I'm so sorry.  I feel horrible about it."

"I don't," he said, decisively.  I was surprised to hear that. "You helped me realize something.  Something important."

Another long pause.  "And that would be?"

"A lot of things, actually.  For one, you helped me to see what an amazing guardian you are going to be.  You may be beautiful, but your skills are deadly and absolute." I felt myself blushing a little at his words. "You are going to be absolutely indomitable.  I want to be a part of cultivating that.  I want to go back to training you - in all of your training - again."

"That'd be great, Dimitri!"  I said, "Have you talked to Yuri about that?"

"Not yet, but I will have to re-adjust the schedule a little to make up for some of the time I had him cover some of your trainings. It might be tomorrow or Friday before I am able to be in all of your trainings.  If you're okay with it, I'd like to add some additional training on your days off on Sundays, too.  I know it's your birthday this weekend, so I understand if you want to wait until next week for that." 

"Actually," I said, "Adrian has been talking about taking me off-campus for my birthday.  I haven't been outside the gates for anything, well,  _good_  since the trip to Missoula in September."

"I can't fault you for that, Roza," he said, using the Russian version of my name, "Another thing you helped me realize, though, is that I don't want to give up on you, and that life is too short to hold back.  I know you don't think I love you anymore, but I'd like to try to prove it to you.  And I'm going to fight for you.  You are welcome to go with him and I won't try to stop you, but, I want you to know that I don't want you to go.  And I want you to know that I'm going to find a way to prove to you that I love you."

My eyebrows shot up as I blurted out, "Does this mean that you'll be going back to being with me?  In a physical sort of way? Like I offered?"

"Yes and no," he said, "I'm not opposed to kissing you when we're alone - _if_ you want me to - but I won't use you or take advantage.  As long as your feelings aren't there with mine, I won't do more than kiss you."

I frowned.  A sex-only relationship without anything really resembling sex wasn't really what I was thinking of - but maybe I could bring him around to it...

"What else did you realize?" I asked.

"I realized that I'll always be here for you and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. And I realized that there is someone in your life that I have good reason not to trust.  I can't tell you more yet and I don't know how, but I'm going to find a way to get that person away from you."

The first sentence he said was terrifying, maybe treasonous.  For a dhampir to be saying that to another dhampir, especially a guardian to say it, was dangerous. He should be pledging his life to protect Moroi, not me.  _They come first._   They should always come first.  And yet, something about his words stirred something in me, despite the voice in the back of my head telling me he didn't love me and I didn't love him.  This was monumental.  It meant more than I could even comprehend.

The person in my life that he couldn't trust was a puzzle to me - one that terrified me in a different way.  The voice in the back of my head may have kept telling me that we didn't have feelings for each other, but I knew that he was someone I could trust with my life because he had proven it over and over again.  "Are you sure you can't tell me more?" I asked.

"No, Roza.  When the time is right, I will tell you.  For now, just know that I will train you as best as I can and stay close to the situation," Dimitri said.

"So does this mean that we can do more hands-on training again?" I grinned.

"Yes, Roza," he replied, preparing to stand, "Shall we get to the lesson now?"

"Absofuckinglutely, Comrade!" I replied.  He shook his head and laughed as we walked to the other side of the table, "So are you really okay with what happened earlier?"

"Roza, I know you feel guilt over what happened earlier, but I know you weren't trying to hurt me and I am truly okay now," he said, as he began picking up one of the pairs of nunchucks and rotating and twisting them around in his hands, preparing to demo how to use them, "A lot of that has to do with the fact that you sent Christian and Jill to go get someone to save me."

"A lot has to do with the healing necklace that Adrian gave me, too," I said, "He really saved your life in more than one way this afternoon."

Dimitri asked me, "Are you wearing your healing necklace right now?"  I pulled it out of the neckline of my shirt and showed it to him.  He raised an eyebrow as he asked, "Do you ever take it off?"

"Not really," I replied, "Adrian stressed how important it was to wear it all the time to get the full healing power out of it.  I have to take it off when I shower, though, and I've been thinking of taking it off when I sleep, because it keeps getting tangled up in my hair.  A couple of times, it has even gotten really caught in it and woken me up when it pulled my hair."

"I wouldn't want it affecting your ability to fight because it's keeping you from sleeping.  I honestly don't think you'd need a lot of healing while you're sleeping, anyway.  I wonder if you might sleep better without it on," he mused.  There was an odd glint in his eye, but I didn't question it.

I said, "Probably.  I might try that tonight."

"If you sleep without it tonight, let me know how it goes tomorrow morning," he said.

"Will do, Comrade."

* * *

 

By the time Saturday night rolled around, I was ready for _some_ kind of birthday celebration on Sunday.  My return to field experience had been especially rough and my bruises were starting to have their own bruises.  I knew that all of the campus guardians - Dimitri, especially - were a lot worse for wear than I was, though, so that made me feel a little better in some ways and worse in others. When I had broken Dimitri's nose, the healing that Lissa and Adrian did had fixed that, so at least he was still absolutely beautiful to look at, but I had some guilt at the fact that his pain was so much worse than my own.

Eighteen was always supposed to be this magical milestone to adulthood.  For having finally reached eighteen, I didn't feel any older at all.  If anything, my having lost my virginity and then questioning if I made the right choice made me feel clueless and childish.  I'd been taking my necklace off at night for a few days, so at least I'd been sleeping better once I was out, but falling asleep was hard with all of my thoughts about Dimitri and Adrian.  Guardians were always supposed to fall asleep quickly and stay alert, but that's a talent I hadn't mastered yet.  I also always felt oddly better about having been with Dimitri when I'd lie awake in bed thinking about everything.  My dreams had been a lot more restless than I would've liked, too. When I'd told Dimitri that I'd been sleeping without the necklace, though, he looked very pleased.  

Dimitri had gone back to running by my side when I did my morning running.  We talked about a lot of things on those runs that I never thought we'd ever be discussing, both personal and completely ridiculous topics: Dimitri's family, our first kisses, favorite foods, hobbies, dreams, my time in Portland, Dimitri's checkered past, and much more.  I even learned that he had once hot-wired a car and taken it for a joyride as a teenager.  During those talks, I felt so completely at ease with him in our friendship.  Every day at the end of our run, he'd spend an extra minute in the storage room kissing me, always very gentle, loving, slow, and sweet.  Whenever I tried to increase the intensity, he would pull back and end it.  As much as it wasn't everything my body wanted from him, it was still nice.  The voice in my head kept telling me otherwise, but he'd still tell me that he loved me each time that kiss would end. 

Since I'd be sleeping my own room tonight, Dimitri even offered to stop by my dorm room on his patrol shift around noon, during the middle of the Moroi night tonight, to wish me a happy birthday.  He had said that he had a master key he could use, as long as it was alright with me, so he told me to go ahead and get some sleep until he would arrive.

* * *

 

Adrian had arranged for us to leave St. Vladimir's at four thirty P.M., in the early morning hours of Moroi time, for our birthday date out to Missoula.  This meant that I wouldn't be going for my morning running or training with Dimitri, but I had already been waking early each day, so it at least didn't throw off my schedule much.  I didn't know much about the details of the date, but I knew Adrian was planning to have me back by two o'clock A.M., in the vampiric afternoon.  Dimitri and I had arranged a time that an abbreviated training session could happen after we got back.  My body was already feeling sluggish for not doing my morning run, so I was grateful for the chance to make up some of it. 

Adrian had told me to dress nicely for our date, so Lissa helped me find an emerald green wrap dress with a steep, low-cut v-neck that fit me.  It was a little snug because it had come out of Lissa's closet, but it hugged my curves in the right way without looking completely trashy. 

When Adrian met me at my dorm lobby, he gave a low whistle.  "Little dhampir," he said, "you've outdone yourself."  I was surprised to notice that he smelled like he hadn't drank or smoked at all yet today.  He had two guardians I'd never met before, named Phillips and Henderson, in tow.  I wondered idly if they had been asked to come to St. Vladimir's just for us leaving campus today.  After a few quick introductions, I was ready to leave.  Between the two of them and me, there was little threat of a Strigoi attack, but I had packed my own stake in my purse.  No one ever thought to ask for it back after the group of Strigoi had attacked campus and I wasn't going to volunteer it. 

As I sidled up to Adrian, he gave me a deep kiss on the lips and grabbed at my ass with both hands.  "Before we get going," he continued, "do you mind if I take a minute to refresh the healing charm on your necklace for you?  I know I haven't really had the chance to do that since you've been on field experience again."

"No, go right ahead," I said, reaching behind my neck to undo the clasp. 

Adrian shook his head slightly.  "No need to take it off," he said, placing both hands around the silver cross, shamelessly letting the backs of his hands rest along my cleavage. "Perks of doing this while it's still on," he winked, then closed both eyes and concentrated on whatever he was doing to imbue the cross with his Spirit power.  "There," he said, dropping the cross and opening his eyes after a few moments of intense focus.  As the cross left his hands again and fell back down to my skin, I heard the voice in my head whisper something so alluring and so provocative, that I was absolutely sure I couldn't resist, but the last part of what it was now telling me made absolutely no sense to me: _Just being around Adrian makes you so aroused. You're dying to have sex with Adrian today.  You want so badly to give Adrian your virginity and for Adrian to be your first time._

"Now, then, little dhampir,  I was planning to take you out for dinner first. I made seven o'clock reservations for us at a restaurant in Missoula.  A couple people had suggested this French place."

I wasn't at all sure about French food, but I knew it was probably what he would prefer.  "French?  Do they have any normal food I'd recognize?  Can I at least get a steak or something there?" I asked skeptically.

Adrian laughed, "Yes, my sexy little dhampir, you can get a steak there." Adrian pitched his voice low and got close to my ear to ask, "How would you feel about getting a hotel room for a few hours after dinner is over?"

The voice in my head telling me to have sex with Adrian practically purred at that.  "Yes!" I exclaimed, feeling breathless.

Adrian chuckled a little.  "That's what I was hoping to hear," he said.

* * *

 

The two-hour drive to Missoula was in a typical nondescript black guardian SUV, with Henderson and Phillips in the front seat and Adrian and me sitting in the back.  Phillips, the older of the two, was driving.  Henderson looked like he might only be a year or two out of the academy, but I didn't recognize him from St. Vladimir's.  Adrian was on the driver's side.  Adrian had suggested that I might like it better if I sat in the middle seat instead of the passenger side, so that I could be closer to him. Once we were outside the gates and down the road far enough that the gates were no longer visible, Adrian put his left arm around my waist, kissing the side of my jaw and neck, and said to me, "I'd love to see what you've got under that dress now, little dhampir.  If you'd like, I can compel these guardians at the end of the night not to be able to tell anyone else about anything romantic that should happen back here."

Before I could even think about Adrian's statement, his left hand was massaging my right breast.  As Adrian continued kissing, he slid that hand inside the neckline of my dress and then inside my bra, spreading the opening of the wrap dress so wide that a little of the satin from my bra was showing.  Once again, it still didn't feel as good or intense as when Dimitri's hands and lips were on me, but Adrian definitely knew his way around the female body.  I let out a low moan as his lips hit the sensitive spot at the hollow of my neck and his thumb found my nipple. 

Embarrassed, I looked up to see that Henderson was not even trying to hide the fact that he was watching.  "Adrian," I said, "he's watching." 

Adrian turned my face to his and looked into my eyes.  "So?" he asked, "Don't even worry about what these guys are seeing tonight.  Let him watch.  He won't stop us and he can't do anything about it."  Then, louder and to the guardians in the front of the car, Adrian said, "Boys, my super-sexy girlfriend here has just turned eighteen today.  Legally, she's an adult now, but I'd like to make her a woman tonight.  You're not going to stop me from that, or tell anyone else about what happens here."

Incredibly, he wasn't even making eye contact, but I could tell he was compelling them - both at the same time.  As soon as he finished compelling them both, he went back to kissing my neck.  "Adrian, that's a lot of spirit you're wielding," I said, "Are you sure you can handle this?"

"Absolutely, little dhampir.  I'm using just enough to make sure I can make you mine tonight, no more than that." Adrian kissed me like that for several minutes, stroking and kneading at my nipple inside my bra, letting little moans escape my mouth.  I barely realized when the opening of my dress had widened and the right side of my bra was completely uncovered.  The cup was still covering me, but it was slid dangerously low. "God, you're so hot tonight.  I can hardly wait for that hotel room," Adrian breathed, then pitching his voice forward, "Guys, isn't she hot tonight?  One of you, tell me just how hot she is." I could tell he was very recklessly using more compulsion.

To my astonishment, Henderson replied, "Yes, Lord Ivashkov, she's extremely hot.  I'm sure I'll be thinking about her in the shower later."

If it weren't for the fact that Adrian had said not to worry about it, I probably would've kicked Henderson's seat.  As it was, I decided just to ignore him.

* * *

 

The restaurant we had gone for dinner was mediocre, at best, but Adrian seemed genuinely happy with the food.  He only had one glass of wine and compelled our waiter to let me have a glass of it without checking my ID.  True to his word, I was able to get a steak, but it did come in a strange burgundy sauce.  Still, I managed to clean my plate.  For being a human establishment, the portion sizes were ridiculously small and I was still starved afterwards.

When we were done with our dinner, Adrian checked us in to an up-scale hotel.  He had asked for a room with a hot tub in it. 

The front desk clerk had asked, "Smoking or non-, Mr. Ivashkov?" 

"Smoking, please," Adrian replied.  Looking at me, he said, "I know I said I'd cut back, but I always need to smoke after sex."

As soon as we arrived at the room door, Adrian pushed me up against the hotel hallway wall and began kissing me.  Henderson and Phillips were standing there, but Adrian had asked me not to worry about what they were seeing, so I just didn't.  After he had kissed me thoroughly, he stopped and said, "I guess we should go inside instead of just having sex right here."

"Should we go in the room with you, sir?" asked Henderson, "I'd hate for you to be attacked by Strigoi while you're alone in there."

"So self-sacrificing, you are," smirked Adrian, "How about you stay in the hall this time, boys?  Rose, here, is a pretty capable guardian in her own right.  She has more marks than either of you already.  Little dhampir, show him your marks."  I did as Adrian instructed and lifted my hair, bending down so that they could both see my two molnijas and my zvezda mark.

"Novice Hathaway, take one of my stakes, just in case," offered Phillips, reaching into his jacket to pull a stake out of his holster.  I wasn't going to let him know that I already had one, so I took it and dropped it into my purse with the other one as Adrian unlocked the room.

Once Adrian and I were inside the room, he began kissing and undressing me before I could even set my purse down.  Adrian was far more experienced at this than I was, so by the time I reached the bed, all that was left were my heels and panties, but I still hadn't even managed to open the buckle on his belt. He continued kissing me as we both laid back on the bed, running his hands all over my body. I felt powerless beneath his hands and mouth, which seemed intent on exploring every part of me.  Adrian's lips continued trailing along my ears, neck, and face.  Though he didn't bite, I'd occasionally feel an errant fang gently grazing my skin.  Each time, it would cause my pulse and breathing to quicken. I think he knew it, as he started to do it more often as things progressed. 

"Are you ready for me, little dhampir?" Adrian asked. 

“I think so,” I said, “Did you bring protection?”

He replied, “I did.  I love you, Rose.”

 

But I couldn’t say it back.  I had feelings for him, but I knew that I didn’t love him yet.

 

Adrian grimaced at me.  “Your heart’s not in this yet, is it?” he asked.

I was confused.  I knew I didn’t love him, but I really wanted to have sex with him.  The voice in my head kept telling me to. “I think it is,” I replied, “I want this.  I want you.”

Adrian reached behind my neck and unhooked the healing necklace, setting it down on the nightstand table next to the hotel bed.  He kissed me for a few more minutes on my neck, my ears, and my lips. “Are you sure you want to have sex tonight?” he asked me again.

I wasn’t sure.  The voice telling me that I wanted to have sex had gone quiet without my even realizing.  My body still wanted him, but my mind was telling me that I shouldn’t. My mind was telling me that I loved Dimitri, that I'd come to this same crossroads with him just more than a week ago, and that I wasn't ready yet to move this fast with Adrian.  I didn’t answer him, for longer than I think he expected me to go without replying. “I can’t do this to you, little dhampir. I love you too much to have sex with you if you’re not sure about it.  I want you to love me, too.”

“Let’s get you dressed again,” he said, reaching for my healing necklace to put it back on, then picking my panties up off of the floor for me and handing them to me.  I slid them both back on.  “But…” he continued, “I wouldn’t mind if we kept kissing here for a little while.”

We began another slow kiss, his hands still caressing me.  When his fang, once again, grazed my neck, I let out a little moan that I hadn't meant to.  Adrian looked me in the eye and said, “Tell me the truth: do you want me to bite you?”

I knew I shouldn’t say so, I _knew_ the implication of answering the way that I was, but I couldn’t stop myself from blurting out, “I know I shouldn't, but I really do - so, so badly!”  He sunk his teeth into me as I felt the blissful waves of endorphins pass over me. 

It was over too quickly and he removed his fangs from me, slowing the intensity of the high I felt washing over me.  I felt empty and aching once they were gone.  I wanted him back, giving me more.  I reached out to him, hoping he'd bite again.  Or longer.  Anything for more.  He pushed my reaching arm away and licked at his lips. 

"I can't, Rose.  I went longer than I should've already.  If I kept going, you'd probably be able to sprout wings and fly.  Or," he added, more grimly, "there's a possibility I'd drain you."

As the high settled back down and I fell back into myself again, I could distantly notice Adrian pulling the million-thread-count hotel sheets to cover me and laying down beside me to hold me. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, I've managed to get another one written. I managed to throw in a couple more references to gigi256 with the hotwiring story and the scum-of-the-earth Court guardians Phillips and Henderson. Are you enjoying the story so far? What are your hopes for the rest of this story?  
> My question of the 'week' (if I can call it that) is: How do you feel about Adrian Ivashkov, both in canon Vampire Academy and in this story?  
> I always kind of root for the underdog just a little bit and I've often felt sorry for the best-guy-friend character who gets left behind for the bad boy that the girl falls for, but with Adrian, I feel like he's more the bad boy than the best friend in the Vampire Academy stories. I feel like he does have a lot of potential to do good and to be loving, but the spirit darkness, the bi-polar depression, his lust for Rose, and the self-medication with alcohol, smoking, and maybe even drugs are always a corrupting influence on him. I feel like, in the canon storyline, being bound to Jill - and then meeting and falling for Sydney - is really what saved him from his dark side.  
> On the other hand, I did feel really bad for Adrian that Rose cheated on him with Dimitri while on the run. This dark-Adrian storyline I've written, I sort of see as Adrian's revenge on those two - and my revenge on Richelle Mead for making me read through hours of Bloodlines novels for the occasional nugget of Romitri goodness.


	16. Feeling Attacked for my Choices

I woke to the sound of knocking on the door. I was wearing nothing but my panties, my healing necklace, and the hotel sheet, but Adrian still had all of his clothes on. He walked to the door and opened it a small crack.

"Lord Ivashkov," said Phillips, "It's time to go if we want to be back to St. Vladimir's by two o'clock."

Adrian looked over at me. "We'll need about five minutes to get ready," he said. As soon as he closed the door, I got up and started to put my clothes back on. "Little dhampir, it's such a shame to see you putting clothes on. I feel like they're all going in the wrong direction," Adrian said.

“This probably won’t be the last time you see them off,” I told him.

Adrian replied, “I hope not, but you never know what will happen.”

 

* * *

 

After we finished checking out of the hotel, we walked out towards the guardian-issued SUV in the parking lot. Oddly, I was starting to feel sick. “Adrian,” I said, “I don’t think that French food set very well with me.”

When we got to the vehicle, the overhead lights above this section of the lot were all unlit. I wondered off-hand if they had burned out.  It seemed odd, because I thought they’d been on when we had arrived. I wondered if I’d been mistaken.

I noticed as we walked up that the front driver’s tire of the SUV looked really low. Too low. We had a flat tire.

Suddenly, it hit me. I wasn’t sick from the food, and the lights weren’t out because of neglect or accident. The tire had been slashed. “Strigoi!” I called out, grabbing one of the stakes from my purse, dropping the purse on the ground, and kicking off my heels. I could fight better barefoot than in those things.

Henderson and Phillips both pulled out their stakes and turned so that we made a circle with our backs to Adrian. Phillips had a single _molnija_ , but Henderson had no marks other than his promise mark, so I had no doubt that this was probably his first experience of this kind. Being no more than a few years out of the academy himself, I didn’t give him good odds of surviving the night, but now wasn’t the time to think about that.

“Are you sure?” asked Phillips.

“What does your gut say?” I asked him, talking quickly, “We’re in the biggest city within a couple of hours of St. Vladimir’s and we have a guardian-issue vehicle, transporting a royal. The front tire appears to have been slashed. The street lights around the car are all out, but the rest of the lot is well-lit and those lights weren’t out when we got here this evening.”

“Strigoi,” he nodded, as I glanced at him from the corner of my eye.

A moment later, a group of three Strigoi pushed out of the bushes in front of the car. Three. That’s one-on-one, with more powerful opponents, and two of us were basically amateurs. My pulse was racing.

Each of the Strigoi, all male, approached one of us. One of them looked like he had been human and the other two appeared to have been former Moroi. Thankfully, none of them appeared to have been a former guardian, so hopefully we had skill on our side.

The incredible thing is that I hadn’t even made it through field experience yet and this would make as many encounters with Strigoi than Dimitri had seen by the age of twenty-four - Dimitri, one of the best guardians I’ve ever met. He was a freakin’ Blood Master Level Seven! If I lived through this, what ranking would I get?

I wasn’t even going to worry about the other two guardians for now, just taking on the Strigoi coming at me. I would cross that bridge when the one coming at me was gone - or when another one was coming at me. The former human was the one who approached me. This, I could work to my advantage. He would undoubtedly be the weakest of the three. Dimitri had taught me a lot about fighting against opponents who underestimated my strength or skill.

I feigned a foot problem and ducked down, so that I could hit him low. I got underneath his stomach and flipped him onto the ground, head first. He was dazed. If he had been a mortal, the head injury would probably be fatal, but as a Strigoi, it would just slow him down for a few minutes.

As I went to go in to stake him, he kicked out at me with his feet in my stomach. I reared backwards, but he didn’t take me down. He was still lying on the ground, so it would take him a few moments to stand up again. I was winded for a moment, but ready to duck if he came at me once he was upright.

I heard a scream from one of the others. I didn’t have time to check, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t Adrian. I hoped. There was no question here that they come first, especially when the Moroi in question was someone I cared about, but you can’t fight off an attacker who was after someone else when there was a different attacker fighting you.

This former-human Strigoi was rookie enough to try to engage in banter with me while fighting. “You fight pretty well for a blood whore,” he said.

“What the fuck?” I asked, as I dodged a punch, “I’m not a blood whore!”

“Bullshit,” he said, unfazed by my kick to his knee, trying to sweep his legs, “I can see the bite marks on your neck and I can smell you all over that Moroi. Not that it smells bad, mind you. Maybe we’ll have a little fun with you before we kill you. But if he’s had your pussy and drank your blood in the same night, then that makes you his blood whore.”

“ _I. AM NOT. A FUCKING. BLOOD WHORE_ ,” I half-shrieked my reply, “We didn’t even have _sex_!!! Oh, _now_ you’ve done it. Bad things happen to someone who pisses off Rose Hathaway.”

I lunged out at the Strigoi fighting me and swiped my stake against his arm, cutting through his sleeve and into his skin. The Strigoi scream out in pain and grabbed the cut along his arm. This was both an opportunity and an obstruction, because his uninjured arm wasn’t swinging at me, but it was now covering his chest. I took a chance and dived down low, sliding along the pavement like a baseball player going for a home run, jamming the stake up into his rib cage from underneath. My leg would be all torn up and Lissa was going to be pissed about her dress, but I hit my target.

I pulled my stake back out of the Strigoi corpse and turned to look at the others. Adrian was slumped on the ground, unconscious, but he appeared alive. Henderson’s throat was ripped out, one of the other Strigoi was lying on the ground, and Phillips was fighting the one that had attacked Henderson. I came to his aid, swiping the Strigoi across the cheek. This one was more experienced than the one I’d fought and kept fighting after the gouge my stake had left behind. Phillips swept the Strigoi’s legs while my cut had distracted him, and the Strigoi fell to the ground on his back.

I rushed to tackle him down, and slammed my stake into him as quickly as possible. He was dead and there were no more.

I laid there atop the dead Strigoi for a moment, huffing and puffing. Phillips gently tapped me on the shoulder, saying, “Rose.” I looked up at him and he had an outstretched hand, offering to help me up. I took it and he helped me up. “I’ve rarely seen fighting like yours before. You’re going to make one hell of a great guardian someday. Lord Ivashkov got hit in the head, but I think he will be alright once he wakes up. Let’s call in the Alchemists and then call the academy.”

“Alchemists?” I asked, “What are those?”

Phillips gave a dry chuckle, “I forgot you’re not even promised yet. You sure don’t fight like it. Alchemists are usually something that guardians find out about at graduation. They’re - well, sort of a secret organization, among humans. Their job is to hide our existence from the rest of the human world. They’ll take care of the Strigoi bodies for us.”

* * *

 

It took a couple of hours for the Alchemists to get there to destroy the bodies and for the tire to get changed. Adrian was fine after he finally came to, but it was far too late for Henderson. Although I didn’t exactly like Henderson, I didn’t want him dead. Adrian offered to heal my leg, but considering his head injury and the fact that he’d already been using a lot of spirit, I said that it wasn’t that bad and I’d rather just let it heal naturally.

If his powers had extended to Lissa’s tattered dress, however, I might’ve had him fix it. She might be happy that I hadn’t been killed, but she’d sure be upset about the condition of the borrowed clothes.

We stopped for some fast food around two-thirty before we left Missoula. The burgers and fries were much more welcoming to me than the French food we’d had earlier. Once we got back to St. Vladimir’s, it was already five o’clock and most of my day off was over. Dimitri met us at the parking lot and I could see worry creased all over his face.

“Guardian Belikov,” Phillips said, shaking his hand, “Daniel Phillips. We met at Court last year, just before you were assigned here. We sparred a few times. You must be the one who trained Novice Hathaway. I’ve only seen moves like those once before. She is an exceptional fighter. You taught her well.” Phillips walked away.

Very uncharacteristic of what Dimitri was typically willing to display in public, he pulled me into a big hug. I let him as I let out some tears for everything I’d just gone through. Being there when someone dies is hard - even someone you don’t like. I had been tough throughout the ride home, but I just couldn’t be anymore.While Dimitri was hugging me, brushed my hair back gently, and made a face as he glanced down at my neck.

Oh.

The bite marks.

Dimitri looked at Adrian and I saw a look of anger flash across his face that I had rarely seen the intensity of from him. It almost sent a chill through me to look at him. This was more than when he had tossed Jesse Zeklos across the room. This was pure, unadulterated hatred. His arms were still in the basic shape of hugging me, but Dimitri was gripping me with all of his strength.

The most menacing voice I’ve ever heard from Dimitri said, “You bit her.” Still seething, he reiterated, between clenched teeth, almost a growl, “You. _Bit_. Her. You will be lucky if you live long enough to pay for this.”

“Belikov,” said Adrian in a low voice, “Don’t do anything that you’d regret right now.”

Dimitri said, menacing growl still in full effect, “I can’t think of anything that I’d regret about wiping you off of the face of this planet right now.”

“Don’t you think that might end your career? Don’t you think they might send you back to Russia - or Tarasov - for assaulting the queen’s favorite nephew?” Adrian asked.

“Wait!” I cried, prying myself out of Dimitri’s grip and holding the two men at arms’ length from each other, “This is all just a stupid misunderstanding.” I pitched my voice low and said, “I told him I wanted him to bite me.”

Dimitri still looked unconvinced. “Did you want it before he asked you?”

“What?” I asked.

“Did you want him to bite you before he asked you if you wanted it?”

I was silent for a minute. I didn’t want Dimitri to think less of me. I was no blood whore. But I couldn’t lie to him. And yet, in thinking back through what we had talked about, he wouldn’t think less of me - would he?

In my quietest voice, I said, barely a whisper, “Yes.” I couldn’t look at him when I said it.

Dimitri clenched his hands into fists and I saw him tighten his jaw. He didn’t say anything further to me. He began to walk away, but I heard him say to Adrian, “That better be all you did to her while you were off campus.” Then, calling back to me, facing away and still walking, “Rose, after you finish dinner, meet me at the track at seven-thirty for our training.”

* * *

 

“Are you okay, Roza?” Dimitri asked me again, for what felt like the millionth time, as we circled the track again.

“Of course I’m not okay,” I said, trying to keep up with his long strides and talk at the same time. Despite being nearly eleven hours later, blood loss from Adrian’s bite had left me more winded while running than I thought I would be. “I fought two Strigoi today. I saw another guardian die.  I might’ve lived to tell the tale, but, you know how it is.”

“I do,” he said, “I understand. Killing … it changes you. Every time you have to do it. Even undead things, like that. But, that wasn’t quite what I meant. Roza, he bit you.”

“And I already told you, I wanted him to.”

“Was it more than a bite?  Did he take advantage of you?” he asked.

“Dimitri, I don’t really think that’s any of your business. Whether it happened or not, I’m not going to talk to someone else, especially not the guy I last had sex with, about my love-life.”

Dimitri said, “I understand, but I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

“You mean, other than the fighting against two Strigoi?”

He made a tight-lipped smile and replied, “Yes, other than that.”

“It happened to my mother, you know,” Dimitri said, “My father liked to hit when he got angry, but that’s not all he did.”

“He would bite her?” I asked.

Dimitri nodded. “Yes. Against her will, most of the time. If she said no, he would force her - or compel her to let him.  He wasn't a spirit user like Adrian, either - at least, as far as I knew.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, “I didn’t know.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to, Roza. It’s not something you go around telling people. The last time he came to our house, he had bitten her just an hour or so before he beat her, which had already made her weak. My sister Karolina had just gotten pregnant with my nephew, Paul, and my mother had told him that night. He … _rewarded_ … her honesty by throwing her through our glass coffee table. She was unconscious. With all of the blood loss from both the bite and the cuts from the table, there were a few moments when I wasn’t sure if she was alive, or if she’d live through the night. He had gone to the kitchen and come back to us with a knife. I thought for sure he was going to kill her, if he hadn’t already.”

“And that was when you fought him back?” I asked.

“It was. I pinned him, hit him until he surrendered, and then tried to choke him. If my mother hadn’t stopped me, I might’ve killed him. Instead, I grabbed the knife and told him never to come back.”

I finished for him, “And then he didn’t.”

“Well, not exactly,” Dimitri said, “Roza, I’ve already told you more than I’ve ever told anyone, but this is something I’ve never shared before. My father was a royal. He had guardians. They weren’t there that night, but I knew that they’d be back to take out the threat. So, I had to make him go away. I contacted a ‘businessman’ who was in the area who had a knack for making bargains when you needed dirty work done or something swept under the carpet. I barely knew his real name, at the time - though I definitely know it now - but we called him _Zmey:_  the snake. I made a deal with him, to protect my family and to send my father away, for good.”

“Wow,” I said, “what did you give him for that?”

“I haven’t given him anything yet,” he replied.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Dimitri said, “He told me that I’d owe him a favor. He said one day he would come to collect. I’m still waiting for that day to come.” We rounded the track in silence for another few moments as I processed what Dimitri had told me. “Throughout my education,” Dimitri continued, “Zmey would look in on me or my family from time to time. At one point, I thought he would ask me to be his guardian, but then Ivan came along, and I was assigned to him by the guardian council. I kept waiting for and expecting that day that Zmey would collect to come, but it never did.”

“If Zmey had asked you to be his guardian, would you have done it? Instead of going with Ivan?”

“I would have. I owe him my life. And the lives of my family,” Dimitri said.

I asked, “Do you think he’d still ask you to pay up?”

“In truth,” Dimitri said, “I don’t know. I hope not.”

“If he came today, would you do what he asked?”

“If I knew you were safe first, I would.  I honor my debts.  And there are few prices I wouldn’t pay for the people I love.”

* * *

 

When we finished running, Dimitri took me to the storage room and kissed me again. Something in me questioned if it was right to be in a relationship with Adrian and still kissing Dimitri like that, but even if I wanted him to, Dimitri never did more than just kiss me, anyways.  And I always wanted more, especially when his lips felt so nice.  No matter how I felt about Adrian in my mind, he just couldn't make me feel alive the way I did when I was with Dimitri. 

“Dimitri,” I practically begged, “ _please_ just touch me. Or at least kiss me somewhere besides my lips, or let me touch you, or something. I really want you to.”

Dimitri chuckled, “You have no idea how hard it is to deny that request, Roza, but it is for the best.”

“What about tonight?” I asked, “Will you then? I’m in my own room tonight instead of sleeping on Christian’s floor. And, it’s my birthday! You already told me you’d stop by.”

“I’ll think about it,” Dimitri replied.

“You’re still stopping by, right? Around noon?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said, “Yuri has a soft spot for you. He has the one o’clock shift tonight that makes patrol rounds an hour after me, so he agreed to meet me at your dorm at noon and swap out, giving me an hour to spend with you, alone in your room.”

“Wow, he really wasn’t kidding,” I said, thinking out loud. Dimitri raised an eyebrow. I laughed. “Back when he was helping to train me, he told me, in his own colorful _Yuri_ sort of way, that he wouldn’t care if we were having sex, as long as everyone was happy. If he’s going to give you an hour alone with me in my dorm room in the middle of the night, I guess he really doesn’t.”

"I guess not," said Dimitri, pondering what I had just said, “Just do me a favor."

“What’s that?”

“Be dressed when I arrive tonight.”

I shook my head. “If you say so, Comrade, but you’re taking all of the fun out of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had another gigi256 reference here, but not to the Dimitri POV VA series. This time, it was to this one: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2854550 \- Dimitri’s Debt by gigi256 - she's the one who came up with the whole Zmey/Dimitri back-story.  
> Also, anyone want to be my beta reader? For real now, I'm going to have to start slowing down on the chapters, and I need someone to check me before I publish anything stupid.  
> Here's my question of the week: Do you think Rose had a driver's license or any formal drivers' training experience by this point in the story?  
> I could see arguments for both sides of this one, so I'm interested to see what you all think.


	17. To All a Good Night

My pulse was pounding in my ears, not from fear, but from desire.  I heard a sound that might’ve been knocking, but I didn’t understand where it was coming from.  I wedged the chair up against the storage room door, then leaned in and kissed Dimitri again as he pulled off my shirt.  He had ‘accidentally’ caressed me through my clothes during practice one too many times, and neither of us could take it anymore.  As he slid his hand down the front of my pants, I said to him, “I love you so m - where the fuck is that knocking coming from?”

The knocking finally woke me - I had been dreaming.  After a week of sleeping on Christian’s floor, this was my first night back in my own room, in my own bed.  I grumbled, but got up and answered the door. I was still aroused from the dream - more aroused than I ought to be for answering the door without knowing who was on the other side, but I knew the knocking had gone on for a while already.  Many of my dreams in the past week had been similar. Lucky for me, Christian hadn’t noticed any evidence of it yet.

I quickly eyed what I was wearing - a long t-shirt that came down to mid-thigh, but I was fully covered - before opening the door. “Dimitri,” I said, smiling and hoping my arousal wasn’t too visible on my face and body, “You came.”

He walked into my room, closing the door behind him, then brought his hand up to brush the hair away from the side of my face and kissed me gently.  “Of course I did,” he said, “Happy birthday, Roza.”

“Thank you.  I was dreaming of you,” I said, “We were in the storage room.”

He asked, “Have you been sleeping better lately?  Not sleeping with the necklace on?”

“Yes, actually.  I took it off,” I replied, “It’s over on the desk.”

“Roza, I want to be with you again. I know that you want me to, but first, I need to do something,” he said.

I asked, “What do you need to do?”

“I need to convince you that the necklace is not what you think it is.”

“I’m confused, Dimitri,” I said, “What do you mean?”

“Look at me,” he said, “How do you feel about me right now?”

“I love you,” I replied, “More than anything.  More than I love Lissa.”

“And how do you feel about Adrian?” he continued.

“That’s complicated,” I answered, trying to be honest, “I think I might have some feelings for him, but they’re nothing compared to what I feel for you.  He’s a good friend who has been really sweet to me. He really cares about me and has taken good care of me - that means a lot.”

“But do you love him?  Maybe a little bit?” he asked.  

I shook my head.  “Not even a little bit.  Not yet.”

“Now, remember the answers you just gave me and go pick up the necklace and hold it in your hand,” Dimitri directed.  I walked over and picked it up. “Count to sixty,” he said. I did as he asked.

He asked again, “How do you feel about me now?  Be as honest as you can.”

“I’m not sure.  I’m so attracted to you that I can’t stand it, and I _desperately_ want to have sex with you, but I feel like my feelings I thought I had for you were a mistake.  And I feel like maybe you were just taking advantage - using me for my body.”

“And Adrian?”

“Honestly?  I’m starting to have some pretty intense feelings for him.  I really want to have sex with him, too,” I replied. Dimitri scowled deeply at that last part.  “What? Who I choose to have sex with is none of your business. Besides, even if I wanted to have sex with him, you had your chance with me first.  And even if I want to have sex with him now, it’s more my _brain_ than my body that wants him.”  I put my free hand on Dimitri’s chest. ”My _body_ mostly just wants you.”

“Do you love him?” he asked.

I frowned, “I don’t know.  I’m not sure. Maybe a little bit?”

“Remember your answers again.  Go put the necklace back down and count to sixty again,” he said.

I put it down and counted again.  My brain was starting to try to piece it all together, but something just didn’t make sense.

“Do you remember your answers?  Both ways?” he asked me. I nodded.  “How do you feel now? Which one of us do you love right now?”

“You.  Only you.  With all my heart.  It will only ever be you,” I said.

“What happened today in Missoula?”  

“Oh my God,” I said, the weight of today’s events hitting me like a ton of bricks.

“Did you have sex with him?” he asked.

“No.  He took me to a hotel.  He took my clothes off. He told me he loved me.  I couldn’t say it back. Then he told me my heart wasn’t in it yet, he kissed me, he asked me if I wanted him to bite me, I said ‘yes’, he did, and I passed out on the bed.  We left a couple of hours later when Phillips knocked to tell us it was time to leave. Then, the Strigoi attacked in the hotel parking lot.”

“Phillips,” Dimitri practically growled, “Those guardians just _let_ you go into a hotel room with him?”

“I _am_ eighteen now, Dimitri.”

“You’re a student,” he replied.

“Yes.  A student who was _not_ eighteen yet when _you_ \- my teacher - had sex with me two weeks ago.  Everything that happened in Missoula was consensual among two legal adults, even if I might not feel like I made the right choices then.  Well, everything except for Henderson saying he was going to jack off thinking about me later, which was just creepy and gross, but he’s dead now, anyways.”  Dimitri _did_ growl at that.

“But you understand what the necklace is now, right?” he asked.

Something cloudy was going on in my brain.  I couldn’t piece it together. “No,” I said, “I can’t figure it out.  Is it some kind of a thinking charm? Helping me to put my emotions aside, maybe?  Is that why Adrian took it off of me before he told me that we wouldn’t have sex?”

Dimitri looked angry.  “Have you ever considered it’s a compulsion charm?” he asked.

I replied, with a laugh, “Actually, the funny thing is that I had thought that for a minute.  But then Adrian reminded me that he would never do that to me.”

Dimitri looked angrier.  “Can you leave the necklace off tomorrow?  And stop wearing it?”

“No,” I said, “Adrian told me that I’d need to wear it as much as possible for the healing.”  Dimitri cursed in Russian, then turned around and punched my door. If it hadn’t been solid oak, there would have been a hole from how hard he hit it.

“I can’t make love to you tonight,” he said, turning back to me and coming close, “because I know a part of you would regret it tomorrow.  But know that I love you.” He slid his hand into my hair, brushing it back from the side of my face again, his other hand wrapping around my waist.

“And I love you,” I said.  He closed the distance and kissed me, gently at first and then building.  My hands fisted in the back of his duster as we continued to kiss.

I pulled back.  “If you don’t want to make love to me - “ I started to say, but he interrupted.

“I said I can’t.  There’s a difference.”

“If you can’t make love to me,” I corrected, “Are you going to stay?  For the hour Yuri gave you?”

“Yes,” he said, running his hands down the length of my arms and then clasping both of my hands in his, “Of course.  I wouldn’t miss the chance to spend time with the woman I love on her birthday.”

I smiled. “Will you hold me?  On the bed, I mean? Not sexually, just … close?”

“Yes, Roza.  That, I can do.”

* * *

I fell asleep while Dimitri was still in my room.  Waking to find him gone was hard, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it because I had to get to my morning running and I knew I’d find him there.  I logged in to my laptop while I grabbed my brush. There was a new email. Only my mother would be up this early in the Moroi day while still staying on a Moroi schedule.

> From: Hathaway, Janine  
>  To: Petrov, Alberta; Kirova, Ellen  
>  CC: Hathaway, Rosemarie  
>  Date: March 21, 2010 4:40 PM  
>  Subject: FW: ITINERARY - IBRAHIM KADIR MAZUR - 2010-03-28
> 
> Rose’s father should be arriving at St. Vladimir’s around 11:00 PM on Sunday morning.  His flight gets in at 8:00 PM and his guardian will be driving a rental car from Missoula. He’ll be staying through the Moroi day Sunday and then leaving around 9:00 AM on Sunday night. 

I finally had a name.  Ibrahim Kadir Mazur. This was my father.  The same first name Tatiana had used when she was lecturing me about dhampirs getting involved with Moroi.  And he was coming in less than a week.

* * *

When I arrived at the track, Dimitri asked me, “How was your birthday, Rose?  I know you had a rough start to the day.”

“It ended wonderfully, for the most part,” I said, “Except I didn’t get to have sex, like I wanted to.”  I pouted a little at the end.

“I think you can live without it,” he offered.

“Easy for you to say.  You don’t have someone you want to have sex with kissing you every day _and_ the bond letting you get randomly sucked in to vicariously being kissed and touched by someone you have no interest in.”

He raised an eyebrow.  “Do you want me to stop kissing you?” he asked.  I shook my head. “How did you sleep last night?”

“It started out really good.  I was having some pretty hot dreams.  Then the guy I was dreaming about came and woke me up for a little while and wouldn’t fulfill those dreams.  And then, I woke up this morning alone.”

“Could I see your necklace for one minute, please?” he asked, “I promise I’ll give it right back.”

I was uneasy about it.  “You’ll give it _right_ back?” I asked.  He nodded.

I unhooked it and handed it to him.  Oddly, he had one of his lifting gloves on his hand that he took the necklace in.  “Roza,” he said, holding the necklace, “It meant so much to me to have you fall asleep by my side last night.  I was glad to be with you. I love you so much.”

“I loved everything about just being with you last night.  You know I want more, but even if that’s all we have, I’m happy to just know that you love me and to be close to you.”  We kissed, a soft, gentle kiss full of love.

“You may have your necklace back now,” he said, holding his hand out.  I took it and put it back on.

“Shall we run now?” Dimitri asked, motioning to the track.  I started a light jog, knowing he’d catch up before I got very far down the track.

When he caught up, which was honestly fairly quickly, I asked him, “Do you know what is in store for me for the day?  I know you probably shouldn’t tell me, but a little heads-up if you’re going to attack me would be nice?”

“Roza, that would be cheating.”

I said, “But I don’t want to hurt you again when you attack.”

“I have faith in you that you won’t,” Dimitri replied, “You can control it.”  

“You have more faith in me than I do, Comrade,” I said.

We rounded the track a few more times.  I asked, “What is our training schedule going to be like for Sundays during the rest of the field experience?”

“I thought we might go back to the schedule we had before the field experience started back up,” he replied, “assuming that works for you?”

“It mostly does.  I have a visitor coming on this Sunday,” I said.  Dimitri looked surprised. I said, “I figured Alberta would’ve mentioned it.  My mother set it all up.”

“Oh.  Who is your visitor?” he asked.

“My father is coming to meet me.”

Dimitri asked, “How do you feel about that?”

“You’re starting to sound like Dierdre,” I said, laughing, “Every time I would ask her a question, she’d answer with another one and every time I’d tell her something, she’d ask me how I felt about it.”

“Does that mean you’re not going to answer me?” he smirked.

“You’ve just been asking me about how I feel a lot lately,” I said.

Dimitri looked at me.  “Your feelings are important to me.”

“I know, Comrade,” I said, “I don’t know how I feel about it.  I mean, on the one hand, I _finally_ get to meet my father.  On the other, why the hell did he wait so long to want to be a part of my life?”

Dimitri said, “It can’t be all bad if he at least wants to meet you.  He is apparently still on speaking terms with your mother.”

“And we both know all of the fuzzy feelings and mother-daughter bonding time Janine Hathaway and her daughter share together,” I replied.

“I’m serious,” said Dimitri, “How did she seem to feel about him?”

“She seemed … warm, actually,”  I said, thinking back to the few times she had talked about him, “like they had more than just a business arrangement to have a baby together to further the dhampir species.”

“And even now after they’ve been apart for years, she didn’t seem to have any bad feelings for him?” He asked.

“No, not that I noticed,” I said.

“So maybe he’s not such a bad guy, then.  Maybe he had a good reason for staying away.”

“It still sure makes me wonder what kind of good reason it would be, though.”

“Do you know when he’s arriving on Sunday?” Dimitri asked.

“Around eleven,” I said.

Dimitri said, “I’ll try to schedule most of your training earlier on in the day on Sunday,” he said, “I’ll make sure you have an update before Saturday.”

We circled the track in comfortable silence for another minute or so until Dimitri broke the silence.  “Alb - I mean, Guardian Petrov,” he began, making me giggle at his slip, “wanted me to let you know you’d be getting two more _molnija_ marks.  They were planning to hold off on the ceremony until you have another day off. I’m not sure if they’ll try to do it on a Sunday or wait until the field experience is over.”

“That’d be something, if they could manage to do it while my father is here,” I said.

Dimitri looked like he was deep in thought for a few minutes.  “When you had your _zvezda_ mark done,” he asked, “were you wearing your necklace?”

“No,” I said, “Lionel told me that I had to take it off because the chain was in the way.  Why do you ask?”

“Was it still off when you sat by me at the reception?”

I started to think, “I don’t re - wait, yes, I put it back on after you left.  You made me cry, you know? I needed that healing to take away the pain from what you said.”  I looked over to see his reaction as I said that. He looked hurt. _Good_ , I thought, as the voices in my head told me that he was using me and he didn’t care for me.

“I’m so sorry, Roza,” he said, then after a minute or so, he asked, “So you’d have to take it off again for the two new _molnija_ marks you’d be getting?”

“I would expect so,” I said, “I’m still not sure why you’re asking, though.”

“You said that the princess was getting better at seeing auras, right?  That she could use them to tell what people are feeling?” Dimitri asked.

“Yes, but she doesn’t know what all of the colors mean yet,” I said.

“What emotions does she know?”

“I don’t know for sure if she has all of these exactly right, but the ones that she thinks she has are happiness, peace, anger, attraction, greed, and jealousy.  A couple of them look basically the same as each other, though. She saw at least a few other colors.”

“Hmm.  And you said that she could feel the spirit in a charmed object, right?  To know what it’s supposed to do?” he asked.

“She could with the healing bracelet Adrian made her,” I said, “She used it to make a few more of them for use at the med clinic.  Hers are more powerful than my necklace.”

Dimitri mused, “Maybe we could arrange to have Vasilisa _and_ your father in attendance for your _molnija_ ceremony.”

* * *

 

I had just spotted Christian in the cafeteria, getting in line for the feeders, when Yuri came to me and pulled me aside.  “Hey, kiddo,” he said to me, “You got a minute before you find your charge?”

“Sure.  What’s up, Yuri?”

Yuri motioned me to follow him to a small meeting room.  “Over here,” he said. When we walked in, he closed the door and said, “I was happy for you when Dimitri finally went back to training you again.  Are you and the D-man good now?”

I grinned.  “I think so,” I replied.

“I hoped as much.  I saw his transfer paperwork on the copy machine by Petrov’s desk this morning.  It looks like he has been requested by a Moroi at Court with a permanent residence there, for him to start guarding for them after this semester is over.  I don’t think he knows about it yet, but it should be great for you, since then you’ll both be there and you won’t have the same charge anymore.”

“Do you know who requested him?” I asked.

Yuri shrugged. “I dunno.  Some royal? Can’t remember if it was an Ivashkov, an Ozera, or a Zeklos.  Maybe he impressed them when we were at Court last month. I know he turned down being in the queen’s guard after his last charge died.”    

I bristled at the names, but it could just be a coincidence, especially since Ivan had been a Zeklos.  “Would you be able to find out who and let me know?”

“Sure thing.  I’ll find out and let you know in a day or two.  Or maybe once Dimitri knows about it, he’ll tell you.  So,” he was grinning like a Cheshire cat, “how was last night?”

I laughed.  “It was … absolutely none of your business, Yuri.”

“What? I had to try, Rose!  A guy can’t play matchmaker for his crush and then get details afterwards?  A lot can happen when two people are alone in a bedroom for an hour.”

I told him, “Your imagination is probably better than reality, Yuri.  He kissed me, we talked about my feelings, and he held me while I fell asleep.”

“You fell asleep in his arms?  Aww, that’s so sweet, Rose! It’s just like a love story!”

“Yuri, you’re ridiculous.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there goes another chapter down. It was _**SO**_ good to sort-of have another love-y Romitri moment! How many of you have missed those in the past few chapters? Any guesses on who Dimitri's charge is?  
> Here's my new question of the week:  
> From this chapter, Rose's dreams all seem to have a recurring theme lately. Have you ever had the same (or similar) dreams over and over again, or mostly all different dreams?  
> In my life, I've had some really bizarro dreams - often all different. I was told when I went to the hospital for a sleep study several years ago that people with sleep apnea usually have more vivid dreams and are more likely to remember them than people who don't. Guess what category I'm in? The rare recurring theme has popped up from time to time, though. As a young child, I used to have recurring nightmares that my parents' car drove away with me buckled into my carseat, and as a teenager, I actually had frequent nightmares about vampires.


	18. On Knife's Edge

When Yuri and I finished talking, Christian was nowhere to be seen.  I checked the feeder area, but he wasn’t there anymore. Lissa was also missing.  Something told me that they were looking for some time alone, but Eddie and I were supposed to be officially on duty for field experience as soon as breakfast was over.  I scanned the cafeteria for Eddie and found him sitting alone.

“Have you seen Christian?” I asked him.

Eddie replied, “He and Lissa went off somewhere to be alone before it was time to be guarded.”

I looked at my watch.  Breakfast would end in 5 minutes.  If they weren’t in the building, I didn’t think we’d make it in time.

I tuned into the bond.  They were in the chapel attic.  My brain wanted to get the hell out of there before I was privy to any clothing removal, but I also knew what my responsibilities were.  Lissa and Christian would need to get to class in less than 15 minutes, too. “Eddie,” I told him, “Follow me.”

As we walked, I kept an eye on their conversation, hoping to shut out the bond completely if I saw anything unbutton or unzip.  At this point, Lissa had started to learn how to block me out, but that didn’t mean she would always remember to do so.

Christian and Lissa were sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the wall while she was sitting between his legs, his arms wrapped loosely around her neck.  “Liss,” he said, “the attack on campus really shook me up. I was so worried about you until Rose came along and told me you were fine. I know you don’t want to, but I really want you to go through the fighting training with me - especially since you specialized in a magic that hasn’t really given any offensive powers.”

“Do you really think it’s necessary, though, Christian?  I mean, I’ll have guardians with me nearly every minute. And thanks to the bond, I’ll have _Rose_ with me every minute - even when she’s not with me,” said Lissa.

“That’s just it, though.  Until we get to the ‘making little Dragomirs’ - and I’m not entirely sure I’m ready to be a father, but, I’m willing to practice the baby-making anytime you want -, _you are_ your entire royal family line.  What we saw in Spokane just proves that the Strigoi want you - more than anyone else.  I don’t want to let that happen,” said Christian. Lissa turned to look at him. “Lissa,” he continued, “I love you.  More than anything in this entire world. Please, let me keep you safe by learning how to fight.”

Lissa smiled, “You’ve never used the ‘L’ word before. Does this really mean that much to you?”

“Yes,” said Christian, as he leaned in to give her a small kiss, “but I’d love you, regardless.”  

“I love you too, Christian,” she said. She was just beginning to get to the point where she could start to see auras without really trying, and she could see his.  It was practically glowing a brilliant bright pink. She continued, “so if it really means that much to you, I’ll do it. I know this might sound strange, but what would you say is the feeling you’re feeling more than anything else right now?”

“It’s love,” he said.

“So, love is pink ...” she said.  Her mind went to who she had seen pink on … _Dimitri!_

I pulled back from the bond.  I could doubt what I thought his feelings were in the past.  I could question his motives for wanting to be with me in the first place.  But auras don’t lie. It didn’t mean that he felt like that all of the time, and it didn’t mean that my feelings were there with his, though.  My mind was full of more questions than answers.

Eddie and I had just arrived at the chapel doors.  “You better wait here,” I told him, as I headed up to the attic by myself.  No point in revealing the location of their love nest to Eddie. I headed up the stairs and knocked on the door.

“It’s Rose,” I heard Lissa telling Christian.  I’m not sure how she would’ve known it was me through the door or if it was just a lucky guess.  

Lissa opened the door, standing in the doorway.  Christian was still sitting against the wall. “It’s almost time for classes,” I said, “Eddie is downstairs.”

* * *

I was allowed a ten-minute break to check my email each day of my field experience while Christian was in with the feeders after breakfast.   I was expecting my training plans for Sunday from Dimitri to arrive in my email as it had before. I opened it up to find I finally got the updated times.  

> From: Belikov, Dimitri  
>  To: Hathaway, Rosemarie  
>  CC: Petrov, Alberta  
>  Date: March 24, 2010 5:39 AM  
>  Subject: Sunday’s Training Schedule
> 
> Rose,
> 
> Here is a training schedule for this Sunday before your father arrives.  For the remaining Sunday of your field experience, the schedule will be the same as it was on March 11 and 12.
> 
> 5:00 PM - Running - Meet at Track  
>  5:30 PM - Weight-lifting (upper body and legs) - Gym  
>  6:30 PM - Weapons training - Gym  
>  9:00 PM - Sparring - Elementary Moroi dorm south courtyard  
>  10:30 PM - Technique and Strategy - Academic Building, room 246
> 
> If you have time, we will plan to have more running later on in the evening.  I am scheduled for gate duty from 10:00 to 11:00, so Guardian Bondar will be conducting your technique and strategy session.  I’m aware that your father will probably arrive before your session with Guardian Bondar is over, but this should minimize the overlap.  We will also be skipping Martial Arts so that you can have more time with him in the afternoon.
> 
> **Guardian Dimitri R. Belikov**  
>  Blood Master Level 7  
>  St. Vladimir's Academy

* * *

 

“Rose!” Yuri called to me as Christian and I walked toward his Culinary Science class on Friday afternoon.  It was a relief to see a school guardian not wearing all-black after a full school-week of being attacked by them over and over again.

“Christian has to get to class,” I said, “but if you can tag along, we can talk.  What’s up?” I was keeping an eye out for other guardians that might not be coming for a simple conversation.

“You asked me who the transfer was for,” he said.

“And?”

He gave a meaningful glance towards Christian.  “Earshot,” he said.

I frowned.  “I won’t be able to be alone until Sunday.”

“Hey, Mr. Ozera, you got a sheet of paper and a pen I could use?” Yuri asked.

Christian stopped and opened his backpack to pull out a sheet of paper and a pen, then handed both to Yuri.  “Don’t spend it all in one place,” he replied.

Yuri scribbled something out quickly, then folded the paper and handed it to me, saying, “He still doesn’t know about it, either, but the request was dated three days after the attack on campus, as an addendum to the original transfer request the day before that.”  

I unfolded it.  I could barely read his sloppy scrawled cursive writing.  It looked like:

> Nerezhe Qwine

“I have no idea who this is,” I told him, sounding it out: “Nair-ez-hey Quine?”

Yuri gave me an frustrated look.  “Let me see that,” He said, taking the paper and writing on it again.  He folded it and handed it back to me.

When I looked again, there were capital letters in printing with arrows next to several parts of the name. ‘A’ pointed to the letters I had thought were a lowercase ‘e’.  ‘T’ pointed to what I had thought was a lowercase ‘r’. ‘O’ pointed to what I had thought was a ‘Q’. ‘Z’ pointed to what I had thought was a lowercase ‘w’. ‘E’ pointed to what I had thought was a lowercase ‘i’. ‘R’ pointed to what I had thought was a lowercase ‘n’.

 Natasha Ozera.  

Natasha Ozera.  Tasha had gotten a permanent residence at Court and put in transfer paperwork to request Dimitri to be her guardian once he arrived there at the end of May.  

And Dimitri didn’t know it.

Well, if he was just wanting to use someone for sex, I’m pretty sure they’d both be down for that.  For some reason that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, though, that didn’t set well with me.

 

* * *

**Dimitri’s Point of View**

(the rest of this chapter)

* * *

“Princess, could I have a word with you?” I called, as I spotted Vasilisa Dragomir exiting her creative writing class on Friday afternoon.  As I would’ve expected, Novice Castile was walking behind, guarding her. I had changed out of my black ‘Strigoi’ attack clothing a few minutes beforehand so that I could have the conversation I was about to.  I had also checked schedules to confirm that Christian - and therefore, Rose - was on the other side of campus, so that I could talk to the princess alone.

“Guardian Belikov,” she said, eyes wide with surprise, “what is it?”

I said, “Before we begin, I understand that you have the capability to block Rose from the bond.  Could I ask you to do that now?” Her surprised look turned to puzzled. “I’ll explain as soon as you have done so.”

“I can for a little while, but it takes a lot of effort,” she offered, “I’ll do it now, but let’s make it quick.”

“It’s about Rose’s necklace,” I said, lowering my voice, “I don’t think it is a healing charm.”

“I know it’s weak,” she said, smiling, “but Adrian’s healing powers are really very limited.  I think they’ll get stronger with practice.”

“It’s not that,” I said.

Then the princess asked, “Then why would you think it’s not a healing charm?”

“When I was injured last week, Rose slipped it on me while I was unconscious and tucked it inside my shirt,” I said, “When I came to, wearing the necklace, all I could think about were two trains of thought: romantic feelings for Adrian and some very confusing, strange thoughts about myself.” I continued, making my voice almost a whisper so I could be sure that Castile wouldn’t overhear, “How all of my previous feelings about myself were mistaken and how _I_ was inappropriately taking advantage - of myself!  When I handed the necklace back to Rose, all of those thoughts went away.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, “That’s not the craziest story I’ve ever heard, but it’s not entirely rational, either.”

“Yes, I’m sure.  I managed to get her to take off the necklace on Sunday for a little while and asked her about her feelings, then had her pick it back up and asked her again.  She said pretty much the same feelings about Adrian and me as what I experienced.”

“Rose has been under compulsion before enough that she would know better! She wouldn’t keep wearing that with those kinds of feelings.  Why would she put the necklace back on, if she knew?”

“I think he used some other compulsion - outside of the necklace - to make her think she _wasn’t_ being compelled.  When I tried to convince her about it, she said that she had initially thought it was compulsion, but then Adrian had assured her he would never do that, and then she was just convinced he wouldn’t.  Her eyes glazed over a little when she told me that, too.”

“Why didn’t you just ask her not to wear it anymore?”

“She also told me that he suggested she should keep it on as much as possible or she wouldn’t get the benefit out of it.  She seemed pretty adamant that she should put it back on again.”

“Not to call you a liar, but this is a pretty serious accusation, Guardian Belikov.  And we’re talking about a friend of mine. Do you have any proof?”

“What if someone were to hand you the necklace?  Would you be able to confirm it - or even take the charm off of it?”  

“If you can get Rose to give the necklace to me, I can confirm what you’re saying - or deny it, if you’re wrong.  But if it really is a compulsion charm and I remove the spirit energy from the necklace, Adrian could just put it right back on again the next time he saw her.  We’d need to find a way to get it away from her for long enough to get his other compulsion off of her.”

I thought for a moment, then I got an idea.  “I think I can make that happen,” I said, “Do you have a way through the bond to get a message to Rose?”

“Yes,” she said.

I asked, “Can you ask her to wear a tank top to our weapons training session on Sunday morning?”

“Why is that?” she asked.  

“She still can’t hear this, right?”

“Not yet,” she said.

“I need to be able to see the chain of the necklace to get it away from her.”

* * *

Rose and I were conducting our weapons training differently today.  I sat down at a table in the corner of the room, slipped my hooded sweatshirt off so that I was down to my tank, and slipped on my gloves, motioning for Rose to sit across from me.

“Okay, Rose,” I said, “focus will be especially important today.”  I unrolled the bundle of knives and swords that I had brought with me.  “You’ve shown me that you are ready to move beyond dulled practice knives and practice swords, so today, these are sharpened.  As important as it is for you to know how to use one to cut or kill, it’s equally important to know how to avoid killing or injuring yourself, your charge, or your guarding partner - or another Moroi who might be endangering your charge that you’d need to defend against without killing.”

I continued, “Today, we will be working on our hand-to-hand combat with these sharpened implements.  The goal will be to protect yourself with the sharp knife, using the defensive techniques we have already learned, without cutting me.  I asked Vasilisa to ask you to wear a tank top since we’ll both be working with sharpened knives. As you can see, I’ve done the same. Getting a clear view of where your opponent’s arms and neck are should make it easier to determine how to avoid them with your weapon.”

“Damn, Comrade,” Rose said, with a suggestive smirk, running her eyes down my chest, “here I was just hoping you’d wanted to get a clear view of me in a tank top.  You can’t possibly know how much I enjoy seeing _you_ in one.”  

“Roza,” I joked, pointing to my face and giving her a smile, “my eyes are up here.”

This flirtatious streak of hers had gotten more blatant every time we were alone.  Part of me felt a little thrill at the way her beautiful eyes lit with desire as I could practically feel her gaze on my skin, but as much as I loved her playful side and desperately wanted to have her flirting (and more) with me, I couldn’t have her doing this while we were training today - especially if there was even a remote possibility someone else could see us.  And while her amorous attention was pleasant, as long as the necklace was still on, that attention was borne out of pure lust, and I could never trust that the necklace wouldn’t make her regret any actions that came of that attention later.

“There you go again, taking all of the fun out of it,” she replied, but became serious as she asked, “Where should we start?”

I went through some of the techniques to avoid stabbing or cutting yourself, then we picked up the knives and had Rose try to copy a few moves.  She seemed to have them down and a lot of them were fairly rudimentary things that physical coordination and a normal sense of self-preservation might already cause you to do.  Next, we moved on to how to avoid using the blade on someone else during hand-to-hand combat. These moves were much trickier. She had always been a quick study, so I had a pretty good idea that she could handle this, but in truth, most novices never got to this level and I really wasn’t sure she was ready, but I needed to be able to use the sharpened knife on her today.  

After having her work some of these moves by herself, it was time for the hand-to-hand.  “We’ll start out easy and at half-speed. Once I’m comfortable that you have each of the techniques down, we’ll go to full speed with them, one at a time.  If you manage to do well for the first few assaults, we’ll pick up some more complicated things.”

I was nervous.  This could easily land either of us in the med clinic if something went wrong with one of the more complicated moves.  

But this was Roza.  If any of the novices could master this, it was her.  And I needed to get us to full speed with the difficult techniques for what I needed to do.

Rose’s skill in battle training never disappointed, and today was no exception.  She was able to very quickly pick up the easiest of the techniques and performed them flawlessly, even at full speed.  The more difficult moves would be the area that she would have trouble achieving, so I went through each of the simpler moves multiple times.  I stressed to her that if she had difficulty with one of the more advanced methods when moving at full speed that she could always move to a simpler one or ask me to stop.

One of the techniques was to roll the blade of a knife within your hand when your knife was close to your target’s skin but out of their view, so that the person could feel the metal but that the blade would be pointing away.  It was a good way to intimidate without risking any actual harm, but it was hard to master, especially for someone who didn’t have very long or dexterous fingers. Thankfully, I had both of those, but Rose’s hands were quite small compared to my own.  It was exactly this move that I would need, but it was also exactly this move that I was most afraid she could injure either of us with.

We tried the rolling knife move very slowly the first time through.  We got in position so that Rose had the knife up against my collarbone, preparing to roll the knife against her palm.  I could feel her knuckles moving as she rotated it, something that shouldn’t be noticeable if she was doing the move correctly.  The blade grazed my skin, leaving a small nick, as I told her, “Stop,” and pulled my body away to turn towards her. “Roza, even slow, you’ve just cut me.”  I showed her the small cut she had left on my clavicle.

I could hear the hiss through her teeth as she realized she had hurt me.  “This is exactly what I was afraid of, Dimitri,” she said, “I don’t mind the idea of killing Strigoi, but hurting live people …” her voice trailed off.

“It’s a minor cut,” I told her, “Sit down at the table for a minute and let’s work on your hold and fingering technique for the knife roll.  Once you get a feel for that, we can try the hand-to-hand again.” After she turned to sit, I reached for my phone and glanced at the time: ten minutes after seven o’clock.  It would be cutting it close to get this done, but better to be towards the end of the training so that she didn’t have time to come up with a different solution.

Rose was having more difficulty with the roll than I anticipated and the minutes began to tick by faster.  At seven twenty-five, I wasn’t sure she was ready, but I knew that I was running out of time. It had to be today and our training would end in five minutes.  Even if Rose had executed the move perfectly on the first try, I knew that I would only get one shot at this, both because I couldn’t spend an abnormal amount of time on the move I’d be doing and because it had to look like an accident.  If I didn’t get it perfectly right on the first try, I’d have to come up with another plan.

But this was Roza.  I had to do it right.

We tried doing the move in slow-motion again.  To my relief, she was more awkward than she ought to be, and though I couldn’t feel her knuckles this time, it was obvious that hand was doing something that should’ve been unnoticeable, but she finally had it to a point where I was comfortable she wasn’t going to slice open an artery if we moved to full speed.

“It’s time to move on to full speed,” I told her, “but we’re running out of time for today and I know that you need to get breakfast.  I’ll demonstrate the move at full-speed on you, then you’ll get a chance to try it next session.”

Here.  This was my chance.  I got into fighting stance, facing Rose with my knife in hand.  We went through the actions that would lead to getting into position for the move, my parrying and thrusting and her feinting, back and forth.  Then, finally, I got her where I needed her to be, I locked my arm around her neck. I got my blade in position, just beside the chain of the necklace, blade up to her neck along her jugular vein, silently thanking God for my extra height that her blade had to be lower on me, followed immediately by praying that this would work.  As I rolled the blade so that the sharpest part was pointing away from Rose, I threaded the sharp edge through the chain of her necklace.”There,” I said, pressing the dull side of the knife up against Rose’s neck, “Does it feel like you have a blade against your throat?”

“Yes,” she breathed.  It almost seemed like there was fear in her tone.  I still had the knife up to her neck.

“Are you okay, Roza?” I asked.  I couldn’t let my guard down or forget my task, but I didn’t want her to fear me.  

She was breathing harder than she should’ve been for being locked in place for this long. “It’s part of the job, Comrade,” she half-whispered.

I took a deep breath. “Just remember, this is only training and I know what I’m doing.  The blade is already facing away from you. So now, if I push the knife in a little,” to illustrate, I pushed the knife in a little and I heard her gasp slightly, “it will feel like I’m going to cut you, but it won’t cut.”   _Here it comes_ , I thought.  I pulled the knife away quickly, looping my thumb over the chain to make sure it sliced through, blade severing the chain of the necklace cleanly.  The necklace fell to the ground, broken.

“Roza,” I said, feigning surprise, “I’m so sorry!  I must’ve caught the blade on your necklace when I pulled it away.”  I leaned down to pick it up. “This was completely my fault. Let me get the chain repaired for you.”  

Rose looked dazed, as if the fear of that blade upon her neck was still affecting her.  “Yeah,” she said, “Okay.” I put it in my pocket.

“Are you okay?” I asked her again, “You look pale.”  If it hadn’t been a public place, I would’ve put my arm around her and held her, but instead I had taken her hand in both of mine for just a moment, squeezed it gently, then released it.

“I’m fine now,” she said, already looking much less shaken, “I don’t know what came over me.  If there was ever anyone I would trust, it’s you. With the way we feel about each other, I’m sure you’d never hurt me.”  She smiled.

“I wouldn’t,” I said, glancing around to make sure the gym was empty before adding, “Because I love you, Roza.”

“You know that I love you, too - right, Dimitri?” she asked.

“I do now,” I smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! It’s such a relief to finally have that necklace off, for good! Romitri’s through the worst of it now, but there are still some bumps and twists along the way, including the visit from Zmey and questions about that pending guardian transfer for Dimitri coming.  
> And I’d like to offer a special thanks to my new beta reader, CherryHathawayBelikova! She is doing an awesome job and is really helping me to become a better writer.  
> P.S. For anyone curious, I did a quick Google search a few chapters back of aura colors to pull all of the colors I put in - green for jealousy and peace, pink for love, red for anger and passion (I know this contradicts the purple Adrian saw in Indigo Spell, so I made it attraction instead of passion), orange for restraint or control, and yellow for happiness.  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> Have you ever cut yourself or someone else while working with a sharp blade (like Rose did to Dimitri in this chapter)?  
> I’m actually a pretty accident-prone person. I’ve cut friends, I’ve cut family members, and I’ve even cut myself so badly that I’ve left scars. On at least three occasions within the past year, in fact, I’ve actually cut the tip of my fingernail off while slicing vegetables making dinner!


	19. Big Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely from Dimitri's Point of View.

* * *

**Dimitri's Point of View**

* * *

I met Rose in the cafeteria.  She was running late, but she looked like she was trying to set a new speed-eating record for scarfing down a stack of five pancakes.  While she finished eating, Vasilisa, sitting beside her, remarked that she had already downed three sausage links. For such a small woman, my Roza could eat more than anyone else I knew.

I ate a lot, too, but most of what I ate was a much healthier selection than what she had chosen.  My typical breakfast, which I had gotten in my apartment this morning, was egg whites and lowfat cottage cheese. The American cottage cheese reminded me a lot of the tvorog I’d eaten back home in Baia with my family.

“Rose, are you ready to go for sparring?  You’re fifteen minutes late,” I remarked.

“I’m almost done.  Two more bites. Keep your pants on, Comrade,” she replied, smiling, her mouth so full of food that it was a wonder I could understand her. It was hard to keep from smiling back at her when she was like this.

“No one can eat like Rose does,” said Christian, who was sitting beside Vasilisa, “I’m sure she’ll be done in no time.”

“Are you already dressed for sparring, Rose?  Or do you need to change first?” I asked.

“I’m still in my training clothes from earlier, so I should be fine for sparring,” she said, popping the last forkful of pancake in her mouth, “Let’s go.”  She got up and took her tray over to the dish return. Christian walked up to get something from one of the food counters at the same time.

“Princess,” I said to Vasilisa in a low voice once Rose was out of earshot, “I have the necklace now, but I’d rather not have Rose see me handing it to you.  Can we meet this afternoon while Rose’s father is here? Outside the chapel after the service?”

“Okay, I’ll see you then,” she said.  I started to turn.

“Hey, Dimitri,” she said, “Actually, may I call you Dimitri?”  

I nodded. “Yes, of course, Princess.”

“Feel free to call me Lissa.  I think you might be right. Rose’s aura, with you, today - it’s different.  And I can see yours when you’re with her. You love her, don’t you?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“She loves you, too.”

* * *

Our walk to the courtyard of the elementary campus Moroi dorm was in a comfortable silence.  For some reason, there was no one that I could be more at ease with than my Roza. Even before I loved her, it always just felt good to be around her.  For part of the time we were walking, I was also deep in thought.

I always hated training in a place where there might be an audience, but I needed a place with some different terrain and it was unlikely that anyone would be watching outside the elementary Moroi dorms.  People watching would be an unwanted distraction that Rose didn’t need. While training wasn’t exactly private, spectators could cause embarrassment at best and mistakes at worst. On the bright side, elementary Moroi would probably be so far removed from the dhampirs’ guardian curriculum that they’d have little understanding of what we were doing.  Simple moves - right or wrong - would easily impress them.

Now that the necklace was finally off, I had a feeling the dynamics of our relationship might have some added heat to them, so this was also definitely a calculated risk for that reason, but Rose didn’t know yet that my position on doing more than just kissing her had changed.  

Overall, it would probably be for the better for both of us if she still thought that I wouldn’t go further yet - or even if she still continued to think that I wouldn’t all the way until her graduation - but I don’t know if I could really hold out for that long, now that there was nothing but the propriety of what I ‘should’ do standing in my way.  The beautiful woman that I loved finally knew she loved me back again. I wanted to show her that love, in many ways - including a few very, very physical ways.

I couldn’t think too deeply about such things now, because if I did, it would be physically evident.  Especially to Rose while we were sparring in close contact.

Ugh, close contact.  Feeling our bodies up against each other, touching in so many places.  All those times my hands had accidentally touched her body. It was difficult to be in close contact with her like that before we made love.  It was irresistible after we had been together, knowing the feel of her surrounding me like that. It had transitioned to painful to be that close to her once the necklace had made her think her feelings had changed.  Now, it would be excruciating, knowing that she could return all that I was feeling if I would only let her - let us _both_ \- explore this.  And I’d really like to explore this.  Explore _her_.  I’d just barely gotten to enjoy bringing her physical pleasure.  I lay awake almost every night imagining the way she looked, the sounds she would make, the feel of her body.  

No, I definitely couldn’t wait until after graduation.  And I didn’t want to make her wait that long, either. Maybe I could convince Yuri to swap another Sunday night patrol shift with me.

We were almost to the courtyard now.  I needed to clear my head and focus on the training at hand.  

When we got to the courtyard, I pointed to a two-foot-tall ledge built into the courtyard’s landscaping.  “Rose, this is why I have chosen this courtyard for today’s sparring,” I said, “I would like you to stand on that ledge.”

Rose took a big step up onto the ledge and turned to face me.  “Today, we’ll be working on fighting an opponent smaller than yourself,” I continued, “For your height, you may not encounter it frequently, but it isn’t outside the realm of possibility.  The lion’s share of Strigoi are former adult Moroi, but you may encounter the occasional Strigoi who had been a dhampir, a human, or even a child before they were turned.”

“So ... the ledge is to make me taller than you?” she asked, looking almost confused and perhaps a bit amused.

“Yes,” I said, “Pretend I’m under five feet tall.  If we need a different angle, we will have you stand on the picnic table, though that will make the height difference bigger.”

“I don’t think my brain’s gonna fall for that, Comrade,” she said.

I replied, “Try,” just before launching into techniques for how to fight an opponent shorter than you, demonstrating each one with her.

The ledge hadn’t worked for a lot of the moves, so we spent the bulk of our time with her standing on the picnic table.  Despite being near the elementary Moroi dorm, we still managed to attract some attention, mostly in the form of second or third grade Moroi girls.

As we got closer to the end of the sparring time, Rose said, grinning ear to ear, “Hey, Comrade, all these kids have come to watch.  How about I get off this picnic table and we show them some _real_ sparring?  Maybe let them see just how hard it is for you to beat me?”

I looked at the time.  We had ten minutes left.  For the most part, it had been my day off, as well as Rose's.  I was tired, sore, and beaten by nearly every senior novice that I had attacked in the past week.  But when she looked at me like that, there was no way I could say ‘no’ to Roza. Especially when she threw down such a challenge.

“Okay,” I said, “Five minutes.  That’s it.”

We began to go through some full-speed fight moves.  As always, I definitely had strength and size on my side, but Rose was evasive and quick.  Every strike I would make for the first minute or so, she managed to dodge. As Rose moved, the fight moved, too.  Eventually, she had strayed onto the ledge that we had been using to give her a height advantage. “None of that, now, Roza,” I said to her as I leapt up onto the ledge to join her.  She aimed a well-placed elbow into my chest as I landed, but it wasn’t enough to do any serious damage. I maneuvered the fight so that her back was to the edge of the ledge, hoping that I could knock her off backwards and that this would double as a lesson to teach her to be aware of her surroundings.

Suddenly, I saw him, less than a hundred meters away.  He was coming toward the courtyard we were in. I stopped moving, eyes locked on him.  Rose didn’t fight me on this. I hissed out, “Zmey! Get behind me, Roza,” as I grabbed Rose by the arms and pulled her behind me ready to protect her, using myself as a shield.

Rose asked, in a hushed tone, from behind me, “The guy you made the bargain with?”  I could only nod.

As he got closer, I noticed that Guardian Petrov was with him and that they were walking right to where we were standing.  I went rigid as I braced for the worst. Was he coming to collect on his deal?

Guardian Petrov and Zmey walked right up to where we were both standing.  Guardian Petrov looked behind my shoulder and said, “Rose, this is your father, Ibrahim Mazur.”

Zmey chuckled and outstretched his hand to Rose, “Hello, Rosemarie.  You don’t have to call me dad, though. You’re welcome to call me Abe, if you’d like.”  

She stepped around me and shook his hand.  This was one of the few times when not facing down something heinous that I’ve seen Rose timid.  I couldn’t blame her because I felt the same.

“Guardian Belikov,” Zmey said with a knowing smile, “It’s nice to see you again.”

Guardian Petrov gave me a questioning look and asked, “You know each other?”

“Why, I’ve known him since he was a teenager - smaller than Rosemarie, if you can believe it from the giant he grew into.  Dimitri, here, has always been quite the formidable fighter, though, even back then. Some might even say he could’ve taken down a man twice his size,” he said.  Seeing Zmey here now, I felt waves of bitterness and dread rolling off of me, but the introduction had left me stunned.

 _Zmey was Roza’s father_.  

“Mr. Mazur’s flight had arrived half an hour ahead of schedule and he didn’t have any checked baggage on the plane, so he was able to arrive here more than an hour ahead of schedule,” said Guardian Petrov.

My mind was reeling.  How could this happen?  I was searching his face for a resemblance.  It was there. This was real. The cutthroat, villainous, diabolical man I owe an almost priceless debt to is the father of the woman I love.

And yet … could this be an opportunity?

I hadn’t even realized that I was tuning out the conversation as Rose was being more properly introduced.

“Guardian Belikov,” said Alberta, “I know we’re a few minutes early.  Do you think you could cut your training session with Rose early now so that she can spend some time with her father?  I know he’s travelled an awfully long way.”

“Yes, of course,” I said, “I should get to my gate duty, anyways.  Rose has an hour-long training with Guardian Bondar in half an hour - should we ask him to cancel?”

Mazur replied, “No, my boy, I don’t think there’ll be any need for that.  I’d hate to take her away from her training.”

* * *

Though it was the same hour it always was, gate duty had felt longer than it had ever felt before, but it had finally ended.  Rose had another half hour with Yuri before she was due back from her training and Guardian Petrov had directed me here to find him.  

Here I was.  There was no turning back now.  I took a deep, steadying breath as I knocked on the door.  He opened it, bid me inside, pointed to a chair, and sat across the desk from me.  How this man managed to have an office at St. Vladimir’s, of all places, was beyond my understanding, but he often managed to have his hands in everything.  He was definitely not a man to be trifled with.

“What brings you to see me here today, Mr. Belikov?” Zmey asked, “You’re taking up my valuable time.  Something I don’t have a lot of at St. Vladimir’s.” It bothered me that he chose not to use my title of guardian, but my debt to him had given him that privilege - and so much more.  No matter, I wasn’t coming to him today as a guardian. I was coming to him as a man.

I hesitated.  “I’d like to ask you another favor, sir.  I’m prepared with money to pay this time.”

“I doubt you have the means to pay me what it would take,” he said.

“I’m a guardian, sir.  I live a modest life. I don’t spend money for leisure.  I have the equivalent of ten thousand American dollars in my savings today.  You can have every last penny.”

“It depends on the favor,” he said, “Some things don’t come that cheap.”

Part of me balked, but part of me knew that this was what I was afraid of. I tried to keep my clenched fists at my side from showing. “If that’s not enough, sir, I’m prepared to apply for transfer to become your personal guardian - in addition to the money.  I’ve still got at least twenty years of my career ahead of me and I’ve already earned a rank of Blood Master level seven. I doubt you’ll find better protection.”

“Well, now, that’s quite an offer.  What favor do you want to ask of me?” he asked.

“It’s Adrian Ivashkov,” I replied, “I’d like you to get him to stay away from Rose.”

“You’re aware that you’re asking me to get rid of _another_ royal?  The favorite nephew of the queen, no less.”

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“Well, you do tend to make requests that don’t exactly fly under the radar, don’t you, Belikov?  Making a relative of the queen disappear will not be cheap. Not to mention the fact that, from what I heard from Rose this morning, he also happens to be Rose’s boyfriend.  Why would you ask me to keep him away from her like that?”

“He’s been using compulsion on her.  When he took her to Missoula last week, he took her to a hotel and tried to seduce her.”

“Do you have proof of this claim, Belikov?”

“Not yet, but I will soon.  I’ve talked to Princess Dragomir about it.  She’ll be verifying the compulsion this afternoon.”

“Why wouldn’t you go to the authorities with this?  Using compulsion is against the law.”

“Adrian Ivashkov’s powers and royal position make him difficult to reach by legal means.  I know that you can work through other channels.”

“Keeping her safe means this much to you?”

“Yes, sir,” I said, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice, “There’s not much I wouldn’t do for her.”

“And you’re prepared to give up all of the money you have, _and_ your freedom, for her sake?”

“Yes, sir,” I repeated.

“Why would you do this for my daughter?”

I took another deep, steadying breath.  I closed my eyes and swallowed past the thick lump in my throat.  Here it was: the moment that could destroy my career, or - quite possibly - my life. “Because I love her. Sir.”

I continued as quickly as I could to keep him from jumping immediately to conclusions - correct as they may be - without all of the facts, “I didn’t mean to get involved, sir. I tried not to. I didn’t want to love her, but I do.”

“Belikov, as you know, my daughter is an adult now, legally-speaking.  Maybe she wasn’t when this all started, but I’m quite certain that you are not the sort to engage in anything illicit with a minor - are you, Mr. Belikov? And as you’ve undoubtedly already seen, she will do pretty much whatever she wants with her life, whether it’s the right thing or not.”  He laughed a rueful laugh as he continued. “She takes after me in that way, I think. It seems from what I’ve been told that Rosemarie is enough of a fighter to prevent anything she didn’t think she wanted to happen. She is more like her mother in that respect. Guardian Petrov has informed me that Rosemarie is easily the best novice that this school has seen in generations, and I’m to understand that I have your training to thank for that.  What you’ve done to not only protect my daughter from future harm but also to safeguard her career prospects shows that you have done what is best for her. So whether or not the relationship you have with Rosemarie is on the up-and-up, I believe that it was not something unwanted, nor was it a hindrance to her education.”

I breathed a small sigh of relief as I realized that Zmey had no intentions of forbidding - or punishing - my romantic feelings for his teenage daughter.

“Guardian Belikov, you’d really give up everything you have for Rosemarie?” he asked.

I answered, free of hesitation this time, “Without question, sir.”

He asked, “Even if it meant you’d never see her again?”

“If it kept her safe, sir,” I replied, “yes, I would.”

Zmey continued, “And you’re pretty convinced that Adrian Ivashkov has been compelling her like this?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Ivashkov and I have already had an _interesting_ conversation this morning about the unsanctioned trip that he took her on to Missoula, especially considering he risked her life when the Strigoi attacked them.  Perhaps things have already progressed beyond the point of words with him. I will see what I can do to make this problem go away.”

“Sir, tell me where and I will have the money deposited in your account as soon as possible.  Would you like me to file the transfer paperwork?”

“There will be no need for either of those things.  You’ve done me a great service by protecting my daughter in this way.  Guardian Belikov, your debt to me is now paid in full.”

“Yes sir,” I said, working to keep the emotion out of my voice as I reached to shake his hand and finding myself shaking it a little too vigorously, “Thank you, sir.”  The extra ‘sir’ seemed necessary in light of both his power and the weight he had just removed from my shoulders.

Zmey pulled his hand back and said to me, “By the way, Guardian Belikov, I don’t believe that being assigned to me is your privilege to grant at this time.”

“Because of Princess Dragomir, you mean?  I wouldn’t be able to serve in that position while Rose is also her guardian.  I’ve already contacted the guardian council to request a different assignment, offering to work an office position at headquarters.”  

“I _have_ been keeping tabs on your assignment over the years - and possibly providing the council with some insight on your assignment from time to time.  Perhaps you haven’t been informed yet, but your new assignment has already been made - to another charge.”

“Does my new charge have a permanent residence at Court?” I asked.   _Please say ‘yes’._

“Aren’t you curious about who it is?” he asked.

“I don’t know if it matters,” I replied.

“Yes, from what I’ve heard, your new charge has a permanent residence at Court, but won’t be there until after the St. Vladimir’s graduation in May.”

“Thank you again, sir.  I won’t bother you any longer.” I gave him a polite nod and prepared to walk out of the office.

“See to it that my daughter continues to be taken care of,” he replied, “That’s all the thanks I need.”

“Yes, sir.”  I left, finding it hard not to hold my shoulders a bit higher than before.

After I exited, I pondered his words.  He had said ‘ _providing the council with insight on your assignment_ ’?  Was Zmey the reason I was assigned to find Vasilisa - and Rose - when Rose and the princess were in Portland?  

* * *

“Princess Vasilisa,” I said, as I called out to her as I passed through the crowd that was letting out from the chapel. It had felt wrong that I wasn’t attending the service, but duty today had prevented it.  I had certainly found more peace with Roza, but I still sought that peace found in attending the church.

The princess stopped and turned to see me approaching.  She and Christian Ozera had their arms around each other.  “Dimitri,” she said, “You know that you can call me Lissa, right?”

I didn’t really acknowledge her words.  The name, while often on Roza’s beautiful lips, still felt strange on my own.  “Here it is,” I told her, holding the broken chain out to her. It was also strange to wear my training glove with my guardian dress uniform, but I couldn't risk the charm touching my skin.  She held out a hand - obviously ungloved - and took it from me.

The instant it was in her hands, her face turned to an angry grimace at me.  In confusion, she looked at Christian, then said, still looking at him instead of me, “This is definitely a compulsion charm.  It’s really strong. If I didn’t know better, I’d be off to find Adrian right now to try to make him mine.”

I could tell from the look on Christian’s face that this was all news to him.  “This is the necklace that Rose has been wearing,” she said, “Adrian told her it was a healing charm.”  She frowned. “It’s not. It’s _definitely_ not.”

Vasilisa took arm from around Christian and held the broken necklace with both hands, closing her eyes.  After a moment, she furrowed her brow. She opened her eyes and looked at me. “The compulsion on the necklace is gone now,” she said, “I’ll have to get Rose alone to get the other compulsion from her.”

“Compulsion to do what?”  My eyes flitted to Christian as he spoke.  I could tell this was becoming very alarming and upsetting to him.

“To have feelings for Adrian and to question … some other things,” she said.  I was grateful to the princess that she had kept Rose’s feelings for me a secret.  

“If we would get the chain repaired, do you think it might be within your power to make an _anti-compulsion_ charm?  Something that would keep her from being compelled again?” I asked.  I was scared to dare to hope, but it was worth asking. For being something illegal, Rose seemed to be the victim of it far too often for my liking.

Vasilisa thought for a moment.  “I’ve never thought about doing something like that.  It might be possible. It’s certainly worth trying. I think I might even have another chain that the cross could go on, so that there’d be no need to fix it.”

“That’s great news.  Also, would you be willing to tell Rose’s father about the compulsion before he leaves today?” I asked.

As I might have expected, this drew a curious expression from both Vasilisa and Christian.  “Why Rose’s father?” Christian asked.

“It’s a long story,” I said, “but Mr. Mazur has some ... resources ...  that might help to keep Rose safe.”

Vasilisa said, “I think I could, but I think I’d have to do it so that Rose doesn’t know.  If I want to remove the compulsion still on Rose, I’ll have to use more compulsion to do it.  If Mr. Mazur were to know I was compelling Rose in order to make her believe that she was being compelled by Adrian,” she paused, “it sort of takes away my believability - even if it is just making her see the truth again.”

I nodded. “I understand.  Thank you, Princess,” I said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Zmey. The man, the myth, the legend. I loved writing this chapter, just to get a glimpse of the awesome power that he has in the Moroi world. I’ve actually had that part with Dimitri in his office written for a while because I was just too excited for it to come.  
> So, here’s my new question of the week:  
> What’s your biggest brush with greatness (power like Zmey, wealth, celebrity/fame) that you’ve ever had?  
> In my life, I have gone through a lot of different phases to come to where I am today, but when I was in college, I was a huge fan of a rock band and I had joined a fan site for them, owned all of their music, and had gone to a couple of their concerts. After their third concert that I’d gone to, I stopped by their merchandise table and got to talk to each of the band members individually, had a really deep conversation with one of them, and even got to help carry their instruments to the trailer. At one point that night, I had asked the lead guitarist what the lyrics were to a background part of one of the songs that wasn’t in the CD liner, and he immediately pulled out his guitar and played the entire section of the song and sang it for me!


	20. Back to My Roots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are curious and not already familiar with these, Guardian ranks can be found at: <https://vampireacademy.fandom.com/wiki/Guardians>. These will be referenced again a bit in Chapter 22.

When Yuri and I finished our training session, my father was standing outside the classroom door.   _My father_.  Just thinking the words sounded so strange and foreign to me.  This was my father.

Knowing about Dimitri and his deal with him just made this all even more strange.  If I had heard he was the sort of man that made deals like that, it would’ve been odd enough.  Knowing that Dimitri was in his debt was something different.

I also couldn’t escape the way Dimitri reacted to him.  There are few people in this world that I’ve seen cause such revulsion in Dimitri.  None of them that I’ve met are people that I’d like to cross paths with. His first instinct when he saw him was to protect me, too - no thought of himself, or of the man coming to collect his due, just to protect me, fiercely.  Something in the back of my mind was in awe of the fact that Dimitri would put me first to that extent, this incredibly beautiful man who had told me that he loved me and wanted to put my safety before his own life.

I couldn’t deny that I love him, too.  All of my doubts from the past few weeks seemed to have evaporated when he’d had that knife up to my throat earlier.  I’m not sure if the life flashed before my eyes or I just realized how much I can truly trust him, but I knew. He was the only man for me.  Dimitri - and a dozen others - was my past, and Adrian may have been my present, but Dimitri was my future. The only future I wanted.

My father, though - _he_ was the unknown.  My mother had loved him.  Still loved him, or at least trusted him, if her arranging this introduction was any indication.  She had wanted me to meet him. I might even think that she thought highly of him. He certainly was a puzzle.

After Dimitri had left for his gate duty, Abe and I had a few minutes to talk.  He had asked me a few brief questions about my friends and relationships on campus, then we separated so that I would have time to shower and change before my training in this classroom with Yuri.  To be honest, I’m not sure I knew what to say to him then - or now - and I didn’t exactly have any concrete plans. Admittedly, I had a lot of questions, but I wasn’t sure where to start. I decided while I was in training with Yuri, though, that even though Abe was apparently some criminal mastermind, I wasn’t going to let him intimidate me - especially if he was my father.

“Hello again, Rosemarie,” he said, motioning out towards the building exit doors as Yuri gave me a wave and walked away, “Shall we walk?”

“Old man, please call me Rose,” I said.

“‘Old man’,” he said, with a dry chuckle, “I don’t know if I like you calling me that.”

“Well, get used to it,” I said, “I think it’s gonna stick.  Unless, of course, you’d like me to call you _Zmey_.”

“So, you’ve heard that name, too, I see.  You and Guardian Belikov must be very close, indeed.”  Close. Yeah, that’s one word for it. I saw an odd glint forming in his eye as he saw my reaction to that statement.

“He told me about his debt to you,” I said, “I don’t know what I think of the fact that you’re the kind of man who would extort some future promised favor out of a thirteen-year-old boy who was just trying to keep his family safe.”

“This isn’t the way I wanted to start things, Rosemarie, but you should know that I never would’ve done what I did for so little if I didn’t care for him and his family.”

“Then why make him owe anything at all?  You could’ve just done this one out of the goodness of your heart.  And, once again, it’s just _Rose_ , please.”

“People don’t survive in my line of work doing things out of the goodness of their hearts,” he said.

I didn’t want to have to play this card, but it felt necessary.  “So why not do it for me now? Can’t you make this just go away if I ask you for it?  Just wipe the slate clean because I care about him and he is my friend.“

Abe chuckled again.  I wasn’t sure I liked it.  “Friend, indeed. No matter.  Dimitri Belikov’s debt was already paid in full to me earlier today.”

“In full?” I asked, “How?”

“That is between Mr. Belikov and me.  He came to me this morning and settled things.  For now, it’s nothing that you need to worry about,” he said.

“Easier said than done, old man.  How did he settle things?” I asked.

Abe rubbed his chin in a pensive gesture, then said, “If you really must know, I think that’s something for him to tell you.”  It bothered me not knowing, but if this guy was half as stubborn as I am, I wasn’t going to get the answer out of him. He continued, “I know you must have many other questions for me, though, Rose.  You’re welcome to ask me.”

“Can you tell me about you and my mother?” I asked, expecting he would shy away from the question.

“Ah, now that’s a question I was hoping you’d ask.  You deserve the truth about this. Your mother and I ... we met many years ago.  Janine is a beautiful woman, in more ways than one. You weren’t planned, but we loved each other and I have no regrets that she had you.  In as much as I’ve ever loved a woman, I loved her. Although I don’t know if it ever would be, the timing was not right for us, so we parted ways.  Neither of us knew when she left that she was pregnant with you. She didn’t have a way to contact me after she found out, so it was more than a year before I was told.”

“So, why didn’t you come see me once you were told?” I asked.  It wasn’t fair to feel entitled to know my father and there are certainly a lot of dhampirs out there who didn’t, but if he cared for my mother and wanted to be a part of my life now, I felt he owed it to me to know why not before.  

“The domestic life was not right for either of us.  We had agreed that until you were capable of defending yourself, it was in your best interest to stay away from me.  At this point in your life, though, Rose, you’ve shown that you are.”

“So, you waited until I had gone on the run for a few years, killed some Strigoi, and got into a major battle defending our school before thinking I could handle myself?” I asked.

Abe laughed, “You do have your mother’s fire, don’t you?  You have no idea the sort of things I’m up against on a daily basis.  I couldn’t put you in that kind of peril.”

I doubted he knew the half about the kinds of peril I’d already been in, but at least he was trying to do the right thing.  “You get points for trying, old man. But it seems like you suddenly coming here and wanting to spend an entire day with me when I’ve never met you before is a little unfair.”

“Rose,” he said, “I couldn’t expect you not to feel like this is all a bit forced, but I couldn’t exactly fly across the world to pop in for five minutes and then leave again.  I’d really love to get to know you better.”

“From what I know, you’ve got connections.  Don’t you have access to all of my records?” I asked.

“Records can only tell you so much,” he replied, “I’d like to get to know the extraordinary girl I’ve only been able to read about before today.”

“What do you want to know?”

He began, “Why don’t you start by telling me about your time away from the academy, out in the human world?  I hate to admit it, but it honestly all sounds pretty exciting to me: being on the run, getting to experience how different people live.  What did you do while you were away?”

“How about if I tell you what happened when we were away and then you tell me about your ‘business’?” I asked.

Abe sighed, “You drive a hard bargain, Rose.  You’re definitely my daughter. I don’t want to lie to you, so I’ll agree to that, but you might not like all that you hear.”

* * *

By the time we were getting ready for lunch, Abe and I were unbelievably starting to have an odd sort of comfort with each other.  He offered to have us go to a specially-prepared room for our lunch where they would bring in catered food, so I asked if Lissa could come.  I had actually had yet to see Lissa in person today, but I knew it wouldn’t be too hard to find her.

“Sure,” he said, “Your friend is more than welcome to join.  Would you like Guardian Belikov to join us, also?”

I didn’t quite know what to think of the fact that he’d ask that and I honestly didn’t know if I wanted him to see the two of us together - he seemed surprisingly perceptive. “Umm, I don’t know.  I’m not sure I’d know how to get in touch with him. And he might be on duty.”

“I’m pretty sure I could find him,” he said, “I think I should get to know this man who is spending so much time with my daughter better.”

Oddly, he’d never asked to have Adrian join.  I hadn’t given a lot of thought to Adrian since this morning when Dimitri had the knife to my throat, but I told my father about him earlier when he had asked about my friends and relationships.  

Adrian and I had never said we were exclusive, but there was some sort of a relationship there - however undefined it was.  Neither of us had made a commitment. I think my subconscious still knew somewhere deep down that my heart belonged to Dimitri, even if I hadn’t consciously admitted that it had on the surface.  And even if I’d gone pretty far with Adrian, I still couldn’t turn away from Dimitri, happily kissing him every morning he’d let me. But whether or not I kissed Dimitri then - or _should’ve_ kissed Dimitri then - I felt like I should find a way to break off my ‘relationship’ with Adrian now.  Part of me felt guilty for those morning kisses, even with no real commitment to Adrian. The same small part of me still wondered if I hadn’t really given Adrian a fair shot and should’ve tried harder with him, too.  But I didn’t want to try with him anymore. Love was love and I was beginning to think that I knew where my heart always belonged.

Still, I couldn’t suddenly intentionally leave him out from our lunch plans today without an explanation.  I asked Abe, “What about Adrian? He’s been spending a lot of time with me, too.”

“I don’t know if he would want to join us,” Abe answered, “He and I had a chat this morning just after you went to your training about your ill-advised trip to Missoula.  Since then, I have given some thought to a few other things I might want to talk with him about. I think he might not be so keen to spend time with me right now, but you’re certainly welcome to invite him.”  

Knowing he had talked to Adrian made me concerned.  He’d been officially my father, to me, for a full four hours, and he’d already threatened my boyfriend and apparently made some sort of deal with the man I love.  “What was so bad about taking the trip to Missoula?” I asked, “We had two guardians with us. Plus, I’m pretty much a guardian now, too. How is that different from when Victor Dashkov took us there?”

“When Victor Dashkov took you to Missoula, it was during daylight hours and you had three court-sanctioned guardians, all of whom had achieved a Blood Master rank.  When Adrian Ivashkov took you out, it was after dark with only two guardians, one of whom was a barely-passing Quarter Red Moon who had never encountered a Strigoi before.”

“And you don’t think I could handle myself outside of the wards?”  

“No, I know you could, but you would’ve almost been better off going in a nondescript car by yourself than in a clearly marked St. Vladimir’s car and those three.  But if you’d like to invite him along to lunch, I’m sure I can come up with a few more things to talk with him about.”

“You’re a bad influence, old man, you know that?”  

“I’ve heard that often,” he smiled.

Especially if I was planning to end things with Adrian, I didn’t want my father setting him on edge.  Spirit darkness could be bad enough when you weren’t tapping into the magic like he was - no need to push it.  “I guess I’d rather not invite Adrian this time. Could we invite Christian Ozera instead?” I asked

“Ah, your field experience charge.  Don’t you see enough of him during the week?”

“He’s more than just my charge.  Christian is my friend. Besides, Christian and Lissa are sort of a package deal.”

Abe thought for a moment and then said, “If that’s what you would like, then that’s what you shall have.  Do you know where we might find either of them right now?”

“Follow me, old man,” I said.  A few minutes later, I’d led him to where Christian and Lissa were sitting, snuggled together in the second floor lounge of Christian’s dorm.

“Astounding,” Abe said, “How did you know this was where they would be?”

“I take it that, even with all of your informants, no one has told you about the bond.”

* * *

At the end of lunch, I excused myself to use the restroom and was surprised to notice that Lissa had silenced the bond while I was out of the room.  I wasn’t sure why, but it was definitely not the first time over the past few days that she had done it. I was really hoping to know what my father would say to my friends while I was out of the room.  I hoped he wouldn’t threaten them like he did with Adrian, especially given our time in Portland and Chicago. Knowing the sordid details of Zmey’s business arrangements - and I truly wanted to call him Zmey, after all that I knew - I was even more worried about them.  Threats from Zmey weren’t idle threats.

Lissa still hadn’t been silencing the bond through a lot of the intimate moments she’d had with Christian, but I wondered if maybe that was it.  Part of me shuddered as I wondered if she was silencing it now because she and Christian were getting touchy-feely under the table. I had to be grateful if she was shutting me out of that stuff now, but it just didn’t explain the other times she did it.  If they were, I just hoped Zmey didn’t see that stuff.

When I walked back in the room, Abe had a worried look on his face.  Well, huh, that could be either threats or touchy-feely stuff under the table...

“Perhaps I should have that conversation with Mr. Ivashkov sooner rather than later,” said Abe, “Rose, do you mind if I leave you with your friends for half an hour or so after lunch?”

I frowned. I couldn’t very well break up with Adrian while he was spiraling from Abe’s thinly-veiled and very non-idle threats.  “I’m not sure that’s such a great idea,” I told him, “Don’t you think one talk is enough for today?”

“Perhaps,” he replied, “Perhaps I can get my message to him later.”  I secretly hoped he’d forget this so that I could break up with Adrian in peace, but for now, it would have to do.

“Mr. Mazur, as I understand it, Guardian Belikov may have wanted to talk to me about something.  Maybe I should get going to find him. May I please be excused?” asked Lissa, as she began to get up to leave the room.  “Rose, I wanna talk to you later, after your father leaves,” she said, giving me a brief squeeze of my hand as she walked past.  

Christian seemed content to sit there with Abe and me.  To be honest, I would’ve enjoyed the buffer, even in the form of his snarky comments, but Lissa gave him a meaningful look and said, “Christian, aren’t you coming with me?”  The look she gave him was curious, but she was still blocking me, so I had no idea what it meant.

“Oh.  Yeah!” Christian said, as he, too, got up to leave, “See you tomorrow morning for your field experience, Rose.  Bet you already feel like it’s been too long since you’ve slept in my dorm room. I hear I’m a-dor-able when I’m sleeping.” He smirked.

“More like a-snore-able,” I joked, giving him a smile, “See you in the morning, Sparky.”

* * *

Overall, it was a much nicer day than I thought it would be, especially given the way it started out.  Once Abe finally prepared to leave, it was almost eight o’clock. That was earlier than I had expected, but his guardian had wanted to beat the rush hour traffic.  We didn’t hug or anything like that, but I did stay and say goodbye and wave to his car as they drove off. His business seemed a little skeevy, but he seemed to genuinely care about me and he was an interesting person to get to know.  Knowing he wasn’t the type of man you’d want to cross, I was glad he was on my side, too.

He never did have the conversation with Adrian, but he left me with two sealed envelopes - one to be delivered to Adrian and one to Dimitri, a name on each one.  I thought it was strange that there would be one for each of the two men in my life, but I hoped it was just a coincidence. Zmey was surprisingly astute, but I don’t know how he could’ve picked up on the fact that Dimitri and I were involved.

As I turned to step away from the car, I saw Dimitri and Lissa standing there, together.  The bond was silent again - she was blocking me out. “Liss,” I said, “What’s up?”

“Rose, we’d better go sit down somewhere,” she said.

The two of them led me to one of the small study meeting rooms in the library and closed the door.

Lissa began, “Rose, there’s something you should know, and I don’t know exactly how to tell you this…”

Dimitri cut her off.  “Do you remember the talk we had in your room about the necklace?”  Lissa gave us both a surprised look, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. Oh, shit. Lissa didn’t know Dimitri’d been in my room.  

I turned my face down.  “Yes, Liss, he came to my room last weekend on my birthday.”  To Dimitri, I said, “She didn’t know.”

“Well, I’m glad she does now.  You should tell her more. Do you remember?” he asked again, clearly not as derailed as Lissa or I was.

I thought for a moment.  “Do you mean where you asked me how I felt and then I picked up the necklace and you asked again?”  He nodded. “Yes.”

“And do you remember how I asked you if it could be compulsion?”

“Yes.  I told you, I thought that at first, but Adrian would never do that to me,” I said.

“Look Vasilisa in the eye and tell her what you just told me,” he said.

“Adrian would never compel me against my will,” I repeated, facing Lissa.

Lissa looked at Dimitri and nodded. “She _has_ been,” she said, “but I can undo it.”  Then, to me: “Rose, look at me.” I did. “Think long and hard about it.  Did you think the necklace was a compulsion charm before Adrian said it wasn’t?”

“Yes.  Without a doubt,” I said, still looking at her.

“Adrian was lying to you,” she said.

“But he wouldn’t do that,” I replied.

She repeated it again and I started to feel almost dizzy, looking into her beautiful jade green eyes.  “Adrian lied to you that there was no compulsion in the necklace.”

My head spun.  I felt a trickle from my nose.  I wiped a hand across and blood came away.  “Shit, Liss, what is happening?” I asked.

The whole room started to dim, but she looked at me again and said, “Keep your eyes open, Rose, and keep looking at me until I tell you not to.”  I did.

Without even realizing he’d crossed the room to be beside me, I felt Dimitri’s reassuring hand on my shoulder.  “It’s okay, Roza,” he said, brushing my hair back affectionately.

“The cross necklace had compulsion in it,” Lissa repeated again.

Slowly, her words started to sink in.  Of course, it did! And I wore it for so long!  “Oh, my God,” I said, as I started to realize all that had happened, then couldn’t help but repeat myself, “Oh, my God!” when I realized that I had told Dimitri I made a mistake when we had made love.  The world felt like it was crashing around me.

I wanted to turn to look at Dimitri.  “I can’t stop looking at Lissa,” I said, realizing my predicament, “Liss, you compelled me, too!”

“I’m sorry, Rose,” she said, “I had to break through Adrian’s compulsion from before.  You can look away now.”

As soon as she said it, I could look at Dimitri.  “I’m so sorry!” I told him, “The things I did when that necklace was on.  I was such a bitch to you! I told you it was all a mistake!”

“Roza, it’s okay,” he said, “I know that wasn’t you.  I know how you felt when it was off. When you put the necklace on me that day you broke my ribs, I could tell what the necklace was telling you.”  

“This morning with the knife - you broke the necklace on purpose!”

“Yes.  I had to get it away from you so that you couldn’t put it back on.  I gave it to Vasilisa so that she could confirm it was charmed and remove the compulsion.”

I stared at both of them in astonishment.  “You went to _her_ … and that’s why _you’ve_ been blocking the bond out from me!  But, why did you block me when you were with my father this afternoon?”

Lissa shrugged. “Dimitri asked me to tell your father.  I don’t know why.”

I sat in silence thinking about it before saying, “Because he can make people disappear …  oh.” I frowned a little, as the events of the past day flashed before me. “He told me your debt was paid.  Is this why?”

“Not exactly, but in part.  I didn’t expect it. When I came to him with this request, he asked why it mattered so much to me.  I told him how I feel about you.”

“So you can keep your feelings a secret from everyone - including me - for _six months_ , and then one little question from Abe and suddenly you feel all chatty about it?”

“Roza, it wasn’t like that.  Getting the queen’s favorite nephew to disappear ... I offered him all the money I had and to be his guardian for the rest of my career before I asked him to make Adrian go away.  He needed a believable reason why I would give so much.”

“Away … Abe’s not going to,” I made a slicing motion across my throat, “is he?”

“I doubt it,” said Dimitri, “but I didn’t care to ask.  Honestly, with what Adrian did to you, he might deserve it.”

“What did he say when you told him how you feel about me?”

“He asked me to protect you.”

I knew when I woke up that morning that I would have a lot to think through after the day was over, but I had so much more than I realized.  No wonder my father wanted to spend more time with Dimitri. Then I remembered the note I’d been given just before he left. “This is for you,” I said, handing Dimitri his envelope from my father, “There’s one for Adrian, too.”  Dimitri opened the envelope and read the note inside. I could tell something caught him by surprise in the note but he turned it towards me for me to read. It said:

> Everything will be taken care of soon.  He will be leaving on a flight to Michigan by Thursday.  I’ve been told that Randall (who happens to be his uncle) lives there now.  
>  \- Abe Mazur

“Who’s Randall?” I asked, looking at Dimitri.

“The last man I asked Zmey a favor about.”

“Your _father_?” I asked.  

He nodded.  “And he’s Adrian’s _uncle_?” I asked, incredulous.

“Apparently,” he said, a puzzled frown crossing his face.

Lissa, who I had somehow nearly forgotten was still in the room, said, “So, really, he should’ve been calling _you_ ‘cousin’ all along.”  She stifled a small laugh.  “I’m sorry,” she said, “That really wasn’t that funny.”

“No, it wasn’t,” I said.  From the look on his face, Dimitri would agree that it was _not_ funny.

“I still can’t believe all the things I did under the influence of that necklace,” I said,  “I almost slept with him last weekend!” As if he had forgotten what I told him a week ago, Dimitri gave a menacing growl at that.

“The necklace can’t compel you anymore,” said Lissa, handing it to me, now on a golden chain, “Here, try this.”

“Oh, no!  I’m not putting _that_ thing on again!”

“I made it into an anti-compulsion charm - so that you can’t be compelled by anyone while it’s on,” she said, pushing it further towards me, “It was Dimitri’s idea.”

I took it and held it in my hand.  “I don’t feel anything,” I said, “How do you know it works?”

“Eddie agreed to be my guinea pig,” she said with a smile, “I had him hold it while Christian tried to compel him.”

“But, Christian sucks at compulsion!”

She shrugged.  “I didn’t feel like there were any other people we could trust.”

“It works in theory, though,” said Dimitri, “Hopefully you never need this again, but isn’t it better to know there might be something protecting you?”

“Yes.” I put the necklace on.

“Okay,” said Lissa, “Well, now that that’s settled, I think I’m going to head over to find Christian for a few hours before curfew.  I’m glad you’re gonna be okay now, Rose.” she walked to the other side of the table and hugged me. “If you’d like, I can take the other letter to Adrian.”

Dimitri said, “If you have time, we could meet at the track for running at nine o’clock.”

“Okay, I’ll get changed and meet you at the track,” I said to Dimitri, then, handing the letter to Lissa, I said, “Here’s the letter.  I’ll see you later, Liss.”

Lissa took the letter, nodded, and turned to leave.  I was still sitting at the table, half-stunned as I tried to recount everything in my brain, while Lissa exited the room.  Dimitri started to walk out, then closed the door again and turned towards me. He paused for a moment, then said, “I do find it curious that you still wanted to try to get me to have sex with you even with the necklace on.  Especially since you thought of yourself as Adrian’s girlfriend. Why?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe my feelings for you were just so strong that the compulsion couldn’t get rid of them completely.  Or maybe the compulsion taking away my emotional feelings didn’t take away how much I wanted you - physically, I mean.  I never did feel that way about Adrian, you know - to love him _or_ to ‘want’ him physically, even with the compulsion.”

“Well, it’s nice to know I’m wanted,” he said, giving that rare half-smile of his, “Did you want me _tonight_?  I could arrange for another shift-swap hour with Yuri, while you’re still in your own room.”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” he said, “If I can make it, I’ll be there around noon.”

“Feel free to use your master key instead of knocking this time,” I said.

“I will,” he said, “And, Roza?”

“Yes?”

“Wear what you wore when I came during the lockdown.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much in the way of notes specifically for _this_ chapter, but a lot to say, in general, here. In canon Vampire Academy, I couldn’t really find a good example of someone being un-compelled (having compulsion removed) successfully, so I kind of had to wing it there. The whole mental battle of fighting the compulsion with more compulsion while the original compulsion was happening that left Avery Lazar’s bondmates comatose was a little extreme for our beloved Rose, so I opted for another direction there.  
> Just a heads-up for anyone who has been reading while this is still a work-in-progress: the content rating on this work will be changing from “Mature” to “Sexually Explicit” with the addition of Chapter 21. If you have any qualms about that sort of thing, here’s your chance to unsubscribe. If not, I hope you enjoy a little (okay - a lot!) Romitri goodness! I'm also looking into potentially re-writing the first two chapters and eventually posting a slightly less explicit version on fanfiction.net that would comply with their standards there.  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> Have you ever been in a situation where you didn’t realize just how very far off-track or over your head you were? Or possibly even someone had to stage an intervention of some sort?  
> Personally, I have a knack for getting into situations without thinking through all of the consequences. My whole life is littered with these things. I think the earliest (and possibly dumbest) was when I was 15 years old on a trip with other students (3 days’ drive by bus away from my parents and home). I met an 18-year-old local guy in the pool of our hotel, ended up making out with him, and followed him back to his room. Thankfully, I lived to tell the tale without being raped or kidnapped, but when my best friend told the adult chaperones, I was in pretty deep trouble for the rest of the trip. More recently, I can recall a time when I was nervous about being fired and got angry at a coworker who was critiquing the quality of my work. I then started a 3-day, 5-page chain of scathing email confrontations with him arguing about it that he inevitably forwarded to our boss.


	21. Swapping Shifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** Mature content in this chapter. Explicit content not suitable for younger readers. To avoid it, skip past the first line break.

I was dreaming of the lust charm again.  

Dimitri had just slid my panties off.  I laid there naked beneath him. He admired me.  He leaned in to kiss me. Dimitri captured my breast in one hand.  His other hand moved up my inner thigh. He grazed my folds. He slid a finger against my opening, then slightly inside.  

Suddenly, I was awake.  I was naked in my bed, except for the blankets.  And I wasn’t alone. Dimitri was there in my tiny twin bed beside me, under the blankets with his arm around my waist.  I could feel his skin everywhere that he touched me - a lot of skin. He must’ve been as naked as I was. I turned towards him.

“Hi,” I whispered, smiling at him, “I love you.”

“Hi.  I love you, too.  I’ve missed you these past few weeks.”

“We’ve seen each other every day, Dimitri.”  I kissed him again, wrapping my arm around his bare torso.

“We have.  But you didn’t believe that we loved each other until this morning.”

“I didn’t.”  I smiled at that.  “But I do now. And I missed you, too.”

“I was hesitant to wake you up when I got here.  From the sounds you were making, it seemed like you were having a nice dream,” he said.

“I was,” I said, catching his lips in another kiss and then nuzzling his neck, “So you just decided to take the time to take all of your clothes off and curl up beside me before waking me up?”.

“Did you want me to go?” he asked, glancing towards the door with a smirk, “And let you get back to your dream?”

“I was dreaming of you.  But reality is _so_ much better than that dream right now.”  I pulled his body against mine and kissed him as hard as I could, practically devouring his lips.  As the kiss deepened, I slid my leg around his and rolled him onto his back, positioning myself on top of him, legs on either side.  I could feel the heat and smoothness of his bare erection up against my core. I knew he could feel just how aroused I was, too.

Dimitri groaned at the contact.  “Mmm, Roza. That really must’ve been a _very_ good dream,” he said, catching my breasts in both hands and pinching a nipple.

“If you’re in it, it always is,” I replied, “Now that the necklace is off, I take it from your clothing choice that you’re not still choosing to only kiss me?”

“I think I choose just the opposite, actually, Roza.  I’ve been waiting for so long to show you just how much I love you.”

“You’ve been showing me that all along, Dimitri,” I said, “Thank you.”

“I will never take this for granted.  Knowing I can be this close to you and touch you.  Having the chance to say that I love you and hear you say it back.  This life we live, we may not have tomorrow, but I will love you until the day you die - no, I will love you until the day _I_ die.  I will give everything that I have to give to keep you safe and cared for.  I promise that I’ll always be here for you. I will never let anything happen to you,” he declared.

I was stunned.  Just those words were practically treason for a guardian to say to another dhampir.  

And yet ... I felt the same way.  “And I won’t let anything happen to you, either.  I love you so much.”

He cut off my words with a deep kiss, tangling one of his hands in my hair and the other pressing the middle of my back to bring us closer together.  His kiss felt so full of love and emotion. I loved that. I loved _him_.  I wanted to show him how much I loved him, as much as he wanted to show me.

I sat up straight, slid a hand down in between us, and positioned him so that the tip of him was at my entry, slowly sliding down onto him at a snail’s pace, taking almost a full minute to have him fully engulfed inside me.  I heard him whispering ‘Roza’ again and again as I made my slow journey around him. When he was fully inside me, it felt extremely deep and snug, but there was no pain as there had been the last time we were together. I was startled when I realized that, from this angle, the tip of him was exactly in that same spot that had felt so good before, without having to adjust in any way.

I leaned forward to kiss Dimitri again as I began to slowly move while on top of him.  The kiss lingered. It felt both soft and powerful, his lips caressing my lips and his tongue stroking my tongue.  I bit gently at his lower lip, sucking softly and feeling his hands gripping tightly, urging my hips to move faster.    

After I moved to start kissing his neck, Dimitri said, “Wait, Roza, I love it when you kiss me, but I want you to sit up again.”  

I sat up, as he asked.  The lights were all off in my room, but it was noon outdoors and the blinds were cracked open enough that we could both see each other very well.  As soon as I sat up, he raked his eyes over me from shoulder to thighs and hissed in a breath as his gaze returned to where we were joined together.

“That’s better,” he said, reaching forward and stroking his thumbs across both of my nipples as he cupped my breasts, “Feeling you is incredible, but I want to see you, too.”

I could almost feel Dimitri’s eyes all over my body as I watched his darkened lustful stare. The change in position again lined me up so that he was hitting that perfect spot repeatedly.  The rotation meant that my hips had moved from slowly pushing my weight up and down to sliding forward and back, meaning I found myself moving faster, rolling my hips slightly as he hit my deepest point.  After a few dozen rolls, I couldn’t even look at him as I felt the intensity begin to overwhelm me. I could only close my eyes and lean my head back. I was doing my best to be quiet, but I was practically gasping.  

“Oh, Roza ... Do you know how long I could only imagine seeing you like this?” he asked, “How long I dreamt of your beautiful body?  Or the softness of your skin? How badly I _wanted_ you?”

My eyes returned to his I shook my head gently. “No,” I whispered, with a smile, “but I know how long you loved me.”

“Yes, it’s true that I have loved you for a very, very, _very_ long time,” as he spoke, each ‘very’ was punctuated by a thrust from underneath me, the last being the deepest, his hands clutching my hips to pull my core tighter against him than I thought possible, “But I wanted you even longer.  You can’t imagine how long I wanted to be able to do … this.” he asked as he sat up slightly under me and began gently sucking at one of my nipples, causing my losing fight with silence to end completely as a whimper escaped my lips.

Dimitri laid flat again, arching his back to thrust up from underneath me as he continued to spur my hips and stare at my naked body astride his.  With every word Dimitri said, he thrust harder. He continued, saying, “Even when we first met, I knew you were beautiful. I tried not to notice these hips,” he squeezed my hips and pulled me onto him harder while he thrust so that he could illustrate, “and these beautiful breasts.”  He moved a hand up and squeezed one of my breasts. “And back then, Roza, I had _no_ idea,” he said, as he move the hand from my breast to the apex of my thighs, letting his thumb find its way to rub circles along the front of my folds, “just how amazing _all_ of the rest of you was.”  

Feeling both his tip inside me on the perfect spot and his thumb rubbing me there, I couldn’t help myself.  I moaned loudly, almost a yell. Dimitri’s body went perfectly still and his eyes went wide, half in surprise and half in fear.  “Shh, Roza,” he whispered, “It would be bad for both of us if we were to get caught now.”

I nodded.  “I know,” I whispered back, “it’s just so hard to control.”

As his hands and hips began to move again, Dimitri said, “Once there is finally no risk of getting caught, I can’t wait to make you scream.  Over and over again. You have no idea how much I would love that. But please, try. For now.”

My mind was telling me to be quiet, but my body was telling me now was the time to scream.  The intensity of every motion was overwhelming. His wonderful chocolate eyes kept shifting between my own eyes and my body, the look of love mixed with pure desire that he was giving me only adding to the heat of every moment.  My movements were beginning to get erratic and uncontrolled, but Dimitri seemed to know exactly what he was doing. At the end of every shift backwards that I made, I could feel his hands pushing my hips to suddenly burst forward with an additional pop of speed.  

I was so close to coming undone, but I was so afraid that I actually _would_ scream.  “Dimitri,” I breathed, “I don’t know if I can keep quiet.”

“Oh, Roza,” he moaned gently.  I didn’t intend it that way, but I could see that my words had thrilled him. In an instant, he had flipped us over so that he was on top before I even realized what was happening.  “Bury your face in the pillow, _prekrasnyy_ ,” he said, “I’m going to make you scream _now_.  I want to make you come so hard, my beautiful Roza.”

Dimitri shifted my legs up so that the angle of my hips positioned me flatter and tighter against him, then began pounding into me so hard that the mattress slid slightly on each push.  I whimpered as his thumb returned to me and he simultaneously found that right spot again on the inside. He was right that this would make me scream. I turned my face so that I could bury it into the pillow, clutching it to my face with a fist.  When the intensity caused the first scream to come, I bit down into the pillow. It muffled the sound, but we could still hear it clearly from inside the room. “Yes, Roza, scream for me!” he said, “I love you so much.”

I began to climax just as he said that, muffling my scream in the pillow.  It was easily the most intense orgasm I’d ever felt. Within seconds, I felt Dimitri reaching his release.  I didn’t see him when it happened because I was still riding the waves of my own pleasure with my face buried in the pillow.  Contrary to what I used to think, sex - at least _this_ sex - was much better than any bite I’d ever received.  I was panting hard and struggling for air as I turned to face him and tried to catch my breath. His weight wasn’t on me, but my heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour and it was taking effort to try to breathe normally again.  “Oh … my … God … Dimitri … that was ... so incredible. I ... love you so ... much.”

* * *

Dimitri slid to lay beside me on the bed, wrapping both arms around me and pulling me close.  He kissed my forehead, then planted a small kiss on my lips. “I wish that I could stay with you all night,” he said, cupping my cheek and then running a hand through my hair, “and just lay here in each other’s arms.  That I could wake up with you in the morning. I’ve never loved anyone the way that I love you.”

“Me either,” I admitted, kissing him again.  “I never even said the word before you. I mean, I told Liss, but never a guy before.  And I wish you could stay, too. Last week when I fell asleep in your arms, that was maybe the best night’s sleep I’ve ever had.  It’s just _better_ when you’re here.”

He kissed me again, soft and gentle.  “Do you think you could do that again tonight?” I asked.

“I could do that,” he said.  He chuckled low in his throat and added, “I should probably put some clothes back on first, though.”

I nodded, saying, “Okay, if you have to.”

Dimitri slid off of the bed  and walked over to the desk, where his clothes were neatly folded.  Watching his exquisite body walk across my dorm room was surreal. If I’d ever thought he was a god before, it went double now, seeing the work of art moving across the floor of the room I’d slept in every night.  He’d called me beautiful, but that word just wasn’t strong enough to use for him. I was sad to see the first layer of clothing go on, but it was nice to get this view of him just walking around like this.

“Dimitri,” I said, hoping I didn’t sound like a foolish, love-sick little kid, “could I please just look at you some more before your clothes all go back on?”

He nodded and turned towards me so that I could see him, then came and sat back on the edge of the bed.  I sat up to admire him, pulling the blankets up around my chest. He was absolutely breathtaking. “As you wish, Roza. I have a suspicion that I know exactly what you are feeling.”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” I said.

“Roza, when I asked you to sit up earlier, it was because I simply needed to see you - to enjoy your amazing beauty.  I still want to see you - and I’d love for you to pull those blankets back down now, too. I wanted you long before I loved you, Roza.  It took me a while before I could even admit it to myself. I used to dream about you, long before the lust charm. The night in the lounge, when I found you there with Jesse Zeklos, seeing you there with your shirt off, you were so mesmerizing.  You were so beautiful. You _are_ so beautiful.”

I pulled the blankets back down as we both looked at each other.  “That night with the lust charm,” I said, “I know better now, but for a long time, I never thought things could get better than that.  I still dream of that night.”

“I do, too,” he said, “I dream of so many of the things that have happened with you.  I dream of the first night we made love. I’ll probably dream of tonight, too.”

“The night you were here during the lockdown, when you asked me to … take care of things, you know that I did, right?”

“Oh, yes, Roza,” Dimitri said, “Just the thought of that got me through several lonely nights the past few weeks, imagining you imagining me that way.”

“Did you ever … while thinking of me, I mean?”

He looked at me as though I had just asked him if the sky was blue.  “Of course I did. I tried not to, at first. It was a losing battle.  Once I gave in - especially after the lust charm … well ... it was hard to think of anything else.”

“That long ago?” I asked, wishing I could raise an eyebrow like he did.

“Yes, Roza, that long ago.”

“I didn’t, you know?  Before you, I mean. Not ever.  I sort of understood the mechanics, more-or-less, but I had never …” I wasn't usually the timid or embarrassed type, but I couldn't bring myself to say the words.  As my words drifted off, he arched an eyebrow in surprise, “What about now? Do you still, now that we’ve been together?  And will we be able to be together like this again - maybe next weekend?”

“Everything changed the night we were together.  That _chertovo_ necklace changed things again.  I’m not sure what will happen now, but this only worked tonight because of swapping shifts with Yuri.  Yuri and I aren’t always together on the schedule like this, and even if we are, this probably can’t happen every Sunday we’re both on.  We’ll figure it out, though.”

 _Chertovo_.  Another Russian word I didn’t know.  “Dimitri, when you told me to put my face in the pillow, you called me something.  Tree-grass-knee, or something like that. What did that mean?”

Dimitri laughed and placed a hand on my cheek, “Tree grass knee?  I called you _prekrasnyy_.  It means beautiful.”  He kissed me tenderly again and then said, “I really do think I should get dressed now.  I’m tempted to get back in the blankets with you again, and I don’t think we have time for that.”

It took surprisingly little time for him to put his clothes back on.  Next to his clothes were his walkie-talkie and his cell phone. After he finished buttoning the last button on his shirt, he opened it.  " _Der'mo_ ," he exclaimed, looking at the screen.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Text messages about a problem with the shift swap.  I may have to deal with some consequences. I have to go.  I’m so sorry, Roza.”

“I know you are.  I love you.”

“I love you, too, Roza,” he said, closing the distance and placing a kiss on my lips, “I’ll see you in the morning on the track.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, last explicit chapter for at least a _little_ while, but it definitely got a little more detailed than I had previously written in this work. Whether you read and enjoy that sort of thing or skipped over it, though, hopefully you’re glad (like I am) to see Rose and Dimitri back together and loving each other again.  
> I’ve been trying to limit myself to releasing a chapter a week, usually on Saturdays. If you feel like you need more explicit content and I’m falling short at bringing the goods, let me know in the comments and maybe I can come up with a few more, but just keep in mind that they’ll probably slow down the overall story, if I put them in.  
> Here’s my question of the week: What’s the most surprising way you’ve ever woken from sleeping?  
> For me, there’s a story to go with it: my husband and I moved to the opposite side of Michigan a few months after college. The apartment we were supposed to move into was supposed to have been ready when we arrived with our truckloads of furniture and boxes, but there was a problem with the flooring, so the complex put us up in a budget hotel for the night at the last minute. The hotel only had one room left available when we checked in - an ADA-compliant handicapped room complete with handrails on all of the walls. We requested a 5:00 AM wake-up call so that we could get all of the furniture loaded into the apartment in time to return our rental truck. When the wake-up call from the room phone went off, it was the loudest, shrillest sound I had ever heard and there were blindingly bright lights flashing everywhere. I thought the fire alarm was going off and panicked. I screamed at the top of my lungs! The people in the next room over came out in the hallway and started banging on our room door to make sure I was okay.


	22. Begin Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more of Mead’s original text in this chapter, toward the end. It comes from Chapter Three of Blood Promise. I’ll use underlining again where I have borrowed text, and I’ll try to limit it to direct quotes from characters.

The next morning at the track, Dimitri looked at me gravely when I approached.  “What’s wrong, Comrade?” I asked him when I arrived.

“Start running.  We’ll talk on the track.”

“O … kay ...” I said just before I turned to jog along. 

Dimitri caught up to me very quickly.  “Last night,” he said, “Guardian Petrov did a check to see who was on shift.  When she found Yuri there instead of me, there were some questions.”

“Oh,” I said.

“Yes. ‘Oh.’”  He was quiet for another half of a lap around the track.  “She didn’t find anything specific last night and I think I covered well enough, but she’s going to be watching me much more closely now.  Especially on Sundays when you’re alone.”

“Why then?” I asked.

“Remember in my apartment when I said that we’d attracted some attention?”

“Oh,” I said again, “Alberta knows.  Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t tell you before because I didn’t want you to worry.  You have enough problems, Roza. Guardian Petrov has known that I have feelings for you since December.  She didn’t seem to have a problem with it as long as I was respectful and we didn’t let it interfere with our responsibilities.”

“So, no more shift swaps?”

“No more shift swaps,” he frowned.

“What about kissing in the storage room?” I asked, brightening a little.

“I think that we can still do that, but we’ll have to be cautious and keep it relatively quick,” he replied, “On the bright side, I think that we can be together as soon as we get to Court when graduation is over.  My biggest concerns with waiting the summer out were that your skill would be questioned, but at the rate you’ve been progressing the past few weeks, I suspect that your final trial score will be a new record.  People could question my marks, but not the rest of the judges.”

“A record?  For St. Vladimir’s?”

“I actually meant overall,” he said.

“Isn’t that _your_ record?” I asked him.  Over the past couple of weeks since the field experience had begun again and I’d gone for the extra training, I had heard a rumor that Dimitri held the record for the highest score of any novice at final trials.

“I didn’t know you’d heard that.  Final trial scores are supposed to be sealed,” he said, putting on more guardian mask than I had seen in a private conversation with him in a long time.

“Not denying it, huh, Comrade?  It _is_ your record, isn’t it?” I smirked at him and then said, “A couple of the others were talking about it.”

“Even with that final trial score, I graduated with a Full Black Moon.  That’s rare, but I know I haven’t been the only one.  It wasn’t until a few months after arriving at Court that I made it to Blast Master.  You might be the first guardian to graduate from the academies with a Blast Master rating.”

“I thought that they couldn’t give a Blast Master rating to a novice - that you had to graduate first?”

“Just because they never _have_ doesn’t mean that they _can’t_ ,” he smiled.

“So, if my ranking’s high enough, we could be together right away after graduation?” I asked.

“As long as your ranking is at least a New Black Moon, as soon as we get to Court.”

Something about that was nagging at the back of my brain, but I couldn’t put it together.  So much had happened in the past few days and I was just grateful for the chance to eventually be able to be with him.

* * *

As I stepped towards Lissa’s table with my tray of breakfast food, I saw the one thing that could’ve thrown my mind even more off track:  Adrian.

I was wearing the cross, which was now supposedly laced with anti-compulsion.  But it was basically untested.  This could be the ultimate test.  I could see that he was deep in thought and staring at papers in front of him. 

Lissa, Christian, and Jill Mastrano were sitting together at a different table than Adrian this morning.  It was starting to become clear to all of us that Jill really looked up to Lissa.  Since the Moroi students had started their defense training together, Jill had begun to become a frequent part of their lives and Lissa had started to think of her as almost a little sister.  I peered into Lissa’s mind and saw that she had delivered Abe’s letter to Adrian this morning before leaving to sit at the other table, so he probably wasn’t finished reading it over yet. 

When Lissa saw me, she told me, through the bond, _Go talk to Adrian now, before field experience starts again.  I’ll be here if you need me.  If the necklace doesn’t work, Christian will bring you to me and I can break more compulsion, but hopefully, we won’t need to worry about that._

I nodded at Lissa and then went to Adrian, Here goes nothing.

“Hi,” I said, as I sat down, “We need to talk.”

Adrian said, “Sure, Rose,” smiling up at me.  I sat down across from him as he tried to take my hand.  I tried to act ignorant and quickly picked up my chocolate milk with the hand he went to grab.  The cross was hidden under the button-up dress shirt I had on, so he had no way of knowing if it was on, but he’d know shortly that its previous compulsion wasn’t working on me anymore. 

Adrian furrowed his brow as he looked back down at the papers in front of him.  He folded them up before I could see what they said and stuffed them all into the envelope that they had been delivered in.  Before I even had a chance to speak, Adrian began, “Your father … he and I had a long talk yesterday.  After that talk, I thought we’d come to an understanding, but afterwards, he asked - no, that’s not quite the right word - he was pretty insistent that I leave St. Vladimir’s and stay away from you.  His language may have been a bit more ‘colorful’ than that, though - something about using pliers to pull off my fingernails or using a power drill to bore holes in my septum.  He even gave me plane tickets.  I don’t have to go, though.  I can find a way.  Maybe I could compel him to let me stay.  I know you want me to stay.”

“This isn’t about my father,” I blurted out, “and I think you’d probably better go.”

“What?  What are you talking about, little dhampir?”

I didn’t want to bring the compulsion into the conversation if I didn’t have to.  I just wanted to end things cleanly and get away from him.  “Adrian, I think you and I were a mistake.  It was a bad idea for us to be together.”

“You can’t mean that,” he replied, shock making his already-pale face even more so.

“Adrian, I don’t love you.  It’s just better if I’m on my own for a little while.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me,” he said. 

I could see right through what he was trying to do.  He wanted to compel me and needed the eye contact to do it.  I sure hoped the anti-compulsion charm would work.  “Adrian, I d- “

He cut me off, and I felt his dark green eyes piercing mine, “You know that you’re in love with me,” he said.

I could feel that he was trying to compel me - and yet, it wasn’t working!

“No, Adrian.  I’m not.  And I never have been.  I don’t love you.”

“But just give it a little more time.  You’ll grow to love me, Rose,” he said, eyes still fixed on mine, “You know that I love you.”

“No, I won’t.  And you should be ashamed of yourself, Adrian.  You can’t compel me anymore.”

“What?  I would never do that!  You know I would never do that to you, Rose!”

“Do I?” I asked, “I know.  Dimitri told me what you did.  It’s over, Adrian.  Take the plane tickets and leave.” 

“Dimitri?  _That_ guy again?” he asked.

“Yes, Dimitri.  The guy who actually loves me enough to have walked away when he thought I loved someone else, instead of trying to force me to love him back.”  I got up to walk away, hoping he wouldn’t follow, but knowing that he would.

I sat down at Lissa’s table, across from Christian and beside Jill.  Adrian had followed me over.  _Are you okay?  Did you break up with him?_ Lissa asked through the bond.

I gave a small nod.  Lissa looked up behind me.  I could feel her mood darken.  I didn’t have to see it to know that Adrian was standing there.  I could feel Lissa drawing some spirit up through the bond.  “Adrian,” she said, “go away.”  I didn’t even know it was possible for a spirit user to compel another spirit user, but she had just done it.

“Liss,” I breathed, “you’re my hero!”

She smiled.  “Rose, how many times have you saved me?  It was about time for it.”

* * *

 

Lissa and Christian had a meeting in Headmistress Kirova’s office that morning.  None of us knew why yet, but Queen Tatiana had asked her to be there personally.  Over the past few weeks, Lissa had been asked to do a handful of things by the queen without any good explanation - showing royals around campus, volunteering with the elementary students.  Lissa probably wouldn’t have minded spending time with the kids because that was just the kind-hearted person that she was, but it bothered her that she felt like she was turning into the queen’s errand girl.  Eddie and I accompanied Lissa and Christian to the office, but we were asked to stand outside while the two of them went into their meeting.  As I stood outside the office doing my best impersonation of a statue, I went into the bond so that I could see what was going on in there.

In addition to Kirova, there was a Moroi man who looked to be in his late forties or early fifties and a girl who was maybe around our age sitting in the office.

"Ah, Miss Dragomir. There you are," said Kirova.  Everyone stood up and Kirova gestured to her guests.  "This is Eugene Lazar and his daughter Avery." Kirova turned back toward Lissa. "This is Vasilisa Dragomir and Christian Ozera."

Mr. Lazar smiled.  We knew that Lazar was one of the twelve royal families, so it became a little more clear why Lissa had been asked to come.  He seemed sort of surprised to meet Christian, but his smile held.  I think that, much like my initial response to Christian, a lot of people still feared him because his parents willingly turned Strigoi.

After shaking hands for a few moments, Kirova got right down to business.  She didn’t beat around the bush. "Mr. Lazar is going to be the new headmaster here."

Lissa was so surprised that her smile turned to a gaping mouth, “What?”

Kirova replied, completely devoid of any emotion, "I'm going to be stepping down.  Though I'll still be serving the school as a teacher."

Christian asked, "You're going to teach?"

"Yes, Mr. Ozera. It was what I originally went to school for. I'm sure if I try hard enough, I can remember how to do it," said Kirova.  She couldn’t quite match Christian’s snark, but she was flawlessly deadpan with her sarcasm.

Lissa asked, "But why? You do a great job."

I hated to admit Lissa was right about that, but Kirova knew her stuff, even if I occasionally hated visits to her office.

"It's something I've thought about returning to for some time.  Now seemed as good a time as any, and Mr. Lazar is a very capable administrator." 

Lissa thought she could tell that Kirova wasn’t completely telling the truth, but chose not to call her out on it.  "Well, it's very nice to meet you. I'm sure you'll do a great job. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

“Actually, there is,” Mr. Lazar said, motioning to his daughter, “I was wondering if you could show Avery around and help her find her way here. She graduated last year but will be assisting me in my duties. I'm sure she'd much rather be spending time with someone her own age, however."

Lissa finally took a moment to really look at Avery.  She was pretty - though I thought Lissa was much prettier - and unusually curvy for a Moroi.  No matter what I thought, Lissa was convinced that she was completely outclassed by Avery.

Avery then said something that totally set off Lissa’s defenses. "I promise not to be too much of a pain. And if you want, I'll give you some insider's tips on Court life. I hear you're going to be moving there."  Lissa decided that Tatiana had intended for Avery to spy on her and keep her in line.

Lissa had a dangerous stand-offish tone to her voice as she replied, "That'd be great.  I'm pretty busy lately, but we can try to make the time.  Plus, I still want to spend a lot of time with Rose, too."

A glint in Avery’s eyes told Lissa that she heard the ‘Back off’ message in her tone loud and clear.  Neither Kirova nor Mr. Lazar seemed to pick up on it, though, as far as they appeared, but that didn’t mean that Kirova didn’t have something to say.

“Miss Hathaway is still in her field experience with Mr. Ozera for six days out of the week, you know, Princess Dragomir?  Your time might be better spent with someone who’s more available - and not such an _influence_ ,” Kirova said.  Lissa and I both took back whatever I thought about her doing a great job and knowing her stuff.

Avery, however, looked almost dejected.  “I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” she murmured, half-heartedly.

Mr. Lazar still had no clue what Lissa had implied with her tone.  He grinned as he said, “Maybe you can show Avery to guest housing?  She’s staying in the east wing.”

Before anyone could say anything further, I was pulled back into my own mind to find Eddie tapping me on the arm.  Because of the field experience, he knew more about that bond than most people, but it was mostly limited to Lissa’s side.  “Are you okay, Rose?” he asked.

“Sure, sure, I’m fine,” I said, shrugging him off.

“These two guys were trying to get into Kirova’s office,” he said, pointing to a Moroi a little younger than us and a guardian who looked to be about twenty-something.

Oh.  Maybe I was more unaware than I thought.  “I’m sorry,” I told Eddie, making a lame excuse, “Trying a technique Dimitri gave me to start saying the alphabet backwards in your head when you’re supposed to stand still during guarding and have nothing to do.  I guess I got caught up in it.  Might not be the best technique for me.”

“Who are you and why the hell should we let you past?” I asked the two guys, putting on my best smartass face.

“My charge is in there,” said the guardian.  He sort of answered my question, but he seemed more stand-offish than Lissa had to Avery.  I wondered to myself what stick was stuck up his butt.  “Let us in or you can be reported.”

“Fine,” I conceded, moving out of the way.

Before the guardian could open the door, it opened on its own.  Lissa, Christian, and Avery were standing on the other side.

Mr. Lazar popped his head up as he saw them at the doorway.  “Ah, there you are!” he said, motioning to the Moroi boy, “This is my son Reed.  He’s a junior and will be attending classes here.  He’s very excited about it.” 

Reed looked pretty much the opposite of excited.  He might’ve been more surly than anyone I had ever met. Mr. Lazar - correction, _Headmaster_ Lazar - on the other hand, had a goofy grin plastered to his face. 

Reed grunted out a quick ‘Hey’ as he was introduced to Lissa and Christian.

"And this is Simon, Avery's guardian," continued Mr. Lazar. "Of course, while on campus, he doesn't need to be with her all the time. You know how it goes. Still, I'm sure you'll see him around."  
If this was the only company she had to deal with all day, I guess I could sort of understand why Avery would be sad Lissa didn’t want to hang out with her.  As Avery walked out of the door, she saw me and gave me a surprisingly scrutinizing glance.  “This must be Rose,” she said, looking to Lissa for confirmation. 

I was supposed to be in guardian mode during my field experience, seen and not heard, unless I was addressed directly.  This was as close to being addressed directly as I figured I was going to get from Avery, so I took the opportunity and ran with it. I held out my hand to shake it, giving her a smug smile, saying, “Rose Hathaway, best novice in this year’s graduating class.”

Christian, who had stayed pretty quiet through the whole ordeal, gave a surprisingly affirming, “Hell yeah, she is!  For the field experience, Rose is my guardian, but she’s going to be Lissa’s guardian, for sure, once final assignments are made.”

“Avery Lazar,” she said, “but you probably already know that.”  It was an odd statement, but not the strangest thing I had heard a royal say.  Maybe she had some sort of a reputation that I hadn’t heard of, so I shrugged it off.  Avery shook my hand, but made it clear that I wasn’t anything she was interested in right now.  Eddie remained silent, so Lissa, introduced him.  After the introductions were done, we began setting off to guest housing together.  There wasn’t much in the way of conversation on the way there, except for the occasional ‘turn left here’, ‘it’s the brick building on your far right’, or ‘use this entrance’.  Simon, Eddie, and I all followed behind, although Eddie and I maintained a healthy distance from Simon.  After they were shown to their room, Lissa made sure we got out of there pretty quick.  Normally, Lissa was the type to try to go out of her way to make friends and be nice, offering to help her get settled in or even meet up to eat together later on, but not with Avery.  Lissa didn’t want to be a pawn in the queen’s plans, so she wasn’t going to give Avery the chance.

* * *

 

That night, as we returned to settle in to Christian’s dorm room again, I noticed that there was a lumpy-looking package that was sloppily gift-wrapped in Christmas paper sitting in the spot that I had made my bed.  “What’s this?” I asked.

“Rose you’ve done such an awesome job protecting me these past few weeks that I just wanted to be able to give you a little ‘thank you’.  Open it.”

It wasn’t often that I got presents, so I tore into the paper.  “It’s a pillow,” I said.

“Liss helped me pick it out for you on your birthday.  We got special permission to go off-campus with a separate van full of guardians, but we couldn’t go all the way to Missoula, like you did.  You’d be surprised at the limited selection you can find for gifts at a small drugstore.  You’ve been so uncomfortable sleeping on my floor and have been so nice about it.  We thought this would help.  With everything that happened that day on your birthday, it didn’t seem right to be celebrating, so we held off for a week, but we wanted you to have it.”

“Sparky, this might be the nicest thing you’ve ever done for me,” I said, “Thanks.”  Before I could even think about it, I walked over and gave him a hug.  Maybe it was the spirit talking, but I was feeling sentimental.  “You’re sort of like the brother I never had.  Of all of the creeps out there, I’m really glad Lissa ended up with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I didn’t want to do it and didn’t initially think I would, but this story just wouldn’t fit without bringing in Avery Lazar. I apologize now. I hated reading her and I feel bad for writing her. But hopefully, she won’t be the absolute bane of this story.  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> What is the nicest low-cost gift that a (platonic) friend has ever given you?  
> A few years ago, I had a really craptacular job in a really toxic work team that I hated. A friend that I carpooled with gave me a little care package with a couple of candy bars, a bottle of my favorite cola, and a really sweet note just telling me to hang in there and that I was valued and important and that things would get better. It took a few months for things to really even start to get better, but my friend’s note really helped.


	23. Dream a Little Dream

The lust charm dream wasn’t the only one that flashed through my head at night now.  Dimitri wasn’t the only one who had been dreaming of our other times together.

I was in Dimitri’s bed and he had just unbuttoned the white guardian dress uniform shirt.  Suddenly, he disappeared, and I felt that familiar tingle of a spirit dream.

“Goddamnit, Rose, you were dreaming of that stuffy Russian asshole again,” said a familiar and unexpected voice.

I blew out an exasperated sigh as I glowered at him, re-buttoning my shirt. “Adrian, why are you here?  Leave me alone so I can get some sleep.”

“You are sleeping, little dhampir,” he replied.

“Of course, I am.  What do you want, Adrian?”

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry.  And I was hoping to ask you who the spirit user I saw you and Lissa walking with today was.”  Spirit user?

“I don’t want your apologies.  I just want you to leave me alone.  And if you want to talk about spirit, you’d be better off talking to Lissa than to me.”  
Adrian replied, “I tried that already.  She can’t dream-walk on her own, but Lissa has figured out how to block me out.  After a few seconds in the dream, she forced me out of her head.  I tried three times and she blocked me completely after the first one.  Now, it’s like she turned off her phone - like she isn’t accepting calls from spirit dreams.”  
“Good,” I said, “Now force yourself out of _my_ head and let me have some peace!”

“I don’t really want to just leave you, little dhampir.  Can’t I have a few minutes of your time?” he asked.  
“No, Adrian.”

“Could you at least ask Lissa to talk to me again?” he asked.

“No, Adrian,” I repeated.

“But I love you, Rose,” he said.

“If you loved me, you wouldn’t have compelled me, Adrian.  Goodbye.”  I turned my back to him. 

“Rose, I’m sorry.  What I did was wrong.  I will find a way to make it up to you,” he pleaded.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” I said, “But you can start by leaving me alone.”

“I will,” Adrian said, “because I’m sorry.  I screwed up.  I love you.”

With those words, the dream evaporated and I woke up.  I knew if I drifted back off, I would be left to normal sleep again, but there I was on the middle of Christian’s floor.  The pillow he had given me helped, but it was still really uncomfortable.  Christian was sleeping peacefully, evidenced by the quiet snoring coming from his bed. 

I glanced at the clock to see that it was just before three o’clock.  I felt hot, sweaty, and uncomfortable.  I stood up and headed to the bathroom, thinking maybe if I splashed water on my face, it would help.  The school staff members each had their own private bathrooms and kitchenettes, but students all had to share, so I headed out into the hallway, barefoot in my tank top and pajama pants I’d slept in to use the bathroom. 

“Shit,” I said, when I got there and looked in the mirror, realizing I hadn’t worn my cross to sleep.  Lissa had told me that it was possible for Adrian to compel someone from inside a spirit dream.  But I didn’t feel any different.  Was he being true to his word, trying to make amends?  After I splashed the water on my face, I went back into the hall and immediately bumped into a hard wall of muscle.  Dimitri.

“Comrade,” I breathed.

“Roza,” he whispered, staring down at me, eyes raking over my body in an almost tangible way, “I didn’t expect to find you here when I set out to patrol the dorm tonight.  You look so ... _tantalizing_ in that.” 

I looked down and the white tank top I was sleeping in had gotten splashed in the bathroom when I had washed my face, appearing partially transparent. “Is it safe to kiss you here?” I asked.

Dimitri looked both ways down the hallway and gave a resigned sigh.  “Yes, but let’s keep it short so we’re not spotted.”  He ran both hands into my hair and brought my face up to his, kissing me gently, then broke away quickly.

“I love you,” I said.

Dimitri replied, “You have no idea how much I love to hear that, but I need to be quick.”

“How long do we have?”

“Not long.  I ran into a situation on second floor, so I’m behind schedule.”

“What happened?” I asked. 

“I really shouldn’t tell you, Roza,” he said, I pleaded with my eyes for details, then he continued, “I actually did find a couple together tonight.”  My eyes went wide. “One of the senior novices who was paired up with a female charge.  I heard some noises and caught them having sex in her room when I went to check.  It was all consensual, according to both of them.  I almost hated to report them, instead of just letting them get away with it.”

My mind immediately started wondering who it was.  “In the back of my mind, I always wondered if that sort of thing ever happened during trial experience, putting people of the opposite sex in the same room together,” I told him, “but I guess I just assumed that everyone took the responsibility of guarding as seriously as I do.”

Dimitri continued, “No, they don’t.  Alberta said that he’ll be expelled for neglecting his duties.  I just kept thinking of how much I wished I had the chance to have been with you tonight - and every night, especially knowing how we could have been caught last night.  Out in the real world, their relationship would be accepted much more than ours, yet, here … it’s just not.  Roza, I don’t know if we can risk being together while we’re here anymore.”

“It’s just three more weeks,” I said, willing that I could pass some of my hope onto him.

“It hasn’t even been three weeks so far.  And we’ve already almost gotten caught,” he said, scowling, “and Adrian tried to compel you into being his love slave.”

_Oh, God.  Adrian._   “Speaking of Adrian, he visited me in my dreams again tonight.”

“At least he can’t compel you in your sleep,” he said.

“Well, actually,” I said, wincing, “he can.  Lissa said that he just has to be able to tap into your thoughts in dream-walking.”  
Dimitri suddenly looked furious. “Roza where is your cross?  Why aren’t you wearing it?”

“I just realized in the bathroom that I took it off when I went to sleep tonight,” I said, “but it’s fine.  He didn’t compel me at all in the dream and I’ll put it on before I go back to sleep again.” 

That seemed to pacify him a little, “Please make sure you put it on as soon as you can, Roza.  Did he tell you anything that could’ve been compulsion in the dream?  Did he tell you to do or think anything?”

“He asked me to forgive him.  And he asked me to convince Lissa to let him talk to her again.  I said ‘no’ to both and eventually, he took ‘no’ for an answer.”

“Alright,” he said, “I better get going.  I love you, my beautiful Roza.”  He looked both ways down the hall again and kissed me quickly.

“Will you run with me when I get up?”  I asked.

“Yes.  I will see you then.  You better get back to Christian’s room.  And put the cross necklace back on.”

“Okay,” I smiled at him.  I walked down the hall and into Christian’s room.  Christian was still snoring soundly. 

I pulled the cross necklace out of my overnight bag and put it back on my neck, settling back in to my makeshift bed on the floor.  Within moments, I had drifted back off to sleep. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found myself pulled back into another spirit dream.  I was standing in the guest housing complex hallway.  I turned around, expecting to see Adrian, but who I saw instead surprised me.

“Avery?” I asked, incredulous.

“Hello Rose,” she said,  “I need to get close to Vasilisa Dragomir.  You’re her bond-mate.  You’re going to help me.”

It took me a moment to realize that she was looking me in the eyes and speaking in that calming tone of voice as she said this.  _Compulsion_.

“How am I going to help you?” I asked, hoping it was convincing enough to play along, suddenly very glad I had worn my cross to bed.  I hoped that she hadn’t tried to compel Lissa with a similar dream, but I wasn’t counting on it.  But wait, _it’s like she turned off her phone to spirit dreams_!

“Get her to visit me in guest housing, convince her to become friends with me,” she said, “and try to find a way to get Christian to break up with her.” 

I asked, “How should I get him to break up with her?”

“Is there anyone else he is getting close to - someone Vasilisa would think he would cheat with?” she asked. 

I thought about what Dimitri had told me and inspiration hit.  “I’m sleeping in his room right now.”  I knew that both Christian and Lissa knew he’d never cheat with me, but it was the truth and would be enough to throw Avery off of the trail.

“Perfect!” she said, “That almost kills _two_ birds with one stone!  Start flirting with him as soon as you can, where Vasilisa can see you.  And start dropping hints to Vasilisa that I might be a good friend for her.  After you know that I’ve earned Vasilisa’s trust, I want you to make your move on him - in front of her.  Let her see him kissing you.”

Something about this felt just oh-so wrong, but I had to be believable.  “Yes, Avery,” I said.

“You won’t remember this dream when you wake up,” she said, still making eye contact in that calming compulsion voice, “or that I’m a spirit user, at all.  If you see my aura through her eyes, you are to forget it is golden and see only normal Moroi aura colors.  The same thing goes for if you see my brother’s aura or my guardian’s.”

“I won’t remember anything.  And I won’t know you’re a spirit user.”

After that, the spirit dream ended and I drifted into normal sleep

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, I met Dimitri at the track early.  “C’mon,” he said, throwing a little wink at me and motioning me to follow him running towards campus, “We’re going to run around campus instead of on the track today.”

“What’s up, Comrade?” I asked, as I fell in step beside him.

“Seeing you last night in your pajamas when you were away from your own room gave me an idea.” 

I tried and failed miserably at raising an eyebrow.  I still couldn’t get that down. “What idea?”

“Well, seeing you like that gave me a _lot_ of ideas, actually,” he said, glancing down at my body beside his as we ran, “but the important one was about other places to sleep.”  
“Other places to sleep?”

“Specifically, another place people have slept here on campus.  A place where we could be alone together,” he replied.

“The cabin Tasha stayed in,” I said, as I recognized the route we were taking on our run.

“Right, Roza,” Dimitri said, “No one should be there.  We’d be completely alone.  We’ll run on the way there and run on the way back, each morning.  That should give us 20 minutes alone, each day.”

“I _love_ you,” I said, with a grin.

“I know,” he replied.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just before breakfast, I told Christian about what I had seen in my dream and told him not to make eye contact with Avery.  He said that he hadn’t had a spirit dream with Avery last night, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he had one and she had compelled him to forget it, either.  When we saw Lissa, we told her everything. 

“Adrian said he tried to reach me three times?” she asked, “I felt at least a half dozen attempts to reach me in a spirit dream last night.”

“Lissa,” I asked, “Do you think you could make anti-compulsion charms for the rest of us, like you did for me?  For Christian, Jill, Eddie, and Dimitri?  Before tonight?”

She thought for a moment.  “Well, it was tough, but now that I’ve done one, I think the idea should be basically the same.  I could probably make a few more before the end of the day.”

Thinking for a moment, I said, “And one more.”

“One more?” Christian and Lissa both asked together.

“For who?” asked Lissa.

I sighed.  “You know who,” I said, “I think I probably like him the least out of all of us, but if she’s looking to find another spirit user to compel, we can’t let that happen.  Especially if we don’t know what she has planned.”  This next part was a sacrifice on my part - but one that needed to be made.  “Besides, Liss, you can’t exactly make an anti-compulsion charm for yourself - but _he_ can.”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dimitri was leading today’s Moroi defense training session.  Instructor responsibilities were divided up among Dimitri, Alberta, and Stan.  While our Moroi were in the training, the senior novices got to sit and watch for the fighting portion, but we were encouraged to run alongside our charges for the running.  Dimitri had done nearly the same with all of them that he had for me when Lissa and I came back to campus, making them all run laps each day before training.  They didn’t have to run as much as I had, and they couldn’t run as fast as a dhampir, but it was a getting them all to run faster. 

They only ran on the days when Dimitri was the instructor, so I suspected that his choice of running was unique to his training regimen.  One day last week, during our own running session, I had told him so and that it was unnecessary for the Morois’ trainings.  In a surprisingly un-Dimitri-like way, he had simply smirked and flipped me off as a response. 

_“Comrade,” I said, “you know where you can stick that finger.  None of the other guardians make them do it.  It’s unnecessary.”_

_“Rose, think about it,” he had said at the time, “It might not be necessary, but if we’re really honest, is any of this necessary?  If you have to run with Vasilisa, you’re better off if she can keep up with you.  If she has adrenaline pumping through her system, she’ll run even faster than she is now.  And having her run is better than having her fight.”_

Lissa had been one of the Moroi who was actually starting to really improve at running.  She still wouldn’t be able to keep up with me if I ran at my full speed, but she wasn’t getting winded and stopping in the middle anymore.  If we were still in Portland or Chicago and she had run like this with her tall, slim features, they might’ve tried to put her on the high school track team.

Before everything about the compulsion necklace had been brought to light, Adrian had been a part of the Moroi defense training, but thankfully he hadn’t shown up today.  During the time he had trained, he had learned how to throw a punch better than all of the other learners and could run almost as fast as Lissa could.  He still wasn’t any competition for a dhampir guardian, but it made me grateful that he hadn’t trained for very long.

For today’s training, after the running portion finished, Dimitri was teaching them some offensive moves.  Surprisingly, even though their coordination and strength wasn’t what a dhampir would have, the Moroi were being taught moves that I hadn’t known when I had started training with him.  It wasn’t likely that they’d need or ever use any of these moves, but it was much more about knowing how.  Each of the moves was only taught once, so they didn’t have a chance to master anything like the novices had, but, according to Dimitri, the goal was to give them some options if they were ever face-to-face in a life-and-death situation.

“Excuse me, Guardian Belikov,” asked Jill, timidly, from the back row.  I could barely hear her.  “Almost everything we’ve learned from you before today’s training is just about defending ourselves and getting away.  When do we learn how to use a stake?”

“Never,” said Dimitri, firmly, “You don’t need to use a stake.  You save that for your guardians.”  _Good._   I didn’t want Lissa putting herself at risk like that.

“But,” Jill pressed on, “Guardian Belikov … sir … not all of us are going to be assigned guardians in the real world.”  _I hadn’t thought of that.  She had a point._

“Fine,” Dimitri relented, to my surprise, “Show me you can handle it.  If you can prove to me that you are strong enough and have trained hard enough, I will show you - on the last day of the semester.  And I will only show you once.”

Jill got all giddy.  If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say she had a little crush on him.  “Thank you, Guardian Belikov!  You won’t regret it, sir!  How can we prove it to you?”

“I want to see you run twenty laps without stopping,” he said, “And be able to throw a punch hard enough to leave a mark.”

After the training session was over, Jill looked downcast.  She was the worst runner of the group.  “Twenty laps!  That is five miles!  And throwing a punch _that_ hard?  I’ll never be able to do it!” she said, walking alongside Lissa, Christian, Eddie, and I.

“Sure you will, Jailbait,” I said, feeling a surge of affection for her.  For some reason, Adrian’s nickname for her had managed to stick. I met Christian’s eyes as I continued, saying, “and - providing Christian doesn’t object while he’s still my charge - I’m going to help you.”

Christian nodded his approval at me.

“And I’ll do it with you,” said Lissa, grinning and putting her arm around Jill.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back when the attack had first happened and Lissa found herself completely without suitable jewelry for spirit charms, she had ordered some rings and gold chains.  Now, she was going to use all of them.  I just hoped it would be worth it.  By six o’clock, she had made all of the anti-compulsion charms.  We decided that we couldn’t risk having Lissa give him the charms, since she couldn’t make an anti-compulsion charm for herself.  It was decided that Christian would be the one to deliver it. 

Unfortunately, since Christian was my charge, I would have to go with him.  The other reason it was decided that I would go was because we thought Adrian would be more likely to make a charm for Lissa if I were the one to ask him.  I didn’t like that idea.  Dimitri didn’t like it, either, when I told him about it, but it seemed like the only way. 

Both Christian and I were wearing our anti-compulsion charms as we approached Adrian at dinner.  We had agreed that Christian would do all the talking until it was time to ask Adrian to make a charm for Lissa.

“Ivashkov,” Christian said, “we need to talk.”

“What?” asked Adrian, “Come to make me feel even worse about myself?  I don’t know if that’s really possible.”  If it hadn’t been obvious from the clove and whiskey smell coming from him, it was obvious from the slurring of his words that Adrian had been hitting his vices pretty hard the past few days.

Christian asked, “Have you been around Avery Lazar yet?”

“No,” Adrian asked, “I don’t even know who that is.”  
“Christian, we don’t have time for this,” I interrupted, losing patience and wanting to get away from Adrian as quickly as possible.  “Adrian, do you remember how you asked me about the other spirit user?”

“Little dhampir, you’re talking to me again!” he slurred out, surprised and practically yelling it at me in his excitement, “Does this mean you’ve forgiven me?”

I wasn’t even going to justify that with an answer.  “Adrian, Avery Lazar is the other spirit user you saw yesterday.  She’s trying to compel Lissa. I don’t know why yet.  If she finds out you’re a spirit user, she’ll probably try to compel you, too.”

“Wh - What?” he asked, confused.

“Karma’s a bitch, Adrian,” I said, face hard as I looked at him.  “Christian, give it to him.”  Christian handed over the ring.  “It’s an anti-compulsion charm,” I said, “Wear it and she can’t fuck with your head.”

Adrian looked at us in stunned silence.  “But … why?” he asked, confusion and remorse clouding his drunken features.

“Because no one deserves to have their will taken away.  Even you,” I said, “Put it on.”

Adrian slid the ring on his finger, still dumbfounded.  “Lissa can’t make one for herself, though,” he said. 

I shook my head.  “No.  She can’t.”

“I’m not sober enough,” he said, “but when I am … I’ll make her one.” 

I breathed a small sigh of relief.  “Do you need a piece of gold or silver jewelry for her?” I asked.

“No,” he said, “I have a ring in my dorm room.  It should be about the right size to fit her.”

I nodded, saying to Adrian, “Bring it to Christian tomorrow morning.” Christian and I started to walk away. 

Adrian said, “I’m so sorry, Rose.  I _will_ make it up to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our Adrian might yet be on the road to making amends and redemption ... or he might not? Any guesses why Adrian had a ladies’ ring in his dorm room? Once again, I can’t tell you how sorry I am to bring Avery Lazar into this, because she was absolutely not a character that I enjoyed reading, but hopefully the interactions with Adrian will help us to find Rose and friends a bit more prepared for Avery’s presence in their lives. Hopefully, the dream-walking compulsion is at least a good explanation for why Lissa and Adrian couldn’t see her golden aura that happened but never quite got explained in Blood Promise.  
> I couldn’t resist the nod to Star Wars. I hope you all got it and appreciated it.  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> If you have a significant other, does your significant other support or encourage your interests in fictional worlds?   
> This one for me is an interesting one. My husband and I have been some form of a couple for a LONG time. When it comes to mainstream media, there are times when he can be even more obsessive than I am. He loves Star Wars in any form, Comic Book movies and TV, Star Trek, and anything comedy, but the man does not read fiction for enjoyment - EVER! He’s a seriously smart guy, with interests in economics, biochemistry, and physics, just for ‘fun’, but just can’t get into reading. If it hasn’t been made into a movie or TV show, or if it has any hint of a romantic subtext, he will avoid it at all costs. He has seen every Harry Potter movie and even helped to read The Sorcerer’s Stone to my son, but has no interest in reading them himself, on his own. He bought me my Vampire Academy boxed set for my birthday this year, but mocks me mercilessly about my “Vampire Obsession” and has since back in 2000 when I was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on TV.


	24. Chain Reaction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **WARNING:** This chapter contains adult content (the section after the second break). Viewer discretion is advised.

The next morning, Adrian approached us when Christian and I were waiting in line for him to see the feeders. 

Without preamble, he said,“Here it is,” holding a ladies’ silver ring, complete with a diamond that looked to be about two carats, out towards me, “I was able to feel the magic to be able to do it from the ring Lissa made for me.  It should be as powerful an anti-compulsion charm as I could make.”

It made me curious enough that he would have such a large diamond ring just laying around to almost want to have a closer look at it, but I wasn’t about to touch it without knowing it was safe.  I waited for Christian to take the ring.  I motioned to Christian and he took the ring and looked it over.

Adrian continued talking to me.  I didn’t want him talking to me, but I was wearing my necklace and still guarding Christian for my field experience, so as long as Christian was there, I had to stay there.  “I tried to charm the ring with healing, too, but the ring just wouldn’t take more than one kind of spirit magic.  Rose, after seeing what healing did to the darkness in your aura, you and Lissa both reeeeaaaallllyyy should have some sort of healing charm on - at all times.  Would you let me make you one, please?”

I wanted to just walk away.  I wanted to keep my mouth shut and turn my back.  But instead, I blurted out, “Why would I ever let you do anything for me again? You violated my trust.”

“So I can start to make it up to you,” Adrian said, “I will win you back, Rose.”

Rage boiled up inside of me.  Just like I had done with Camille Conta a month ago, I flung him up against the wall, using my forearm to press against his windpipe.  Keeping my voice low, I spit out, with as much malice as I could, “ _You_ do not get to _touch_ me, Adrian - _ever_ again!  You don’t even get to _look_ at me!  I am _not yours_ , I am _his_!  And I will always be!  Is that clear?” 

Adrian had a hand on the arm that was pinning him, but he wasn’t making any effort to try to pull it off of him.  Suddenly, I felt a wave of tingling warmth and cold spread through me.  With a shock, I realized he was healing me.  “What the hell?”  I said.  Confusion washed over me  as I slowly backed away from him. 

Nearly everyone in line of sight in the cafeteria was staring.  The rage had just overtaken me.  I hadn’t realized I was publicly assaulting and threatening a royal.  This didn’t look so good.  “It’s fine, everybody!” Adrian called out to the people around us, “I was just pretending to be a Strigoi for her to give her a little extra practice!  Well done, Rose!  Good job!”

To me, in a much quieter voice, Adrian said, “I could see how much darkness was in you, Rose.  No matter what happened, I still love you.  Let me care for you.”

“It doesn’t change things, Adrian,” I said, in a low threatening voice just above a whisper, “I love Dimitri.  I _don’t_ love you.  You can’t change that.  And you can’t come between us.”

\---------------------------------

Once Christian was done at the feeders, we brought the ring over to Lissa.  As soon as she put it on, Lissa pulled it back off again. 

I wasn’t sure if I was angry or afraid.  “Did Adrian lie about it being an anti-compulsion charm?” I asked. 

“No, I can feel that it’s what he said it is.  But the inside of this ring feels all weird,” she said, looking at it more closely, “It’s engraved with something.”  Lissa held the ring up to the light.  “Oh.  Oh my.”

“What?” Jill asked, “What is it?”

“Look,” Lissa said, showing the ring to Jill.

“Oh, wow,” said Jill, passing it to Christian.

Christian took the ring and said, “Well, shit.  Who would’ve thought that?”

“What?” I asked, getting more and more frustrated that no one was telling me.

Christian handed me the ring.  Holding it up to the light, I saw the inscription, ‘To Rose, I will love you forever. - Adrian’ inside the band. 

“That can’t be an engagement ring … I think,” Lissa said.

\---------------------------------

The days passed by mostly uneventfully.  The next morning, I had my training time with Dimitri.  We got to spend the majority of our running time in the cabin together each morning and it was quickly becoming my favorite part of each day.  Each instance of our time in the cabin had been … intense.  I looked forward to it. 

“Roza, your running has actually gotten faster since we started coming here instead of running laps in the mornings,” Dimitri said as he closed and fastened the lock on the cabin door behind me.

I gave him my man-eating grin as I placed my around his neck, “I just know what I have to look forward to when I get here.”  I leaned in and kissed Dimitri.

“Still,” he said, with a wink, circling my waist in his arms, “we should make sure that you’re getting some good aerobic conditioning while we’re here …” 

I laughed.  “I suppose that you’ve got something in mind, Comrade?”  I asked.

He began kissing my neck.  “I might,” he whispered against my skin, walking me over backwards to the bed with his arms wrapped around me guiding the way, “have a way to get your heart pumping faster.”  The backs of my thighs hit the mattress.  I felt his hands sliding into the sides of the waistband of my shorts.  In one breathtakingly quick move, my shorts and panties were in a heap at my ankles on the floor and then he gently but firmly pushed me down onto the mattress. Kneeling over me, Dimitri lifted the front of my shirt to see that the front of my sports bra had a zipper on the front of it and began grinning like a kid on Christmas.  “I think I love this one, Roza,” he said.  He had it unzipped and spread apart before he even finished the sentence.

Dimitri began kissing his way down to my breasts.  He took my one of my nipples into his mouth, licking and sucking, while his hand massaged the other one, then continued to kiss, journeying further down.  As he got to the bottom of my ribs, Dimitri moved his kisses to my side, alternating between feather-light kisses and open-mouthed licks.  His lips continued to move down, kissing the side of my hips.  “I want to kiss every inch of your body, Roza,” he said, continuing down my hip and then my outer thigh.  Dimitri kissed all the way down to my outer knee, then positioned himself between my legs and moved inward.  Dimitri lifted my knees to place them over his shoulders as he continued his journey up my inner thigh.

His eyes were on my face as he journeyed upward, never breaking that eye contact, but I couldn’t help but feel that he was seeing me from an angle no one had ever seen before.  The feel of his lips, tongue, and breath on me was like fire, sending its intense flame throughout my whole body, and yet, I couldn’t help being self-conscious.  “Umm … Dimitri … you don’t have to -”

“But I want to,” he said, cutting me off.  Dimitri’s mouth was positioned at the apex of my thighs.  He took his fingers and gently spread me, then let his tongue sweep in to lick.  HIs mouth was warm and wet.  I cried out as I felt  the textured surface of his tongue rubbing across me in my most intimate spot. 

“Mmm, Roza, you taste as good as you look,” he murmured against my flesh.  He began deeply kissing me there as he had my mouth, sweeping his tongue in and out.  With each pass of his tongue over my sensitive nub, I moaned again and again, louder each time.

Dimitri reached up with one of his hands and began massaging my breast, pinching and stroking my nipple, all while still continuing his mouth’s luscious assault on my folds.  The hand that had been spreading me apart ventured further down and he inserted a finger inside of me.  “My God, you’re amazing, Roza,” he said, so quiet that I almost wasn’t sure if I had heard him right. 

He continued licking and kissing, hearing me cry out with each lick.  “When you come, I want to hear you scream my name, Roza,” he told me, between licks, “Will you do that for me?”

“Yesss!  Oh, yesss, Dimitri,” I told him, feeling the intensity building within me.  Dimitri added a second finger inside of me as he pinched harder on my nipple.  His tongue was working me faster than I thought possible.  I could barely think of what my own name was as he drove towards madness with the power of this pleasure, but I sure knew his.  I couldn’t stop panting and moaning, but each lick was more stimulating than the last.

“Dimitri!” I cried, still building to that extreme release, “Aah, Dimitri!”

“Louder, Roza,” he commanded, just before his tongue pressed even harder against me.

I could feel the magnitude of my climax building more and more.  Dimitri’s relentless mouth was taking me to new heights.  Suddenly, I felt it.  That weightless explosion hit and I screamed out, “DIMITRI! Ugh, YES! DIMITRI!”  When I screamed out his name, his lips clamped on to my little nub and he began sucking.  I couldn’t keep myself from screaming it again, “DIMITRI!”

He continued to help me ride out the wave after wave of pleasure with a few more firm but gentle licks, then kissed his way up my body.  “Roza,” he told me, as he kissed, murmuring against my skin, “I love to hear you like that.  You have no idea what that does to me.”  When Dimitri was at my neck, he asked, “Do you want to taste yourself on my lips, Roza?  You taste wonderful.”

I had never even considered such a thing.  Normally, it probably would’ve disgusted me, but hearing it from him this way, after he had brought me to this pleasure, just made me want to.  “Yes,” I breathed.  Dimitri kissed me deeply and I tasted the salty, musky fluid covering his gorgeous mouth.

“I know I’ve never done that before, but I’d like to return the favor,” I told him.

“Roza, you don’t have to - “  
I cut him off, using his own words against him, “But I want to.” 

Dimitri inhaled deeply, his eyes darkening.  “Are you sure?” he asked. 

“Yes,” I replied, letting my hand find and caress his already-erect manhood through his workout shorts.  He was beyond aroused, so hard that he felt more like bone than flesh as I gripped him.  He let out a groan as my hand went around him.  “But I’ve never done it before.  I don’t really know what to do.  Will you help me?”

“Oh, yes, Roza,” Dimitri breathed.

I pulled Dimitri’s tank top and he helped me to lift it over his head.  I began kissing my way down his muscular neck and chest, still stroking and rubbing at him through his shorts.  When I got to his waistband, I heard Dimitri begin to moan in pleasure.  He helped me slide his shorts and boxer briefs down.  I kissed down along the ‘V’ that ran from his hip and began placing little licks each place my mouth went.  “Just like that, my beautiful Roza,” he said, running his fingers into my hair and cupping the back of my head.

When I arrived at his shaft, I continued with the little licks as I had done.  Dimitri moaned his approval.  “Yes, Roza, you feel so good,” he said, “All the way to the tip, baby.”  I licked him all the way up to the tip of his shaft.  When I got there, I placed several more little licks.  “Just like that, Roza,” he said again. 

I kept going for a minute or so, not really sure what to do next.  I met Dimitri’s eyes and saw nothing but pleasure, but I gave him a questioning look.

“You could take me in your mouth,” he said, “and slide up and down.  Like you’re making love to me with your mouth.”  I wrapped my lips around him and heard him gasp and moan.  I didn’t feel like I could get very much in my mouth, but I went as far in as I could without gagging.  From the look on his face, this was exactly what he wanted.  I couldn’t believe that I could enact so much bliss for him.  It was almost turning me on as much as it was Dimitri to see the effect I had on him.

“Yes, Roza,” he said, tightening his grip on my hair, “that feels incredible!  Now, if you want, you could wrap your hand around the base and stroke up and down.”  I began to stroke, tasting the saltiness of him as I bobbed my head along him, listening to him moan and watching him watch me.

“I’m not going to last long,” he breathed, as I continued my motion, his voice rising slightly as he felt the pleasure building, “I almost came just watching you scream earlier.  But this … Roza, this is astounding.  Everything about you is everything I’ve ever dreamed of.”

Just thinking of how much I was getting to him was getting me more turned on.  One of Dimitri’s hands slid down and began cupping and teasing my breast, causing me to moan around his shaft. “Oh, yes, Roza!” he exclaimed, “Let me hear you!”

As I moaned again, Dimitri reached a tipping point.  His breathing sped and he began clutching my hair so tightly it almost hurt.  “Roza, I’m going to come,” he said, “Do you want me to -”

I knew what he was asking and I knew what I wanted to do to please him.  I moaned loudly, and pushed him as deeply as I could into my throat, gripping him tightly and stroking as fast as my hand could move.  I felt him release his seed into my throat as I sucked and swallowed it all down, continuing to stroke and suck until it was all gone.

“Roza,” Dimitri said, pulling me up to his mouth to kiss him, “Thank you.  I love you so much.”

\---------------------------------

The next day passed by quickly.  Mornings in the cabin with Dimitri were all pure heaven.  During the daytime, I fended off a couple more ‘Strigoi attacks’ from guardians successfully, including another one where I managed to stake Dimitri successfully after two other novices failed to take him down.  On Wednesday afternoon after classes let out, Christian and I went to meet with the others for the Moroi defense training. 

“Where’s Lissa?” Christian asked me, “She’s not here.”

I reached out into the bond, but I felt nothing.  “I don’t know.  I can’t feel her.  I think she’s blocking me.”

“We should’ve started fifteen minutes ago.  Liss is never late.  Where was she the last time you sensed her?” he asked.

“The last time I sensed her, she was just leaving her creative writing class,” I said.

“Well,” said Christian, “we can train some other time.  I wanna go find her.” 

“I couldn’t agree more,” I said, following after him.

“Me, too,” said Jill, as she came up behind us.

I shot a look at Dimitri, who was the Moroi’s trainer for the day.  “The last time she was missing,” I said, “was when Victor took her.”

Dimitri pulled out his cell phone and dialed.  “This is Belikov,” he said, after the person answered, “Princess Dragomir is missing again.  Can someone else take over this training session?” Pause. “Bye.”   Then, to the three of us, he said, “Guardian Petrov is coming to lead the training.  Rose and I will handle this.  Ozera, Mastrano, you stay behind with the rest of the training group.”

“Behind, my ass,” said Christian, following along. 

Jill shifted her eyes back and forth uncertainly between the training and us.  “She’s my friend,” Jill said, “I’m not walking away, either.”

When we arrived at where Lissa’s class was, the teacher was still there in the darkened classroom alone, looking rather dazed.

“Excuse me, Ms. Malloy,” said Dimitri, “have you seen Princess Dragomir?”

“Yes.  She is one of my students,” Ms. Malloy replied. 

Dimitri continued, “Do you know where she is?’ 

“She left class with her good friend.  I was to stay here and not get in the way.” 

“What good friend?” I asked.

“Avery Lazar,” she said.

“Oh, fuck no!” I said.  Ms. Malloy’s dazed look said all that needed to be said.  She had been compelled. I took off running towards the Lazars’ apartment. 

Dimitri caught up with me after a few feet, but Christian and Jill were far behind.  It didn’t matter.  I needed to get there.  As fast as I could.

When we arrived at Avery’s room, the door was locked.  I began pounding furiously on the door.  “Let us in!” I yelled.

Suddenly, I could sense Lissa in the bond.  She had been knocked unconscious and was just coming to.  “Dimitri, they’re in Lissa’s room!” I cried, as I began to run off towards her dorm. 

As I was leaving the building, I met Christian and Jill at the door. “In Lissa’s room!” I told them, as I continued running.  I knew it would take me another five minutes to make it across campus.  I just hoped that I had five minutes.

As I ran, I tried to sense what was happening through the bond.  Lissa was afraid.  She was being held in place with her arms behind her back by Avery’s brother, Reed.

“I don’t know,” Avery said, “how you managed to resist my compulsion, but that doesn’t matter.  I have other ways of getting you to do what I want.”  Avery looked at her brother.  “Reed, get her over to the window.”  Reed pushed Lissa, but she was fighting back.  Lissa used her defense training to dig her heel into Reed’s foot and then elbow him in the ribs.  Reed released her and she ran to the room door, throwing it open.  Lissa bolted out into the hallway, but when she got to the corner, Avery’s guardian, Simon, was there.  A guardian!

“Simon,” she said, out of breath, “You have to help me!”

“She runs fast for a Moroi,” he remarked to someone behind Lissa, “but here she is now.”

Avery, approaching from behind, said, “She does.  Did you take care of her assigned novice?”  Eddie!

“Yes, Lady Lazar,” said Simon, “He won’t be coming to for at least half an hour.  Should I take her back into her room now?”

I didn’t escape Lissa’s notice that he had that same glazed-over look in his eyes.  Simon was being compelled.

“Yes, take her back to her room, please.”

“Stop!” said Lissa, making eye contact with Simon and trying to compel him, “You don’t want to do this.  You want to help me.”  But nothing happened.  Lissa had been drugged and couldn’t tap into spirit.  Wordlessly, Simon grabbed Lissa roughly by the wrists and began pushing her back towards her dorm room.

One of the doors opened in the hallway.  A familiar voice asked, “What’s going on out here?” It was Adrian! 

Avery looked into Adrian’s eyes and said, “It’s nothing for you to worry about.  Go back in your room.” 

“Oh, I think it _is_ something for me to worry about,” he said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, did anyone see that coming with the ring? How do you think Adrian is taking it that he is going to have to leave campus? What do you think of Dimitri’s newest ‘training’ for Rose in the cabin? Was it nice to see that Rose and Dimitri could have some more quality alone time together? And our dark Adrian might have started to become a hero for a minute or two, after all.  
> I’ve been under the weather a little bit, so this chapter might be hitting you a little bit later than usual and I’m pretty sure that the next one will be delayed by a few days, but I’ll try to get the updates out as soon as possible. The doctor told me not to return to work for a few more days, so no guarantees on the schedule until I’m a little bit healthier.  
> Here’s my question of the week: Much like with Adrian’s ring for Rose, have you ever been in a situation where you’ve had to reject someone when they wanted to take a relationship to the next level?  
> I’m honestly really horrible about this, occasionally unintentionally. The first time my husband said, “I love you,” I replied back with, “What did you say?” One of my ex-boyfriends asked me to marry him over a long-distance phone call while he was at basic training for the Army and I told him, “I’m not going to answer you because I know you don’t really mean to ask me that.”


	25. Spiritual Warfare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has hung around for reading this story! I can’t tell you how much it means that people are reading and enjoying my work. I know that my updating schedule has been a little sporadic and I appreciate your patience and support.  
> If you’ve been around the sites for a while or just have put a lot of thought into it, you have probably already come to this before, but keep in mind that fan fiction is something done voluntarily by the authors in their spare time for the sake of the writing itself, no payout other than the words coming to life and people reading them. At the moment, I’m just not feeling a strong connection to the Avery part of the storyline, so she is going away.  
>  **UPDATED MAY 27, 2019**  
> 

**Adrian’s POV:**

I had almost packed the last of my suitcase.  My flight was leaving tomorrow.  I’d only had a couple of drinks since I woke up this morning.  After sobering up to make Lissa’s anti-compulsion charm, I figured I might as well stay mostly sober while I finished packing so I could make sure I got all of my things.  It seemed like there was no way I’d be able to come back to get them any time soon while Rose was still on campus. 

Rose.  I guess I hadn’t gone about it the right way, but I loved her, with all of my heart.  Her fiery spirit, her beauty, her passion, her smart-ass comments, her fighter’s spirit.  I wanted her - no, I needed her -, but she felt like I had mistreated her and she didn’t want me anymore.  I didn’t think what I was doing to her was wrong, but she seems to have felt that way. 

Everything between Rose and Belikov had started because of compulsion.  If it wasn’t for Dashkov’s earth compulsion charm, she wouldn’t be with him today.  She had given her heart because she succumbed to the desires of her body.  Those desires all started because of the charm.  Couldn’t she have desired me the same way?

I love her.  I know I shouldn’t, but I do.  I need her.  I love her, and she rejected me … for now.  I knew the time would come to let this drag me down into a drunken stupor, and I would let it, but the anti-compulsion ring on my finger was proof that Rose still cared about me.  I still had hope that I could win her back.  I stroked the ring thoughtfully after I tossed another folded shirt in my suitcase.

All of a sudden, I heard a bunch of yelling out in the hallway.  I opened my door and asked, “What’s going on out here?”, stepping out of the doorway.

Avery Lazar was standing there.  I had only just been introduced to her yesterday, but I would recognize her striking gray eyes anywhere.  If Rose didn’t already have my heart, I might have tried to take a shot with her, especially since I’d been told she was a spirit user.  Avery hadn’t admitted it, but her aura showed me that she was.  I took in the scene.  Lissa was there, along with Avery and her guardian, who was hold Lissa’s wrists behind her back and pushing her down the hall. 

Avery looked into my eyes and said, “It’s nothing for you to worry about.  Go back in your room.”  

“Oh, I think it _is_ something for me to worry about,” I said, to myself. Avery and the others began walking back down the hall towards Lissa’s room.  I don’t think they saw me as an obstacle or even expected me to follow.

Before Rose’s father had visited, I’d been attending the Moroi defense training with the rest of the group.  I knew I couldn’t take down a trained guardian, but I could probably land a punch or kick on him if I had to.  I might’ve been sober enough to compel him, if I had to.  Though I wasn’t good at it yet, I was also starting to learn how to use telekinesis with my spirit work I’d been doing with Lissa - although, Lissa and I also hadn’t met since Mr. Mazur’s visit. 

When they got to Lissa’s room, Avery said to her brother - I think his name was Rod, but I never really paid attention -, “Don’t just stand there!  Open the damn door!”

Rod looked at her and I saw that look on his eyes.  He had the same look I’d seen a hundred times on Rose and others.  Avery was compelling him.  As I watched the three of them, I took a peak at their auras.  Somehow, both Avery’s brother and her guardian appeared to be covered in shadows - nearly drowning in them, compared to what Rose looked like.  Avery’s aura looked so sparkly it appeared almost as if she had never used her spirit abilities, but I now knew that wasn’t the case.  I followed them to Lissa’s door and stood in the hall just outside her doorway.  As the three of them finished walking inside the door, I finally realized with surprise that Rod and Avery’s guardian must _both_ be bonded to her.  No wonder she could channel so much spirit without the effects!

Discovering that Avery had been bonded to two people, I gasped out in surprise.  All three of them looked up at me.  _Oh, shit!_

“I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d say ‘hi’,” I said, hoping it was a believable cover, “Avery, you look lovely today.”

“Restrain him,” Avery told her guardian, then to her brother, “Reed, hold the princess while Simon gets Adrian.”  _I guess his name isn’t Rod, after all_ , I thought to myself.

Without thinking about what I was doing, I reached out with spirit and tried to use the telekinesis I’d been working on.  I quickly looked around Lissa’s dorm room and went for something heavy.  A wooden bookcase went flying across from where it sat on the floor to knock out Avery’s guardian.  My aim wasn’t perfect and the corner of the bookcase hit Lissa on the cheek, causing her to shriek in pain, but it hit the guardian over the top of the head and succeeded in getting the guardian to stop from restraining me.  He fell unconscious, the bookcase overtop of him on the floor.  Reed grabbed hold of Lissa’s arms before she had a chance to run away.

Avery told Reed, “Don’t worry about her, after all.  Get Ivashkov!”  Avery stepped over the bookcase and grabbed Lissa’s arms from Reed.

I thought about running.  It’s what I had spent the most time in defense training doing, but it wouldn’t work for this.  It might save me, but I wasn’t the only one at stake here. 

I didn’t think I could take out a guardian with a punch, but a teenage Moroi boy?  No problem.  I punched Reed square in the face.  He didn’t go down, but I could tell he was surprised someone was punching him.  The jarring of my punch seemed to be enough to pull Reed out of his compulsion daze for a moment.  He stopped where he was. 

“You don’t want to do this,” I told Reed, using as much spirit as I could pull to compel him, looking straight at him, “You want to let us go.”

Reed stood there dumbfounded, unable to move.  “Get him, you idiot!” Avery said to him, clearly turning her own compulsion on again.  I saw his aura get darker as she did it, instantly sucking the darkness Avery’s excessive spirit use was creating from her. Reed stood for a moment, looking confused.

I idly thought that if it weren’t for the fact that she was using that calming compulsion voice, the words coming out of Avery’s mouth reminded me of something you’d hear from some kind of comic book villain or an old-timey movie where the character has shifty eyes and twirls his mustache.  For one crazy split-second, I actually thought I had seen that she had a mustache and was twirling it.  I blinked to clear my head. 

“I said get him!” Avery insisted, throwing more compulsion at Reed.

As Reed came at me again, I threw another punch his way.  This time, he managed to dodge my fist, though only _just_.  When he came for me again, he tried to punch me back, though, being younger and untrained, he lacked the power and ability that I had.  Most of my defense training had been on dodging and running, so I had no problem avoiding his fist.  In all honesty, though, I was amazed I was holding my own as well as I was, even though it was against Reed.  It was my first attempt at fighting a real person, in a real-world situation.

Through all of this time, Lissa had looked half-dazed and groggy, but it appeared that she was starting to come around. “Liss,” I asked, as I dodged Reed again, “can you compel him?  If you do it with me, I think we stand a chance.”

“I’m not sure I can,” she replied, “I can’t reach the magic!”

“Try!” I told her, as Reed finally landed a punch and hit me in the eye.  This was going to bruise, but I didn’t think it would be too bad.  I punched back, connecting with his nose.  Reed gasped and instantly grabbed at his nose with both hands.  I saw blood and wondered if I’d broken it. That would definitely be another first for me.

I pulled as much spirit as I could and told Reed to subdue his sister.  Simultaneously, I could see Lissa’s aura and Avery’s aura. They were both compelling him, too.  For some reason, it seemed like Lissa was trying to compel him to do something different than I was, but I couldn’t tell exactly what.  Suddenly, Avery let out an ear-piercing scream and let go of Lissa, squeezing her eyes shut and clutching at the sides of her head.  Reed stopped punching and dropped to the ground, sitting on the floor. 

It was over.

It all happened in a blur.  In the end, I was standing there with Lissa in her dorm room, with Avery and her two bond-mates all unconscious or unresponsive on the floor.  Lissa had a bruise on her cheek from when the bookcase fell, so I reached out to heal her, just as Rose arrived. 

Of course. Rose.  The stress Lissa was feeling would’ve called out to Rose like a beacon.  The bond would bring her.

And Belikov was right behind her.  When he arrived, he walked up to me, tossed me like a rag doll, and pinned me to the wall, strong arm pushing against my windpipe. 

“You,” he growled, pulling back a fist to punch me.  His face was red and uncharacteristically angry and brutal compared to the usual expressionless gaze he held.

But Rose steadied his hand.  “Dimitri,” she breathed, “Stop.  He didn’t do this.”

I could see the conflict on his face.  He glanced at Rose by his side as he said, “Are you sure?”

“He saved me,” Lissa replied in a quiet voice.  I could see from Rose’s expression that she had known what had happened.

Moments later, Christian and Jill walked into the room.  Christian ran to Lissa’s side.  “Liss, are you okay?” he asked, running a gentle hand along the bruise I’d tried to heal.  The two of them shared a tender kiss that made me feel uncomfortable to be watching, but Belikov still had me pinned to the wall, unable to move to give them the privacy they deserved.

“Adrian defended me,” Lissa said, “If it wasn’t for him, I’d be lying on the pavement outside my window right now.”

“Dimitri,” Rose said, tugging on his sleeve, “please put him down, Comrade.” 

Finally, Belikov complied and released me.  I keeled over and gasped for air, sputtering. “About damn time,” I said, exasperated but still winded enough that it just came out sounding pathetic.

“Can I have a moment alone with him in the hallway?” Rose asked, looking into Belikov’s eyes.

After a long pause, Dimitri finally, very tersely, said, “Fine.  _One_ minute.  If it’s even ten seconds more, I’m coming out there to kill him.”  From the look in his eyes in that moment, I had no doubt of the sincerity behind the word ‘kill’.

Rose led me into the hall and closed the door to Lissa’s room.

“I knew you cared, little dhampir,” I said.

“Shut up, Adrian,” she replied, “You’re the hero today.  And I _would_ owe you for this.  But this can’t make up for what you did to me.”

“How is this any different from what happened with Mr. Boring Borscht over there when you had that other charmed necklace on?” I asked her.

Rose scowled at me. “Two things,” she said, “First, for _that_ charm to work, it had to be based on actual feelings.  Second, the charm was on both of us.  And _he_ wasn’t the one to put the charm on us.”  
“So, you’re saying that charm didn’t influence your physical attraction to him?  And that your feelings weren’t impacted by the physical?” I asked.  I wouldn’t be convinced that it hadn’t changed the way she felt about him. 

She took a moment and gave a slight shake of her head, but I could tell she was lying.  “Not even a little bit?” I asked.

“It doesn’t matter if it did,” she said, “My feelings for him weren’t just from compulsion.  You forced me to be attracted to you, Adrian.  You didn’t make me have sex with you, and I’m grateful for that - but you forced me to do a lot of other things.”

“I asked you if you wanted me to bite you.  I only compelled you to tell me the truth,” I said.

“I suppose kissing you was my wish each time it happened, too?  Huh?” she asked, getting louder and angrier as she went, “Or taking off my clothes?  Or letting you touch me?”  I started to interrupt to tell her that he had touched her under their own charm when she added: “Or giving you a _hand job_ while my best friend was in the room?”  As Rose’s fury skyrocketed, I shied away.  There was no point in poking the bear on this.  And then, suddenly, she changed tone.  “Adrian, you may have been the hero today, and you may have stopped me from going all the way under compulsion.  There was even a point in time when you were someone I would call my friend.  Some part of me may have even had feelings for you at some point.  Hell, there may have even been a _small_ part of me that actually wanted you in that way.  And because, on top of all that, you saved my best friend today, we’re going to leave you be for today.  I may even forgive you for all of this someday - BUT - _know_ that that day is not today.  Now, _leave_ Adrian.  I don’t want to see you again.”  Rose opened the door again and ran into Lissa’s room.  I could see from her aura when she looked at him that if it had been just the two of them, she would be in that asshole’s arms again.

Damnit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone see it coming that _this_ (much darker) Adrian would be the hero here? And what about that talking-to from Rose? I felt some vindication in having her put a voice to everything she felt about what happened and finally fighting back just a bit more. In reality, I’m sure it’s only a small portion of what she should have done to him, but I just felt like it wouldn’t be Rose if she didn’t bring a little bit of the fight to him for what he did, at some point.  
> Chapter 26 will be longer and should provide an interesting twist you didn’t see coming. I won’t tell you everything, but there will be more of Adrian's POV and we'll get to see his journey to the dhampir commune in Michigan (my home state!) and what happens there. Afterwards, we might not see him again for a while afterwards. I’m sort of anticipating to have 26 out before the next seven days have passed, but after that I might be slipping into more of an every-other-week pattern of updating.  
> Also, I should give you an advance warning: Chapter 26 will have some substance abuse and some more graphic violence than we've seen before as Adrian sinks deeper into alcoholism, drugs, and spirit darkness, along with some brief domestic violence with the appearance of Randall. I'll try to sort of keep it clearly marked and just put a brief summary in the author notes at the end of the chapter for those who'd prefer to skip over that stuff.  
> So here’s my question of the week:  
> Have you ever been in a situation where you stood up for someone else who couldn’t stand up for themselves? Or would you stand up for someone if you had the chance?  
> It’s honestly not often that I’ve been in a situation like that, but I’ve spent enough time being the victim that I’d like to think that if I were in a position to fight back, I would. Much like Rose, I tend to act before I think much more often than I should, so hopefully that would be something that would push me to fight … _but_ , I’d honestly worry a little that my own inherent anxiety and fear would leave me more of a passive bystander because of fear of becoming a victim myself.


	26. Cast Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains some very mature content. There is some graphic sexual content in the first section (up to the first break) and last section (after the last break) of this chapter, depictions of prostitution and some brief domestic violence in the second-to-last section, and a murder in the last section of the chapter. Sorry in advance, but know that I have a plan to make it all work out in the end of the story. Please know that Rose is unharmed and untouched during this chapter and that there is a summary in the author's notes at the bottom if you choose to skip over it.

**Adrian’s POV:**

_The flash of her dark eyes was incredible.  Her body was full of fire and energy.  I could see how much she wanted me.  And I’d never wanted a woman more than I wanted Rose.  I couldn’t wait until we were in the hotel room.  I wrapped my arms around her voluptuous curves and pulled her as close to me as I could, letting my kiss penetrate her beautiful mouth.  I was running my hands all over her body, feeling the fullness and softness of her breasts, the firmness of her tight ass, the way her muscles contracted around her spine, and the goosebumps along her neck as I let my fingers gently scrape at her nape.  Henderson and Phillips were there, watching.  I could almost feel their heated gaze on me._

_After finally getting her inside the room and away from those two goons, I couldn’t possibly undress her fast enough.  I was so glad that the dress was so easy to remove.  All I had to do was untie the knot and she was down to her undergarments.  I couldn’t believe how sexy she was, standing there in nothing but her silky bra and panties with those tall stiletto heels._

_I unclasped her bra as quickly as I could, anxious to have her bare before me.  Her breasts were incredible and I immediately caressed them, letting my tongue tease at her erect nipples. Those incredibly hard nipples were all the evidence I needed that Rose was as turned on by me as I was by her.  I let my fingers wander down to her panty-clad core and began rubbing at her through the silky fabric.  I could tell how wet she was and my dick was completely ready for sliding into her sweet virgin honeypot._

_Rose had been working on my belt for so long, but hadn’t even unfastened it yet - that was easily fixed, though.  I laid her down on the bed and began kissing her everywhere my mouth could reach, loving how her breathing would speed up as my fangs would graze her soft skin.  I took off her necklace because I wanted to be sure this was all her own decision.  I wanted Rose to be with me for me._

_“Are you ready for me, little dhampir?” I asked, reaching for my belt buckle and beginning to remove my own clothes._

_“Yes,” she replied, “Did you bring protection?”_

_“I did,” I said, “I love you, Rose.”_

_“Adrian, I love you, too,” she replied, “With all of my heart.”_

_That was all I needed to hear.  I pulled off the rest of my clothes, then tore at her panties, removing them from her as fast as I could.  As soon as they were out of the way, I thrust my finger inside her slick heat.  Rose moaned in pleasure, writhing on the bed with her head thrown back as my finger slid in and out of her.  I pulled a condom packet out of my pants pocket with one hand and tore open the wrapper with my teeth, all the while pleasuring her with my finger, then pulled my hand back from her so that I could roll it on._

_After the condom was completely on, I wasted no time entering her. I felt her barrier give way as I was enveloped inside her. She was tighter than any woman I’d ever been with before.  I knew she would feel good, but I couldn’t help being amazed at how indescribably wonderful her body felt wrapped around mine.  She was clearly a virgin, but she didn’t seem to have any pain when I entered her, so I immediately plunged into her over and over again, kissing her all over as I plowed her._

_From Rose’s breathing, I could tell that she kept getting more and more excited every time a fang grazed her soft skin, so I did it again and again, teasing her with it.  I could feel her already oh-so-tight walls tightening around me and I knew she was about to come.  I wanted to come with her.  Now that I knew she was mine and was willingly letting me be the first man to have sex with her, I couldn’t resist one more little piece of compulsion.  “Rose, you want me to bite you,” I told her._

_“Oh, fuck yes!  I have wanted that all night!” she cried out, “Adrian, please bite me.  Now!”_

_I waited until the moment was right and she was just about to climax, then I sank my teeth into her.  As I felt her walls fluttering around me, her warm blood trickled down my throat and everything about this moment sent me over the edge with her.  “Aagh!  Oh, Adrian!” she screamed out, “Yes! Baby!  I love you so much!”_

_As we both came down from our orgasms, I released my bite on Rose’s neck and slid out of her.  “I love you, too, Rose.  I’ll never love anyone else the way I love you,” I told her, “I was going to wait to ask you this, but I just can’t wait anymore.  Rosemarie Hathaway, will you marry me?”_

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are now at our cruising altitude,” a voice suddenly said, “The fasten seatbelts sign will remain on, but you are free to move about the cabin.”

Damn.  It had all been a dream.

\--------------------

As I exited the plane at Houghton, I didn’t quite know what to expect.  Northern Michigan looked like what I would imagine Canada looked like - except with less hockey.  After I woke from the dream earlier, I had paid the flight attendant for as much alcohol as the airline would allow me to buy.  It wasn’t enough to get me drunk, but it dulled the constant hum of spirit and the depression that was weighing on me.  My buzz was still there, but I was starting to become more sober than I would care to. 

I hadn’t spoken to any of my family about leaving before boarding the plane, but Mr. Mazur had told me that my uncle Rand was staying at a dhampir commune about an hour from the airport called Wild Pine Intentional Community.  I hadn’t spoken to Rand personally in at least a decade, but I would hear tales from time to time of his scandalous behavior and wild partying.  Rumor had it that he had illegitimate children with at least a dozen women. 

From what I had been told, I would be headed to the same dhampir commune he was at.  I wasn’t privy to all of the details, but Mazur had somehow made some arrangements for me to stay there as a long-term guest.  From what I knew of the places like this, he must’ve pulled some strings because usually Moroi men weren’t exactly welcomed to stay.  It was isolated and I was told that they would have a few feeders on hand, kept there just for me personally - or to keep _me_ there, depending on how you looked at it.  I wasn’t sure exactly where I was supposed to go or how to get there, but I wasn’t given much of a choice.  I didn’t want to admit it, but I had very little control over what was happening in my life. 

Admittedly, I could’ve fought back - done what I could to stay at St. Vladimir’s.  I’m sure that a few seconds of compulsion with the right people could’ve convinced them to let me stay.  I even wondered if maybe just a phone call to Aunt Tatiana would have been enough, but I wasn’t going to fight this.  Rose was the biggest reason - maybe the _only_ reason - to stay and she didn’t want me there anymore.

All because of Dimitri Belikov.

If it wasn’t for Rose’s feelings for Belikov, she would’ve loved me from the beginning and I wouldn’t have needed the compulsion.  Worse yet, I kept hearing Rose’s words echo in my mind: “Dimitri told me what you did … The guy who actually loves me … “  Not only was he the one who found out about the compulsion - and kept me from letting the compulsion work long enough to actually change her heart -, he had also returned her feelings for him, making him an even bigger obstacle to being with the woman I loved.

As soon as I collected my suitcase from the baggage carousel, I saw them there.  They were two dhampir men, but not like any I’d seen before.  They were not guardians - at least they didn’t have promise marks -, but they definitely looked like fighters.  Mazur’s men, of course.

Before I could even get the chance to approach them, one of the two came to me.  “Adrian Ivashkov?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied.

“You’re to come with us,” the other said, gripping my bicep tightly. 

Between the alcohol’s numbing my ability to wield spirit and slowing my reflexes, I was in no condition to oppose him, but I didn’t really have a reason to oppose him, either, so I shrugged and simply said, “Okay.  Lead the way.”

As soon as we got to the commune, one of the men instructed me, “You’re free to go wherever you want now, but if our employer should discover you’ve returned to St. Vladimir’s or to Court, you’ll be sent back here - and there may be some consequences on your return.”

After unloading my suitcase from the car, I nodded and then the men left me.

There were several dhampirs walking around.  It was around two o’clock in the afternoon - human daytime - Eastern time, and I’d been up since midnight Montana time.  I was exhausted, but the commune seemed to operate mostly on human time.  After asking around a little bit, I found the little cabin that they were using as guest housing and was given my own room there.

I sent a quick text to my parents, letting them know where I was, then settled in to sleep off my jet lag.

\--------------------

When I awoke, it was around midnight.  I left my room and knocked on the bedroom that my Uncle Randall was supposed to be staying in.  He didn’t answer, so I walked outside.  The advantage to being in a dhampir commune, if I couldn’t be somewhere with a flock of guardians, was that most of the residents were trained as guardian novices, even if they weren’t guardians, so it was relatively uncommon for Strigoi to attempt an attack - and it was pretty safe to be out after dark.  Several people were still up, even if the commune operated on human time. 

I stopped the first person that I saw - a dhampir woman.  “Excuse me, ma’am,” I said with a smile, “Do you know where I might find Randall Ivashkov tonight?”

Instead of answering me, the woman slapped me.  I lifted a hand to my smarting cheek as she said, “If you’re with him, you’re not welcome here.  I hope I never see that asshole again.”  And she walked away.

After about three women gave me similar responses with varying degrees of violence and revulsion, I decided it might be better to start out differently.  When I came across the next person, I started with a simple, “Hello there.”

“Hello,” replied the dhampir woman who looked like she was around forty.  She had fiery red hair and freckles.  She wasn’t quite as pale as a Moroi, but she was definitely paler than typical dhampirs.

“I’m new around here,” I told her, extending a hand to shake, “My name’s Adrian Ivashkov.  It’s sort of an odd setup, but I’m the newest resident here.”

She smiled and said, taking my hand, “Sandy Ashford.  I work as a nurse in our doctor’s office here.  I’ve actually met you once - and I’ve heard a lot about you.”  
“All good, I hope?” I asked.

Sandy gave a slight laugh.  “Actually, not so much,” she said, “but I’m sure it was mostly due to the source.  We could certainly use your talents with spirit here in the doctor’s office, though.”

“Oh?  What source was that?”

Sandy’s face fell as she said, “You might recall my son Mason.  He died about a week after meeting you.  I had talked to him on the phone the day before he left the ski lodge.  I came to St. Vladimir’s in January to pick up his belongings.”

“Wow, sorry to hear that.  I don’t mean to be the one to bring up painful memories.  I don’t suppose that I could make it much worse, but have you, by any chance, seen Randall Ivashkov around?  I was told he was here.”

“Well, I honestly sort of hope not.  I hadn’t heard he was here right now, but I’d rather not see him,” she said, “Randall and I don’t have the best relationship.  Is there a particular reason you’re looking for him?”

“Sorry to hear that.  I was mostly just looking for a familiar face - Randall is my uncle.  Mind if I ask why you dislike him so much?”

“Well, that’s sort of an interesting twist.  You see, Randall was Mason’s father.  I ended our relationship when Mason was still a baby - while I was pregnant with my second child.  Let’s just say he doesn’t treat women very well.  That’s part of why people around here don’t like him.”

“I apologize,” I said, “Uncle Rand has made some very bad decisions.  Any idea where I might find him?”

“Well,” she said, “you could probably find him at our local barkeep.  Ava offers alcohol to anyone with the means to pay.”

I asked her, “How would I go about getting there?  I could probably use a drink, myself,” I said, “It’s been a pretty rough day.”

“I’ll walk you there,” she offered, “but if Randall’s there, I’m not sticking around.”

\--------------------

When we arrived at Ava’s, Sandy turned to me and said, “Adrian, it really has been very nice to get to know you.  My Mason was always such a sweet boy, but he had a bit of a chip on his shoulder when it came to Rose Hathaway.  I don’t think he gave you a fair shot.”

Suddenly, I heard Rose’s voice, as if she were in the room with me, saying, “It seems like _I_ never gave you a fair shot, either.  I mean, it’s not like you were the _first_ person to use a lust compulsion charm on me.”  I had no idea where her voice was coming from, but I knew it couldn’t be real.  I must’ve been hearing things, kind of a hallucination with my ears.  I tried to brush it off.

“A lot of people don’t seem to,” I told her, turning the handle on the door to Ava’s makeshift bar of a cabin.

“I can already see he’s there, Adrian,” Sandy told me with a grimace, “so this is where I leave you.  Have a good night and hopefully I’ll see you again.”

I replied, with my first smile in days, “Thank you, Sandy.  It was really nice to meet you.  I hope to see you around.”  Then, I walked into the bar.

Uncle Randall was sitting at the counter, a shot glass in one hand and a half-empty bottle of vodka in the other.  “Uncle Rand?” I asked, as I bellied up to the bar counter beside him.

Rand turned to look at me.  “Adrian?  Is that you?” he said.

“Yes, it is,” I replied.

I heard Rose’s voice again, saying to me, “Look at him, he’s an outcast and a fuck-up, just like you’re turning out to be.” 

She had a point about him, but he was family.  And I had a long way to go before I was at his level.  At least, I hoped so.

“Well, grab a glass and I’ll share my drink with you.  What are you doing in a place like this?”  Rand asked.

I thought for a second and said, “I screwed with the wrong girl and a guy came and put me in my place, then I got sent on my way.”

“No kidding?  Same here, at one point in my life, I guess you could say,” Uncle Rand slurred out with a half-smile.

“Stupid Dimitri Belikov and Abe Mazur,” I muttered under my breath.

“Dimitri is ten times the man you’ll ever be,” Rose said.

Uncle Rand turned and looked at me wide-eyed.  “Well, damn, I knew you spirit users had some interesting powers with your element, but I didn’t know you could see all that!”

“What are you talking about, Uncle Rand?  Spirit?” I asked.

“Well, how else would you have known?”

I was getting thoroughly confused.  “Known what?”

“How else would you have known about Dimka and Mazur?” he asked me.

“I only know about what happened because I was there,” I said.  I was still confused, but something about his statement caught my attention.  “Wait - Dimka?” I asked, “You almost say it like you’re close to him.”

“Well, I ought to be close to him,” Uncle Rand replied, “After all, he is my son.  Even if he is a completely ungrateful excuse for a bastard.  But most people never really did give me a fair shake.  Now, what do you mean about you were there?”

It was my turn to be wide-eyed.  “Dimitri Belikov is your … _son_?” I asked.

“Yes.  He’s the one who beat the living shit out of me and then, next thing I know, Mazur is making me pack my bags to leave the country and threatening me never to return.”

“Ava,” I called over to the barmaid, “I’d like another shot glass over here.”  To Rand, I said, “We have to talk - about some assholes we’ve _both_ had to deal with.”

\--------------------

“Let’s get out of here,” Rand said, as we finished the last of the bottle of vodka, “I know somewhere else we can have a good time.  Follow me.”  Rand had managed to polish off most of the second half, but I had a few drinks.

He led me out of the bar and into a different part of the camp.  As Randall pulled me into the section of cabins, I began to notice that we were moving towards what might’ve been considered the seedier section of the camp.  I was already several drinks in and in no position to argue.  We both had been drinking a lot.  There weren’t red lights or anything that cliché and obvious, but more and more of the wooden pendants of the passers by around this part of the camp were ridged in red. 

In a few of the doorways, dhampir women were dressed in provocative and revealing clothing.  One of them called out, “Hey gorgeous, looking for a good time tonight?”  She had obvious bite marks on on her neck.

“She’ll never be as good as I am,” Rose’s voice said to me.  I knew what I was seeing and hearing couldn’t be real, but I saw Rose standing there in one of the doorways.  “You’ll never love them like you loved me.”

I could never love anyone like I loved Rose.  “Not tonight, sweetheart,” I told the first girl - the real girl - as I kept walking and followed Randall.

“Ah, here’s the place,” he slurred out, “Just what the doctor ordered for a broken heart!”  Rand swung a doorway open and ushered me inside.  There, sitting on a couch were four dhampir girls, each more lovely than the next: a blonde, a redhead, and two brunettes.  All of them were dressed in only lingerie and wearing a pendant with a red rim.  All of them smiled as they looked up at us.

“Which one’ll it be for you, m’boy?” asked Uncle Rand, “I’ll take the others.”

Normally, I wouldn’t have even considered this and would’ve turned his idea down flat, but then I noticed _her_.  One of the girls.  She wasn’t Rose, obviously, but she would certainly help me forget.  She hard long, dark, almost-black, wavy hair, tanned skin, and larger breasts.  She looked to be around eighteen, like Rose.  She was short, though not as short as Rose.  Her eyes were hazel, instead of brown like Rose’s.  She didn’t have the noticeable bite marks a lot of the other girls had. If it was possible, her lingerie was more modest than the others’ were.

“You’ll never forget me,” Rose’s voice told me.

I shook my head to clear that thought.  “No?” Randall asked, “None of these?”

“No,” I said, “I mean - yes, one of these - not none.”  I turned to the girl.  “I’m Adrian.  What’s your name, beautiful?”

“Lyla,” she replied.  She looked down and actually blushed.

I cupped her chin with my hand and turned her face to look at me.  “Are you embarrassed, sweetheart?”  She nodded at me.

“Tell me - what do you have to be embarrassed about?” I asked her, using just a tiny bit of compulsion on her.

“I’ve never been with a man before,” Lyla replied, then her eyes and mouth went wide in surprise as she said, “I’ve never told anyone that before.  I don’t know what made me tell you.”

I sat down in a chair next to Lyla.  “What made you decide that you wanted to do this?” I asked her, motioning around the room.

“I failed my qualifier when I was a novice and had to drop out of school.  Since I didn’t even finish high school, I wasn’t left with a lot of other choices,” she replied honestly.

“Nice,” said Rose, “Taking advantage of the girl selling her body when she’s left with no other options.  Although ... it was her choice to live this lifestyle.  And it would have to happen eventually.  You could at least make it nice for her?”

“Could I kiss you, beautiful?” I asked Lyla. 

Lyla nodded, saying, “I’m not really supposed to let you, but I’d really like to kiss you.”  I leaned in and kissed her.  I planted a small chaste kiss.  Her lips were soft and sweet.  I licked my lips after the kiss.  It tasted like the same cherry lip gloss that Rose had used.

“How’s about something to make the night more exciting?” asked Randall, pulling out a bottle containing a white powder and a couple of syringes.

“What’s that?” I asked.

Randall scoffed, “Better not to ask questions, m’boy.”  He made quick work of filling the syringes and handed one to me, rolling up a sleeve and injecting himself.  “Here you go.  Shoot up.”

I considered not doing it, but then Rose was there again.  “Go ahead,” she said, “It can’t get you into any more trouble than you’re already in.”  She had a point.  And maybe the drug would make her go away.  I pulled up my sleeve and injected.  Immediately, the room became more colorful and everything spun just a little bit.

Randall handed me an eye dropper.  “Put a few drops under your tongue,” he told me, “Do it now so that you get the acid hit while the injection is still hitting you.”

I did as I was told.  The room swirled in sensation and I could suddenly see the strawberry flavor of Lyla’s lip gloss that I was tasting in the air all around me.  “You’re welcome to offer some to your ‘friend’, too,” he told me, nodding at Lyla.  I passed her the eye dropper.  She took a few drops.

“Whoah!” said Lyla, “So many colors!  Adrian, this is incredible!”  She put her arm around me.  “This feels so good!”

I didn’t ask this time and I kissed Lyla again. 

Lyla passed the eye dropper to the blonde sitting on the couch beside her, but Randall snatched the dropper back from the girl.  “No, bitch!” Randall yelled, giving the girl a punch on the face, “This is mine!  You only get to have it if I say you do!  You’ll get your high from _me_ tonight - and me only!”

The girl whimpered and clutched at her face.  Blood trickled from where her lip had split. 

“Are you going to let him do that?” asked Rose, in my ear. 

I turned towards Randall, full force of what I could manage of my compulsion in effect, and said, “You will not hit her again.  And say you’re sorry.”

Uncle Rand’s eyes instantly glazed over and he turned to the girl, saying, “I’m sorry.”  His voice sounded flat and hollow, but at least it was an apology.

Lyla turned towards me and cowered, fear plain on her face.  I pulled her closer to me and whispered in her ear, “You’re safe.  I won’t let him touch you, sweetheart.  You’re mine tonight.”  I kissed her on her cheek.  Lyla seemed to relax.

“Adrian, I’m going to leave you and your friend,” Uncle Rand said, “Ladies, come with me and I can assure you that you’ll be well-compensated for your time!” 

The other three girls followed him to the bedroom of the cabin we were in.  Lyla stared up at me, looking uncertain.

“Use her,” said Rose, standing right in front of me, clear as day, “Do everything you couldn’t do to me.  You can make her want you.”  I nodded to her.

“Is there somewhere that we could be alone?” I asked Lyla, stroking my fingers through her hair and kissing her cheek.  She nodded at me, took my hand, and stood to walk toward another cabin, pulling me along.

Lyla pulled her key out of her pocket and ushered me inside, then closed and locked the door behind me.

I put both arms around Lyla and pulled her close, kissing her deeply as I pushed her up against the wall.  She moaned, making me think that she was enjoying it.

“Compel her to want you,” Rose ordered me, “You know you want to.”

“Do you want more, Lyla?” I asked her.

Lyla looked uncertain.  I used compulsion and told her, “You can’t get enough of me, Lyla.  You want me to be your first.”

“I want you so bad, but I’m supposed to ask you about money,” Lyla said.

“I understand,” I said, “How do I pay?”

“Believe it or not,” Lyla said, “I take credit cards.”

“In that case, money is no object,” I told her, pulling out my AmEx black card from my wallet.

“Good,” she said, “because I want to do it all with you.”

\--------------------

Lyla was laying on the bed in front of me, naked and dripping wet for me.  I ran my fingers in and out of her tight, slick opening.  As my cock was twitching, I asked her, “Are you ready for me?”

“I’m not sure,” she said.

“Make her come with your tongue,” Rose told me.

“Alright, then,” I said, answering both Rose and Lyla, as I got down on the bed in front of Lyla and began licking her inner thigh, working my way towards her center.  When I was almost at her core, Rose told me, “Bite her, Adrian.  It’ll feel so good.”  I sunk my fangs into Lyla’s inner thigh, for just a moment.  She moaned with pleasure as the endorphins coursed through her.

‘That’ll cost you extra,” Lyla murmured, in a blissful haze, “but it was so worth it!”

I continued licking a path up to her wet honeypot and then let my tongue split Lyla’s folds.  I took my tongue and began licking furiously at her clit, running a finger into her. 

“Yes!  Oh, yes!  Yes, Adrian, oh, God, yes!” she yelled out as I continued to lick her.

A few moments later, Lyla’s loud moans were filling the small cabin.  I could feel Lyla’s walls clamping down on my finger.  “Are you gonna come for me, beautiful?” I asked her.

Lyla was squeezing her eyes closed, too pleasured to even answer.

“Bite her again,” Rose told me, “You know she wants it.”  I sunk my fang directly into Lyla’s clit, just as she was about to orgasm, triggering her to scream, “UNGH!  OH MY FUCKING GOD!  HOLY SHIT!  ADRIAN!” as her walls fluttered around my finger and her blood mixed with her juices on my tongue.

It was time for me to have her now.  “Are you ready _now_?” I asked her.  Lyla nodded.

I sat up and positioned myself, then thrust inside her, knowing she wasn’t lying about being a virgin when I broke Lyla’s barrier.  The tightness of her was like nothing I could imagine.

“Aagh!” she cried, pain clear in her voice and on her face.

Rose commanded me, “Compel away her pain, Adrian.  All of it.  She doesn’t need to feel it.”

“It’s okay,” I told Lyla, using more compulsion than I had all night.  More than I thought I could while drunk and high, “Everything else I do to you tonight is going to feel good and you’re going to love it.” 

I let myself slide out and back in again.  Lyla moaned, a look of pleasure on her face.  “You like that?” I asked her.

“Oh, yes, Adrian! Harder!  Faster!” she cried.

 “Fuck her harder,” Rose told me, “Fuck her like you know you want to fuck me.”

I pumped into her with all my might, holding nothing back.

“Oh, God, I love you so much,” I told her, imagining making love to Rose beneath me.

Lyla looked up at me, “What?” she asked.  But I wasn’t going to answer her.

“Compel her to love you now,” Rose said.

“You love me,” I told Lyla, compulsion coming more effortlessly.  
“I do,” she said, “I love you.”

As her climax and mine began to mount, I reached down between our bodies and began massaging her clit.  Lyla’s walls began to tighten around me.  It felt so good, like I imagined Rose would feel.

“It feels good,” said Rose, “but you know how to make it feel even better.  Don’t you, Adrian?”

“Yes.  I do,” I said. 

Again, Lyla asked me, “What?”

“Nothing,” I replied, “Lyla, I’m going to bite you while we both come.  I want to bite you hard. I want to take a lot, but I don’t want to take too much.”

“Okay,” she said, smiling, “I’d like you to bite me again.”

“Once it starts to be too much,” I told her,as I continued sliding into her tight slit, “it will start to hurt.  Just let me know when it does and I’ll stop.  If you can’t talk, just tap me on the shoulder.”

Her orgasm was approaching.  I could feel it on its way.  I bit and sucked hard.  Lyla moaned in pleasure as I felt her spasming around me, erupting in pleasure. 

I thrust again and again.  I was so close.  Lyla must’ve had more blood volume than I realized for her small size because she didn’t appear to be in any pain at all.  I sucked harder.  Lyla’s orgasm had passed, but I still hadn’t come yet.  I was still drinking from her.  I thrust hard and felt myself exploding.  I released my load inside her.  I gave one more suck, still waiting for Lyla to let me know it was hurting, feeling the end of my orgasm pass over me. 

I thrust again into her and sucked one more time, but no more blood was coming.  I pulled away.  “Lyla?” I asked.

Lyla had a look of pleasure on her face, but her breathing was shaky.  Then, she stopped.

My skin began to tingle.  It almost felt like burning.  I looked down at Lyla and her eyes were wide, but there was no life in them. 

I stood up and walked over to the dresser.  There was a mirror there.  My skin was changing, before my eyes; turning a pale, chalky white.  My eyes were turning red. I had just drunk a girl dry, but I was thirsty for more blood.  So much more blood.  Blood from a Moroi, if I could find it.  And I knew _right_ where to find a royal Moroi that would fit the bill nicely.

“Huh.  Sucking her dry turned you Strigoi, but it didn’t make _me_ go away,” said Rose, “Well.  Shit.”  Rose paused for a minute, while I watched the transformation happening in front of me in the mirror, then said, “I guess now, you’ll just have to get to the real Rose.  And probably get rid of Dimitri, too - so she can realize that _you’ve_ always been the one she wanted.”

"I guess I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **For those of you who didn't feel up to reading the chapter:** due to a combination of spirit darkness, drugs, drinking, and compelling her to feel pleasure, Adrian accidentally killed a Rose look-alike at the dhampir commune while feeding on her during sex and turned Strigoi. He sees hallucinations of Rose in his head and has vowed to make her his and take Dimitri out of the picture  
>  **For everyone:** So, was the bigger shock for this chapter that Mason and Dimitri shared a father or that Adrian turned Strigoi? Sorry if my depictions of the drugs were not so accurate. I’ve never done it, so it was all pretty much just guesswork. And what do you think about Rose being the voice in Adrian’s head, since Tatiana never died in this universe? Hopefully, this longer chapter makes up for the shorter chapter last time around and the long wait for this one.  
> Once again, I’d like to thank my fabulous beta CherryHathawayBelikova for her continued work. She has done an excellent job and her work is greatly appreciated! I’ve had enough delay on this chapter and then gave it to her as a big enough chunk that I think I actually published before she could finish proofing over it, so my apologies if I managed to let anything slip through.  
> I also just put the first chapter up on Fanfiction dot net today (as I was writing this chapter), so that’s exciting!  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> Out of all of the places in the Vampire Academy world, which ones have you been to?  
> Personally, I have lived in Michigan for most of my life, so the scenes in Last Sacrifice and Ruby Circle that happened there remind me of home. Jill’s home in Ann Arbor is the city my brother lives in and I’ve been there often, and I’ve lived all over the rest of the state (lower peninsula) at different parts of my life. My husband and I also travelled to the Pocono Mountains - where Court is - for our honeymoon.
> 
> Random after-thought: I’m super-amazed to have discovered that there are over 5,000 works on AO3 with the tag “Why Did I Write This?” (including one very confusing sexually explicit Star Wars Rey/Kylo piece I happened upon, but did not read, about non-human supernatural clowns with body parts that honk when you squeeze them!) Hahaha!


	27. Accomplishments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: mature content in the section immediately after the second break.

Dimitri and I had finished our afternoon weapons training about fifteen minutes before Adrian was due to leave.  The two of us stood in the shadows and watched with bated breath as the SUV departed for the airport.  It was a relief when he was finally gone, but neither of us wanted him to know we were watching him leave. 

Once the vehicle was safely past the gates, I turned to Dimitri.  “Is this real?  Is it really over?” I asked him.

Dimitri pulled me in for a hug, saying, “Yes, Roza.  You are safe now.  He can’t compel you anymore.”  Dimitri looked around cautiously, then leaned in and brushed his lips against mine for the briefest of kisses. 

I knew in my head that it couldn’t go further than that while we were here in the open, but my heart wanted his comfort.  I put my arm around his neck and tried to pull him in for more, but Dimitri pulled back.  “Roza,” he said, “You know we can’t.  Not here.”

“I know, Comrade.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he said, “but we only have a few more days of field experience and then we can go back to training for your trials.  Once that happens, we’ll be spending a lot more time together.  But right now, we have to get you back to Christian before his class gets out.”  Dimitri began to walk me towards the building Christian’s class was in.

“See you at Moroi defense training after dinner?” I asked.

“Not for sure,” said Dimitri, “Alberta is leading today.  I have gate duty for the first half.”

“Okay.  Well, stop by if you can.  You wouldn’t believe how close Jill is to getting the twenty laps down.  She really wants to be able to learn how to use a stake.”

“But Christian?” Dimitri asked, “Or the princess?  Do you really want them to learn how to use one?”

“I want them to be able to run like that,” I said, “And you _know_ that, even as a royal, Christian isn’t likely to have his own guardian unless he stays close to Lissa.  He should be able to know how to defend himself.”

“His best weapon is his fire.  That is what he will use to defend himself if he needs to.  And you know that Vasilisa will always have at least one guardian when she’s outside of wards.”

“ _You_ started this by getting her hopes up, you know?  If everyone else is going to learn it, of course she’s going to want to, too.  And she is the best runner out of the whole group.  She’s already gone _twenty-five_ laps without stopping.  And she’s getting better at throwing a punch!”

“It doesn’t matter, Rose.  When is she ever going to be alone with a Strigoi without a guardian?  Besides, it’s not like the princess will be carrying a stake around with her, anyways.  The only chance of her being able to actually successfully stake a Strigoi is if someone handed her a stake and pointed her at a Strigoi chained down to a chair.”

“I know.  I just hope this doesn’t instill any false confidence in her if she ever comes face to face with one of them.”

\--------------------

That evening at the Moroi defense training, Lissa and Christian both managed to throw a punch that would leave a mark.  By the end of the training session, Jill had mastered her form to throw a punch, although she still lacked power behind it.  Neither Christian nor Jill still had managed to go the twenty laps, either.  Christian was up to eighteen and Jill was up to seventeen, so I thought that they could probably both get there in the two weeks remaining before the end of the term. 

At the end of training, Dimitri walked in to see Lissa punching at my open hands.  As I pulled back my hand to show him the red mark, I made eye contact with him.  I tried - unsuccessfully, of course - to raise an eyebrow at him.  In that way that we just knew each other so well, it was almost as if he could read my mind. 

He nodded, knowingly.  Dimitri would teach them.  Dimitri would teach them all.  Lissa, Christian, and Jill would learn how to use a stake.

I wasn’t sure what I thought about that.  I just hoped that they’d never have to use one.

\--------------------

Once the door to the cabin was shut behind me, we both reached for the lock at the same time.  “Ladies first,” Dimitri said, motioning to the handle.  I locked the door and immediately began kissing him as hard as I could, first letting my lips crash into his, then nipping gently at his bottom lip, running my hands through his hair, and pulling out the tie that held his hair back. 

Since we had run to get to the cabin, we were both sweaty.  I could feel it in his hair, taste it on Dimitri’s skin, but it wasn’t unpleasant.  I knew that whatever we were doing while we were here would only lead to more sweating.

Before I even realized what was happening, Dimitri’s hands had run down to my ass, then the backs of my thighs, and he was pulling me up.  I wrapped my legs around his waist as he cradled my body in his strong arms.  Within a few seconds, he had turned and was pushing my body up against the door, grinding his hips into my center. 

“This is new,” I told him, half-moaning already.

“If you don’t approve, I could always stop,” Dimitri told me, pulling his hips away slightly.

“I didn’t say _that_ ,” I said, tightening my legs around him.  We both smiled against each other’s lips as he went back to grinding his hips against me.

Dimitri let one hand drift to the hem of my shirt and began pulling it up.  Once he had my shirt up around my neck, we had to break the kiss so that he could pull it up over my head.  When he did, I told him, “I have a surprise for you this morning.”

“Are you going to tell me?” he asked.

I gave him my best man-eating smile.  “I thought I’d let you find it on your own.”

Dimitri growled as he quickly undid my bra.  He was working one-handed because he was holding my body up, but he was actually getting my clothes off pretty well.  After all, he’d had several chances to practice getting my clothes off.

I had Dimitri’s shirt up around his neck.  He’d switched sides so that I could get it up over both of his arms, but we hadn’t broken the kiss a second time to pull it completely off.  I let my hands trail across his spine and the muscles of his back while he teased at my nipples and cupped and squeezed at my breasts with his free hand.  When he pinched my nipple particularly hard, I let out a loud cry. 

He pulled away and I pulled the shirt over his head.  “You like that, Roza?” he asked me.

“Yes,” I breathed, barely a whisper.  He pinched again, then hitched my body up higher, so that my breasts were level with his face, planting his mouth directly over one.  Dimitri flicked his tongue furiously over my nipple, showing me just how much every part of his body was muscular, causing me to arch my back and evoking a whimper I was only half-aware came from my own voice.  My fingers clung to his head, running my nails gently along his scalp and keeping his mouth firmly fastened to my erect nipple.

“God, I love you,” he murmured into my flesh, his accent so thick that I ground my hips into his exposed chest and moaned at the deliciously wet and slippery friction.

“You’re so wet!” Dimitri gasped, “How are you so wet that I can feel it through your shorts?”

I smiled as I leaned down, whispering in his ear, finishing the statement with a little lick to his earlobe, “Wouldn’t you like to know, Comrade?  That’s part of the surprise.”

Dimitri growled in excitement and set me down on the floor, immediately tugging my shorts down by the waistband to find … absolutely nothing.  I wasn’t wearing any panties.  My shorts pooled around my ankles, leaving me bare except for my feet.  Before a full second could pass, he was already roughly thrusting his finger inside me, leaving me completely breathless. 

Dimitri’s mouth came back to mine as I began to untie the knot on his shorts with one hand and caressing the quickly forming bulge inside them through their fabric with the other.  As soon as the knot was undone, I slid my hands inside the waistband of his shorts and boxers and slid them down to the floor, leaving him in the same state of undress that I was in.  I wrapped my hand around his length and began stroking him up and down, earning another of his growls.  “Roza,” he groaned, against my mouth, “no more teasing.”

I was already moaning in time with his fingers and was just about to reply, when in one breath-taking move, he slid his hands around both of my thighs and positioned us both so that my back was up against the door again with my legs wrapped around him, quickly thrusting his full length all the way into me in one breathtaking move.  I cried out as he entered me, but it was a cry of pleasure.

“Fuck, Dimitri!” I cried.

Dimitri smirked at me, “That’s what I’m doing.”  He began lifting me over and over, almost effortlessly, slamming my whole body back down onto his waiting shaft, gripping so hard on my hips that I thought there might be bruises.  Hopefully the handprint-shaped bruises on my hips would be gone before anyone beside Dimitri would see them there, but it’s lucky for me that I have dhampir healing abilities. He was murmuring my name over and over again, as he had the night of the lust charm, but I couldn’t find the ability to form coherent words, simply sighing, moaning, and even screaming, uncontrollably as his deep, hard thrusts continued to move my body around his, filling and stretching me with each penetration.

As I began to feel my orgasm getting ready to hit, Dimitri quickly lifted me and pulled me up off of him, carrying me across the room. 

“Please!” I begged him, “I want you now!”

“Not yet, Roza.  It’s too soon,” he said, laying me down on the bed, with head on the pillow.  Dimitri began licking and sucking on my nipples again, letting his hands explore my lower body.  He teased me along the outside of my folds, just grazing the surface, avoiding any of the places I really wanted him.  I was starting to feel dizzy with my desire. 

While Dimitri’s hands were exploring me, I began to do the same to him, but I wasn’t avoiding where he wanted me.  His length was slick with my wetness and my hand glided over him quickly.  I could feel fluid leaking out of his tip and I swirled my thumb across it, making Dimitri moan out. 

Dimitri’s hand left my body, gripping tightly at my wrist, holding it in place.  “No, Roza,” he said, “I want to come inside you.” 

My hand let go of him and he took control of it, placing both my arms above my head and holding them with one hand.  Dimitri pulled my body down the bed, so that my hips were at the foot of the bed and my feet were on the floor.  At the height of the tiny bed in the cabin and Dimitri’s own height, he knelt down on the floor in front of me and was at the perfect height to enter me.  Dimitri rubbed his tip against my opening, back and forth in a circular motion, grazing my bundle of nerves slowly with each pass.

“Are you going to let me please you _slowly_ now, Roza?” he asked.

I was panting.  “Uh-huh,” I breathed out. 

Dimitri slid just his tip into me, paused for a moment, then exited completely.  I moaned in pleasure when he entered.  He did it again.  And again.

Dimitri put his thumb on my little pleasure button.  He rubbed it in a circle, causing another moan, then pulled his hand away, and slid his length inside me.  He pulled all the way out again, then moved his thumb back to my button and rubbed it in a circle a few more times, moved his hand away, and slid himself into me again.  He pulled all the way out and then went back.

He repeated variations of this same torturous process over and over again, leaving me almost weeping for my release.

“Now,” Dimitri told me, “you are ready.”  He began thrusting and pumping into me in earnest, thumb never leaving my bundle of nerves, circling and circling.  His other hand reached forward and he began tugging and pinching my nipples.  As I felt my orgasm about to hit, Dimitri ground his thumb harshly into my button as his other hand squeezed fiercely on my nipple.  I screamed out his name as I felt myself shatter around him and he joined me in almost the same instant.

\---------------------

“I love you,” I murmured as he laid beside me on the bed, wrapping his arm around me.

“I love you, too, Roza,” he told me, placing a series of feather-light kisses along my face and neck.  “We have about fifteen minutes before we have to get dressed and head back,” he told me, pulling me closer, burying his face in the crook of my neck.

“In that case,” I said, “I’d like some more time to kiss you.”  I brought my lips to his and kissed him, trying to show him how amazing he was and how much love and passion I felt for him, pouring all of my emotion into that kiss.  With all that I was, I wanted Dimitri to know how I felt about him.  I never wanted him to doubt my feelings again, like he did when I was wearing Adrian’s necklace.  I wrapped my fingers in his hair and clung to him, never wanting to let go again.

 _Soon_ , I thought to myself.  In three and a half more short weeks, we could be together.  We wouldn’t have to hide anymore.  We could love each other freely.  As long as he wasn’t Lissa’s guardian with me.

Something tickled at the back of my brain, but I couldn’t put my finger on just what it was.  I knew it would come back to me eventually, but right now, I couldn’t allow myself to take this valuable time with Dimitri doing anything else other than to show him my love.

Being with him and kissing him like this, I almost felt like something inside of me was on fire, just burning with the overwhelming feelings of love and affection I had for him.  If I didn’t know better, I would swear I was almost vibrating with emotions. 

Then I realized it wasn’t me that was vibrating.  It was Dimitri’s phone.

“Phone,” I murmured against his lips, meeting his bottomless dark chocolate brown eyes.

“I’ll get it later,” he said, pulling my body closer to his.  The phone stopped buzzing.  I went back to kissing him again.

A moment later, the phone was buzzing again.

“I better answer that,” he said, pushing off of the bed and reaching to get his phone out of his shorts pocket.  “Belikov,” he answered, gruffly.  I chuckled at the commanding tone he answered the phone with.  I would’ve bet that whoever was on the other end was cowering just a little bit in response to him. 

I heard a voice on the other end, though I couldn’t make out what they were saying.  They sounded slightly frantic.

“What?!?” he replied, “Are you sure?”

There was more talking on the other end of the phone and Dimitri’s scowl deepened.

“How bad?” he asked.  The person replied with more words I couldn’t hear.

“How many?” he asked.  A moment later, he replied with, “I see.”

“No,” he said, “I know it’s not, but it can’t be helped.  Thank you for telling me.” 

Dimitri hung up the phone without any further words, not even so much as a goodbye.  The look in his eyes told me something was wrong, but he didn’t say anything.  He kissed me on the forehead and told me, “We better get dressed.  I have to head to Guardian Petrov’s office.”

I put an arm around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss on the lips.  He didn’t fight it, but he ended it quickly.  “It’s urgent, Roza.  We have to go.”

We both got dressed again and we ran back to the guardian offices.  Dimitri told me, “I don’t know if we’ll still be meeting for training later.  I’ll be in touch to let you know the schedule.”

Where we were, there was no way that we could kiss or hold each other, so instead, Dimitri took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, then said goodbye and went inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Mothers’ Day, everyone! I know that while it can be a wonderful day for those of us who are moms or have a mom to honor, it can also be a little bittersweet (or even just plain old bitter) for those who either lost someone or can’t become a mother, so hopefully, this chapter is a nice gift for all of you out there. The next one is about half-way written and I’m planning to try to get it to my beta a little more quickly (thanks again to CherryHathawayBelikova for her continued work!) and post it on/about May 25/26.  
> I hope everyone enjoyed the nice little chunk of lemony goodness in this chapter. Let me know what your thoughts are on how things are progressing.  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> Have you ever had to train for something really hard (like the Moroi have been in their defense training so that they can learn to wield a stake) and if so, what lengths were you willing to go to in order to accomplish your goals? Did you succeed?  
> For me, I am not the most athletic person ever, which is a really difficult given that I’m married to a human American version of Dimitri. One of the places I used to work had a wellness competition for a 5K run that they were sponsoring. In the competition, if you beat the CFO’s race time (a rather portly sedentary man in his late fifties) in the 5K, you could get a free t-shirt and a $20 gift card. I trained like I never had before. I spent 6 weeks running after work with one of my co-workers. In the end, the CFO had secretly been training daily with our wellness coordinator and beat me by more than 10 minutes, but in the end, I managed to run the entire distance and had a nice medal to show for it. (Meanwhile, my athletic husband joked when he saw my time, “Honey, are you sure you were _running_?”) Five years later, I finally beat the CFO, though, and I’ve managed to do at least one 5K every year since then!


	28. Preparing for the Inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content at the end of the last section. Read responsibly.

**Dimitri’s POV:**

Once I entered the guardian building, I was immediately ushered into the meeting room.  The last time I’d been in this room was after the academy was attacked.  This time, it was both further away and much, much closer.  I didn’t have all of the details yet, but there had been a Strigoi attack in the dhampir commune where Adrian Ivashkov had been sent.

And then there was Rose.  Guardian Petrov had asked me not to tell Rose about the attack on the commune.  I suspected it was more than just Rose’s previous closeness to Adrian that had made her ask that.

Once the other guardians arrived in the room, Guardian Petrov began.  “Good morning everyone,” she said, “Some of you know part of why this meeting was called this morning.  Others are going to have a very unpleasant surprise in store for you.  Guardian Smith, could you please dim the lights?”

Guardian Smith walked over and turned off the lights as a computer projector fired up and broadcast a grizzly image across the screen in front of us.  In it was the dead body of a girl with long, dark hair, laying naked in a bed with bite marks on her neck and thigh.  “This is Lyla Simmons,” Alberta continued, “Some of you may remember her from when she was a junior novice here last year.  Ms. Simmons failed her qualifier at the end of the year and went to live with her mother in a camp in northern Michigan.  Lyla was killed by Adrian Ivashkov yesterday.  We believe it happened around 3:00 AM.  You’ll notice how similar she looks to Novice Hathaway.  We believe, as you will later see, that this was a targeted kill because of her appearance.  It appears that Ivashkov had sex with her and then drained her of blood.  From the appearance of her bites, Ivashkov was still Moroi when he drank from her.  After draining Ms. Simmons, Ivashkov went on a killing spree around the camp.  In the process, he killed all six visiting Moroi on premises, which were all from royal families, and four other female dhampirs.  We found a small dhampir child with a broken neck near the wards of the camp.  There was a stake placed in the wards with the child’s fingerprints on it. We believe that once he had his fill of blood, Ivashkov found the young boy, compelled him to stake the wards, and then killed him.”

“We have reason to believe,” she said, “that Ivashkov is going to try to come to St. Vladimir’s and gain entry, with Princess Dragomir and Rose Hathaway being the intended targets.  More guardians from Court will be on their way shortly.  Due to the fear of spreading a panic about the risk it would put on the princess, and the nature of Ivashkov’s relationship with the queen, it is imperative that this information _does not_ leave this room.”

Adrian Ivashkov.  Who would’ve thought he would willingly become Strigoi?  All the hours of Moroi defense training we’d gone through with him meant that he was even better prepared to be a ruthless killing machine than most young Strigoi.  Not to mention that he had feasted on six royal Moroi and four dhampirs before he compelled a dhampir child to break the wards for him.  The more Moroi and dhampir blood a Strigoi consumed, the stronger they would be.  Royals, especially those in the Strigoi’s bloodline, only added to the strength that they received.  The fact that he had slaughtered my father - his uncle - meant that Adrian would be nearly unstoppable. 

This was only made worse by the fact that Adrian had known so much about how Strigoi had penetrated the wards here at St. Vladimir’s before - and had already proved that he could penetrate the wards at the commune when he left.

Guardian Petrov had stopped the projector and had someone turn the lights back on.  She had begun doling out additional assignments and passed out a sheet of paper with additional postings scheduled for the next two and a half weeks.  Once she was done, she called me over to her computer, drawing me out of my own thoughts. She clicked a button and another picture appeared on the screen.  “This note,” she continued, “was left at the scene with Ms. Simmons’ body.” 

The note said:

**_Rose,_ **

**_I’m longing for the day when I can see you and Lissa again.  I’m hoping your blood and your body are both as great as I remember._ **

**_I might have to get rid of the boring, uptight Russian first, though.  I won’t share you once I Awaken you._ **

**_You’re mine, Rose.  Forever._ **

**_-A_ **

**_P.S. In case anyone at St. Vlad’s is reading this, hopefully you got the reference to the fact that Belikov is getting physical with Rose in more ways than just fighting.  I’d suggest checking his dirty laundry for her DNA._ **

I sat in shock as I read and re-read the note, more because of the first section than the last. 

“I’m sure you can see why I didn’t share this note with the rest of the group, given his last line,” said Guardian Petrov, “but you needed to know.  Although Rose is certainly at greater risk, both the princess and Rose are in danger.”

“I understand,” I said, feeling my frown deepening.

“You can’t tell Rose or Vasilisa any of this, Dimitri.  It would only serve to frighten them.  The wards are the best defense we have and we’ve stepped up the number of guardians here.  The princess is going to have two personal guards with her at all times until she leaves for graduation, in addition to giving Castile and Rose each a real stake to carry with them.  Rose has trained well and I’m confident that she can handle an average Strigoi, but this is anything but average.  I’m loathe to see her go through what she went through after Spokane again, though.  Rose can’t be told the real reason, but she needs to be prepared, just in case.”

“I understand,” I said, “I’ll train her harder.  This is more than just about getting a high score in her final trials or getting a Blood Master ranking.  This is about survival.  You know that I won’t let her down.”

“Very good, Dimitri,” she said, “I understand that you made a bargain with the Moroi in the defense training to teach them how to use a stake once if they could each demonstrate the necessary strength and speed.”  It wasn’t a question.  
“Yes, Guardian Petrov,” I replied.

“I’d like to see them all get that far,” she said, “and I think you should give them more than just one time practicing with the stakes before they leave campus.”  I nodded.  After a brief pause, she added, “At conclusion of the training, I’d like for us to gift each of them with their own stake.  Almost all of them have been close to Ivashkov and Rose and could be potential targets.”

I took a deep breath.  I wasn’t enthusiastic about each of these Moroi having a stake, especially when Ozera would be so much more effective with fire, but I also knew that a stake was a weapon that Adrian couldn’t use against them directly.  “Yes, place the order,” I told her.

Finally, placing a hand on my shoulder, Guardian Petrov gave me a knowing, almost motherly, look. “I’ll do what I can to bury the part at the bottom of this note, but if you have anything to hide, I suggest you make it disappear before someone comes to check.  You have four hours.  I’ll see to it that Rose knows you’re not going to be training with her this morning.”

“Yes, Guardian Petrov,” I said, preparing to leave, certain I had half a dozen pairs of underwear that needed to be washed before someone checked them for evidence, including the pair I was wearing.

“And Dimitri,” she called out to me, motioning for me to come closer.

“Yes,” I said, coming back within distance.

Guardian Petrov lowered her voice just above a whisper.  “Rose is like a daughter to me.  I’ve seen how much you both care for each other, and she’s over eighteen now.  I won’t get in the way of your relationship, and you both deserve to love each other.  But I won’t see either of you do something that will sully either of your reputations.  If you can’t keep it platonic until after graduation, make sure you cover your tracks _well_.  Ivashkov knew something and I’m sure he isn’t the only one.  You’ve been careless.  Don’t get caught.”

“Yes, Guardian Petrov,” I told her, then left to go back to my apartment.

I gathered up all of my laundry and prepared to carry it down to be washed.  Despite the wonderful smell of Rose’s shampoo that lingered on my pillow, I dragged it off of my pillow and the sheets off of my bed to wash them, as well. 

Two and a half weeks.  Just two and a half weeks and we would be free to love each other out in the open.  Three weeks and we would be at Court - and probably be able to spend the night in each other’s arms.  I was so close to being free to love my Roza the way that I wanted.  But now, being caught could still cost us everything.  And the threat loomed, even more than it had the night we first made love, when she was still seventeen.  I took one last sniff of the pillow before stuffing all of my clothes in the washer with the detergent and pressing the start button.  I just had to pray that there would be other times when I could lay beside her in the future.

 

-=o0&0o=-

**Rose’s POV:**

Ever since the morning of the meeting in Alberta’s office, Dimitri had been acting strange. He’d been training me extra-hard and he’d actually cut out some of our usual alone-time at the cabin.  He’d also added some of the extra training sessions that had gotten cut when we started the field experience back in, even though we were still three days from being done with field experience.  I knew that this would be hard on him, too, because of all the beatings he’d taken from the novices, but he always brushed it off like it was unimportant.  I could tell from the way he was acting that he’d been hiding something, but every time I asked him about it, he would just say it was ‘official guardian business’ that I couldn’t be informed about. 

The queen had also sent two guardians from Court to guard Lissa.  Dimitri had said that it was a delayed reaction to the attack on campus, but I wasn’t sure that she didn’t have other plans.  It wouldn’t be the first time that Tatiana had tried to manipulate something about Lissa’s life for her purposes.  Even with Eddie there doing his field experience, at least one of the two new guardians were posted with her at all times, even during classes.  One of them was outside her room

Surprisingly, Dimitri had also begun training the Moroi on how to use a stake.  It was a little sooner than expected, but they had all completed the laps and had each landed a punch that was hard enough. 

The day that their stake training began, the Moroi defense training group entered the room where the junior novices were training.  There were a few stares from the novices as we all entered the novice training gym.  Along the wall, staking dummies were set up.  A table full of stakes was set out at the far end of the room.  It was clear that they were all going to learn together.

Dimitri joined the juniors’ instructor at the front of the room as the Moroi positioned themselves between the junior novices.  The instructor, a guardian named Ben Andrewes, who was relatively new to campus - he had arrived just after the attack last month - asked the room as he held up one of the stakes, “Can anyone tell me what this is?”

A few of the juniors giggled, but the Moroi were all too eager to take part in the training and all of them raised their hands to answer his question. 

“Yes,” he said, “Princess Dragomir?”

“It’s a stake,” Lissa said.

“Be more specific, please,” Ben inquired.

“It’s a _silver_ stake?” she asked, “I’m not sure what you mean, exactly.”  A few of the novices giggled, causing Lissa to frown a little.

Ben asked, “What’s so special about this stake?  What makes it different from a silver knife - or _any_ other piece of silver?”

Lissa still didn’t get it.  A biting comment was on the tip of her tongue, but I knew that wouldn’t help her.  I could feel that spirit darkness was hitting Lissa a little and she was taking it just a bit too personally, so reached into the bond and took the opportunity to syphon off just the teensiest bit of it from her.

“I don’t know,” she said, sounding much more congenial than she would’ve a few moments ago, “What makes it special?”

Ben moved on to one of the novices.  “Novice Johnson, can you tell me what makes it special?”

Novice Johnson - Sam - was actually a bit of a kiss-ass, so I wasn’t surprised that Ben would call on him.  He was probably the guy who was always the one raising his hand in class.  “It’s charmed with Moroi magic, sir,” Sam replied.

“Which magic?” asked Ben.

“All of them,” said Sam. 

Lissa raised her hand.  “Yes, Princess?” asked Ben, pointing to Lissa.

“Not actually all of them,” she said, pointedly, “It’s not charmed with Spirit.”

I heard one of the novices in the back of the room whispering, “That’s just a specialization that someone made up to hide the fact that she didn’t really specialize in anything.”  Lissa must’ve heard it, too, because I could feel the anger radiating off of her through the bond.

Ben, the instructor,  said, diplomatically, “It doesn’t have to be charmed with spirit.  Charming it with the other four elements is enough to give the stake the power - to do what?” He looked around the room.

Christian raised his hand.  “Yes, you … your name is?” asked Ben, pointing at Christian. 

“Christian Ozera.  The power to end a Strigoi,” Christian said.

“End?” Ben inquired.

Christian said, conclusively, “To put them out of commission.  Permanently.  To take their soulless, unnatural existence and bring it to its rightful end.”  Lissa could tell, even more than I could, that Christian was getting upset - both because she knew him better than I did and because she could see his aura.  I could feel it coming through the bond.

Ben, wanting to be the peacemaker, said, “Very good, Mr. Ozera.  And how do we go about doing that?”  He asked Christian the question.

“By putting it through their cold, dead hearts,” Christian said, gruff and absolute.

Ben nodded.  “Could someone tell me where the heart is?  Or show me on one of the dummies?” he asked, looking around the rest of the room.  Again, only the Moroi were eager to raise their hands.  Through the bond, Lissa sent me a mental picture of where she thought that the heart was, but it was in the wrong place.  I wordlessly shook my head, making eye contact with her.  She lowered her hand.

“Yes?” Ben asked, pointing to Jill.

Jill had told us that she had wanted to be a doctor and she had been studying really hard in her biology class.  I was hopeful that she would get this right.  “Is it here?” she asked, putting her hand squarely on the top of the left pec, three inches from where the heart would be.  Several of the novices laughed, not even trying to hide it.

Ben got angry, “That’s _enough_ from you all,” he said, looking pointedly out at those who were laughing at Jill.  “If you can’t be helpful, keep it to yourself.”  I liked this guy already.

One of the few female novices at the back of the room, a girl by the name of Abby McLean, timidly raised her hand.  “Yes, Ms. McLean?” Ben asked, pointing at her.  The girl stepped forward and, without hesitation, correctly identified the position of the heart on the dummy - dead center of the chest, tilted slightly to the left.

“Very good, Ms. McLean,” said Ben, “What’s in the way of the heart there?”

“The sternum,” she said, then added, “Oh, and the ribs, too, maybe?”

“What about if you are staking through the back?” Ben asked.

“The ribs or the spine, I guess,” Abby said.

“So, which is easier to get through?  The front or the back?” Ben asked, “Somebody else.”

I interjected without even realizing it - no raised hand or anything.  “Definitely the front,” I said.

“Novice Hathaway,” Ben said, “You would know, wouldn’t you?  I believe at least one of your Strigoi kills was a stake through the back, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” I said, sub-consciously scratching at my _molnija_ and _zvezda_ on the back of my neck.

“Correct,” he said, “Most of you will never even practice staking in the back.  Hathaway here got very lucky and is one of the more advanced students.  I can’t say the same for the rest of you.  Staking in the back is tricky, at best, and at worst it will likely get you killed.  Of all the ways to stake a Strigoi, it’s the most difficult one.  You should only view it as a last resort option if nothing else will work.”

Lissa raised her hand.  “Yes, Princess Dragomir?” Ben asked.

“Guardian Andrewes, if that’s the hardest way to stake, what’s the easiest one?” Lissa asked.

“The easiest way is to go up under the ribs - but it also requires the most depth of the stake and you still have to push with a lot of force to get it there.  That’s the method I’ll be showing you today,” he said, “And then after I’ve demonstrated, you’ll be divided up into groups of five and each get a turn to try.”

-=o0&0o=-

Surprisingly, the guardians had agreed to let the Moroi join for more than one training session with the stakes.  After several attempts to stake, Lissa and Christian each managed to put a stake through the dummy’s heart.  It had taken more than an hour for each of them to pierce the heart correctly.  Jill was still working on it, but I had confidence that she’d get there.

Today was my last day of field experience.  Once the next Moroi training session was over, my field experience would end and I’d get to go back to regular training sessions and sleeping in my own room again.  I was looking forward to sleeping in a real bed again, and it hadn’t escaped my notice that it would also mean more time with Dimitri.

Dimitri and I didn’t have any real problems hiding things when we were both in public, but our alone time was becoming scarce.  With no ability to express our feelings with words, we’d had so many times when the unspoken words between us would come through in our eyes or in the subtleties of our actions.

“Match,” Dimitri said, panting as he positioned his hands over my heart for the kill shot, his body laying over the top of mine.  As I looked into his eyes, I saw fire underneath the more obvious fatigue, adrenaline, and victory of the fight. 

We weren’t alone in the gym, as a few other guardians and novices were now starting to trickle back in because of the field experience coming to a close.  As Dimitri moved his hand off of my heart, I saw his eyes sweep the room to see who else was looking and then, just for a moment, his palm grazed my breast on its way back.  I tried not to react to his hand on my nipple, but I couldn’t completely stop the sharp intake of breath coming from me. 

Dimitri stood and offered me his hand to stand from where I was laying. 

As soon as I was upright, he leaned close and whispered to me, “I couldn’t resist touching you, Roza.” 

I had to fight back the moan that wanted to come out.  I replied back, “Storage room?”

He nodded and looked at his watch, saying, “We’ll have more time tomorrow, but we only have fifteen minutes right now.”

I winked at him and said, “I think that’s enough time, Comrade.”

Dimitri replied back, louder, so that the room could hear him, “Rose, why don’t you come with me to pick out some weights we can use for our next session from the storage room?”

“Sure,” I said, following him to the storage room.

As soon as we entered the room, Dimitri pinned me against the door (which opened inwards) and his mouth crashed into mine.  Lips, teeth, and tongue clashed in a battle for dominance as one of his hands came around my waist and he ran the other through my hair, pulling me tight up against him.  My arms wrapped around him, one clutching his muscular shoulder blade, and the other squeezing his ass, pulling his body towards mine.  I could already feel the hardness starting to form against my hips.

When Dimitri’s mouth began to move along my cheek and then down my jaw and towards my collarbone, I told him, “Comrade, I’ve missed you so much!“

“I haven’t gone anywhere, Roza,” he murmured against my skin, his mouth down to my cleavage as the hand that had been on my waist pushed my tank top up above my bra, hand cupping and kneading my breast along the way.

“I know,” I said, letting my hand move from his ass to rub against the bulge in his shorts, “and my brain tells me that the really important thing is just spending time together and being able to see you and knowing that we love each other.  But my body tells me that I’ve missed being close to you, like this.”

“I feel the same way, Roza,” Dimitri said as he kissed at my nipple through my sports bra, “I know that I could be happy for the rest of my life just knowing that you love me the way that I love you.  I just want to be close to you and show you how much I love you, though.”

Dimitri took the cups of my sports bra and pulled them down, leaving both breasts fully exposed, then began licking at the nipple he’d been kissing through the fabric a moment ago.

“Roza,” he breathed against my skin, rolling the ‘R’ and letting me feel the vibrations of his mouth, “We could wait until tomorrow.  I want to do this right.  I don’t think we have enough time.”

His eyes met mine and I gave him my man-eating smile. “Challenge accepted, Comrade.” 

I pushed him down onto the pile of floor mats behind him and turned to quickly brace the door, then dropped my shorts and underwear to the floor, stepping out of them.  I pulled his shorts and boxers off, just far enough to reveal his erection, standing taller than the rest of him.  There were some thick paper envelopes in his pocket, so I was careful not to let them fall out.  Amusement and excitement danced in his eyes as Dimitri watched me straddle his body and position him at my opening. 

I sat down fully, sinking his length all of the way inside me, trying to keep from moaning out loud. Dimitri’s hands went to both of my breasts and began pinching and tugging on my nipples as I started to move up and down along him, quickly moving to a very fast pace.

“I love you so much, Roza,” he told me as his eyes roamed over my whole body, “I love you like I’ve never loved anyone before.  I love everything about you.”

“I love you, too, Dimitri,” I said, panting as I picked up the pace even more to a nearly impossible speed, “There’ll never be anyone else for me.  You’re all I’ll ever want, all I’ll ever need.  You’re it.”

I could see in Dimitri’s eyes that he was already getting close to the edge of climaxing.  “You can’t imagine how many times I dreamed of being able to tell you these things.  How many times I yearned to express my feelings for you.  In my dreams, I would imagine kissing you or making love to you.  You have no idea how many times before we were together that I woke up early because I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide my excitement in the state I’d wake up in before our morning training.  I still dream of you that way, Roza.  Every morning, I wake up with _this_ , telling me how much it needs you and only you.” 

On the word ‘this’, Dimitri had used his muscles to thrust his length into me.  I moaned loudly and squeezed against him.

“Roza,” he told me, gasping out as I pumped him with my body, “my heart loves you.  My soul loves you.  And my body loves you.” 

As soon as Dimitri’s sentence was finished, he thrust his hips up, leaned his head back, squeezed his eyes shut tight, and groaned as he tumbled over the edge, his release triggering my own as I felt my body follow him off that cliff.  As I felt my climax calming down, I told him, “Every part of me loves every part of you.  I never want to be apart again.”

“Nor do I,” Dimitri told me, “I’m yours, Roza.  Forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What does everyone think of the new chapter? I hope no one has a problem with my change in the canon Vampire Academy definition of where the heart is. After taking my CPR certification, it always bothered me that Mead got that wrong. It’s my first and only real intentional deviation from the original text as far as stated facts go.  
> P.S. For those of you that read chapter 25 on or before May 27, 2019, the update to chapter 25 with the missing scene has been added!  
> Here’s my new question of the week:  
> Now that you’ve been reading this story for a while, have you noticed some of the little things I have done with intentional repetition or twists on how the original story played out before? In chapter 18 where I had Dimitri cut the necklace, I ended about every other paragraph with, “But this was Roza,” and now here in this chapter, I did sort of a backwards twist on the end of Adrian’s note in the final line. In this chapter, I also did a nice sort of repeat of Dimitri’s first lessons he gave Rose with the stake, mirrored with the Moroi. In almost everything I’ve written with Romitri, there’s almost always some mention to pepperoni pizza like in Blood Promise or hot chocolate like in Frostbite. Any others you’ve noticed?  
> P.S. Bonus question: What do you think those envelopes in Dimitri’s pocket were?


	29. Revealing That Which Is Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads-up: there are some slightly vulgar sexual references in the letter from Adrian (bold italic font)

As I woke that morning, my nervous excitement got the best of me so much that I let out a giddy squeal.  It was so unlike me to be this girly, but I couldn’t help it. After the day was over, I would have completed the field experience.  Other than the incident during the first week when I saw Mason, my field experience record was nearly flawless - including, although quite unintentional, inflicting broken bones to a school guardian who was a Blood Master Level seven.  That  _ had  _ to bode well for my final assignment by the guardian council.  

“What’s got the ants in  _ your  _ pants today?” mumbled Christian as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and rolled over to pull the blanket over his head.

“I’m just excited,” I said, “Today’s my last day of field experience.”

“So eager to be rid of me?” he asked, pulling back the blanket to look at me.

I couldn’t help but laugh.  “Sparky, do you really think I won’t see you around?  Considering Lissa’s thoughts are in my head twenty-four seven?”

Christian got surprisingly smug as he said, “Well, I suppose I am a pretty memorable lover …”

“Euw,” I said, “No!  Yuck! Visions of your white pasty ass will leave me emotionally scarred for the rest of my life.  But you should know: Liss loves you. You two are meant to be. As long as you’re with her and she’s with me, you’re a part of my life.”

Christian sat up and smiled genuinely. “Rose, I’ve never had a sister, but if I did, I would be happy if she were just like you.  So, what gives, then? Why are you so happy to be done with field experience?”

“Well,” I said, “Other than that first week with Stan, I’ve sort of crushed this.  I’m sure to get placed with Lissa now.”

“And …?” asked Christian, “I mean, I kind of sense that isn’t the only thing, considering you’ve pretty much always thought you were a shoe-in for that.”

I wasn’t sure if I could tell Christian about Dimitri.  I felt like he knew a little bit. Did I know some of his own secrets?  Thanks to the bond, I knew more about him than I ever wanted to - more than I ever  _ should  _ know.  Would I keep his secrets?  Even if I didn’t respect him, I would for Lissa’s sake, but he was becoming a friend, too; one I could trust with my life.  I would keep his secrets until the day I died. 

But did I trust him to keep mine?

“I’m not really sure that’s something I’m ready to talk about yet, Christian,” I told him.

Christian eyed me shrewdly.  “It’s Belikov, isn’t it?” he asked.

I tried to play dumb.  “Huh?”

“Don’t act stupid with me Rose.  I know something’s going on. Even if I didn’t wake up to hear you moaning the dude’s name in your sleep - a couple of times over the past few weeks, by the way - I’d still know something was up.  The way he was acting about the whole necklace thing was a little funny. Besides, it’s not normal for a girl to go out for an early morning run with lip gloss on, her hair down, a black lace thong, and a matching push-up bra - or to come back from that run an hour later with no more lip gloss on and no bra.”

I raised an eyebrow, all pretense evaporating at my surprise as I asked, “How did you know I was wearing a thong and a push-up bra?”

“I saw what you grabbed out of your bag before you left to get changed in the morning.”

“Okay, but why do you think that I  _ wasn’t  _ wearing a bra when I came back?”

“Rose, I love Liss with all my heart, and I might think of you sort of like a sister, but I’m still a guy.  I see things,” Christian said, looking like he dared me to challenge him.

“Okay, so I did,” I admitted, “You’re not going to tell anyone - are you?”

“Rose, I just don’t want to see you get hurt,” he said, “The dude’s way older than you.  And your teacher. He could be taking advantage.”

“It’s nice to know that you care, Sparky.  But it’s not like that,” I assured him, “If anything, I’m the one who came on to him.  And we love each other.”

“My aunt Tasha said the same thing about him, you know?  She said that he was going to be her guardian and that once he was her guardian, she wanted to marry him and have his children someday.”

“But he turned her down, though.” I said, “Once we are all at Court, we’re planning to come forward with our relationship.”   
“The first time,” said Christian, “but she told me last night that the transfer paperwork went through.  He’ll be her guardian in three weeks, Rose. He’s leaving you for her.”

I winced.  Yuri had told me, but with everything else that had happened, it had somehow slipped my mind.  “I don’t think it’s like that for him,” I told Christian, “but I’ll ask him about it. I’d better go get ready and get to running, though.”

“Sure,” said Christian, “Get ready for ‘running’.” He used air quotes around the word ‘running’.

“Go back to bed, Lazybones,” I told him, tossing my pillow at him.  Christian grabbed the pillow and snuggled it, laying back down, as I got up to head to the bathroom.

-=o0&0o=-

“Hi Comrade,” I told Dimitri, as I met him standing outside of Christian’s dorm.

“Are you ready to run, Rose?” he asked me.  I nodded and he turned, then we both set off a jog.

“Comrade,” I told him, once we were out of earshot of the dorm, “there’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“What’s that?” he asked me, curiously.

“When I woke up this morning, Christian told me he knows something is going on with us.”  Dimitri’s eyes widened. “I guess it’s hard not to pick up some things when you live with someone for six days a week.”

“Is this going to be a problem?” he asked me, “I thought we were almost in the clear.  We only have two weeks left.”

“No, it’s not that,” I said, “but he was worried about me.”

“It’s good that you have friends that care about you, Roza,” Dimitri said, “It’s important.”

“He mentioned Tasha,” I said, “And you getting married and getting physical with her once you’re assigned as her guardian.  She can’t wait to get in your pants, Comrade. And I can’t say that I blame her for wanting that.”

“You know that I only want to be with you, Roza.  And you know that I turned her down when she asked me to be her guardian,” Dimitri told me.

I stopped running and gasped in surprise.  “You don’t know - do you?” I asked.

“Know what?” he asked, stopping and turning to face me.

“Yuri told me, weeks ago when I was still under Adrian’s charm, that your request to be assigned to someone at Court was granted.  And that you were requested to serve as personal guardian at the Court residence of Tasha Ozera. If she has anything to say about it, she’ll have you fucking her every morning, noon, and night by Independence Day.”

“This is all just a huge misunderstanding,” said Dimitri, “I’ll talk to guardian headquarters today and get this all sorted out soon.  Come on, let’s get to that cabin and I’ll show you just who the woman I want to  _ trakhnut’ _ every morning, noon, and night is.”

I grinned.  “Dimitri did you just say what I think you said?”

“I might’ve,” he said, giving me a sly grin.

“In that case, I’d like to  _ trakhnut’  _ you, too.”  

_ Yes!  My first Russian swear-word! _

-=o0&0o=-

As Dimitri and I lay in each other’s arms on the tiny bed in the cabin, I found it difficult to let go.  I kissed him as hard as I could, pulling his face to mine as I clutched at the back of his head. Dimitri’s hand was tracing small circles on my bare hip.  

Against my lips, he said, “Today is your last day of field experience,  _ moy solnyshko _ .  We’ve got to get you back before you’re on duty.”

I grumbled.  “Fine,” I said, tossing the blankets aside and sitting up.  I grabbed my clothes from the various places on the floor and picked up Dimitri’s shorts.  When I tossed the shorts to him, an envelope fell out of the pocket. 

As he thrust a leg into the shorts, I bent down to pick it up.  “What’s this?” I said. It was a letter addressed to me. It had been opened and was crumpled.

Dimitri cringed.  He blew out a deep breath and closed his eyes.  “I can tell you’re struggling with what to say to me, Comrade, so why don’t you just start with the truth?”

“Just open it, Roza,” Dimitri growled out, “Since I know you’re going to, anyways.”

It was postmarked in Missoula with yesterday’s date on it.

 

**_My sweet little dhampir,_ **

**_As soon as you’re outside the wards, I will make you mine.  You know I can. I am counting the hours._ **

**_I still can’t decide if I’m going to kill you or Awaken you.  Perhaps, I will have a go at your sweet little body before I choose, though I’m guessing you’re not the virgin you once were anymore, no thanks to that Russian dolt.  It doesn’t matter, though. My cock is still throbbing for you - even more now than it was that night in the dorm lounge when you stroked me._ **

**_You can’t imagine how intense physical pleasure can be until you’re Awakened like I have been.  Don’t think you’d enjoy being in my bed? I’m sure I could find a_ ** **_compelling_ ** **_reason for you to go along with it._ **

**_Maybe I could even get Lissa to help.  I’ve always wanted a threesome. And I bet sucking the last Dragomir dry right after she sucked me - not dry - could be pretty exciting._ **

**_I can’t wait to see you again.  It won’t be long now._ **

**_-A_ **

 

“What the  _ fuck _ ?” I asked as I finished reading the letter, my voice going up half an octave, “What is this?”

Dimitri’s voice got low and gravelly as he admitted, “The day after he left, Adrian became a Strigoi.  He went on a killing spree in the dhampir commune he was staying at before he broke out of their wards.  There’s evidence to suggest that he turned by choice. He left a note for you at the scene. He’s been writing you those letters every day since then.  Sometimes he writes the letters to Lissa, too.”

“But,” I said, still in shock, “Seriously,  _ WHAT  _ the  _ FUCK _ ?  Why didn’t you  _ tell  _ me?!?”

“I didn’t want to hide this from you, but I was given a direct order not to tell you or Lissa.  Guardian Petrov thought it would be best for no one to find out until after graduation. She didn’t want anything to get in the way of you or Lissa’s education.  The school guardians have been intercepting the letters from him each morning.”

“How could you hide this from me?” I asked, nearly shrieking in anger, “You say that you love me and then you keep something like this from me!”

“I wanted to, Roza, but I also wanted to do my duty,” he told me, “And - more importantly - I wanted to keep you safe.  More than anything else.”

“That’s sort of oddly sweet, Comrade, but you know that I’d want to be a part of the fight.  I do better when I can defend myself,” I said, “And after everything we’ve been through, don’t you think I’d rather not have anymore unexpected surprises?”

“I’d hoped you’d never have to find out about this,” Dimitri said, jutting out his chin.

“How would I never have to find out about it?”

“Since he is a single lone Strigoi and the threat to the last Dragomir is very real, the guardian council has been taking action to stop him.  There’ve been numerous missions to try to hunt him down. He has evaded them - so far - but he isn’t a skilled strategist and will be caught and killed.”

“What if he gets past the wards?” I asked.

“He would never get to you before someone knew he was here,” Dimitri said, full of bluster, “especially since he is working alone.  Since the attack in March, the wards are reinforced daily and patrolled every three hours.”

I thought for a moment.  “ _ That’s _ why you’ve been giving me all of this extra training the past few weeks!” I exclaimed, “And why we haven’t had time alone together every day.  And why we’ve stepped up the Moroi defense training - because they were all Adrian’s friends!”

“It is,” he admitted, “I wanted you to be prepared for anything.  Nothing means more to me than keeping you safe. I need you to be ready.”

It was like a switch suddenly flipped in me.  I finished dressing quickly and resolutely. “Let’s get out there, then, Comrade,” I told him, “I need to learn to kick some Strigoi Ivashkov ass.”

-=o0&0o=-

When I arrived back at Christian’s room, he met me at the door.  “C’mon, Rose, no time to change,” he said, grabbing me by the shoulders and wheeling me around towards the way I came from and handing me my bag, “You can change on the plane.”

“What?” I asked, “Where are we going?”

“Air strip,” he said, “Unscheduled trip.  Lissa and I are going to Court; the queen wants to see us about something.  I was just told. You and Eddie are supposed to come along, just like when .”

I was stunned for a moment, knowing that Adrian was out there.  “They’re letting us leave the wards?” I asked.

“Flying us straight from school to Court and flying back tonight,” he said, “We won’t be out of the wards.”

-=o0&0o=-

Dimitri and Yuri had joined us at the airstrip and had a seat at the back of the plane.  Just before we got seated, he pulled me aside. 

“Just so you know,” he told me in a low tone, “This trip was completely unplanned until after you and I talked this morning.  If Adrian is trying to hunt you down, he’ll be in Montana. There shouldn’t be a safer place than Court for you or Vasilisa to be today.”

Eddie and I were sitting in the seats right beside Lissa and Christian.  Before we sat down, Yuri handed each of us a real stake, saying to me, “Here goes, kiddo.  You’re close enough to the big time now that we’re giving you the real thing.”

As the plane began to take off, I prepared for the headache and ghosts that I’d experienced the last time I flew.  At first, I could easily tolerate it. For about ten to fifteen minutes, I was fine. The pressure crept in more gradually than it had the last time and I didn’t see the same swirling shapes right away.  Even once it did start to hurt, it was manageable and I knew what to expect. 

But then, the pain and pressure continued building until it became undeniable.  I began to feel like my head was trapped in a gigantic vice. Many faces began to appear, some of those I had known for years who had died, others I had never seen before.  The pain began to become unbearable. I clutched the sides of my head in pain, squeezing my eyes tightly shut and putting my head between my knees. I heard a yell and realized belatedly that it came from me.

After a few moments, the world began to grow dim.  Part of me was thinking,  _ Not again _ , while another part of me was longing for the pain to stop, knowing that I at least wouldn’t perceive it while I was unconscious.

-=o0&0o=-

When I woke, I was with Dimitri on the plane and it was empty.  He was gently stroking my still-pounding forehead and I was sitting in his lap.  He looked both ways to make sure we were still alone and then kissed me.

“Roza, I was so worried about you,” he told me, “Is this going to happen every time you exit the wards?”

“I don’t know,” I told him, “It was better at first, this time.”   
“I noticed that,” he said, “Perhaps you just need more experience?”

“Could be,” I told him, “Where’s Lissa?”

“The queen wanted to see Lissa and Christian right away, as soon as they arrived.  They were sent straight to meet with her. They should be arriving now.”

“Is there anywhere that we have to be?” I asked.

“Not for an hour and a half,” he said, “I was thinking we might want to exit the gates to try to help you handle being outside of wards.”

“Let’s do that.  But first, can I have a few minutes to see what the queen wants with Lissa?”

Dimitri nodded and I closed my eyes, opening my mind up to the bond.  Lissa and Christian were sitting in Tatiana’s meeting room, waiting for her arrival.  

“I wonder why we’re here,” Lissa said.

“Who knows?” said Christian, “maybe word got back to her that you and I have been training to fight and she’s not happy about it.”

“Or maybe word got back to her that I’m with you and not Adrian,”  Lissa said.

Christian took Lissa’s hand and told her, “I don’t care if she is the queen.  It should be your decision who you choose to be with - not hers.”

Tatiana walked in briskly, three members of the queen’s guard, identified by the red on their collars, strode in behind her and stood at the side of the wall.

“Princess Vasilisa,” Tatiana said, without preamble, “I understand that you and Mr. Ozera have become a couple?”  

Lissa tightened her grip on Christian’s hand as he placed it out on the table.  “Yes, your majesty,” Lissa said, casting her eyes down on the table.

“Mr. Ozera, are your intentions honorable for the princess?  Do you genuinely care for her?” Tatiana asked.

Christian paused, startled.  It was almost as if she was a parent making sure he wasn’t taking advantage of her daughter.  “I love her,” he said, “I’d like to ask her to marry me one day.”

“Very well.  And I understand that the two of you have been undergoing some defense training from the guardians at St. Vladimir’s since the attack.”

Lissa could only nod as Tatiana continued.  “Now, you, Mr. Ozera - have you been using magic defensively - even participating in the fight against the Strigoi on campus that night in March?”

Christian replied, starting to sound indignant, “Yes, but -” 

Tatiana cut him off.  “Am I also to understand, Mr. Ozera, that you are a fire user?”

“Yes,” answered Christian, almost sneering as he practically growled out the word, “Why does it matter?”

“An insolent one, isn’t he?  Mr. Ozera, are you prepared to use your defensive skills to help safeguard Vasilisa’s safety, as the last of her line, in the event she is endangered?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, looking utterly confused but finally sounding a little more respectful.

“Would you be willing to stay near her whenever you are outside of the wards together?”  Tatiana asked.

“Yes, ma’am,” he answered again.

“Mr. Ozera, could you be convinced to enroll at Lehigh with Princess Dragomir?  Possibly even to enroll in some of the same classes with her?”

Lissa tightened her grip on Christian’s hand and smiled at him, encouragingly.  “Yes, absolutely, your majesty,” replied Lissa, on his behalf. 

Christian nodded.  “I’d be glad to go wherever Lissa is enrolled,” he said.

“I will see that it’s done, then,” she said, surprisingly, “It has come to my attention after the attack at St. Vladimir’s and the evidence uncovered in Spokane that the princess, as the last of her line, may be a more desirable target to Strigoi and need quite a bit of extra protection more than a standard Moroi prince or princess.  I’m allotting each of you an additional guardian at graduation, besides Vasilisa’s normal allotted two and your one, Mr. Ozera, bringing your total between the two of you to five guardians, along with both of you trained in defense. It is my hope that this is sufficient to help preserve the Dragomir line for years to come. In talking with the staff at St. Vladimir’s, each of you will be given your own stake, also.  I’ll see to it that you have those before end of day today.” The queen pressed a button on a speakerphone on the table and said, “Please send them in now.”

A door opened and two guardians walked into the room, a man who looked to be in his mid-twenties and a woman who looked like she might have been closer to nineteen.  “It’s my understanding that you’ll be requesting Rose Hathaway as your guardian at graduation, Vasilisa,” the queen said, “It sounds from Headmistress Kirova and Guardian Petrov as though Miss Hathaway may prove to be an ideal choice, after all, for your care.  I’ve recently received word that Guardian Belikov has requested a transfer once you have graduated, which means that you will be needing two additional guardians. I’d like to introduce you to Grant and Serena. I would like them to take over your other guardian duties from Guardian Belikov once you arrive at Court.  I’ve been talking with Headmistress Kirova and Guardian Petrov about Mr. Ozera’s protection and would like to wait until after graduation and final trials, but it sounds as though Edison Castile might be a wise choice for one of them. We’ll have to see if any others from St. Vladimir’s should be deemed suitable, but if not, Guardian Hans Croft, head of the guardian council, should be able to allocate a suitable guardian, when the time comes.”

Christian and Lissa sat there, half-stunned.  Finally, after a minute of silence, Tatiana spoke to the two guardians, saying, “Because of what she represents in the long-term scope of the Moroi council, the safety of Princess Dragomir is tantamount to my own.  Please see to it that she is never unattended.”

Before anyone could reply, the queen got up and exited the room, her royal guards following closely behind.

“Hello,” said Lissa to the two guardians, extending her hand and feeling much more shy than she had before.

I exited the bond, blinking as I saw Dimitri looking into my eyes.

“Lissa and Christian have just been allocated an additional guardian each,” I said, “and Christian is going to be enrolling at Lehigh with Lissa.”

-=o0&0o=-

I stood at the edge of the gates, waiting for Dimitri to return from talking to the guardian on gate duty.  As he began walking back, the guardian pushed a button that began raising the lever crossing the front entrance of the Court gates.

“Here goes,” I said to Dimitri as he approached.

“Wait, Roza,” he said, with a hand on my shoulder.  I turned and he took my hand and placed a stake in it - the one I’d gotten on the plane.  “Just in case.”

As I walked out, the pain seemed almost non-existent, let alone bearable.  I could see ghosts, but there were few. Some of them looked to be Moroi or dhampirs.  It made sense that they would’ve stayed close to Court.

“Dimitri, do you ever wonder what happened to the people you lost after they died?” I asked him, as we continued walking further out from the gates.

“Honestly?” he asked.  I nodded. “I try not to think about it.  I’d rather not focus on their loss. I’d rather live my life in a way that honors those I cared about.  And protects those I care about that are still alive.” 

I smiled at that.  “I’ve seen a lot of ghosts of people that I knew,” I said to him, “Do you think Ivan is watching over you?”

“I don’t know, but I guess I’d like to think so,” he said.

“Do you have a picture of him?” I asked, turning to him.  

Dimitri pulled out his wallet and showed me a photo.  He looked familiar to me, as though I’d seen him before.  For a moment, I questioned if it was the resemblance to Jesse.  Ivan had some of the same Zeklos family features as Jesse, the piercing blue eyes and square jaw, but that was where the similarities ended.  His hair was a light brown, several shades darker than Jesse’s. Also, for a Moroi, Ivan was actually quite muscular - probably not all that surprising, considering Dimitri was his best friend.  Then it hit me where I had seen him. I looked up from the picture and looked around the area, searching for the ghost of that man in the photo.

“I’ve seen him before,” I told Dimitri, “On the plane the first time we went to Court for the trial, I think, but he’s not here now.  I’ve never tried this before, but would you like me to call to him and see if he comes?”

“How is your head?” Dimitri asked.

“Actually, not that bad,” I told him, “ I think it has been getting less severe each time.”

“Do you think it would make it worse if you called to him?”

“I don’t know,” I said, “I’d definitely have to stop fighting to keep them out of my head.”

“I don’t want to put you at risk, Roza, but if you can get over this, then it will help you when you have to be at Lehigh with Lissa.”

We had walked far enough from the gates that we weren’t concerned about anyone from Court hearing.  I called out, “Ivan Zeklos! Are you here?”

A few of the ghosts turned to look at me and then kept on walking. For a few moments, nothing happened.  I called again, “Ivan!”

Before I even realized what was happening, Ivan’s ghost materialized in front of me.  “He’s here,” I told Dimitri. He looked a little more solid than Mason had. “Are you able to talk?  So that we could hear you?” I asked him.

Ivan shook his head ‘no’.

“Do you know who I am?” I asked him.

Again, Ivan shook his head, but then he smiled at Dimitri.

“I think he wants you to tell him,” I said to Dimitri, “He’s standing right there.”  I pointed to where Ivan was.

“Ivan,” Dimitri said, looking at what he likely perceived as the empty space in front of him, and taking my hand in his own, “This is Rose Hathaway, the best guardian I have ever known, and the love of my life.”

Dimitri and I spent around ten minutes talking to Ivan and walking further from Court.  He couldn’t respond more than a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’, and I had to relay his answers to Dimitri, but it gave me a chance to get to know Dimitri’s best friend, gave me a chance to acclimate to being outside of the wards, and gave both of them a little chance at closure.

When it was time to head back, we said goodbyes to Ivan and he evaporated into thin air, then we turned to go back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, summer is officially upon us now, and with that comes another change in schedule. I’m not exactly sure what my update timeline for the next few months is going to be yet. It may mean more updates, but it could also mean less of them. Most of my free time from work is still on the weekends, but I may find myself away from my computer more often during that free time. If you aren’t subscribed/following, I might suggest checking back each week on Saturday or Sunday. It will remain my goal to post at least once every two weeks.  
> My question of the week is: Other than the Vampire Academy series, what is your favorite book or book series and why?  
> Mine personally is the Arcana Chronicles book series by Kresley Cole. The first book is Poison Princess and if you search, Amazon offers an electronic Free Preview Edition that is the first 17 chapters. The final book in the series is due to be published this summer and I’m so anxious to have it come out! She’s written a very creative and completely original take on the supernatural world with a completely unexpected and complicated love story. The main character’s love interest, Jack, is sort of like an 18-year-old Cajun juvenile delinquent version of Dimitri. He’s a tall, muscular complete badass (who knows he’s sex on legs) with a wicked case of chivalry and a criminal record.


	30. The Fire That Tempers Steel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some mild sexual content in parts of the first section of this chapter, but only maybe PG-13-ish.

“It’s odd,” Dimitri said, as we turned away from where Ivan was and began to walk back, “You spent hours outside of the wards on your birthday with no real issues, but your headache during the flight today sounded like it was excruciating.  I’m not sure what the difference is.”

“Yeah, it definitely did hurt on my birthday, but it was a much more manageable level.  Dr. Olendski gave me some migraine medication that I had taken in advance when I knew I was going on my birthday, though.  I didn’t have time to take it before I left today, so that could be part of it.  I’m not sure what else could be the difference.  It might be something specific about the plane rides.”

“How are you feeling now?” he asked.

“Mostly fine.  I could definitely feel it when Ivan was here, though.  My stomach is actually feeling like it’s in knots right now, although I’ve not had that with the ghosts before.  It’s more something I get when - “ adrenaline suddenly seized me as I shouted, “Oh, fuck!  Strigoi!”  

Dimitri tried to put me behind his back, but I wouldn’t be contained like that, not to mention that he had no idea what direction they were coming from. I turned my back to him so that we were back-to-back and pulled out my stake.  Sure enough, almost like they had heard me saying it and thought I was calling for them, two Strigoi came running out of the woods towards me.  Both appeared to be former dhampirs, likely guardians.  One was a female about my height, and the other was a male a few inches shorter than Dimitri, though he didn’t have quite as much muscle as Dimitri had.

“Two of them!  This way!” I told Dimitri as I prepared to fight.  Dimitri turned just before they were in striking distance.  Once they were in sight, they closed the distance quickly.

I could tell Dimitri didn’t want me to fight, but he didn’t have much of an option.  “I’ll take the male,” I told Dimitri, as I moved to the left to take him on.  I was used to fighting Dimitri,and he was used to fighting me, so I thought it’d be easiest if we took the person whose build was most like the person we were used to fighting.  Dimitri made a noise of protest, but nonetheless moved right to take on the female.

I guessed that it was because of age and size - that they would find him to be the tougher opponent, but both Strigoi made a beeline for Dimitri.  I was behind the male, so I kicked him in the calf, sending him momentarily to the ground, but he was quick to right himself and get back to fighting, spinning to turn towards me. 

Once I began to fight him, there was no time to check on Dimitri, but I would just have to assume he was doing alright.  It worried me that I might be a distraction to him.  After what happened in the caves, I was sure he would’ve wanted to check on me.

The male was a trained fighter and appeared from his strength to have some age on him.  When his back was turned, I had seen a promise mark and five _molnija_.  I wondered how many the female had, but there wasn’t time to check on that, either.

The male swung out and hit me just above the stomach.  He knocked the wind out of me and it hurt badly, but he lacked the bodyweight I had when I had broken Dimitri’s ribs.  Between the nausea and the hit, I was feeling like I might lose my lunch, but I didn’t want to die, so I sprung back up and kept fighting.  I could hear sounds of fighting behind me, but I wasn’t able to look back.  I just had to hope that Dimitri was holding his own.

I punched out with my stake hand, raking the stake across the Strigoi’s cheek and right eye.  I saw blood gushing out as he screamed and immediately went to clutch his face with one hand.

“What?” I asked him, taunting the evil undead thing standing before me, “What kind of half-assed Strigoi are you?  No witty banter - even when I render you half-blind?”  I heard Dimitri chuckling behind me between the grunts of his fight.

“You just wait, little girl,” he told me as he went back to fighting. The blood running down the side of his face from the disgusting open wound where his eye used to be was almost too disturbing to watch.  “After I knock you unconscious here and we make a meal of your tall ‘friend’, I’ll take you back home and pull each of your eyes out, one at a time - very slowly.”

I dodged another hit and swung out with my stake again, making a horizontal rent in the front of his shirt but not managing to get the stake into his heart.

“Hey!” he said, “That was my favorite shirt!  You’re really going to pay now!”

He clocked me in the face.  I staggered back.  I couldn’t tell if he broke my nose, but it was certainly bleeding.  I might have a black eye, too.

“Now, look, what a shame,” he said, “I am really cutting into the profits you could make as a blood whore.  Before, that face would’ve gotten you at least fifty bucks for a blowjob.  But now … not so much!”

I let out an aggravated scream.  “For fuck’s sake,” I yelled at the top of my lungs, “ _FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, I AM NOT A GODDAMN BLOOD WHORE_!!!”

I lunged out with my stake arm, and pierced him in the chest.  I didn’t hit the heart, but it went deep enough that he was in a lot of pain.  The Strigoi screamed out and kicked with his right leg.  He couldn’t see that leg well and missed me completely.  At this point, I was hurt but I was faring much better than he was.  I wondered what was happening with Dimitri, but still couldn’t look. I could still hear him fighting behind me.

I thrust my stake out again, and this time I connected with the Strigoi’s heart.  He made an agonized cry and slumped to the ground, taking his final breath.

I turned to Dimitri to see that another male Strigoi had joined the female and he was fighting two of them.  Dimitri was bleeding in a series of long gashes along one arm, he had looked like he might have a bit of a limp, and his eye looked like it had been hit.  It seemed like he would have a heck of a shiner by tomorrow.  Both Strigoi were bleeding, but Dimitri looked much more worn than they were. 

He was going to lose.  As quick as I could, I reached out with my stake to the female and tried to stake her in the back.  I missed, but I definitely seemed to have damaged a lung.  She screamed and then made a gurgling coughing sound, then turned to me.  She was spitting out blood for a few seconds as she began to fight me.  Her technique wasn’t as good as the male’s, but she had more strength.  Older.  She must’ve seen where the male punched me because she hit the same spot.  I was definitely going to have some bruised ribs, but I could barely feel it over the adrenaline pounding through me. 

She was a strategic thinker.  She aimed her next punch at my nose, right where the last Strigoi had hit me, but I blocked with my stake and left a deep gash along her right arm.  She missed and I had weakened her dominant arm.  I swung in again from below with my stake and tried to get the heart.  It landed and she fell.

I turned to see Dimitri.  The final Strigoi hunched over his unconscious body laying on the ground, preparing to bite.  No!  Without thinking at all, I lunged with my stake and plunged it into his back.  I didn’t miss and the Strigoi immediately crumpled.

I looked around, but there were no more Strigoi to be found.  I knelt down next to Dimitri and checked him.  He was still breathing and he didn’t appear to have lost much blood.  I put my hand on the side of his face and kissed his forehead, saying, “Comrade, wake up, please!”

I kissed his forehead again and he blinked his eyes, as if waking from a dream.  “Roza?” he said, sitting up and looking around.

“They’re gone,” I told him, brushing the hair back from his face, “For now, at least.  I don’t think we want to stay out here any longer than we have to, though.”

Dimitri pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and quickly pulled a number from speed dial.  When a voice came on the other end, he replied, “Guardian Dimitri Belikov.  We have three confirmed Strigoi kills, two injured guardians - it looks like a concussion, a few cracked ribs, and a broken nose.  We’re three quarters of a mile west from Court on the main road.  We’ll need transport back to Court and an alchemist for cleanup.”

Without even so much as a goodbye, he hung up the phone.  “They told me they’d be here in ten minutes,” he told me, “When we get back, we will have some paperwork to fill out.”

“Comrade, I’m sort of pissed that you tried to sideline me when they arrived,” I told Dimitri, “If I hadn’t been fighting by your side, you’d be dead right now.”

“I’m sorry, Roza,” Dimitri told me, “You can handle yourself much more than I give you credit for.  I’ll never underestimate you again.  After today, you’ll have as many _molnija_ as I have.  In fact, if you don’t want a ceremony, you can probably even get them while we’re still at Court this afternoon after the paperwork has been filled out.”

“Actually, I think I might prefer it without a ceremony,” I told him.

“Now,” he told me, cupping the nape of my neck, “I’d like to offer you my thanks for rescuing me before our transport arrives.”

Dimitri gently pulled me closer to him, looking me right in the eye with those bottomless chocolate eyes searing me.  The look of desire in his eyes was nearly electric. My lips crashed into his in a kiss so hard that I began to feel dizzy, as we clutched each other more tightly. 

I could taste a bit of the blood dripping from both of our faces, but tried to ignore it.  We were both being careful not to press up against any tender areas where we’d been hurt, but there were a few bumps.  I could tell that my nose had definitely been broken.

Dimitri pulled his lips away from the kiss, touching his forehead to mine with his eyes closed.  “This isn’t a safe place to be doing this right now,” he told me, “especially with less than ten minutes before guardians arrive, but I want you so badly, Roza.  Right here.  Right now.”  I gasped as he took my hand and moved it to the rock-solid bulge in his pants.

“We can’t,” I told him, as I pulled my leg across his lap to straddle him, rolling my hips to feel him against me.

“I know,” he replied, gripping my ass so tightly he’d probably leave handprint-shaped bruises as he pressed me into his hardness.

I moaned as I felt the heat through the layers of clothing in between us.  One of Dimitri’s hands came up to cup my breast and massage it.

“Maybe we could just be really quick about it?” I offered in a half-whimper, tugging on the front button of Dimitri’s pants while his lips began grazing the side of my neck.

He groaned as he squeezed my nipple through my clothing with one hand, then pulled my hand away from his button and said, “There could be more Strigoi in these woods.  And as much as I would love to just _take_ you right now, I’d rather have time to enjoy it.”

“Raincheck?” I asked, rocking my hips against his hardness again.

“I’ll definitely make good on that, Roza,” he whispered against my ear, giving my earlobe a light nip and pinching my nipple one last time.

“So how come we don’t seem to be stopping?” I chuckled.

“Because you’re just too tempting, Roza,” he told me, running the pad of his thumb over my nipple again, “but for now, we really should stop.  We only have ...” he stopped and looked at his phone, “three minutes until the guardians will be here.”

As I pulled away from one last searing kiss, a cold-sounding voice behind me said, “Well, isn’t that just _precious_?” 

I froze.  Until that moment, I hadn’t noticed that my nausea had returned.

“Well, well, dhampirs.  That’s almost as good as Moroi.  And you already both look so _beaten_ and worn-down.  You should be easy pickings.  I could smell the blood coming from both of you from quite a way away.  Honestly, it was mouth-watering.”

No one had made a move to attack yet.  My eyes met Dimitri’s.  He glanced down, showing me with his eyes that his stake was tucked into his inner jacket pocket, inches away from my hands, which were still on his pants button.  My stake laid on the ground by the three dead Strigoi I had killed earlier.

“I almost feel bad for breaking up your little romantic tryst,” the Strigoi told us, “God knows that they wouldn’t let a guardian and a …” I felt his icy fingers graze the nape of my neck as he lifted the back of my hair “ … wow, unpromised novice with multiple kills under her belt - not bad, Belikov! - be together.  Dimka, you might have some surprises left in you yet.  Rumor has it that you were teaching at an academy after Ivan and I were out of your life.  I didn’t think you’d be the kind of guy to be bedding a student.”

My gaze went back to Dimitri’s, silently asking with my eyes, _You know this guy?_  

He nodded.  “Brandon Metz,” Dimitri said, “My old guarding partner.  I thought you died the night Ivan did.  You know I could always take you in a fight, Brandon.  Let’s be done with this and just let me kill you now.”

“Don’t be so sure you’d be the winner.  I’m stronger now, Dimka.  And I know all of your moves.  But I have other plans for you than to kill you.  Galina Sinekopova wants you to join us.”

“Over my dead body.  I’ll never join you,” Dimitri said.

“That’s sort of the idea, Dimitri.  And if your student is half the fighter you are, I’m willing to bet Galina would want her, too - though with the two of you against me, I’m not sure that’ll be able to happen.  If it’s a choice, you’re the one we’re taking.”

“We?”  Dimitri asked, “Are there more of you?”

“The others are just a phone call away,” Brandon said.

“Do you really think you’ll survive to make that call?” asked Dimitri.

This whole time, I was still just sitting there awkwardly silent on Dimitri’s lap.  Thankfully, his very distracting erection seemed to have subsided the moment when the Strigoi showed up. 

“To quote my favorite movie,” Brandon said with a chuckle, “‘Let us see who is _right_ , and who is _dead_ ’.  I’m going to give you both a sporting chance, so stand up.  I prefer the convenience of an easy kill, but it’s sometimes fun to play with my food.” 

I could hear from his footsteps that Brandon backed away, giving us the appearance of space to safely stand, but I didn’t trust it.  I caught Dimitri’s eyes and clasped the stake from his jacket, standing in one fluid move.  A second later, I was grateful that I did because Brandon used his speed and body weight to tackle sideways,  pushing me back down to the ground at Dimitri’s side.  I kicked at and elbowed him wildly, trying to push him off of me and get the upper hand.

“I can tell she learned everything she knows from you, Dimka.  But this one’s feisty,” he said after I kicked and elbowed at him, “I bet she’s a real wild one in the sack, too.  Maybe I’ll keep her so I can find out for mys -” Brandon was interrupted and I felt a weight lifting off of me.  Dimitri picked up Brandon like he was a rag doll and threw him to the ground.

“No one talks about Rose that way, _хуесо́с_!” Dimitri yelled, plunging my discarded stake into Brandon’s stomach.  It was far too low to hit the heart and I got the feeling Dimitri knew it.  I scuttled to the side to stand up again and get back into the fight.

Brandon cried out in pain for an instant, but quickly recovered and said between parried blows, “Wow, Dimka, you’ve got quite a mouth on you now, too!  You really _are_ full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Just wait to see what surprises we both have in store for you, Metz,” Dimitri said, as I came in with my stake, aiming for the heart through Brandon’s back.

My stake hit his spinal cord, missing the heart, and giving him enough notice that Brandon back-handed me.  I went flying and landed several feet away.  I tried to stand up again, whimpering in pain as I realized my ankle may have been broken.

Ivan lunged into Dimitri’s neck with his face, aiming to bite him.  I couldn’t get up to fight and I felt myself paralyzed in fear as I sat there watching this unfold. 

“This isn’t what Ivan would have wanted,” Dimitri said, as Brandon bit down.  I tried to stand again and fell, my leg completely incapable of supporting my weight.  I tried a third time and limped over to where Brandon was hunched over Dimitri.  Dimitri was still conscious, but his face looked too blissed out from the endorphins of the bite to care. 

I lunged out with my stake to Brandon’s back, trying to stake him again, falling on him with all of my weight.  He turned towards me and threw me onto the ground on my back, clearly hurt but not staked through the heart as I had hoped.  He pulled the stake out of my hand and threw it across the road, and straddled my hips, holding me down.  Though still conscious, Dimitri seemed too dazed to react.  As Brandon leaned over me, preparing to bite I let out a whimper, utterly helpless to do anything but sit there and let the blood-sucking monster take me down.

Suddenly, Ivan was there with us, waving his hands frantically in front of Brandon’s face.  It was evident from the way Brandon suddenly released his bite and backed away from my neck that he could see Ivan.  Despite the actuality of the situation being exactly that, Brandon’s face looked as though he’d seen a ghost.  He began swatting at Ivan as though he were some sort of a buzzing insect around him. 

Suddenly, Brandon seemingly inexplicably slumped over on top of me and a look of surprise passed by his eyes. 

“Forgive me,” Brandon said, as I saw his eyes turn back from their deep red to a light blue. 

A stake was jutting out of Brandon’s back.  I pushed his lifeless body off of me, but couldn’t manage to stand. 

A look between shock and regret passed over Dimitri’s face, as he reached out a hand to help me up.  “I didn’t know he was turned,” he told me, “killing someone you know, even if they’ve been turned … it’s horrible.”

“I know,” I told him as I stood and leaned into his body, offering an arm in consolation and a quick kiss on the cheek, “You deserved better than having to kill your friend - even if he wasn’t himself.  I love you.”

I wanted to do more.  I wanted to comfort him.  I wanted to show him how much I loved him, but I couldn’t.  The guardians would be there any second.

As soon as I thought it, the Court-issue SUV came over the hill.  The driver of the car was a guardian and he appeared to be alone.  He looked young - possibly a recent grad within the past year.

Once the driver of the car got out and walked up to us, he said, with a heavy southern accent, “Let’s get you both into the car and get y’all outta here.”

I told him, “I think my leg is broken.  I’m going to need help to get in.” 

He came around and supported my other side and the two of them helped me limp toward the car.  “What happened here, Belikov?” he said, “I thought you said a broken nose, cracked ribs, and a concussion.”

“That was before Strigoi number four came,” I told him.

“Wow, Belikov,” said the driver, “How many marks is this with the four new ones?  You must have a ton!”

“Not really that many,” said Dimitri, “I have seven molnija and a battle star for the attack at St. Vladimir’s.  I’ll only be getting one more.  Three of these will belong to her.”

“Oh,” the driver continued, then turned to me, “First kills, huh, sweetie?”

“Hardly,” I said, not wanting to pander to him or show off my marks, especially with his condescending nickname.

“Rose has four molnija and a battle star. She’ll almost have as many as I do when she’s gotten the ones for what happened here,” Dimitri said.

“Nice,” said the driver, getting in and starting up the car, still having not even offered his name, “I haven’t seen you before, sweetie, Did you graduate last year or the year before?” 

Since he still hadn’t given us a name, I decided I’d just refer to him as Billy-Bob.  It seemed like a suitable redneck name for him.  I noticed when he sat in the driver’s seat in front of me that his neck was bare except for his promise mark.

“Neither,” I said, leaving it at that.

“Ah,” Billy-Bob said, “Huh, you must be older than you look.  Explains how you managed to get so many marks.”

The rest of the car ride passed in relative silence, but as soon as Billy-Bob got out of the car, Dimitri handed me a hair tie, saying, “No one should treat you with such disrespect.  Put your hair up so that this _mudak_ can see just how outclassed he really is.”

I did as he suggested, making sure the lack of a promise mark on the back of my neck was visible.  When Dimitri and Billy-Bob came to assist me in getting out of the car, I said, “One second,” and then bent down to pull my sock up, showing the back of my neck quite visibly.  I sat up and bypassed Billy-Bob entirely, grabbing Dimitri’s outstretched hand.

“Thanks, Dimitri,” I told him.

“It was nice meeting you, Dimitri,” he said.

“That’s ‘Guardian Belikov’ to you,” Dimitri told Billy-Bob with a pointed look.

“So why does she get to call you Dimitri?”

“Because she has earned that privilege,” he said, “Besides, I couldn’t stop her if I tried.”

-=o0&0o=-

As Dimitri and I limped up the path towards the medical clinic, Lissa came running toward us.

“Rose,” she shrieked, “What happened?”

“Strigoi,” Dimitri replied as Lissa finished her approach, “Four of them.  In the woods.”

As soon as she was standing in front of us, I could tell that, even with the potentially broken leg, the damage from the fight was far worse-looking than I felt.  Sympathy coursed through the bond. 

Lissa clucked her tongue, looking me over and assessing the damage, and said, “Rose, why does danger just seem to follow you everywhere you go?”  Lissa took my hand that wasn’t around Dimitri’s shoulder in both of her own.  Before I could even think to stop her, I could feel the warm and cold tingles of spirit healing moving through my body. 

“Stop, Liss!” I told her, pulling my hand away, “I’ll be fine in a few weeks.  Just leave it be.”

“Now seriously, Rose,” she said, grabbing my hand back again in a surprisingly assertive move, “Your final trials are supposed to be in two weeks.  Do you really want to be on crutches for them?  You’d probably have to spend another year stuck in school if you couldn’t take them.”

She was right, of course, so I let her heal me.  I couldn’t risk being unable to compete.  There was a precedent for such things, but it wasn’t often.  Chances were, if I couldn’t participate in the trials, they would just give me a dummy score based on my course grades - which would be abysmal because of the two years I missed - but if my score was too low, or if they had insufficient information to provide me with a score, I’d end up repeating my senior year at St. Vladimir’s.  Regardless, that would mean not getting assigned to Lissa or not getting an immediate New Black Moon ranking or higher.  Dimitri had said that without the ranking, he and I couldn’t be together right away - because people would think that I hadn’t earned my combat grades from him.  I could probably earn the New Black Moon later, but by then it might be too late to get a Court assignment.  No matter what, without the use of my legs at the trials this year, there was a good chance I wouldn’t be assigned to Lissa - or even assigned to Court, at all - after leaving St. Vladimir’s.

Lissa finished healing me and released my hand.  “Maybe Adrian was right,” Lissa told me.

I cringed.  There were a lot of reasons I never wanted to hear his name again, but especially in hearing that he was _right_ about something.  “In what way?” I asked, trying and failing to arch an eyebrow.

“Maybe you need some sort of healing charm on you at all times, just to keep you from the worst of the damage.  Both from spirit and from all of _this_.” She motioned to my body.

“Liss, you are my best friend and you know that I appreciate you, but you can’t save me from living my life,” I said.

Lissa scoffed. “Rose, this doesn’t have to _be_ your whole life.  No matter how much you want to protect people, you are more than just a protector.  Even if you do seem to get into these situations every time you go out in public.”

Lissa began looking over Dimitri.  He was in pretty bad shape, too.  “Dimitri, are you still going to be able to mentor Rose for the next two weeks in the shape you’re in?”

He hesitated.

“No, then?” Lissa asked, taking his hand before he could protest.  I could feel the power through the bond.  She wasn’t using a lot of spirit, but she was healing him.

I was surprised by the way Lissa was taking charge of everything, but even if I wasn’t thrilled about all of the spirit she was using, I was proud of her for standing up for herself.

“Christian and I finished up our meeting with the queen a little while ago.  She wants us to stay together after graduation and attend Lehigh together.  And she’s allocated each of us an additional guardian!  I’ll have three and he’ll have two.”

I tried to pretend like I didn’t already know everything.  “That’s great, Liss!” I told her.

“Are we flying back tonight?” Lissa asked.

“No,” said Dimitri, “Guardian Bondar was supposed to get us rooms in guest housing this morning and then we’re supposed to all meet up with him at one o’clock for lunch.  After that, we have the rest of the afternoon at Court to ourselves and then we’ll fly back out to St. Vladimir’s at eight o’clock tomorrow.”

“Wait,” I said, “ _Yuri_ was in charge of room assignments?”  Dimitri nodded and we both exchanged a look.  _This_ should be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to bluegoldrose for the use of her name for Ivan’s other guardian. I also used the same last name for Galina that Gigi256 used for her in her Dimitri POV stories. If you haven’t checked out bluegoldrose’s story, ‘Shadow Bound Together’, I highly recommend it. And - okay - I might be slightly biased since I’ve been beta-reading the past ten or so chapters for it. :-)  
> Hope I didn’t offend anyone or come off as too stereotyping with the Billy-Bob character. It just struck me that the Moroi culture must have those people out there who are sort of living in the age of prejudice and chauvinism and I wanted to portray that. Either because of her age or as one of the few female dhampirs who isn’t a ‘working girl’ (meaning prostitute) or off raising kids, Rose continues to be underestimated and stereotyped, herself, both in my story and in Mead’s.  
> Here’s my question of the week: What drew you to fan fiction and what were the first few fics you read end-to-end?   
> For me, it was actually kind of a funny thing. I was curious about the perfume that Rose got from Adrian in Frostbite and I went to Google it. I couldn’t find it when I just looked up the reference, so I plugged a few key phrases from the book with quotes around them into a Google search, hoping I’d find the name of the perfume on one of those sketchy “read this book free online” sites. Instead of finding one of those, I came across the Dimitri POV Frostbite from Gigi256. I started reading her story and was intrigued, then after a chapter or two, I immediately wondered, “Huh, what else is out there?” and looked up one of my other favorite book series, The Arcana Chronicles by Kresley Cole - I honestly can’t say enough about how much I love these books, by the way. There’s an author by the name of GreenThumbTarasova that did very thorough multi-chapter ‘what if’ scenario alternate universe that changed the entire course of the story - and it just blew me away. I read through her entire 45-ish chapters and 250,000-ish words in only two days. I think I got only somewhere around 4 hours of sleep. I couldn’t put it down! As soon as I finished hers, I went through all of Gigi256’s Dimitri POV stories and was equally impressed.


	31. Close Quarters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content in the section after the second break. Discretion is advised.

The rest of us were all standing outside of a café for lunch when Yuri came running up. He surprised me by giving me a giant bear hug, then pulled away and began looking me over like a parent might check a toddler for injuries after a fall.  “Are you okay?  I heard that you and Dimitri fought three Strigoi!” he said.  Then he lowered his voice and said to me, “I’d hug Belikov, but God knows grumpy-pants wouldn’t let me.”

“Wow, news travels fast around here,” I said, “but it was actually four.”

I heard Lissa ask me through the bond, _It was that many, Rose?  You could’ve been killed!_   A new wave of worry came from her.

Yuri replied, “More like gossip than news, I’m afraid.  There’s not much else to do at guardian H.Q. when you’re not on duty.  I’ll be sure to correct the number, though.  Need to build up your rep with the other guardians, kiddo.  How many did you personally take out?”

“Three,” I muttered, not necessarily feeling like it was something I should be proud of.

“Belikov, did you talk to Alberta about a _molnija_ ceremony for when we get back?”

“Actually,” I said, “I’d like to get mine while we’re here.  Without a ceremony.”

Dimitri nodded.  “I’ll talk to her about getting mine and let her know Rose would prefer not to have one.”

I turned to face Dimitri.  “You want a ceremony?  For your mark for killing Brandon?” I asked him, in a low tone.

Dimitri looked at me with that same Zen face I’d seen a hundred times.  “He is finally at peace,” he said, “It definitely comes with its own sadness, too, but it’s the least I could do to show respect for what he was before.  To show that his suffering has truly ended.  It may not be the same remembrance he got in his funeral ceremony when we thought he was dead, but it needs to be commemorated.  Even if it is bittersweet.  He would’ve wanted me to end this, and now I have.”

After such a candid response, I could almost forget that everyone else was with us.  “I understand,” I said, “Do you think it’s okay that I chose not to have a ceremony?”

Dimitri replied, placing a hand on my shoulder, “Roza, whatever you decide about your _molnija_ is personal to you. Do what feels right.”

I nodded.

“Well,” said Yuri, ending the moment, “we should probably get you all some food and talk about room assignments.  There’s the café, so let’s get inside and order lunch.  I hear that they have killer BLT’s.”

After we had all sat down at a table, Yuri began, “So since there are six of us and two Moroi, I’ve booked us into two two-bedroom suites with a pull-out couch in the living room of each one.  Field experience ends today, so I thought I’d put Rose with the princess instead of Christian.  The Moroi each get a bedroom, of course.  The others, I figured I’d assign based on height.  Sorry, Rose, this means you get a pull-out.  If you’ve got a problem with that, then grow a foot taller.”

I laughed at that as Yuri continued. “Now, Dimitri’s the tallest, and he’s still technically Vasilisa’s guardian, so I put him in the other bedroom with the princess’s room.  Eddie, you’re shorter than me, so you get the other pull-out and I get the bedroom in Ozera’s room.  The bags should already have been brought up to the rooms.  Here’s a key for each of us.”

Yuri handed room keys around the table.  “We all fly back out at nine tomorrow, so be ready to leave at the front lobby of guest housing by eight thirty.”

I had to let it sink in that Dimitri was going to be sleeping in the same suite that I was.  Lissa would be there, but she knew that Dimitri and I were _together_.  I had been privy to intimate details of her sex life for the past six months, so I felt confident that she could handle a few noises through the walls. 

\--=o0/&\0o=--

After we all finished lunch, Christian and Lissa had to go to the feeders.  Here at Court, most Moroi had guardians assigned to them, but only had the guardians travel with them when going outside of the wards, so we weren’t expected to join them.  As we were saying goodbye for them to head to the feeders, Lissa told me, “Rose, after we’re done at the feeders, Christian and I wanted to explore some of the areas around Court together that I missed out on the last time we were here.  I wasn’t sure if you’d want to go, since you’ve already been.”

“Thanks for the offer, Liss,” I told her, “but I think I’ll pass this time around.  We’ll be back in a few weeks and we should have more time to explore then.” 

“It should take at least an hour, maybe two, but I’ve planned another spa session for you and I later on.  I think you’ll like this one.  Meet me there at four thirty.  Don’t be late,” she said.

I looked at the clock on the café wall.  It was only two thirty.  “Comrade,” I said to Dimitri, “Should we train for the next two hours?”

“Are you still wearing your training gear?” he asked.

“No, I took it off on the plane, just before we took off. It’s in my bag.”

I was sure I had a twinkle in my eyes as he told me, “Then perhaps we should go to the suite in guest housing so that you can get changed.”  And we would be alone in that suite - for at least an hour.

“Lead the way, Comrade,” I told him.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

When I walked into the suite, I saw that our bags had already been placed in the rooms.  One bedroom held Lissa’s sparkly pink overnight bag and the other held a very spartan black pleather duffle that just screamed ‘Dimitri’.  As soon as Dimitri closed the main suite door, I was already in his bedroom taking off my shirt.  As Dimitri stalked towards me, I laid back on his incredibly soft queen-sized bed and backed up to the headboard.  Since these rooms were most often used by Moroi, the beds were among the softest I’d ever been on, and completely soundless - no squeaking, creaking mattress, like I had at St. Vladimir’s.

“Roza,” he groaned, “We don’t know if the princess might come back early.”

“Then I guess we should put a sock on the door or something,” I told him as I began to unfasten my bra.

Dimitri scowled.  “It’s one thing for her to know that you and I have feelings for one another,” he said, “but it’s quite another for her to walk in on us in bed together.”

As I dragged my bra off my shoulders, baring myself from the waist up, I told him, “So get in here and lock the bedroom door, Comrade.  Then she won’t walk in and see us.”

“I mean,” he said, still standing in the doorway, “for her to know we’re being intimate.”

“She’s my best friend, Comrade.  I’ve already told her we’re ‘being intimate’.”  I used air quotes around his words.  “Besides, I can’t count the number of times I’ve seen full frontal on Christian in her head.”

“Lissa having sex with Christian won’t get Christian fired - or Lissa expelled,” Dimitri said, arching an eyebrow.

“Liss already knows that she needs to keep our relationship to herself.  If it makes you feel better, we can turn on the radio in here?”

Dimitri reluctantly nodded, closed the door, and locked it.  I turned and started the radio beside the bed.  Once I turned back to Dimitri, the way he moved towards me was far from reluctant.  He’d already tossed his shirt across the room and kicked off his shoes, and he was unbuttoning his pants and discarding them as he crawled up the bed towards me. 

His dark chocolate eyes looked almost blackened with lust as his body stalked my own.  When his hands got to my waist, he began to unzip my blue jeans and then tugged them down in one quick jerk.  He growled once he saw that I was wearing my red satin thong, which I now knew to be his favorite of my panties.

“You like those - don’t y-” before I could comment further on what he thought of my panties, his mouth was licking, with his lips wrapped around my nipple, causing me to cry out loudly.

As soon as I cried out, Dimitri’s whole body went still and he pulled back.  “Roza,” he whispered with a frown, “There are people in the next room over.  And they may know this room is occupied by the St. Vladimir’s group.”

I cringed.  It wasn’t just Lissa we’d be worrying about _hearing_ us, especially if I was loud.

Dimitri placed his mouth back on my nipple, giving me a tentative, gentle lick.  I bit the inside of my cheek to silence myself.  He wrapped one of his arms around my back and gradually began to increase the speed and pressure of his licking, looking me in the eye to confirm that I could be quiet.  His other arm began caressing my side and hip, letting his fingers run across my skin. 

“Roza,” he murmured against my skin, “I want to make you come so hard.” 

Dimitri slid his hand around to my stomach, sliding it into the front of my panties.  I let out a soft moan as his fingers finally dipped to my soaking wet clit, careful to keep my voice from getting too loud.  His finger circled my entrance, then plunged inside.  He began pumping his hand into me, making me dizzy with lust. 

“Dimitri,” I gasped, “You’re making it awfully hard for me to stay quiet.”

Dimitri gave me a devilish grin as he said, “That’s all I needed to hear.”  He yanked down my panties and was thrusting himself inside me within moments.  I bit my cheek harder as he pushed himself into me with a force I have never felt before.  The high-quality bed remained completely soundless, despite Dimitri’s punishing pace.

I felt myself getting close to climax, helpless not to shatter from Dimitri’s relentless motion at my core.  As I fell over the edge in bliss, I let out one quiet moan, unable to hold back completely. 

My own release seemed to trigger Dimitri’s.  A moment after my own moan, his joined it and I felt his seed filling me. 

\--=o0/&\0o=--

He kissed my forehead and eyes, cupping the back of my head with his fingers wrapped in my hair.  “I love you, Roza,” he whispered at my earlobe as he kissed it, “I’ll never get tired of telling you that.”

“I love y-” For the second time in the past several minutes, I found my words being cut off, but this time by sounds of people entering the living room of the suite and the door closing behind them.  Dimitri and I held still, not even breathing.  I met his gaze and stared wide-eyed.

Lissa’s voice came from the living room.  “Rose and Dimitri must’ve already gone to practice, Eddie.  I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Are you sure?” asked Eddie, “It sounds like the radio is on in the bedroom.”  Dimitri and I heard the bedroom door handle jiggle, as though someone was trying to open it.  There was a knock on the door.  “Dimitri!  Rose!  Is one of you in there?”

“Hide,” Dimitri whispered, as he quickly pushed off from the bed.  Then, louder, he said, through the door, “One moment.  I was just changing.” 

There was a small closet in Dimitri’s room and I ran over to it.  Dimitri had already found a pair of workout shorts and slid them on, then threw me my clothes and closed the closet door.

I could see through the slats in the closet door as Dimitri opened the bedroom door.  “Hello Novice Castile,” Dimitri said to Eddie in the doorway, standing there with no shirt on.

“Hey Dimitri,” Eddie said, “Er - Guardian Belikov, I mean.”

“No, Eddie, Dimitri is fine,” he said, placing a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, “What can I do for you?”

“I was hoping to join you for your training, if I could.  Did I miss my chance?” Eddie asked.

“No,” said Dimitri, “Go ahead and go to your room and get changed and we’ll meet you at your room.”  Dimitri looked out into the living room of the suite.  “Have you seen Rose?  She was in the living room a few minutes ago.”

“No,” said Eddie, “I don’t know where she went.”

“I saw a vending machine down the hall.  Maybe she went to get some candy bars?”  Lissa supplied. 

“Okay, then, I’ll go get changed and meet you both in ten minutes,” said Eddie.

Through the bond, Lissa said, _Rose, I know you’re in the closet.  I can see your aura.  And it’s practically fluorescent and bright reddish-pink!  I_ know _what you were doing when we got here!_

After Eddie said goodbye and walked out of the suite, Lissa said, “Rose, you can come out now.”  I hastily threw my clothes back on and got out of Dimitri’s closet.

Lissa and Dimitri were standing near his bedroom door, while Christian was sitting on the couch.  Dimitri had his guardian mask on, but Lissa was giggling hysterically.  Christian just looked awkward.

“It’s fine with me if you two share a bed while we’re here, but for both of your sakes, don’t get caught,” said Lissa.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

I hadn’t even thought about sleeping in the same bed with Dimitri until Lissa had mentioned it, but as it turned out, she was truly fine with it.  By the time we were all ready for sleep, Lissa actually insisted that I sleep in Dimitri’s room with him instead of taking the couch.  I’d fallen asleep in Dimitri’s arms before, but he had always been gone by the time I woke up.  Waking up in his arms the next morning was strangely fulfilling.  Feeling his gentle light kisses on my nose and cheeks had all of the love and tenderness of making love with him, but it just felt warm and soft.

“I could get used to this,” I told him as I cracked my eyes open to see his wonderful face and dark chocolate eyes before me, “even if you didn’t let me sleep in.” 

I ran my hands through his silky hair and brought his face in for a quick kiss.  Even Russian gods have morning breath, but I didn’t care; it was still wonderful.

“Roza,” he said, pulling me closer and snuggling, “We have to be downstairs at eight thirty.  I know you need breakfast first.”

“Comrade, I eat fast,” I told him, “It’s only -” I glanced at the clock and gaped at him, “- six o’clock!”

“And I know that you need to train again,” he said, “Trials are in less than two weeks and you have a Strigoi with a vendetta after you.”

I winced.  Adrian.  I was desperately trying not to think about him.  And I absolutely couldn’t let myself _not_ think about him.  I groaned as I sat up to get out of bed.  I looked over and saw that Dimitri was already dressed in his training clothes.

“Training first,” said Dimitri, “Then breakfast.  And remember to take your migraine medication in time before our flight takes off.”

“Yes, Janine,” I told him, as I threw a pillow at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of this chapter, each new chapter will be published on both FanFiction and ArchiveOfOurOwn on the same day. My current intended update schedule is about once a week until we’re through with this story or until after July, whichever happens first. I am not entirely sure if there will be a chapter over July 4 weekend (because that’s America’s Independence Day, for those of you outside the U.S.), but I will do my best to make it happen.  
> Just a reminder, for those of you posting a review on FanFiction as a guest, I have no capability to reply to you, so I can’t really answer your questions. ArchiveOfOurOwn allows replies to guest users and FanFiction allows direct messaging to reply to logged in accounts.  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> I’ve seen it written that Richelle Mead has another Moroi/dhampir world novel series in the works. If it were up to you, would you like to see Richelle Mead make another Rose/Dimitri story in the Vampire Academy world, knowing that the existing sort of “they lived happily ever after” would have to at least temporarily go away, or would you rather it be someone else’s story?  
> Personally, I’ve always been sort of drawn to the Rose/Dimitri storyline and I was very disappointed when I got to Bloodlines and it was all Sydney, BUT, I wouldn’t want to see anyone tear our couple apart and there’s definitely gotta be some romantic subplot in the story, so I would think it would have to be mostly about someone else. I like the idea of another girl with a deeply defiant and rebellious personality more like Rose’s, though. Maybe Mia or Viktoria would be a good choice for the next book. Considering the timing of things, it could center around a college-aged Guardian Paul Belikov, too.


	32. Ready for a Fight

“Oof!” I exclaimed as I landed on my ass on the mat in the gym again, “This is killing me, Comrade.”

Dimitri leaned in and offered me his hand to help me back up. “Roza, do you want me to go easy on you?  To hold back?  Or do you want me to train you hard?”

I smirked.  “I want you to do _something_ hard to me, Comrade, but I’m not sure training is what I was thinking of.”

“Not funny, Roza.  Hit the speed bag for five minutes.  You need to be ready when Adrian comes for you.  We know he _will_ come,” he said.

“I know,” I said, as I walked over to begin punching at the speed bag, “but even my bruises have bruises, Dimitri.  We’ve been training hard for the past week - hours each day more than any other novice!  I’m going to be so sore by the time I take my trials that I'll be limping my way through the obstacle course.”

“Is Lissa still offering to heal you after every session?” Dimitri asked.

“Yes,” I said, “She knows what the darkness does to me, though, so I keep turning her down.”

Dimitri nodded. “Good.  Physical pain will make you stronger, but the darkness from her healing you is just going to make you _both_ more volatile.”

“It does make me fight harder, though,” I told him, “That could be a good thing against Adrian.”

“You haven’t told her about him, I hope?”  It was a question.

“No,” I told him, “I understand why she wasn’t told.  If there’s even a little bit of darkness that I _haven’t_ taken from her, she isn’t going to handle this well.  Let’s focus on getting through high school, and then we can tell her.  Besides, she is up to something.  She’s been closing her thoughts off to me again.”

Even as we trained, I could feel that she was blocking me out.  It was the time on her class schedule when Lissa would be in her element training time and I could feel that she was building up darkness, but I couldn’t tell how.  I tried not to worry about how and why she’d be blocking me during her spirit training, but I knew that - whatever she was doing - it couldn’t be good if she was keeping me out.

“Maybe it is a surprise for you?” Dimitri offered, “Graduation is only a little more than a week away.”

“Let’s hope so,” I said, as I finished with the speed bag. _If it’s something she’s doing during her spirit training, it’s_ absolutely not _a surprise for me_ , I thought to myself.

“Time to hit the weight room,” said Dimitri, patting me on the back, “I think you can max at two hundred pounds in the leg press today, Roza.”

“Comrade, you’re killin’ me!  I think you’re doing this just so I’m not going to be able to walk right for a week if I do that,” I told him.

Dimitri replied, “Roza, if my goal was just to have you not walking right for a week, there are much more fun ways to accomplish that.”  As we made our way down the hallway to the weight room, Dimitri got close to my ear and whispered, “Besides, how else am I going to keep your _zadnitsa_ so nice and toned like this?”  He gave me a little pat on the ass as he said it, effectively letting me know exactly what _zadnitsa_ meant.  I smirked, knowing he was unintentionally teaching me more Russian swear words.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

“I know I should be excited,” Lissa told me, as I laid there on her bed while she and Jill studied for their final exams, “but I just don’t think I’m ready for the real world.  Don’t get me wrong, Rose: college seems exciting, but I just don’t feel like an ‘adult’, ready to take on the responsibilities of being at Court, starting to think about living on my own, and taking my family’s seat on the council.”

“You won’t be on your own, though, Liss.  I’ll be with you.  And so will Christian and Eddie and three other guardians,” I told her.

“Some people would love to be in your position, Lissa,” said Jill, from the bean bag chair in the corner of the room, as she peered out of her science book, “I have three more years until I get to finally graduate.  And when I finally do graduate, I can either go to an exclusively-Moroi school that only offers a handful of majors, go to live at Court, or I’ll need to go straight into the workforce and get a day job.  Normal college is ‘too dangerous’ for a Moroi without a guardian.” She used air quotes.  “When I’m home, I can’t even leave my parents’ house when it’s dark out because of the risk of Strigoi.”

Lissa blew out a big breath, pushing her bangs off of her face with it, then said, “I know, and I appreciate the fact that I get some privileges that not everyone has.  I really do.  But I’ll be in charge of a lot more than I want to be.  I’ll be making hard decisions.  It’s not what I want yet.  I’m not ready.  I don’t even know what to say.  Or do.”

“Liss,” I told her, getting off of the bed and coming to look her in the eye, “I saw you when you were speaking at the lodge in December.  You have a way with people.  When the time comes, you’ll know.  Besides, after living alone together in Portland, you and I are better prepared than most of the other seniors.”

“And at least you get to make decisions, Lissa,” Jill offered, “You’ll be a part of making the laws and choosing how our world will go.  That’s so important!  Me, I just have to follow them - unless I can somehow find a royal who wants to marry me.  That’s still better than Rose, though.”

“Hey!” I said, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jill chewed on her lip, and twisted the pencil in her hands for a minute, averting her eyes before replying.  “It’s not like you get to choose your career, Rose.  You’ve had your path all planned out for you from the day you were enrolled.  For dhampirs, it’s either be a guardian or forsake the Moroi world.  Or … worse.  I mean, I know that you love what you do and you’re so great at it and everything, but it’s pretty much all you can do.”

“It’s not like being a guardian is a bad choice, Jill.  I am happy that I’ll be Lissa’s guardian.  I’ll get to live with my best friend for the rest of our lives together.”

Jill began to shy away, but I could tell she had more to say.  “What?” I asked her, “Spit it out, Jailbait.”

“Rose,” she began, “It’s just … well … I know you’re an amazing, awesome fighter and everything, but the guardian life expectancy isn’t exactly high.  Haven’t you ever wished for something - I don’t know - _safer_?”

“If my being safer means that Lissa is more at risk, then, no.  We don’t talk about it much, but Lissa saved my life.  I owe it to her to do the same.  And even if I didn’t, I’d still want to protect her.  That goes way beyond the Strigoi, too.  Liss, I don’t want you stressing if you don’t have to.  If this whole career path thing is really stressing you, maybe you should try talking to Kirova, now that she’s back in charge again.  I know she can be a bit of a bitch sometimes, but I think she tries to do what’s right.  And she knows a lot about all this political stuff.”

“I don’t know, Rose,” said Lissa.

“It’s either that or talk to Tatiana,” I told her.  Through the bond, I could feel a chill go up Lissa’s spine.  “See?  My point exactly.”

“Okay,” Lissa said, “I’ll talk to her tomorrow.”

\--=o0/&\0o=--

I was sitting in an ice bath in the gym soaking my sore knees.  I couldn’t help but get sucked into her head as Lissa sat nervously in the waiting area of Kirova’s office.  She was getting better about keeping me out of the bond when she wanted me out and I was getting better at resisting the pull when I didn’t want to be there, but high emotions still drew me in.  Lissa was tapping her fingers on the arm of the chair, crossing and uncrossing her legs, and nervously wringing the edge of her skirt with her hands as she tried to sit and wait patiently.

“Vasilisa Dragomir,” said the receptionist from her desk, “Headmistress Kirova will see you now.”

Lissa walked in to Kirova’s office and closed the door behind herself.

“Please, have a seat, Vasilisa,” Kirova said motioning to one of the chairs in front of her desk, “What brings you to my office today?”

“Headmistress,” Lissa began, “I was hoping you could help me understand what I need to do once I leave St. Vladimir’s.  I mean, I know I’m going off to college and getting a degree, but I wasn’t entirely sure what my Court responsibilities would be as far as being on the council.”

“Well, that’s actually a simple answer, dear.  You don’t have any Court responsibilities,” Kirova laughed.  _The bitch actually laughed in Lissa’s face!_  

If it was up to me, I would’ve cold-cocked her right there for that, but Lissa was a bit more level-headed.  “What exactly do you mean, Headmistress?  Why don’t I have any Court responsibilities?”

“Princess Vasilisa, did no one tell you about the quorum law?” she asked.

“Quorum law?” Lissa asked.

“In order for you to assume a place on the council or to use voting rights, at least one other family member must be present.  In your case, you have no family members, Vasilisa.  You are ineligible for your council seat and voting rights until another Dragomir exists.  Once you have a child, you will be able to secure your seat and participate in your council role, but not until then.”

“Thank you, headmistress,” said Lissa, somewhat shocked.  She couldn’t find anything further to say, so she stood and walked out of Kirova’s office and began to head back to her dorm room.  This law completely blind-sided her. 

So many questions swirled around in Lissa’s head.  Did she want to prolong taking on the responsibilities of Court until she was older and had a family?  Was this a relief or a burden?  Did this mean that she would have to rush into having a family?  What would Christian think of this; would this scare him away - or even rush him into a proposal when neither of them were ready for marriage?  What if he left her because of this?  What if _no one_ wanted to be in a relationship with her because of the pressure to start a family? 

This was more than just a need to proliferate the Dragomir line.  Most men were scared away from _normal_ fear of commitment, but _this_ …

Lissa was so preoccupied with all of these thoughts and questions about this that she wasn’t watching where she was going and bumped right into Eddie as he was walking with Jill in the quad. 

“Lissa,” said Eddie, catching her shoulders with his hands. “Whoa, where’s the fire?”

“Is everything okay, Lissa?” asked Jill.

As Lissa looked into Jill’s face to answer her, she noticed how much Jill’s eyes reminded her of the same green she used to see when she’d look into her father’s eyes and how much her parents’ passing was more than just a loss of all of the family she loved.  The conversation with Kirova hit her even harder and she burst into tears.

“Lissa!” Jill cried, circling Lissa in a hug, “What’s wrong?”

Between sobs, Lissa bit out, “I … I … just … I can’t do this!  I don’t want to be the only member of my family anymore.  I don’t want the responsibility.  I just … I don’t want this!”

“Lissa,” Jill said, smoothing back Lissa’s hair, “What happened?”

“I … I went to talk to Headmistress Kirova … about the council, like we talked about last night … She told me … She told me that there’s this law … I guess Dragomir family doesn’t get a vote … not until there’s another Dragomir.”

“But you didn’t want to deal with all that stuff, anyway, did you, Lissa?” asked Jill, nervously tucking Lissa’s hair back behind her ear.

Lissa shook her head.  “Well … I didn’t _think_ I did …”

“So why put all of this pressure on yourself, then?” Jill asked.

I felt Lissa’s frustration and confusion welling over.  “Jill, do you remember how you were telling me yesterday about how you didn’t get any say and how being a part of the council is so important?”

“Yes,” said Jill, nodding as she repeated the motion of smoothing Lissa’s already-tucked hair behind her ear, “but you don’t have to.”

“It made me realize that I kind of want to.  But I also don’t.  And I don’t want to have a baby _yet_.  I’m not _ready_ to have a baby yet!   And what about Christian?  What if he leaves me?  I don’t think he’s ready to settle down and have a family, to start making little Dragomirs with me.”

All of sudden, it struck me how Lissa’s side of this conversation was oddly like Jill’s usual babbling.

“Wow, Lissa,” Jill said, “That _is_ really tough!  But maybe you should tell Christian about all of this?  Just try to be honest with him and see what happens?  Give him the chance to make his own choices?  You shouldn’t keep these things from him.”

“I know you’re right, Jill,” said Lissa, “but saying that I’m going to tell him and actually telling him are two very different things.”

Eddie coughed, trying to hide a laugh, and said, “Lissa, it’s not like you two haven’t been enjoying the ‘practice’ making little Dragomirs.”

Jill, in a surprisingly playful move, gave Eddie a little slap in the arm. “Knock it off, Eddie,” she told him, giggling hysterically. 

He smiled at Jill and said, “Only for you, Jilly-bean.”  Jill blushed almost painfully red as Eddie added a wink.

“C’mon, Lissa,” said Jill, threading her arm through Lissa’s, “we’ll even go walk you over there to talk to him.”

“Well,” said Lissa, “okay, I guess.”

\--=o0/&\0o=--

I got out of the ice bath as soon as the three of them began heading to Christian’s dorm and made my way there, also.  If Christian thought that he was going to leave Lissa just because he was afraid he might have to have kids early, he had another thing coming, and if Lissa didn’t, I was going to make sure to be the one to give it to him.

I ran to the dorm building, but when I got to the front doors, Lissa and the others were already climbing the stairs to his floor.  Taking them two at a time, I managed to meet them just as they arrived on his floor.

“Rose,” Lissa said, “What are you doing here?”

“Liss, I know what you’re doing.  I’m going to knock some sense into him if he can’t deal.” 

“How did you know?”  Lissa asked. 

I tapped the side of my head.  “How do you think?”

“Oh,” she said, with a frown.  She still felt like it was an invasion of her privacy for me to watch her through the bond, especially now that I could block it out better.

“I got sucked in when you were in Kirova’s waiting area,” I told her, “I couldn’t help it.  Your emotions were a jumbled mess.”

Lissa turned and said, “Jill, Eddie, you two can go.”

“Okay, Lissa,” said Jill, giving Lissa another surprisingly affectionate hug, “I just know it’ll all work out for you two.  It’ll be great.  I’m sure it will.  Just wait and see.”

Lissa grinned at Jill, and said, “You’re still not leaving.”

“I know, I know,” said Jill. 

Eddie had been standing there waiting for Jill.  “Jill, didn’t we have that _thing_ to do?” he asked, grinning.

“We do,” Jill said with a smile, “but I just want to help see Lissa through with this.  I don’t know; I just feel protective of her, almost like a sister.  I always wanted a sister - you know?”

Lissa smiled at Jill and ruffled her messy brown curls, saying, “Jailbait, if I could pick anyone in the world to be my baby sister, it’d be you ... And if I could pick anyone in the world to be my overprotective older sister, it would definitely be Rose!”

“Hey,” said Jill, “that gives me an idea.  When I’m upset like this and I need to talk to someone, I always talk to my mom.”  Lissa made a pained face and I was almost afraid of the next words out of Jill’s mouth when she said, “Oh, no!  No, no, no, no, that’s not what I meant!  I’m sorry, Lissa!  No, what I meant is, I talk to my mom about you all the time.  Since my family is on a human schedule, I’m supposed to call her tomorrow morning at six.  I know that’s kind of early, but if you’d like, maybe when I call her, you could be there with me and talk to her, too - almost like she was your mom, too.  I’m sure she’d be willing to!”

“I’d like that, Jill,” said Lissa, “I’ll stop by first thing in the morning.”

“Jailbait, I promise we’ll fill you in later,” I told her, “so you can go ahead.”  
“Okay,” Jill said again, then she grabbed Eddie's arm as if the two of them were a couple and they walked off together.

“Liss, are those two … seeing each other?” I asked.

“Mmhm,” said Lissa with a nod, “It started while he was with me during field experience.  She was just around me so much and eventually the two of them hit it off.  I think Eddie really likes her.”

“Wow,” I said, as Lissa knocked on Christian’s door, “I didn’t see that coming.”

“What do you want?”  Christian said as he threw open the door looking angry.  Then he saw Lissa’s face and immediately softened to a smile.  “Liss!  What’s up?”

“Do you have a few minutes?” Lissa asked, timidly, “It’s sort of big.”  Christian nodded and opened his door, motioning for us to enter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Independence Day last week to all of my U.S. readers. I hope no one minds that this chapter is a little bit shorter than several of the previous ones, but I wanted to make sure I still got one out. I should hopefully have another chapter out before next Monday.  
> Any thoughts on what you think Lissa might be doing while she’s blocking Rose out? Or how the conversation between Emily Mastrano and Lissa is going to go?  
> Here’s my question of the week: Have you ever had a situation where you had planned out something major (like Lissa’s political council involvement) and then realized you had to change course?  
> When I was first went off to college, I was absolutely convinced I was going to be a singer/songwriter. Almost everything in my academic career up to that point was aimed at that end. I had taken so many music classes in high school and had a private voice instructor for years and I auditioned for every musical, play, and talent show that would put me out in front of an audience. I never managed to get the lead part or win the talent show, but I always did very well. When I got to college, almost all of my freshman year classes were in music - and I quickly realized it was the biggest mistake of my life. Once I failed out of most of my freshman year classes, lost auditions (often lost to talented friends I was close to) because I was the second-best instead of the best, and dropped out of school because my dad was leaving our family and financial support with him, I ended up re-evaluating my choice in majors and starting over again. It took me an extra few years because of having to transfer schools and catch up in some subjects I was less educated in, but I’m much happier today than I would’ve been living out of a suitcase and pandering to an audience in a music career. And I managed to meet my husband along the way!


	33. The Final Countdown

As Lissa and I walked in to Christian’s room, he eyed me suspiciously.

“Does she really need to be here?” he asked.

“I’m here for moral support,” I told him.

“Why would Lissa need moral support - other than _from_ me - when talking to me?”

“It’s fine, Rose,” Lissa said, “Why don’t you head back?”  Through the bond, Lissa said, Can you listen in?  And stay close?

I nodded and left on my way back to hang out in the dorm lobby, then opened my mind up to the bond as I sat down.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

Christian laid down on his bed, his body propped up with one arm, and motioned for Lissa to join him.  Lissa laid down on the bed beside him and he circled his other arm around her.  Laying down together on the same bed was against the rules, but she was too distraught to care.  Normally, this would be something they could get busted for by the dorm matrons, but this close to the end of the semester, things got a little lax.

“Liss, what is it?” he asked as he gently stroked her back with his hand.

“Christian, have you ever heard of the quorum law?” Lissa asked.

Christian made a puzzled face as he answered, “It sounds familiar, but I can’t think of what it is.  Does it have something to do with making a new law?”

Lissa shook her head.  “Not really.  It’s about getting a seat on the council.”

“Okay … and?”

Lissa hesitated and then plunged ahead.  “In order for someone to have a seat on the council, that person must have another member of their royal family present.”

“So you’re worried that you can’t take part in any of the votes because you’re the only Dragomir?”

“No!  I mean, yes, maybe a little - _at first_ \- but, _no_!  Christian, it just seems like this is an awful lot of pressure on you.  I don’t want to lose you.”

“Lissa, why would you lose me?”

I could feel her frown as Lissa looked into his crystal blue eyes.  “Because you might feel like if you were with me, we’d have to get married and start a family right away.”

“Lissa, are you ready to get married?  Or to be a mother?”

“Well, no,” she said, “Not for sure.  But the council seat -”

Christian interrupted with, “Will wait until you’re ready for it.  Do you love me?”

“Yes, with all my heart.”

Christian kissed Lissa’s forehead and then asked, “And if we were both ready to get married and I were to ask you, would you say ‘yes’?”  Lissa took a moment and then gave an uncertain, shaky nod.  “Then don’t worry about it, Liss.”

“But -” 

Before Lissa could protest any further, he cut her off with a searing kiss.  I figured it was my opportunity to get out of there when he broke off the kiss again and said, “Lissa, I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else.  You’re the only woman I want.  You are my family and, one day, I’ll be happy to call you my wife - when you’re ready.  If that was what you wanted, I’d be happy to marry you tomorrow, but I’m not going to help make them force you into anything you’re not ready for.  There’s no urgency to be on the council before you’re ready.  When you are, I’ll be there - if you want me to - but not until then.” 

Lissa started to fight back tears of joy.  “Christian, you’re too good to me.   I love you.”

\--=o0/&\0o=--

**Lissa’s POV (rest of chapter):**

I had gotten up early to work on spirit while Rose was in her morning training, knowing that it was easier to block her out while she was with Dimitri.  She’d never told me outright, but once I found out that they had feelings for each other, I always had the feeling that they weren’t necessarily ‘training’ the whole time they were alone together in the mornings. 

I had wracked my brain a long time about what to get Rose for a graduation present.  It needed to be something absolutely perfect and with all of her injuries from fights with Strigoi, I knew just what it had to be.  If I wanted to be able to actually _surprise_ Rose with a stake that would heal her while she was fighting with it as her graduation present, though, I would need to make sure I figured out how to do the healing charm while she was otherwise occupied.  I had finally felt confident in my ability to charm an object with healing while it held other specializations’ charms.  I couldn’t do it until yesterday, with Jill and Christian charming a few of the silver rings we had with fire and water.  Dimitri had also helped, getting me an extra couple of stakes so that I could give one to Rose.  I didn’t have any wind users or earth users I felt like I could confide in, so two out of four would have to do for the test runs before I moved on to the real thing. 

I had just finished getting the ring right yesterday and started to charm the real stakes this morning.  My plan was to put the finishing touches on the first stake this afternoon during spirit training and do the second tomorrow.  Final trials and graduation were the following two days, so I was just in time.

Glancing over at the clock, I realized it was almost time to leave if I wanted to be at Jill’s room by six o’clock.  I put the stake carefully away in my desk drawer and set off to go Jill’s room.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

When I knocked on the door a few minutes later, Jill answered with a smile and a yawn.  “Lissa,” she said, “You came!  Have a seat; I was just getting set to call my mom.”

I smiled at Jill as I walked to the desk chair.  “Thank you, Jill, for inviting me.  It means a lot to me that you would welcome me to talk with your mom.”  
“Liss,” she said, “my mom is going to love you.  I’m just glad that I have the chance to share my family with you.  Before I call, how are you feeling?  What happened when you talked to Christian?”

“You were right, Jill.  I’m glad that I told him.  He really doesn’t care about the quorum law and it’s not going to break us up.  But I still don’t entirely know what I’m going to do about it.  It’s just so difficult and confusing.”

I felt a lot better after talking to Christian than I had last night before I had seen him, but honestly, my thoughts were still in chaos.  Part of me still wanted to cut through all of the noise by cutting into my skin, also, but it didn’t pull me like it had a year ago at this time when something troubling would happen.  I still kept my razor blades handy, but I knew that wasn’t the answer to my problems anymore.

“Well, I bet a few minutes talking to my mom can set you straight.  Let me get her on the phone.”  Jill picked up the receiver and dialled the phone number.  I saw her dial the 734 area code but didn’t bother to note the rest of the number after that. 

“Hi Mom!” Jill said with a giddy smile, “It’s me!” 

I couldn’t help but find it cute that Jill would feel the need to say, “it’s me,” considering that no matter who was talking, “it's me,” doesn’t really tell anyone who you are.

There was a pause and then Jill continued, “School is going really great!  We have two more days left of finals.  I can’t wait to see you on Saturday!”  She paused as her mother to say something and then said, “Well, that’s actually part of what I wanted to talk to you about, Mom.  I was hoping you could talk to Lissa.” 

Another pause.

“She’s been having some trouble lately and could really use someone to talk to.  You know that Lissa has been like a sister to me these past few months.  I was wondering if maybe you could give her some mom-like advice, since she can’t talk to her own mom anymore.  I know it’s a little strange and all, but I know you are always the one I talk to and I figured you would be able to talk to her.”

A second later, Jill was handing me the phone, saying, just before passing the phone over, “Mom, this is Lissa.  Lissa, this is my mom, Emily Mastrano.”

“Hello?” I said, into the handset.  After Jill handed me the phone, she made a hand motion and let me know she was leaving the room to give me some privacy.  I nodded.

“Hello, Lissa.  Jill has told me a lot about you.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Mastrano, for taking the time to talk to me,” I told her.

“Please,” she said, “Call me Emily.  Jill has told me so much about you and how you’ve been like a sister to her.  For all you’ve done for Jill, I feel like I owe you at least that.  Jill keeps telling me about how you have helped her with getting Moroi defense training going, to be able to learn to use a stake, or just being a friend to her when there weren’t a lot of girls her age that would.  She has really needed you and you’ve been there for her when not many other people have.”  
“Thanks again, Emily, but really, Jill has just been nothing but wonderful.  She’s often the one to make me smile.  And if not for her, we wouldn’t have done all of the defense training we’ve been in.”

“Lissa, you seem like such a nice person, but Jill hasn’t told me a lot about your family.  Why aren’t you able to talk to your mom anymore?”

That caught me by surprise.  “I thought everybody knew that, Emily.”

“Why would everybody know, Lissa?” Emily asked.

“As much as I’d like not to be, being the last Dragomir has made me sort of famous.”  
Emily drew a shaky breath and then there was silence on the other end of the phone for a few moments.  Finally, Emily gave a measured, “Oh … my … Jill never told me your last name.  I’m sorry ... I didn’t know ... I’m so sorry ...”

I felt a familiar uncomfortable twinge.  I didn’t really want another reminder that my parents had died and I wasn’t sure I wanted her pity right now.  “It’s okay, Emily.  It happened years ago.  I’m not ecstatic about it or anything, but nothing can bring them back and I’ve been trying to deal with it.  Part of grief is acceptance, so I’m trying to process that.” 

“Lissa, you’re not really what I expected from ‘Princess Vasilisa Dragomir’.  I’m honestly surprised that you’re even someone royal.  You’re so kind and sweet, and you’ve been so genuine and sincere.  I hear all about how you work hard to accomplish things and take the time to befriend and help people who aren’t royals or even Moroi.  In some ways, you remind me of your father before his seat on the council,” she said, “except you’ve worked harder.  And you already have the weight of the world on your shoulders and manage it much better than he did.”  
“Well, that’s actually what I wanted to talk with you about.  Did you know my father?”

“I did,” she said, “back before Jill was born.  I actually knew him very well.  He was troubled, but he really was a great man.”  Emily chuckled at some private joke as she added, “I was actually a little bit in love with him.”

“This might’ve been something he had to contend with, too.  Have you ever heard of the quorum law?”

“That’s not familiar to me, but I haven’t had much education in law, so I’m afraid that I’m not sure I can help you here; I honestly just don’t know a lot about such things,” Emily said.

Thankfully, I’d had some time to research the quorum law last night and knew a little more now than what Headmistress Kirova had told me.  “Well, I’m not really sure what to do because of it.  At the heart of it, the law states that the spirit of the council is that a family’s representative speaks for all members of the royal family, so to show that the family supports the representative’s decision and that the family is in accordance with what the representative has to say, another family member must be present for all votes.”

Emily was silent again for another moment, then said, “Alright.  So what is troubling you about this, Lissa?”

“I’ll be turning eighteen in about a month.  Once I am, I’m old enough to take my family’s place on the council … in theory.  But, since I don’t have any other family members, I’m not allowed to serve on any votes.  So, in order for the Dragomir seat to be filled, I would have to get married and have a baby.”

Emily’s voice sounded sympathetic as she said, “And you’re not ready for that, are you, Lissa?”

“In all honesty, I’m not even sure I’m ready to take the seat on the council.  I would, though, because I know it’s the right thing to do.  But I don’t want to have to get married and have a baby just so I _can_ do it.  Being an adult is hard enough without having to think about being a mother.”

Emily breathed an audible sigh that almost sounded like relief.  “Jill told me you’re seeing someone.  Did she say his name was Christopher?  How does your boyfriend feel about all this?  If he isn’t willing to get married, then that makes your answer so much easier.”

“Christian, actually.”  I smiled.  “He really loves me and just wants me to be happy.  He told me that he’d propose tomorrow if that was what I wanted.”

“And do you love him enough to be married to him and have children together?”  
“I do.  But we haven’t even been together a full year yet.  I don’t think we’re ready for that, even if he thinks he is.”

“I had Jill when I was very young, like you.  I was alone to do it, too - Emily’s step-father John and I got married a few years later and he adopted Jill later.  Whether you’re alone or not, though, it really is tough to be a mother when you’re so young.  But being a princess might mean that you have some extra privileges that would make raising a child a little bit easier.  That’s not the only thing that matters, though.  What about what you want?” she asked, “If you weren’t so worried about responsibilities and difficulties of marriage and parenthood, would you still want to be on the council?”

“It’s what I’ve been preparing for since the day I was born.  It’s my birthright, and - more importantly - it’s just the right thing to do.  Someone needs to go out there and stand up for the people who don’t have a political voice.”

“And that can’t wait a few years until you finish college and want to get married on your own?”

“See, I just don’t know.  There are so many issues coming through the council now that it just doesn’t seem right not to give the dhampirs and the non-royal Moroi someone who will speak for them during this time.  People like you, Emily, who will never have a guardian, or dhampirs who aren’t ready to be guardians - or who don’t want to be guardians at all - need someone to speak up for them.  All Moroi have the right to defend themselves.  And all dhampirs have a right to choose their occupation and timing instead of being forced to risk their lives to defend someone else.”

“Lissa, you sound very passionate about this.  And I think you’re choosing this for the right reasons.  Could I ask you a strange favor?”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Thanks to my friendship with your father, I still have some political connections at Court.  I’m going to be there at St. Vladimir’s on graduation day to help Jill move out.  Can you just put this from your head for a few days while I put some thought into this and do some more research?  Maybe I can come up with something that might help with your decisions on this.”

I thought about it for a second.  I didn’t think that there was anything that Emily could do, but I knew that she had some connections.  Maybe she could lobby to have the quorum law changed on my behalf.  The political climate was a lot more open to giving me the chance to vote than it would’ve been before the defense and rescues in the attack at St. Vladimir’s a few months ago had been so successful.

“Okay,” I said, “I’ll talk to you then.”

“Good.”  
“Thanks, Emily,” I told her, “It’s nice to have a mom to talk to again.”

“You’re welcome, Lissa.  You can’t imagine how nice it’s been to talk to you.  If your father were alive to see this, he’d be very proud of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you can forgive me for using a song name in the chapter title again. I know I’ve had some authors’ stories grace me with earworms for weeks based on the titles that were also song names. As the chapter name might suggest, Rose’s final trials will be in the next chapter. Be prepared for some steamy Romitri love following the trials.  
> I hope you liked the liberties I’ve been taking with the friendship between Lissa and Jill. I figure that without Lissa and Christian’s breakup or Avery’s compulsion intervention, things between those two would just be much more congenial.  
> We’re into the home stretch now and I’m thinking we have maybe three to four more chapters to go after this. Did the charming of the stake catch anyone by surprise? What do you think Emily is going to do?


	34. Trials and Tribulations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature content not suited for younger readers in the second to last section. I apologize in advance for the buzz kill at the end.

The morning of the trials, Dimitri met me outside of my dorm.  It was already early evening (human time), but it was late enough into the summer that the sun was still blazing down.

“Comrade, what are you doing here?” I asked him.

“I thought you could use some motivation before the trials,” he told me, “And there’s a betting pool for whether you’d make it on time.  If you had taken any longer, I was going to come upstairs and get you.” 

Not showing up on time was an automatic disqualification and meant failing the trials.

“Is there still time to get in on that?” I asked, “What are the odds?  I could still back out and make some sweet bank on this.”

“Not a chance, Roza - I put down fifty dollars that you’d show up.  Actually, your father is here and he is the one who organized the pool.”

“Figures he’d go into the bookie business along with all of the other stuff he does.  Maybe cutting his losses by planning to make a little pocket change when I didn’t live up to his expectations.” 

“I’m starting to believe that somewhere deep down, he has a sense of honor.  He came here today to support you and watch you succeed, Roza.  He really seems to believe in you.  He put down a hundred dollars that you would show.  And I think he knows how badly you want to be there to do this.”

“I do want to.  I want to be Lissa’s guardian.”

“Besides,” he said, pitching his voice low, “I know how badly we _both_ want you to get to a ranking that’s high enough so that we wouldn’t have to hide our relationship over the summer.  If you’re okay with it, I was thinking maybe we could even put in a request to live in shared quarters while we’re both at Court.”

I told him with a grin, “Comrade, you’re motivating me already.”

“With your skill and the things you’ve already faced, Roza, I feel like the trials are almost just a formality for you.  If I weren’t involved in setting up the trials, I’d feel like this was a waste of everyone’s time to have you actually go through with this.”

“Involved in setting up the trials?  So you can tell me what to expect today?” I asked him, giving him my man-eater smile.

“No,” he told me, very tight-lipped, “The trials are designed to test your skill in every situation you might encounter.  We just happen to know that you might encounter some situations that other people will not.”

“Meaning Adrian.”  I’d tried not to think of Adrian the past few weeks, despite training even harder for the sole purpose of defeating him.  Though I still hadn’t seen most of them, the letters from Adrian continued to come in the mail each day.  Dimitri, Alberta, and other members of the St. Vladimir’s staff had continued to intercept all of the letters that he had sent to those of us on campus.  Alberta knew that I was aware of them, but told me that she’d hold onto them in the meantime and asked me not to worry about them until after graduation. 

 _“Getting through your final trials is hard enough on its own,”_ she had said, _“No reason to put even more pressure on you by seeing, in detail, the fresh hell that’s waiting for you when you finish.”_   Preferring to be prepared for whatever I face, I can’t say that I whole-heartedly agree with that, but I understood why she had done it and appreciated that it helped me keep my focus. I didn't need the distraction.

“Yes, meaning Adrian,” he replied, “And other things.  You’re going to be the primary protector of a princess who represents her entire royal line, as well as its future.  You have to be the best.  Being the best will keep you alive.  Both of you.”

When we reached the wooden barracks where the novices would wait before the trials, I appeared to be the last one to arrive, but they still hadn’t started yet.  Other novices were standing there, some with their own mentors, waiting for their names to be called.

“How nice of you to join us, Miss Hathaway,” Stan said, with a sneer.

Dimitri told him, loud enough that I could catch it, holding his face in his typical guardian mask, “Zmey will expect that money in cash, after Rose finishes her trials.”

The rest of the time before the trials passed by in a blur.  A few moments after we stepped into the barracks, Janine came by to wish me luck, surprising me with an awkward hug.

Once Alberta finally called my name, I turned to face Dimitri one last time before I readied to head out.  “You can do this, Roza,” he said, then I turned to head into the arena. 

To my surprise, Dimitri followed me in.  “What are you doing?” I asked him.

“You’ll see,” he said.

Alberta came over to give me my instructions as the director of the trials.  She said, “For the majority of the course, you’ll be escorting your ‘Moroi’ from one side to the other, safeguarding him from ‘Strigoi’.  Guardian Belikov will be playing the part of your very pregnant Moroi.  He will be wearing an ‘empathy belly’ - a device that makes the wearer appear pregnant and simulates the aches, pains, and extra weight of pregnancy.  As a pregnant Moroi, Guardian Belikov will walk slowly, become a larger target, and will be unable to lift anything heavier than forty pounds.  Once he is no longer wearing the belly, he is no longer a pregnant Moroi.”

I looked over at Dimitri and saw that he was now wearing the belly, securing the straps across each of his shoulders.  I tried to stifle a laugh, but it managed to bubble up regardless.  He grinned back at me for just a moment, then returned to his guardian mask and faced Alberta.

Alberta continued, “You’ll follow the cones and the yellow markings along the course until you’ve reached the finish.  When I blow this whistle, the trial will begin.  The Strigoi will follow when I blow it again.  Do you understand?”

I nodded.  “Do you have any questions, Novice Hathaway?”

“No.”

Alberta nodded and then blew the whistle.  Dimitri and I set out along the course and he moved exceptionally slow.  A few minutes after the whistle blew, we got to what looked like a balance beam two feet in the air.

“Okay, Dimitri, I’m going to need you to get up on the beam now,” I told him.

Dimitri put on a surprisingly good show of being a panicked pregnant Moroi, faking a breathy feminine voice.  “I can’t do it, Guardian Hathaway.  It’ll hurt my baby.  And I don’t think I can climb that high.”  If he lost his job as a guardian, he might’ve had a future in Hollywood as an actor. 

“I’ll help you,” I told him, imagining he was actually a pregnant Moroi.

“Lift me, please,” he said. 

“How about I give you a push up?” He nodded.  With quite a lot of effort, I was able to help lift all two hundred fifty pounds of Dimitri and his pregnant belly and get him up on the beam.  After a few steps, he wobbled and I just barely caught him without ‘injuring’ the belly.

“The pregnancy makes me woozy,” he said, with a feigned dizziness, placing the back of his hand to his forehead, “And a little bit clumsy.”

“I can see that,” I told him.

We continued on our way, one of my hands providing him extra support and helping to keep him moving.  Just before we entered a maze within the obstacle course, Dimitri removed the empathy belly, setting it down out of the way, and began to move closer to the speed of a typical Moroi.  We wound our way through the darkened maze, but our progress was slow.  Dhampir eyesight helped me to see where I was going, but the others all had night vision goggles on in the maze to simulate the Strigoi and Moroi’s enhanced vision. 

We had to have been inside the maze for nearly ten minutes when the whistle blew again.  I heard a rustling sound coming from Dimitri. 

“You will have thirty seconds to get away from me,” he told me, grasping my hand for just a moment and then releasing it.

“Why?” I asked him.

“I won’t hold back,” he told me, “Not at all.  Don’t be afraid to hurt me like you did when you cracked my ribs.”

From Alberta’s megaphone, I heard her announce, “When the next whistle blows, Guardian Belikov will be switching sides and will become one of our Strigoi.”

 _Oh.  Shit._  

I ran as fast as I could to get away from Dimitri and out of the maze, into the light where I could see what I was doing.  Dimitri, with his added height and his own practiced running, was faster than me and I knew that he could catch up to me quickly.  As I neared the exit of the maze, another whistle blew and I could hear his heavy footsteps approaching. 

Being chased by a dhampir Dimitri couldn’t truly compare to the fear of being chased by a real Strigoi, but nonetheless, I’d never had to run from a Strigoi before and I found myself afraid.  I knew that he would fight me as hard as he had during my field experience, if not harder.  Adrenaline was coursing through me.  I pumped my arms and legs as fast as I could, urging my muscles to go faster than they ever had.

Just as I reached daylight at the end of the maze, Dimitri’s arm reached out and he clamped a hand around my bicep.  I spun out of his grasp and darted for the light, turning to face him, practice stake in hand.  Knowing that the path was still clear in the direction I was headed, I continued to back my way out of the maze, where I had the advantage.  Dimitri quickly pulled the night vision goggles off of his face as I took a few more steps back onto the path. 

A few steps up ahead was a wobbly-looking rope bridge.  I just had to make it there and I knew how to lose him, but getting there would be a challenge.

Not waiting for me to go on the defensive, Dimitri swung out with his arm.  I deflected his fist with my free hand, just in time, with a few inches to spare before it would’ve hit my face.  Before I had a chance to retaliate, Dimitri moved into an aerial spinning kick, launching his foot into where my rib cage would’ve been.  In a rather Matrix-like move, I dodged it by bending at the knee, with my free hand landing on the ground behind me to catch my body weight and then propel me back up again. 

I dimly heard several shouts from the crowd as I made that move, but I didn’t have time to focus on them. I immediately launched back in to swipe out at him with my stake.  I didn’t connect with his chest, but I did manage to make a narrow slice in his shirt, revealing the protective plate underneath that kept the practice stakes from doing any real damage.  Dimitri recoiled as a real Strigoi would, giving me a moment to make my way to the bridge.

Once I was on the bridge, I could only hope that it wasn’t as strong as it looked.  As Dimitri pursued, I tried jumping to make the bridge sway, hoping he’d fall off, but he held firm.

“You can’t stop me that easily, Rose,” he told me, “And you can’t kill me, either. You won’t be able to do it.”

“Wanna bet?” I told him, as I searched for my knife to try to cut the bridge.  I only hoped that the knife they gave us was actually sharp.  I knew that I’d have to cut through two cables to drop the bridge, so I had to hope I could do it before he got to me.

As the knife finished slicing through the first cable, Dimitri jumped, jostling the bridge.  The knife got bumped and knocked out of my hand from the sudden jolt.  I felt the knife slice deeply into my palm as it went flying. 

“Damn!” I exclaimed,as I wiped the blood from my hand onto the back of my pants and worked to make my way across the rest of the bridge as quickly as I could.  Because of the way it was built, Dimitri couldn’t get across the bridge much faster than I could.  I had a head start, but I knew that he’d still catch up to me.  I knew I couldn’t fight him on the bridge.

In order to finish the course, you were allowed to divert from the main path without lowering your score as long as you were adjacent to the path and got back on it within sixty seconds.  There were, however, designated areas - ‘kill zones’ - that were marked as an automatic death on the course, but as long as you stayed away from them, you were considered to be able to continue.  The area directly under the bridge on the side towards the railing I’d cut was marked as a kill zone, and so was the area underneath it, but the area five feet to the other side was not marked as a kill zone. 

Dimitri was too heavy; he’d never be able to jump that far, but could I?  _Did I dare?_

I stood up on the edge of the rope bridge, lifting a leg over it.

“Rose, what are you doing?” Dimitri asked.

“Going where you can’t follow.”  I pulled my other leg over the railing, sitting on the edge, preparing to jump for it.

Dimitri lunged for me, grappling my arm just before I pushed off of the railing. 

“You can’t win, Rose,” he said.  He’d designed this challenge just for me - for my trials.  To experience what it was like to have to fight and kill someone you know and care for.  Someone who was stronger and faster than I was and had no qualms about ending me.  I wouldn’t die from these trials, but failing them would mean that my life as I knew it could be over.  The experience was frighteningly real, in far too many ways. 

But I was in his grasp and he could only reach me with that one hand.  I took the opportunity and spun around, embedding the tip of my practice stake in his chest plate, causing his eyes to widen in surprise.  His grasp on me released as he called out, “Dead!” and I found myself jumping for the side, just making it to the safe area.

The rest of the course passed by much more quickly, before I even realized what was happening.  Someone handed me a bottle of water.

“Is that it?” I asked, noticing my mother was the one handing me the water.

Janine replied, “Is that it?  Your trials lasted an hour and a half.  Not only were you fast and strong, you outsmarted every other guardian out there - including the ones who made up the course for you.  That might be the best trials performance that any novice has ever had.”  She was beaming with pride, a look I’d never before seen from my mother.

“Really?  I didn’t think it was all that much better than anyone else.”

“I’ve never seen Guardian Belikov look like that before.  You’ve made your mentor so proud.”

“Speaking of Dimitri,” I said, as I looked around, “Where is he?”

“He had to go somewhere, but he left a note for you,” she said, handing me a sealed envelope with Dimitri’s writing on it.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

As I walked towards the cabin,  Dimitri was nowhere to be seen.  _He must be inside_ , I thought to myself.

The door was locked.  I knocked on it.  Dimitri’s voice called out, “Who is it?”  

“It’s Rose,” I told him.

I heard the door being unlocked and then Dimitri said, “Come in, please, Roza,” as he opened up the door.

If I hadn’t been holding the door, I might’ve fallen over.  The sight that greeted me when I opened it was possibly the best surprise of my entire life.  The cabin was dark except for several small lit candles throughout the room.  Sitting on the table near the door were what looked to be a dozen chocolate donuts, arranged on a platter.  Dimitri was standing there holding a bouquet of the most beautiful red orchids and calla lilies I’d ever seen and wearing only a very small damp towel, the ends of his hair hanging loose and curling slightly from what I could only assume was a recent shower. 

“Congratulations, Roza,” he said, his accent already thickening ... along with _other_ things, “You did amazing in your trials.  Here are some flowers for you.  We’ll have to keep them at the cabin, but I hoped you could at least enjoy them here.  Would you like to unwrap your present now?”  He glanced meaningfully down at the towel wrapped around himself - and at the quickly-forming tent under that towel.

I closed the door behind me and locked it, telling him, “I think I would.”  I took the flowers from his hand and set them down on the table, then wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling him closer.  My free hand tugged the towel, letting it fall to the floor as Dimitri began unbuttoning my shorts. 

My hand began working up and down along his engorged length, stroking and pumping.  Dimitri had already begun moaning by the time my lips met his. 

Dimitri pulled back from my lips and told me, “This celebration was supposed to be about you, Roza.  I was hoping to shower together and then spend the afternoon showing you how much I love you over and over again.  Let me bring you pleasure.”

“You will,” I told him, as I began kissing my way down his chest, “Bring me pleasure by letting me make you come.  Dimitri, you’re mine; _no one else_ can have you.  Let me enjoy that you’re mine - and show you how much you can enjoy _being_ mine.”

By the time I’d gotten to the last word, my mouth was already at his navel.  I licked my way down his abs, circling his belly button, then continued on my path downwards, kneeling on the floor in front of him.  Dimitri couldn’t hold back his empassioned groans as my mouth made contact with his testicles.  I ran my tongue over each of them, like an ice cream cone, occasionally blowing gently between licks. 

After a few months of ‘practice’, I felt like I had learned exactly how and where Dimitri liked to be licked.  In the heat of the moment the previous week, he’d told me that I was better with my mouth than any woman he had ever known.  I tried not to dwell on how many others he might’ve known about personally, but I knew that I could use that to my advantage. 

I let my mouth drift along the base of his shaft and slowly licked my way around it in a circle.  Dimitri said, “Oh, Roza,” as my tongue came to the sensitive vein along the ridge of his erection.  Dimitri had both hands fisted tightly into my hair, cupping the back of my head.  I flicked my tongue along it repeatedly, causing his groans to increase.  “Oh yes!” he cried, “I love what you do with your mouth.”

As I got to the crown, I swirled my tongue along the outside edge, making his groans turn to yells.  Dimitri began a string of Russian in-between his yells.  I couldn’t understand his words, but I had a feeling that they weren’t words I was going to get him to teach me.  I licked along the sensitive slit of his tip and Dimitri began bucking his hips, now helpless to form words in any language, just mindlessly yelling.  I could taste the beginnings of his release and flicked my tongue back and forth across him, sending my Russian god into a fury.

“ _Pozhaluysta_ ,” he begged mindlessly, “Please.”

I pulled away and looked into his warm dark brown eyes, the look on his face nearly scorching me.  “Please what?” I asked with a sly grin and gave his tip one long, slow lick.

“Please take me deep into your mouth, Roza,” he told me, practically growling as he added, “ _Now_.”

I circled the entire crown in one slow, lazy lick again, then backed away again and asked, looking into his eyes, “Are you gonna come for me, Dimitri?” and then immediately wrapped my lips around his head, taking him as deep into my throat as I could.

“Oh god, yes!”  he yelled, as I began stroking and pumping his excess length with my fist and moving my head up and down, letting his erection move in and out of my mouth.  I hollowed out my cheeks when he cried, “Oh god, harder, Roza!”

As I continued to suck and pump, Dimitri cried out, “Roza, I love you so much!  You’re the only woman I ever want!  I’m yours and you are mine - _forever_!  I want you in my bed and on my cock for the rest of my life!”

I tried to prolong his climax as long as I could, but Dimitri was just too far gone and his excitement was only adding to my own.  I found myself moaning uncontrollably from knowing how much pleasure I was giving him and knowing that his pleasure would almost certainly lead to my own.  Within a few moments, I felt his pulsing release and his warm seed filling my mouth. 

\--=o0/&\0o=--

As I stood up, Dimitri told me, “I love you with all my heart.  I’m so glad you did so well on your trials.  I can’t wait until we can be together at Court.”

“I feel the same way,” I told him.

“There’s nothing stopping us from it now.  Now take off your clothes and get in the bathroom, so I can show you with my hands and tongue just how much I appreciate you,” he told me.

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” I said as I pulled off my t-shirt and dropped it to the floor.  I began loosening the tie on my shorts, walking into the bathroom.

Suddenly, the jingle of keys at the door caught both our ears at the same time.

“Is that you, Dimitri?” a familiar voice called as we heard the sound of the door unlocking,  “I would’ve been here sooner but there was a problem with the keys.  Someone said you had already checked them out.”

Dimitri pulled a towel off of the rack and pulled it around his waist.  The door opened.  “Did you tell me to - wow, Dimitri, this is really romantic!  I knew you would change your m-”  Tasha saw me in the bathroom doorway.  “Rose!  Oh!  What the hell?  You need to leave, Rose.  Dimitri, get dressed.  It’s time for the grown-ups to have a talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’d you think? Once again, sorry for the buzz kill at the end there. Hopefully you still got a nice shot of some steamy Romitri action before Tasha had to go and ruin everything. Did I do justice to how Rose’s trials would’ve gone with Dimitri planning them out and knowing about Lissa’s potential desire to get past the quorum law? Did you like the bridge scene? We’re closing in on the last few chapters before the Happily Ever After. Next chapter may have a bigger surprise in store for you, so stay tuned.  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> Have you ever worn an empathy belly or have you or a close loved one been pregnant during your memory? If so, what was it like for you?  
> For me, I couldn’t possibly love any human being more than my child, but pregnancy and the early postpartum period was the absolute worst experience of my life. During pregnancy, I had false labor contractions throughout the entire pregnancy, there was absolutely no comfortable sleeping position, I had to pee four times a night, I would get dizzy and nearly black out every time I’d go to stand up, and I had a condition called hyperemesis (excessive vomiting during morning sickness - at the worst point, I threw up SEVEN TIMES in one day!) that lasted three weeks past the point when morning sickness was normally supposed to end.


	35. Down Comes the Hammer

**Dimitri’s POV:**

My heart was in my throat as I heard Tasha’s voice saying, “Is that you, Dimitri?  I would’ve been here sooner but there was a problem with the keys.  Someone said you had already checked them out.”

Rose was standing there in the bathroom doorway, her shirt laying across the room, holding the tie on her workout shorts.  I grabbed the other towel off of the rack to quickly cover myself as the door opened.  “Did you tell me to - wow, Dimitri, this is really romantic!  I knew you would change your m-”  Her eyes locked on Rose.  “Rose!  Oh!  What the hell?  You need to leave, Rose.  Dimitri, get dressed.  It’s time for the grown-ups to have a talk.”

Rose picked up her shirt and threw it back on over her head, but stood where she was and looked at Tasha defiantly.  _Oh, Roza, I love your fire, but this is_ so _not the time for it._

“I’ll be fine, Rose,” I told her, securing the towel around my waist better, “I’ll see you later.”

“Fine,” she said, “I’ll go.  But I’m taking the donuts with me.”  Rose gave me a questioning look, then said, “The trials are over, right?  And I’ve already earned my initial guardian ranking of at least a new black moon, right?”

I understood the hidden meaning of her question:  _so we don’t have to hide our relationship as much anymore_.  In theory, we should wait until we had left campus, but Tasha already knew enough.  And there really wasn’t very much anyone could do at this point.  Perhaps it would be better for Tasha to know we were together, as long as we kept the circle small enough.  I inhaled for focus and gave her a sharp nod.

“I love you, Dimitri,” Rose told me, pressing a brief kiss to my lips, causing both Tasha and I a little shock at what had just happened.  “I’m going to go get changed and showered, and then I’ll head over to Lissa’s dorm until the promise mark ceremony.” Rose walked out of the cabin, bumping Tasha’s hip - _hard_ \- on her way out of the door.  As soon as she was out the door, Rose began to jog away.

By the time I realized that she had left her athletic bag by the door, Rose had already gotten far off into the distance.  I decided I’d bring the bag to her at Lissa’s room later, after Tasha and I talked.

I went into the bathroom and threw on my pants as quickly as I could, wracking my brain for what to say and how to say it.  I tossed my shirt on, but didn’t bother to fasten the buttons.  When I exited the bathroom, Tasha was sitting on the bed with her hands in her lap, staring expectantly at the bathroom doorway.

“What is this, Dimitri?” she asked me. 

I didn’t answer.  I couldn’t.

“How long?” she asked.

I stayed silent again.

“How ... _long_?” she asked, raising her voice to near-yelling.

I inhaled again for patience and sat at the chair across from the bed. “Long enough.”

“Dimitri, she’s a child,” she said, “How could you do this to her?  This is inappropriate.  Think about your job.  Think about _hers_.”

“She’s not a child,” I told her.

“Not anymore,” Tasha said, “She would’ve had to grow up pretty fast, considering what I just walked in on.”

“That’s not what I mean, Tasha.  She’s eighteen.”

“Was she when this started?”  I couldn’t respond.  “Was she eighteen before you slept with her?”

I put my head in my hands and shook it.  My voice was barely audible as I replied, “No.  Not quite.  But she has had to face more than most women ten years older than she is.  And I love her.”

“You _love_ her?  Was she the reason you turned me down in January?”

“There are a lot of reasons I turned you down, Tasha.  But I’d be lying if I told you she wasn’t a part of it.  Even then, I loved her with all my heart.”

“With all your heart?  Were you already sleeping with her then?”

“No,” I told her.

“But you wanted to, then, didn’t you?  Was she the reason you requested a position at Court?  Even if it meant a desk job?”

I would’ve been lying if I told her Rose wasn’t the reason for that, too, but I needed to make Tasha understand.  “I didn’t know it would turn out like this, Tash.  I just knew how I felt about her.  Just before the attack, I actually decided to cut ties with her.  I tried to deny this.  I pushed her away and applied to stay on at St. Vladimir’s as an instructor.  St. Vladimir’s rejected my application and then Rose … Rose is like a force of nature!  I couldn’t deny her.”

“Dimitri, I understand that you think she makes you happy.  And I really want to let you be happy, but this is wrong.  You know this is wrong.  I have to tell someone, Dimitri.  Even if she’s eighteen now, this was statutory rape when it started - maybe even _child molestation_!  You could go to _jail_ for this!  Her status as a guardian could still be stripped because all of your mentorship could be put into question.  Did you even actually train her - or was it all just sex?  Dimitri, you have to cut ties with her and move on to a healthier relationship - with an adult.”

This was going down a rabbit-hole that I didn’t want it to go down.  “Tasha, no one who’s going to come forward knows that this started before she turned eighteen.  And no one is going to question her training or skill as a guardian.  Rose passed her final trials this morning with maybe the best score of any novice in history.  Once we leave here, Rose and I can be together.”

“Dimitri, don’t make me come forward with this.  You’re still scheduled to be my guardian.  I haven’t withdrawn my request.  When you get to Court, I’ll take you far away from her and everything will be fine.”  Tasha put her arms around my neck, drawing me closer.  “We can still be a couple, Dimitri.  You can be with an adult, who has adult feelings and adult experiences.  I can please you in ways that a child like Rose never could.  And I can give you the family you’ve always dreamed of.” 

Tasha has always been my friend, but I was starting to get irritated with this.  For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out where this was all coming from.  “For the last time, Tasha, Rose is not -”  The door crashed open.

Adrian Ivashkov.  With those sinister red eyes.  My stakes were across the room.

Before either of us could react further, Adrian had moved across the room and pulled Tasha into a standing position in front of him and holding her arms behind her back, his fangs poised at her neck.  Tasha tried to wriggle free of his grasp, but his grip was like iron on her and she couldn’t break free.

“Well, well, well.  Candles, flowers, intimate setting, arms around each other, wet hair and a towel, opened shirt ...  the evidence speaks for itself.  I don’t know what I thought I was worried about.  Give it a few months and you’ve clearly moved on from Rose, Belikov.  I don’t know why I thought I’d need to be the one to kill you.  It’ll be so much more fun when I let Rose see this little love nest you’ve set up and let her do it herself.”

Adrian continued.  “Joke’s on you, though, Dimitri.  Did you know that your father was my uncle?  I bet you didn’t know that Tasha’s grandmother on the Szelsky side was Aunt Tatiana’s sister, though.  We’re one big happy family!  We’re all cousins!”

_They come first._   “Hurt her and I will end you, Adrian.”

“You and I both know you’re not carrying a weapon right now, Dimitri.  And I’ve just disabled hers.  Try anything at all and your kissin’ cousin here is toast.  I suspect that it would bother you if I were to kill her, too.  So that means I have leverage!  Now, tell me quick - where’s Rose?  I know she’s been here - the smell of her blood is so strong that I could smell it from outside.  Now that I’m here, I smell her _everywhere_ in here.  Oh, man, Dimitri - are you doing them _both_?”  Adrian gave a dry laugh.  “I guess some of the Ivashkov ‘skills’ really did stick with you.”

Adrian inhaled deeply, scenting the air, and I saw him gaze over at Rose’s bag.  _The blood she wiped on her pants when she cut her hand._   It had led him right to us.  If Tasha hadn’t come, Rose and I would both be here with Adrian, defenseless and naked - and likely both dead.

“Rose isn’t here,” I told him tightly, trying to hold back as much information as I could.

“Where is she?” he asked.

Rose kept her stakes in her bag.  Without the bag, she didn’t have a chance against him.

“Where?” he asked again, ratcheting his grip on Tasha and dragging his fangs along her neck.  Tasha hissed in pain as he left a red gash in the wake of his mouth.  “I won’t ask again, Belikov.”

Hands raised defensively, I gasped out, “I don’t know where Rose is!”

“Oh, come now,” said Adrian, “you must have some ideas of where she might go …  If you cooperate with me, since I can see that you and Rose clearly don’t have a future together - what with you boinking this one and all - I might even let you live long enough for Rose to kill you after I Awaken her.”

I knew that the promise mark ceremony was set for three o’clock and that Zmey was planning a party for Rose and Lissa after that, but those events weren’t scheduled to happen for several hours.  If another guardian were to intercept Adrian on his way to Rose, she would be safe.  If not, my one chance was that he would find her somewhere that she could get another stake.  _The princess!_   But I could never intentionally bring down an especially lethal Strigoi on my own charge, especially someone who was not only the last Dragomir, but also Rose’s best friend.

Tasha bit out, “If I tell you, will you promise to let Christian live?”

“Oh, now there’s a good girl,” said Adrian, “You know where she is - don’t you?”

“Yes!” she hissed.

Adrian tightened his grip on Tasha’s neck again.  “Where?”

“Promise me!” Tasha begged.

“I promise,” Adrian replied, almost too quickly.

“She was going to shower and change and then she was on her way to Lissa’s dorm room!” Tasha exclaimed, the tightness of Adrian’s grasp making her voice hoarse.

“You didn’t let me finish, my beautiful,” Adrian sniffed the cut on her neck deeply, “ _delicious_ -smelling, royal Moroi!  I promise that I will let you die quickly and painlessly.  I really could use the power-up.  Nothing like a little top-off of related royal blood.  Unlike your - equally-tasty, I’m sure - nephew, who I might keep on hand for a doggie bag, if I come across him.”  Tasha struggled and jerked to be free of his grasp again, but he held her firm.  “I suspect he’d put up less of a fight than you, anyways, Tasha.”  Adrian licked the cut on Tasha’s neck, earning a cringe from her.  “Now, as for your rather tall dhampir friend ... since I think I’d like to save that for a certain lovely brunette I’ll be seeing shortly, but I can’t have you following me, either -”

I hadn’t noticed during the time that Tasha had been his hostage that Adrian had been moving steadily closer to me.  In one motion, Adrian snapped Tasha’s neck with the hand at her throat and punched me in the face with the other hand.  I should’ve known from our Moroi defense training that Adrian was the one among the Moroi group who could throw a good punch.  Couple that with his enhanced accuracy, speed, and strength and he had landed a knockout punch.  Darkness swirled at the edges of my vision as I fell into unconsciousness, helplessly seeing Tasha’s body go limp and lifeless in Adrian’s arms, her head bent at an odd angle.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

**Rose’s POV:**

I was just getting finished with the longest shower I’d taken in weeks, feeling totally refreshed and at ease.  Dimitri was finally going to deal with Tasha, and all I had to do was wait. Suddenly, I felt myself getting sucked into Lissa’s head.  Overwhelming, paralyzing fear suffused her.

Lissa was in her dorm room with Jill.  They had been trying on dresses from Lissa’s closet for the party later on.  But they weren’t alone.

Lissa spoke into my mind through the bond.  _Rose, get Dimitri and the guardians._

“My, my, my, Lissa,” murmured a cold voice next to her ear as she felt the tie of her robe unfasten.  Jill was lying unconscious on the floor with blood dripping down the side of her neck, but I could still see the slow movement of her chest rising and falling.  “Don’t you just look so sexy in this little number under your robe.  I was only hoping to use you as bait for our lovely little dhampir, but I might have to take some fringe benefits out of you while I’m here.”

That voice sent chills through me.  It was Adrian, but _not_ Adrian.  If I’d ever thought he was evil before, I knew in that instant that I was gravely mistaken.

As I continued to watch what was progressing in Lissa’s head, I grabbed the first clothes I could find, not caring what I it was, and started to throw them on.  Dimitri would still be with Tasha, but I could go to Alberta’s office.

“Adrian,” Lissa coaxed, “I’m the last Dragomir.  You know you don’t want to end the Dragomir line.  This isn’t you.”  I could feel that she was trying to use compulsion on him.

“That only works on mortals, Lissa,” he said, “Isn’t that right, Rose?”

He knew I was listening?

A second later, Adrian said, “Rose agrees with me.  She’s seen other Moroi try to use it on me.”

What is he talking about?

“Rose says she thought you might be able to lead me to the real Rose  or that I might be able to lure her here with you.  She thought you’d at least make good bait.”

Not only is Adrian a Strigoi - he’s completely off his rocker!  I finished getting dressed and began running as fast as my feet would carry me towards Alberta’s office.

Lissa glanced over at Jill.  Was it my imagination or was her breathing getting slower?

“How did you get here?” Lissa asked, clearly stalling him for time.

“Car.  I do know how to drive,” he told her.

“That’s not what I meant,” she said.

“Glove.  Stake. Wards.  Any more questions?  Just in case she wanted to try anything clever, I started a clock when I got here.  I know from our defense training that it takes Rose twenty minutes to run all the way across campus and back.  The clock started counting down two minutes ago.  If it gets to twenty, we’re leaving before the guardians come running.”

I wasn’t certain what to do.  If they were going to leave before I could get the message to Alberta, I wasn’t sure that there was a reason to get to her.  But my stakes were all in my bag, which I left somewhere.  I didn’t know where it was.

I could go get Dimitri, but Alberta’s office was closer than he was.  If I went to Lissa’s dorm unarmed, we’d probably both die.  I doubled my pace to try to get to Alberta’s office, but it didn’t help that I had to get dressed first.  I was already short on time.

Lissa kicked Adrian in the shin, causing him to spin her around to face him, pushing her back into the desk behind her so hard that she’d probably have bruises on the backs of her thighs.  Lissa heard a clinking metallic sound coming from the desk, but didn’t register what might’ve caused it.  Adrian was now facing Lissa, front to front, pressed up against her.  Her robe was open and she could feel his body pressed up against hers.  Chills ran up and down her body.

“Why, Princess Dragomir,” Adrian said, “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to seduce me.”  Lissa struggled again, issuing Adrian an elbow to the ribs.  “And if I didn’t know better,” Adrian added, “I’d think it was working.”  He turned her face up to look into his sickeningly red eyes.  “Kiss me,” he commanded, using his own Strigoi compulsion, then added, “Deeply.  And you won’t stop until I pull away.”

Adrian hadn’t compelled her to change her feelings about him, just to make her do it.  Lissa tried to fight kissing Adrian, but was finding herself pulled in to his lips.  A fleeting thought suddenly raced through her mind.  _I know what that metallic sound is!  Sorry to spoil your present, Rose_.

Unwillingly, Lissa’s lips twined with Adrian’s.  It felt odd, experiencing his kiss as a Strigoi, especially through her mind - almost like a photocopy of the original.  His lips were slightly colder and there just didn’t seem to be any emotion behind the kiss.  I’d experienced a lot through Lissa’s mind before and this was one thing I didn’t want to have to experience, but I was going as fast as I could.

As Adrian’s lips met Lissa’s, she used her hand to crack open the drawer behind her and reached in.  Once her fingers were inside the drawer, she felt around inside and gripped the item that she was looking for.  She rotated it in her fingers, positioning it just the way she wanted in her grasp.  I knew by feel what Lissa was clutching in her hand: a stake. 

Adrian pulled back from Lissa’s lips and she tried to launch a kick into his groin, but he fended off her kick, pulled her close again, and began kissing her neck.  The feel of his Strigoi kiss there through her mind felt like insects crawling on my skin, but it quickly went from bad to worse as he positioned his fangs on her neck and sunk them in. 

As Lissa began to feel the euphoria of the bite overwhelming her, she launched the stake up into his chest, under the ribs.  From what I was feeling and seeing, it seemed like a perfect kill shot, albeit a bit harder than I would’ve had to strike - which made sense, given Lissa’s strength compared to mine.  Suddenly, it was like a nuclear bomb blast went off.  There was an overwhelming and amazing feeling of beautiful warmth, almost like a healing super-charged on steroids, but then light and pain and colors and sound were everywhere.  I couldn’t see, couldn’t sense anything. 

Then suddenly it was just nothing.  The bond just felt … numb. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, for those of you who are playing along at home, I would like to think that there went two birds with one stone. Hopefully you feel better about the way this whole thing went with Tasha than you did at the end of the last chapter (oh, ye of little faith in me!), or at least somewhat better (as good?) about her as you did by the end of Last Sacrifice.  
> I’m going to give you all a fair warning: my husband is going to competing in a sporting event a long way from home next week and my whole family is travelling, so I will likely not have a new chapter up until the following week. I will do my best to get it up as soon as I can, but hopefully I’ve left us in a better place this weekend than I had with the end of chapter 34.  
> Here’s my new question of the week:  
> If you saw the Vampire Academy movie, did you read the book first or see the movie? And how long ago did you do each?  
> Me, I have a strict policy of the watching before reading if something has been made into a movie or show. Granted that means that some things never get to the book with me (or that some things never get watched, if I don’t have access to the media for the show). However, Vampire Academy was sort of special in that I didn’t actually know when I rented the movie in late 2014 that it was a book when I saw the movie. Maybe a year ago, I was googling “books made into movies” when I was looking for something new to check out from my local library and came across the book. I thought the movie was sort of ‘meh’ (maybe three out of five stars), but thought the premise was good, so I gave the first book a chance. Boy, is that a decision I have not regretted!


	36. Fallout Shelter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of the initial posting of this chapter, it has not been reviewed by a beta. Please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes, confusing wording, or just plain not-well-thought-out ideas.  
> The first two sections are a graphic, disturbing, creepy, and violent Strigoi Adrian POV. I agonized over them. It all makes my skin crawl just a little bit. I highly debated writing those sections and felt super-uncomfortable with them, but I felt like they revealed necessary parts of the story that another character’s perspective wouldn’t have known. If you want to skip them, feel free and you can read a quick overview here at the top. 
> 
> **High-level overview of what you’ll need to know if you skip the first two sections:** Tasha has had her neck broken and was chugged like a frat keg. Because of slurping down so many royals, Adrian is probably the strongest Strigoi Dimitri has ever met and he has spent the time while he was away from the Moroi community as a Strigoi training to learn how to fight. Dimitri was left alive and knocked out with a prize-fighter punch followed by a roofie so that Adrian could leave him for Strigoi Rose to finish. Jill was nearly drained by Adrian. He would’ve finished the job if he hadn’t been interrupted by Lissa, but she was about two seconds from death. Adrian was too distracted by Lissa’s body and the hallucinated Rose in his head to notice her stake, so Lissa got it straight into his heart.

**Adrian POV:**

As I sniffed at the welling blood on Tasha’s neck, I knew that I couldn’t hold out much longer.  I had to drink her dry.  Her blood smelled better than the finest vintage of whiskey I’d ever savored.  With her royal blood, youth, strength, power of her element, and her fear, she smelled better than any other Moroi I’d tasted.

I wanted to save the honor of killing Dimitri for Rose, but if I was going to forego that pleasure, I had to taste someone’s blood.  The extra power from drinking Tasha would be staggering and I was looking forward to it.  Still, I knew that I needed to get Dimitri out of commission before drinking her down.  I was really looking forward to seeing the misery in his eyes as Rose tortured him, though.  I had to make sacrifices if I was going to get to enjoy seeing her killing him slowly.  I’d be sure to bring her back here to finish him off as soon as I awakened her.

Thanks in part to Uncle Rand and the others at that camp, I’d already drank more Moroi blood than most Strigoi ever see.  And a good bit of it was closely related royals, making me even stronger.  It might be arrogant to say that I could be the strongest Strigoi who ever lived.  I am just that arrogant.

Over the past few weeks, I’d been training at a human gym.  It was challenging not to eat my trainers, especially once I made some of them bleed, but I knew that, even with my speed and strength, I would need all the training I could get to bring down a guardian like Dimitri, who had killed so many others like me.  The extra Strigoi speed and strength would make a big difference and I knew that with the right punch, I could knock him unconscious with only one.  I also knew that I’d only get one chance.

Lucky me that the ass-clown doesn’t keep his stakes handy when he’s fucking his skank.

I couldn’t help but sniff Tasha’s neck again as I said, “You didn’t let me finish, my beautiful, _delicious_ -smelling, royal Moroi!  I promise that I will let you die quickly and painlessly.  I really could use the power-up.  Nothing like a little top-off of related royal blood.”

I thought again of Christian.  He’s not quite as related as Tasha, so he wouldn’t provide as much power, but he’d be easier to keep around until I finish him off than a Moroi who had been teaching humans self-defense for the past several years.  I bet he’ll still be as delicious, though.

“Unlike your - equally-tasty, I’m sure - nephew, who I might keep on hand for a doggie bag, if I come across him.”  Right on cue, Tasha tried to break free again.  Tried.  “I suspect he’d put up less of a fight than you, anyways, Tasha.” 

I licked the blood flowing down Tasha’s neck.  It was as amazing as it smelled.  I would have to incapacitate Dimitri so that I could drain her.  I could punch him and then resist drinking him - I’d need to leave a body for Rose to drain and it’d be oh-so-fun to watch her kill him.  If I wanted to incapacitate him, I’d have to let go of one of Tasha’s hands, though.  The blood tastes better if I drink while they’re still alive, but it’s almost as good if I drink right after. 

Whatever.  I guess I’ll have to dispatch her while I incapacitate him.  I got in position to take them both out.

“Now, as for your rather tall dhampir friend ... since I think I’d like to save that for a certain lovely brunette I’ll be seeing shortly, but I can’t have you following me, either -”

I punched Dimitri just the way my human trainers had taught me.  A similar punch in the human gym had actually rended a speed bag in two.  It was a beautiful hit.  I saw his eyes roll back, tongue lolling as his mouth fell open.  He was bleeding slightly from where I hit him and it’d be tempting to resist, but I could share if it meant my end goal - vengeance against that asshole for stealing what was mine - was secured.  He’d have a bruise on his cheek and a concussion, but he’d live.  For now.  The knockout should’ve been enough to put him out of commission for a minute or so, but I had a couple of roofies in my pocket to knock someone out for longer.

As soon as I saw that Dimitri was going down, I snapped Tasha’s neck so that I could drink her.  Her body went limp in my arms and I let her drop to the floor.  Next, I force-fed Dimitri one of the pills to make sure he was out for the count, careful to make sure he swallowed it all the way down without choking.  Then, I picked Tasha back up and sunk my teeth in for a nice leisurely drink. 

After all, I’ve gotta be environmentally conscious - no need to let a warm meal go to waste.

I spun Tasha’s body around to face away from me again, twisted her broken neck back to the right angle, and sunk my fangs deep into her jugular.  Her heart wasn’t beating anymore, but it was still nice and warm.  It tasted like liquid ambrosia. 

I took all that I could from Tasha’s veins, draining her in multiple places to be sure I got every last drop that I could.  I could practically feel the raw power coursing through me as I swallowed it down. 

When I was done with her, I dropped her body on the floor and went back to Dimitri.   I put my finger to his vein.  He still had a strong pulse.  He would live long enough to let Rose torture him. For good measure, I kicked him in the leg.  I wasn’t sure if I broke it, but it would at least slow him down when he finally came to.

Now, off to see a girl about another girl ...

\--=o0/&\0o=-

I managed to get into Lissa’s dorm through the back entrance without anyone seeing me go in.  It was much easier than I thought it would be to break the lock on the door handle and the stairwell of the Moroi dorm was surprisingly empty for midnight on the day before graduation.  My best guess was that the bulk of people had gotten up early to see the novices’ trials, hoping to scout out a future guardian, and then gone back to bed for an afternoon nap.

When I got to Lissa’s floor, I didn’t have to go far.  Her room was right next to the back stairwell.  Easy access.

I set my watch and knocked on the door.  The sound of water running was coming from inside.  Lissa had her own private bathroom inside her dorm room, as a few of the royals did, so I assumed she was in there.  Before the water stopped running, Jill Mastrano answered, opening the door wide.

As soon as Jill’s eyes met mine, I could see and smell her delectable fear.  _Ah.  They’re red_.  I’d nearly forgotten how much of a dead giveaway - excuse the pun - my red eyes would be.

Before Jill could scream or close the door again, I met her eyes with mine and compelled her, saying, “Don’t scream, Jailbait.  Let me in the room and shut the door.”

Jill was helpless to fight the compulsion.  I gripped Jill by the nape of her delicate neck.  I wouldn’t have to snap it before I fed from _this_ Moroi.  Looking in her eyes, I commanded, “Bare your neck to me and let me drink you.”

Jill pulled the hair back from one side of her neck and leaned to expose it.  She gave a tiny little terrified whimper.  Oh, I was going to enjoy this.

I backed her into the wall, leaned in, and sniffed Jill’s neck.  The scent of her fear was intoxicating.  The adrenaline was going to make her blood pump even faster.  I grasped her nape and pulled her into me, biting into her jugular. 

Jill’s blood was nothing like the other common Moroi I’d sampled.  Oh, Mama Mastrano has some secrets in her closet; this girl is royal.

I slurped as her blood bathed my tongue, putting all of my focus into the delicious meal before me.  Eventually, the spurts started to lose strength, but I was going to take all that there was from her.  Jill was exactly the power-up I didn’t know I was going to get.  Just a few more sucks ...

“Adrian?  Is that you?  What are you doing with Jill?”  It was Lissa’s voice.  She had come out of the bathroom.

I dropped Jill and turned around.  Jill wasn’t dead yet, so I could still finish her off later, but it wouldn’t take much more.  When I turned around and Lissa saw me, she gasped.  She seemed stunned, frozen in place.

“So I see they didn’t tell you, then?” I asked, “Surprising, since I’ve been writing you letters for weeks.  ‘ _My Lovely Lissa, How I’d like to sink my fangs into you.  Though Rose is my more immediate target, I’m sure you will be equally delicious._ ’  Of course, I wouldn’t mind sampling _other_ parts of your body before I have all of your blood, either.  Perhaps I could occupy my time with you while you could get our dear little Rose to come here now?” 

I glanced down at her.  She was wearing a silky pale pink bathrobe with lacy edges that clung to her body.  She didn’t have the luscious curves that a dhampir had, but this steamy little number was certainly having an effect on me.

I circled around behind Lissa to admire the view from behind.  Now, there’s an area where this lovely Moroi had every bit the appeal of a dhampir.  Her extra training had firmed the muscles of her backside.  Breathtaking.

I put my arm around Lissa’s waist and began to undo the tie on her robe, parting the fabric to reveal a sheer lace push-up bra, matching panties, and a garter belt.  “My, my, my, Lissa.  Don’t you just look so sexy in this little number under your robe?  I was only hoping to use you as bait for our lovely dhampir, but I might have to take some fringe benefits out of you while I’m here.”

I glanced down at my watch.  Two minutes had already passed, but Lissa was out of the room for at least one of them, so I could count it as one minute, so far.

“You can’t drink her until the real me gets here,” the Rose in my head told me, sitting on Lissa’s desk, wearing the green wrap dress she had on when we went on our birthday date, bobbing a crossed leg, and using a knife to clean out her fingernails.  She’d progressed to the point that I could see her whenever she was present.  And she was almost always present.

My skin started humming in a way that I had come to associate with a Moroi using their magic in the room with me as Lissa said, “Adrian, I’m the last Dragomir.  You know you don’t want to end the Dragomir line.”  _Actually, yes.  Yes, I do_.  “This isn’t you.”  _Ah, compulsion._ Spirit _-fueled compulsion_. 

Though another Moroi had tried to compel me when I was at the camp, I’d secretly hoped that being a Strigoi would make me immune to spirit compulsion, as well, so it was a relief that it seemed to.  “That only works on mortals, Lissa.” I glanced at Rose sitting on the desk and asked, “Isn’t that right, Rose?”

“That’s right,” she told me, “but you know that _yours_ will still work on _her_.  Use it for me, baby!”  I winked at her and she gave me a salacious grin, parting her crossed legs lewdly.  “Get her to bring you to the real me - or use her as bait to bring me here for you!”

“Rose agrees with me,” I told her, “She’s seen other Moroi try to use it on me.  Rose says that she thought you might be able to lead me to the real Rose or that I might be able to lure her here with you.  She thought you’d at least make good bait.”

Rose told me, “I see you looking at her body, Adrian.  You’re enjoying it - aren’t you?”

I answered back in my head, _So what if I am?_

“You know I don’t like to share.  Do what you need to do before the real me gets here.”

“How did you get here?”  Lissa asked.  It didn’t really matter and she seemed smarter than to need to ask such questions, but we had some time to kill until Rose was here. 

I was just bored enough to answer, “Car.  I do know how to drive.”  I glanced down at the lace fabric covering Lissa’s breasts.  I could make out the light shade of her nipples through it.  She wasn’t Rose, but she was making my dick hard enough.

“That’s not what I meant,”  she replied, nearly panting with fear.  God, her blood would taste delicious, too! 

“You can’t kill her until she’s served her purpose as bait, Adrian.  You can kill her and take her blood after the real Rose gets here, but if you want to use her body, I’d suggest you get on with it,” Rose told me, “Focus.”

Rose had a point.  “Glove.  Stake.  Wards.  Any more questions?”  I glanced at my watch again.  Three minutes, two since Lissa had come into the room.  “Just in case she wanted to try anything clever, I started a clock when I got here.  I know from our defense training that it takes Rose twenty minutes to run all the way across campus and back.  The clock started counting down two minutes ago.  If it gets to twenty, we’re leaving before the guardians come running.”

Lissa surprised me by using that adrenaline she was feeling to launch a kick at my leg.  Spirit girl’s definitely been working out, but it still wasn’t enough to faze me.  I spun her lithe little body around and pushed her into the desk next to Rose.  Lissa’s warm, lush body was so close to mine that I had my erection pressed up against her.  She gave a little whimper and I felt her shaking up against me.  So appealing.

“Why, Princess Dragomir, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to seduce me.”  Her body wriggled against me.  She tried - and failed - to hurt me with a poorly-placed elbow to my ribs, but all she was doing was turning me on more.  “And if I didn’t know better, I’d think it was working.”

Hallucination-Rose cried out with glee, “Make her kiss you, stud.  The way you’d kiss me.  Give the real Rose something to look forward to when she feels it through the bond.”

I pulled up my compulsion.  It was different than my Moroi compulsion, but I was quickly becoming just as good with it.  I commanded, “Kiss me.  Deeply.  And you won’t stop until I pull away.”

Lissa couldn’t fight the kiss.  She leaned in and her lips brushed against mine.  I had compelled her to kiss deeply, though, and that required tongue.  I pressed closer and opened my lips, pushing my tongue out, demanding entry.  She parted her lips and my tongue circled hers.  Her mouth was warm and delicious, with just a hint of mint.  I could still taste the lingering of Jill’s blood mixed with Lissa’s sweet mouth.  I moaned into her delicious kiss and pushed her face tighter up against mine with my hands on the nape of her neck.

I dimly heard a scraping sound at the desk behind Lissa, but could scarcely care.  There wasn’t anything she could do to stop me.

“Yes!  That’s it, baby!” cooed fake-Rose, “If you time this right, you still have time to have her before the real me gets here.”

I pressed further into the kiss. 

One of my fangs grazed her tongue and blood welled.  _Exquisite_! 

And, oh, so much like Jill’s.  _Oh, Daddy Dragomir had a secret, too - didn’t he_?

I pulled back to sample more.  Lissa tried to kick at me again with her knee.  “Pitiful,” Rose said, “Now remember: just go in for a taste.  Don’t drink her dry yet.”

I clutched her neck closer and bit into her neck.  Ecstasy coursed through my entire body.  Until it didn’t.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

Suddenly, the world spun on its axis.  I felt something hard and sharp spearing into my chest, straight into my heart.  My whole body felt like it was floating and burning.  Blinding light shot out and I couldn’t see anything around me. My body was bathed in agony and fire spread through every part of me.

I heard a scream and dimly realized it was my own.  _This is it.  I’m dying_.

I deserve to die.

The actions of the past several weeks all began running through my head.  But it was more than that.  The weight of all of my actions began running through my head.  All that I’d done.  All the people that I hurt.  All the lives I’d taken.  That little kid at the wards.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but I didn’t want to anymore.  I didn’t deserve to.  All my mistakes were crashing down on me.

I couldn’t help but crumble to the floor, weeping like a baby.  What had I done?

Through my weeping, I heard Lissa asking, “Adrian?  Are you … Moroi again?”

“I don’t know,” I told her, “I don’t know what I am!  I don’t want to be here!  I want to die!”

I felt her hand patting my back.  “Stop,” I told her, “I don’t deserve this!”

“You’re not evil anymore, Adrian,” she said, “I felt it when I staked you.”

“You staked me?  What happened?  I should be dead.  I _want_ to be dead!  _Kill me_!” I cried. 

She had fastened her robe again, but other than that, she hadn’t been concerned with herself.  She pulled me close and began running her hand across my forehead like a mother might to soothe a child.  “Shh … It’s okay.  It’s gonna be okay.”

Memories ran through my brain, replaying every gruesome scene of my time as a Strigoi, every life I’d taken.  Lila, Randall, the unknowns I’d run across at the dhampir commune, the small child, one of my trainers at the gym, Tasha, Jill … Jill!  Someone had to save her before she died.  I looked over at her.  She was still breathing, but it was slow.

“Jill,” I told Lissa. 

Lissa reached out a hand to touch her.  I saw her close her eyes and grip Jill’s arm so hard her fingers were turning white.  “I can’t,” she said, “I’ve got nothing left.  I can’t even feel the bond or see someone’s aura.”

I reached out for Jill’s arm, willing her to get better.  I could feel her pulse in her wrist.  Jill’s slow, weak heartbeat was slowing by the second.  Thump ... Thump … Thump …. Then, nothing.  _No_!

I clutched Jill’s arm tightly and closed my eyes.  _Was I truly Moroi again?  If I was Moroi again, did I have_ spirit _power in me?_

I looked at Lissa and I could see her aura.  I looked at Jill and saw … nothing. As hollow as the desk beside me.

I willed the spirit to heal her. 

Nothing. 

Still no pulse.  Jill was … dead.  I called on all of the spirit I had inside me.  Suddenly, I could feel it.  I could feel the warmth and euphoria and colors sweeping through me.  Working.  To save Jill’s life.

She can’t be dead.

I could feel the power moving to Jill, transferring.  Then I felt her pulse.  Thump .. Thump … Thump-thump … Thump-thump-thump … Thump-thump-thump-thump.  Jill was being healed.

Her aura was harder to see after such a massive healing, but I could see it and it was … black.  Untroubled, sweet, innocent Jailbait.  Filled with shadows. 

I had just bonded to Jill!  What have I done?

Jill opened her eyes and blinked at me.  “Adrian?” she asked, ‘I don’t know what happened.  I must’ve hit my head or something.  I just had the strangest dream!  You were a Strigoi!  And you tried to kill me!”

“Adrian,” Lissa said, “You just saved Jill’s life!”

No.  No, I didn’t.  But we’d worry about that later.  “Dimitri!” I said, “I left him roofied in the cabin - with Tasha!  Out by the edge of the back fence!  Someone needs to go to them!  Call Rose!  Let her know!”

“I can’t,” Lissa said, “I can’t feel the bond.”

“What about the phone?” I asked, “Call the guardians.  And let them know that there’s a hole in the wards.”

Lissa picked up her dorm room phone and called Alberta’s office number.  After a few seconds, she said, “Hello, this is Vasilisa Dragomir.  We have a … umm … interesting … situation in my dorm room right now.”

I heard yelling over the phone.  It sounded like _Rose’s_ yelling.  I looked down at my watch.  It’d been just a little over ten minutes.  She beat her own record.

“No,” Lissa said, “I’m fine.  Put Rose on the phone, please.”

Oh, God, Dimitri was alone in that cabin with all of the candles with Tasha!  Rose would be devastated.  “Tell them not to send Rose to the cabin.  Please,” I begged, “She won’t want to see that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said at the beginning, please forgive any grammar mistakes or missing words. I finished this very late and my beta didn’t have time to go over it. Feel free to let me know in the comments if there is anything I need to fix.  
> I’m so sorry for the delay, everyone! With my husband’s competition last week, we were out of town for four days and after that, I came back with a massive sinus infection that it took me a few days to ditch. On the bright side, he won! I’d tell you more about it, but a girl’s got to have some boundaries.  
> Sorry for those of you who were hoping for slightly better for Tasha than the ending she got last week. On the bright side, she was still friends with Dimitri right up until the end and she went out trying to do what was right and sacrificing herself to try to save Christian.  
> Also sorry again for the creepy things Strigoi Adrian said/did. I feel like I need to go scrub myself until I bleed to get rid of that. Yuck!  
> So here’s my question of the week:  
> I’m about 2-3 chapters away from being done with Building the Tension. For those of you who are on both FanFiction and ArchiveOfOurOwn, I have two places to go from here: Hot for Teacher Romitri Style (currently only on AO3, but I would bring it over to FanFiction) or Playing Adult (currently only on FanFiction, but I would bring it over to AO3). Which one should I go for next after this story is finished? Or should I just divide it up and slow the progress on both down a little?  
> Both of them are Romitri stories. I have two unpublished chapters on Hot for Teacher, bringing it up to around 25,000 words. Playing Adult has just the two published chapters, bringing it up to around 3,000 words right now. I also have a couple of shorter one-shot stories are AO3 that are both basically just smut, which I could probably bring over to FanFiction as long as you all promise not to get me banned for them!
> 
> For those of you who aren’t on both, here’s the summary for Hot for Teacher:  
> Alternate Universe - All Human. Characters are slightly OOC (very horny). High school senior and all-around bad girl Rose Hathaway’s world collides with the new hot American Literature teacher from Russia, Mr. Belikov, when she is forced to serve detention with him for an entire semester. Mr. Belikov can’t help but look for outlets for his desire for the curvy young student.
> 
> And Here’s the summary for Playing Adult:  
> High school senior Dimitri Belikov has just discovered his father's exciting new neighbors during his required weekend visitation - a pair of college girls trying to sow their wild oats over the summer. One problem: the girls don't know he's not in college, too. Very OOC.


	37. Safety in Numbers

When I got to Alberta’s office, she was on the phone.  I could still feel that Lissa was alive, but I couldn’t feel her emotions through the bond at all.  It wasn’t even like when she was asleep; then, I could still feel her dreams. I had no idea what happened.  

“It’s an emergency!”  I screamed, “Go to Lissa’s room right now!”

Alberta put her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone and said, “This is Lissa on the phone right now.  She just called.”

“Just called?  Adrian Ivashkov is in her room!  I can’t feel anything through the bond.”

“Vasilisa,” Alberta asked into the phone, “Rose Hathaway is here and says that you have,” Alberta lowered her voice cautiously, “a Strigoi in your room.  Are you being coerced or have you been hurt in any way?”

A few seconds passed as Alberta got her reply.  Alberta shook her head.

“Then could you please tell me what happened?”

“Oh,” said Alberta, then a few seconds later followed it up with, “Oh, no!”  She started signalling with her hands for guardians to mobilize.

“I see,” she continued, “And you’re sure?”  She listened for another minute or two to Lissa’s end of the conversation.

“Thank you, Vasilisa,” Alberta said, “We’ll send someone there right away,” and she hung up the phone.  “I’d like every guardian we can spare to go to Vasilisa Dragomir’s dorm room right now. And be prepared to carry injured back to Doctor Olendzki’s office.  After you’re done there, I have another place for two of you to go.”

“What is it?” I asked.

Alberta hesitated.  “Come _on_ ,” I told her, “After my trials today, you know that I’m every bit as much a guardian as any of the guardians on staff who graduated last year - more so, even.”

“Rose, give me a minute,” she said, “I have to make another phone call.”  She picked up the phone and dialed, then said, “Headmistress? I’m sorry to bother you, ma’am, but it’s rather urgent.  The wards have been staked again and will need to be reinforced as soon as possible.”

Another couple of seconds passed.

“Out on the northeast end of campus next to the pond - out by the old guardian watchpost cabin.  Almost the same place as last time.”

My heart thudded in my ears.  Dimitri and Tasha were in the old guardian watchpost cabin when I left them almost an hour ago.  How long had Adrian been on campus?

As soon as Alberta hung up her phone, the group of guardians ready to leave were standing there.  “Rose, you might as well come along, too,” she said, picking up an extra stake from a rack full of them and handing it to me.

“Guardian Smith?” Alberta said, “Since Rose is joining us now, I’d like you to head to the watchpost cabin.  Another guardian will join you there shortly. Call my cell phone directly when you get there and report back what you find.”

“Why not use walkie-talkies, ma’am?” he asked.

“The priority is the princess’s room.  I want the cabin investigated, but let’s use some discretion.”  

With that, we all journeyed out towards Lissa’s dorm room, running as a group.

“Rose,” she said, pulling me aside as we ran, in a quiet voice, “I know that you know that Guardian Belikov is in that cabin.  I have been told that he is fine. Drugged, but fine. Princess Dragomir and Jill Mastrano might be less so.”

“What happened with Adrian?” I asked her, with a chill in my voice.

“I’m not sure I can believe what Vasilisa told me, but I’m also not sure I _can’t_ believe it.  All the more reason to have every available guardian go there.”

“What did she tell you?” I asked.

“She said that Lord Ivashkov was a Strigoi, but now he’s … _not_ …  She says that he is a Moroi again.”  

I stopped running.  I couldn’t stifle the gasp from leaving my lips.  “Moroi?”

“That’s what she said,” Alberta replied, “She said that she could feel it.  That she … _healed_ him.  And she says that he used spirit to heal Jill.”

I was already winded from running to the guardians’ office, but I began to run again, much faster, doubling my previous pace.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

When we arrived at Lissa’s room, Guardian Andrewes began unstrapping a battering ram from his back to use on the door.  Before Guardian Andrewes could finish getting the battering ram in place, Lissa opened up the door.  

She had a clear bite on the side of her neck, but other than that, she appeared to be okay.  “Liss!” I breathed. It was unlike me to do so, but I wanted to hug her. “Are you okay? Are you being compelled?”

“Rose, I’m fine,” she said, “But I used more spirit than I ever have.”  Lissa pulled back from the doorway and the guardians rushed into her room.  Jill was sitting on the bean bag chair on the floor. She seemed distraught and was gazing off into nothing - nearly catatonic -, but other than that, she looked like she was fine.  

Adrian was balled up in the corner on the floor in a fetal position, weeping.  At once, the guardians began to pull out stakes and get into fighting positions.

“Don’t!” Lissa pleaded.  She didn’t have any spirit left, but I could tell that she was futilely trying to compel them.  “He’s not a Strigoi anymore!”

All of us - except for Lissa and Jill - were confused.  Lissa continued. “He healed Jill. And he regrets everything he did while he was a Strigoi.”

None of us were convinced, but his reactions and behavior were puzzling.  “Look at him,” Lissa said, “I think he’s kind of … broken.”

Adrian looked up at us.  His face was streaked with tears as he stood to face us.  “Kill me,” he begged, “I don’t deserve to live. I can’t live with what I did.”  Adrian approached the nearest guardian, screaming, “Attack me! I’m bad! Kill me!  I’m evil and need to be destroyed!” On the last word, his voice broke. Adrian fell to his knees, bowing his head.  Hands clutched together, he begged, “Please … kill me!” More tears streamed down his face, Adrian’s eyes, now that vivid emerald green again, shimmering with them.

“His eyes!” one of the guardians whispered, “They’re not red!”

“That’s because he’s a Moroi!” Lissa insisted.  Adrian knelt there, weeping, making no move to attack.

All of us held our breath for a moment, none of us quite sure what to do.  Alberta removed a pair of handcuffs from her belt and began walking towards Adrian with them.  “Don’t cuff me!” He pled, even as he held out his arms to let her place the cuffs, “Kill me!”

Alberta fastened the handcuffs on Adrian.  “Check the girls!” she told the other guardians, “and get them both to Doctor Olendzki.”  

Alberta began man-handling Adrian, pulling him by the handcuffs.  I’d never seen him look more haggard or despondent. Part of me felt like he deserved it and tried to just let it go, letting the hate and anger drag me down into darkness and let him wallow in his pain and misery.  Make him suffer for all the suffering he caused.  

And yet … if he was truly Moroi again, part of me was reminded of the friend I used to have, and of the man, however misguided in his attempts to do so, who was getting ready to propose to me.  The small part of me that had truly cared for him.  

I sighed.  Why was I feeling this way?

As he was being led out of the room, Adrian mumbled, “Belikov.  And Tasha Ozera.”

“What was that?” I asked, terrified of what he had to say.

“I … killed her,” he said, “And Belikov …” he was weeping again and I couldn’t understand the rest of what he said.  

My heart was in my throat.  I lunged for him and wrapped my hands around his throat.  “What was that?” I growled at him, tightening my grasp.

“I gave him a rohypnol.  About an hour ago. I was planning to save him for you to kill … after - after I turned you …” Adrian broke down again and it took him a few more moments to compose himself.  “He was alone with Tasha. You don’t want to see what I saw.”

Immediately, my mind went to the worst.  Hadn’t Dimitri said that we would be together?  What did Adrian see when he saw them?

“ _What did you see?!_ ”  I screamed at him.  He shook his head, closing his eyes.  My mind whirred. Did Dimitri give in to Tasha after I left them?  I tightened my hold again, causing Adrian to gag.  

Amazingly, none of the guardians tried to stop me.

I saw Adrian’s lips trying to remove, gasping for air, but no words were coming out.  I shoved him up against the wall.

“Rose ...” Lissa begged.  I hadn’t even realized she was still here.  “He can’t talk if he can’t breathe.”

“The bastard doesn’t deserve to breathe!” I told her.

“Let him tell you,” Lissa urged, putting her hand on my shoulder.  I released my grasp and Adrin crumpled back to the floor, coughing.

“Cabin,” he gasped, “Th-they were,” another cough, “alone.  T-together.” He coughed again, bringing his cuffed hands to his throat and rubbing.  “It looked … romantic. There were flowers. He had his shirt off.”

Alberta gasped in shock, but relief passed through me.  He was a lot less dressed than that when I had left him, and the rest I already knew.  He hadn’t been _with_ Tasha in the way Adrian had assumed.  Then the words he had said first hit me.  “Wait - Tasha is … dead?”

Adrian wept again, only able to nod his head, then finally said, “I killed her.  And so many others! Kill me!”

I backed away, my mind overwhelmed by all that was happening.  I didn’t always love Tasha, but I didn’t want her to die. And who would be the voice of the dhampirs to the council now that Tasha was gone?  Or who would lead the Moroi who wanted to fight?

“Princess,” said Alberta, patting her on the arm, “we should get you to Doctor Olendzki now.”

Lissa nodded and walked out, followed by one of the guardians escorting Jill while holding Jill by the upper arm. 

My mind was still reeling as I followed them out.  “Liss,” I asked, “Are you going to be okay?”

“Yes,” she said, “Rose, go.  I’ll be fine.”

\--=o0/&\0o=--

I ran to the cabin.  By the time I arrived, three more guardians were there and there were two stretchers sitting on the ground outside of the cabin.  

One of them had a body with a sheet over it.  Tasha.  

I moved to cover my gaping mouth.  She was dead. A tear trekked down my face.

Dimitri was on the other stretcher, his eyelids heavy, partially unconscious and unable to move.  He had a bruise on the side of his face, which extended over his eye. It would likely be gone by tomorrow, but for now, he looked all the more worse for wear because of it.

“I think he has a concussion,” Guardian Smith said, “We’re going to get him to Doctor Olendzki.”  I nodded, dumbly.

The guardians were having difficulty carrying both stretchers, since Dimitri was so tall and heavy that he seemed to need three people to carry him.  After a few more seconds of the guardians struggling, I could tell that they were having difficulty. “Do you need some help?” I asked.

Guardian Smith nodded.  “We’re taking this one,” he motioned to the stretcher with the sheet over it, “to the infirmary, too.  Can you help with her?” I nodded, somberly.

“After the year we’ve all had,” he said, “we should probably have a morgue, but we don’t.”

I nodded again, as I went to pick up the end of Tasha’s stretcher that her head was on.  Guardian Smith grabbed the other end.

“Can I talk to her?” I asked, “And say my goodbyes?”

He nodded.

I leaned down towards her face as we carried her stretcher, saying, “Tasha, I’m so sorry for what happened to you.  You didn’t deserve to die. You were always such a fighter and I know you must’ve fought right up until the end.” I paused, lowering my voice so that Guardian Smith couldn’t hear me.  “I know you loved him. I love him, too. I’ll take good care of him, Tasha. Forever.”

\--=o0/&\0o=--

We carried Tasha the rest of the way in silence.

Doctor Olendzki was assessing Lissa and Jill when we got there.

“Other than blood loss, both of you seem to be just fine,” said Doctor Olendzki to Lissa, “Now, I need to go check on my next patient.”  She turned and saw Dimitri, babbling and half-conscious on the stretcher. “Other than for his initial physical, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Guardian Belikov in here for a medical issue before.  What happened?”

Guardian Smith said, “I’m not really sure.  He was obviously hit in the head, though.”

I chimed in, saying, “He was given rohypnol.”

“How long ago?” Doctor Olendzki asked.

I glanced at the clock.  “A little more than an hour and a half ago.”

“Guardian Belikov,” she said to him, “we’re in for a fun afternoon while this wears off.  I don’t have a counter-drug for that. Luckily, with your size and dhampir metabolism, it should be gone in about an hour.”

I looked at the clock again.  It was a few minutes before two o’clock.  “Do you think he’ll be able to make it to the promise mark ceremony at three?  Are they even still going to have it after this?” I asked.

Doctor Olendzki thought for a moment and said, “Guardian Smith, could you please check with Guardian Petrov to see if they are planning to postpone the ceremony?  It depends on how fast he recovers, Rose, but we will try to get your mentor there to see you get your mark.”

As Guardian Smith picked up his cell phone and began to dial, I walked over to where Dimitri was laying, took his hand, and looked into his glassy, half-conscious eyes.  “Dimitri, I’m glad you’re okay. I hope to see you in at the ceremony.” I squeezed his hand, and then let go and walked over to Lissa.

I asked her, “Liss, what happened?  Explain this to me.”

“I _staked_ him, Rose. I had a stake that I had charmed with healing that I was planning to give you for a graduation present tonight at the party.  I plunged it into his chest, just like with the dummy. And it went in. I could feel it. When the stake went into him - I don’t know - it acted like a conduit or something.  All of the spirit magic in me went into him. It felt ...”

“Kinda like a nuclear blast?” I offered.

“Yeah, kinda like that.  And then I could feel all of his feelings.  It was like his … his _soul_ … went _through_ me.  I could feel how much he cared for you.  I could feel all of the regret for the things he did.  I could feel that he was turned on accident. It took literally all of the spirit within me.  I couldn’t even see his aura afterwards. But I could feel how much he was hurting when it was happening.  Rose, he is emotionally _obliterated_ \- like no pain I’ve ever experienced.  He may never be right again. Then, when he healed Jill …”  Lissa lowered her voice and leaned in to me. “I think she might’ve been dead.  Adrian and Jill might be bonded now. For Jill to have to go through what he was feeling?  And with a healing of that magnitude, the darkness … for that to have to go through Jill.”

“Jill?” I said.  I glanced over at her and she still seemed unresponsive.  A chill washed over me.

Lissa was chewing on her lip and I knew that she knew more but was hesitant to say it.

I took her hand.  “Lissa, what else?  I know there’s more.”

“Adrian said a lot of crazy things while we were waiting for the guardians to come.  Some crazier than others.”

“Lissa, what did he say?”

“He said that when he … _drank_ Jill, that she … she tasted like a Dragomir.”

Before I could begin to respond to that, Guardian Smith walked over.  “I just talked to Guardian Petrov. Since everyone still seems to be okay and since all of the graduation plans have been made, she felt it best if things continue as scheduled. Princess Dragomir, Guardian Petrov said that if you, Rose, or Jill need extra time before leaving campus because of this, you’re welcome to have a few extra days.”  Then, to me, he said, “Rose - I think we can almost call you Guardian Hathaway now - Guardian Petrov said that you can be moved to the end of the promise mark ceremony if you want some more time to prepare. That would give you a better chance that Guardian Belikov would be there to see you get your mark.”

I nodded. “Okay, that sounds good.”

“I’ll let her know.  You’d better go get ready for the ceremony,” he said.

I nodded again and set off for my dorm room.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

The ceremony was a smaller event.  All of the attendees were either dhampirs or those invited by dhampirs.  Lissa was there for me, along with both of my parents. I had yet to see Dimitri, but I was hopeful that he would show up before I got my score.

When they began in alphabetical order, it tugged at my hear that Mason would’ve been first.  I imagined him bringing a score at the top of our class - after me, of course. His mother would’ve been here, proud to see him succeed.

As each novice rose to receive his promise mark and become a guardian, his final trials score was announced, then the tattoo process would begin.  Much like with the much more somber _zvezda_ mark ceremony, there were three chairs at the front of the room for participants to receive their marks.  

After the first few people were seated to receive their marks, the rest would wait in line to get their own.  Since I was going to be last, I would have to wait the longest to get mine.

When Eddie’s name was called, his score was the highest I’d heard so far.  Several people cheered. “I wonder how fast he went through the dark maze,” I said off-handedly.

“What dark maze?” asked Meredith, sitting beside me in the novices.

“Right before the bridge,” I replied.

“There was no dark maze before the bridge,” Meredith said, “What are you talking about?”

“Right after your pregnant Moroi turned Strigoi?” I asked.

“Uhh, Rose, none of that happened,” Meredith said.

Dean Barnes interrupted, saying, “except to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was watching your trials, Rose.  They were completely different from everyone else’s.  They covered part of the course with tarps to make it darker just before you went out.  You were the only one with a pregnant Moroi. You were the only one whose Moroi turned Strigoi.  You were the only one who was chased at close range across the bridge.”

I sat there, in shock.  Dimitri had said that they’d made my trials to test some ‘situations that other people will not experience’.  Boy, had they ever.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

When Alberta finally called my name at the end of the list, my score was announced.  I had the highest in the class, by far. The highest score I’d ever heard of. Definitely at least a full black moon.  I was sort of glad she didn’t have to read my grades along with my score, but my record in my field experience and trials would more than make up for them.

I looked over to where my parents sat and saw that Dimitri, Lissa, and Jill were sitting with them.  I smiled. Dimitri was very bruised and looked like he might still have a little bit of the drug in his system, but he smiled back and waved.  Lissa’s bite marks had already healed. Jill still seemed troubled, but she smiled at me.

I still couldn’t sense anything through the bond, but I imagined what Lissa would say to me now if she could:  _Rose, we did it!  I can’t wait for our new life together to start!  Lehigh, here we come!_

It took me a few moments for it to really hit me.  Everything about my life was about to change. I was no longer a student.  I wouldn’t be living at St. Vladimir’s anymore. I was going to be going off into my ‘real life’, as a guardian.  Lissa would go off to college at Lehigh and Christian and I would attend there with her.  

Nothing would be familiar.  I was scared, and yet, I knew this was going to be a change for the better.

\--=o0/&\0o=--

After the ceremony, I changed out of my promise mark ceremony clothes into clothes more appropriate for a party and went to the party that Abe had set up.  He had obtained a small but lavish banquet room that seemed inappropriate for a ‘lowly’ dhampir’s graduation, bigger and more grandiose than the room we’d had our luncheon on his last visit.

After changing, I headed downstairs and was met at my dorm building door by Dimitri.

“Congratulations,” he said, with a smile, “Alberta tells me that you are a Blast Master, level two.”

“Does this mean what I think it means?” I asked.

“I’m not quite ready to announce it to the whole campus, but once we’re inside the banquet room, I think hand-holding would be acceptable.  Let’s walk there now; shall we?”

I couldn’t stop the grin that spread across my face as Dimitri and I walked along the path.

“They told me about Tasha,” Dimitri said, immediately sobering us both, “but the rest is … confusing, to say the least.”

“I’m sorry about what happened to Tasha,” I told him, “I know she was your friend.  Even if I didn’t always like her, I liked her and I’m sorry to see her go. Lissa can explain what happened after that better than I can.  I still can’t feel anything through the bond. I mean, I can feel that she’s still there, but it’s like when you turn on a TV and all you get is static.  I know that there’s something there, but it’s just … unreadable.”

“And Adrian is really a Moroi again?” he asked.

“I think so.  You should’ve seen him.  I wanted to hate him so much, but he was just so pitiful.  He was crying and asking us to kill him.”

Dimitri sighed deeply, “If I was there, it would’ve been tempting.  All the things he did. Even before he was a Strigoi.”

“Did Alberta say what’s going to happen to him?”  I asked.

“If he’s truly a Moroi again, he’ll probably be put on trial for the things he did as a Moroi, including the girl he killed to become a Strigoi.  But I was told that Lissa said her death was an accident - not that there’s any proof. Given that, the Ivashkov family name, and a family lawyer, he’ll likely get a light sentence.  I heard that his mother is related to Damon Tarus, who is a pretty renowned Moroi lawyer. It doesn’t sound like Adrian can be legally held responsible for his actions as a Strigoi, though - _if_ he’s truly a Moroi again.”

A few more moments passed in silence.  “How long did it take you to come out of the drugs?” I asked him, “I’m glad you were conscious enough to come to my promise mark ceremony, but it looked like you were pretty out of it.”

“I’ll be honest; I don’t remember a lot of the ceremony.  I don’t know if that was the drug or the concussion, though.  But I saw your score. And I remember some interesting things your father said to me.  I talked with Alberta after the ceremony and that part is pretty concrete in my mind, though.”

“Did you see when Tasha …?” I asked.

“Adrian knocked me out as he was snapping her neck.  I could see it happen, but I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“I know how much this must affect you to have seen her being killed, Dimitri.  Are you going to be okay?”

“I will be.  Eventually. She wasn’t as close to me as Ivan was and we weren’t on the best of terms right at the end.  The reason Adrian went to Lissa’s room was because Tasha told him you’d be going there.”

“Why would she tell him that?” I asked.

“She was trying to protect Christian.  But there’s something else you should know,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“At the time of her death, I was still slated to be Tasha’s guardian after leaving.  I talked with Hans Croft, head of the Guardian Council at Court, after I talked to Alberta.  With Tasha’s death happening before my assignment began, I would be guarding her next of kin.”

“Christian,” I said.

“Christian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we haven’t completely come to the end of our story, but we’re sure getting close. I’d say we have maybe two to three more chapters, plus a possible epilogue. From here on out, school is back in session where I live, so my progress will be slowing down a bit for the next few chapters.  
> Here’s my question of the week:  
> Have you ever come to a point in your life like Rose’s graduation where you just knew everything you knew was about to change?  
> For me, mine was actually the point at the end of my freshman year of college when my parents split up. My mother was the one who had convinced my father that my parents should pay for my education, and when he left, my source of tuition pretty much evaporated. I had to move back in with my mom and pay my own way through school.


End file.
